


The Hospital Hazza Tale

by Stylinsontimes



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Fluff and Angst, I maybe am unaware of how to tag properly, It's so fluffy that you'll die, Lou and Haz are doctors goddamit!, Louis is closeted, Smut too, Ziam is diabetes causing, harry is smitten, it's worth it trust me, jealous lovers undercover, love and love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-19
Updated: 2014-03-14
Packaged: 2017-12-27 01:32:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 90,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/972748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stylinsontimes/pseuds/Stylinsontimes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dr. Louis Tomlinson, 21, is a hard working and focused Doctor with a troubled past and tightly held secrets. Harry Styles, 19 is a charismatic and delicious Intern who is hard to ignore with his baby face, soft heart and kiss worthy lips. Louis is gay but he'd never admit. Harry is gay but he'd never clarify. They are so hopelessly and desperately in love that poetry seems inadequate. Things get tricky when grief pulls them towards each other.</p><p>An AU where Louis is falling in love against his will and hence ends up having wet dreams, Harry is a starstruck of Louis and wants to bite Louis' lips hard, Zayn and Liam are moving past their respective failed relationships to love each other, Niall is the happy go lucky guy with awesome hugs, Stan is just a victim of Louis' dirty lie, Nick is the perfect boss (harry adores him and Louis hate/loves him) while Jeremy is the beautiful boy with the terminal disease.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The sunlight caught my angel

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zarah5](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zarah5/gifts), [Keep_Calm_And_Read_Fic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keep_Calm_And_Read_Fic/gifts), [FeelsForBreakfast](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeelsForBreakfast/gifts).



> Hello Fellas! This AU is close to my heart because I am from the same profession more or less and I wish to find love like Larry here!
> 
> I want to dedicate this to [Zarah5](http://zarah5.tumblr.com/) because she is fabulous and the AO3 family very well knows it!  
> to [FeelsForBreakfast](http://infinitylourry.tumblr.com/) because her's was the first ever fanfic I had read and I died a thousand deaths.  
> Lastly to [Keep_Calm_And_Read_Fic](http://keepcalmandreadfic.tumblr.com/) because her fairytale stories make my life so much more surreal!
> 
> I myself am [hazzalouisstylinson](http://hazzalouisstylinson.tumblr.com/)!! I hope you guys enjoy! Xx
> 
> I would love a beta for my further stories and I'll return the favour too!

“Wooaaaaah!!” Louis exclaimed as he skidded on the wet cement floor and barely caught himself.

“Alice! Someone got to work early today?” he asked the caretaker standing nearby good naturedly.

Alice waved and laughed back at him. “Yeah Lou! Inspection today! Gotta keep my job!”

“Uh! It’s always so hectic on such days; I wish I could avoid the authoritarian drama.” The boy said steadying himself and fixing his shirt.

Louis William Tomlinson, 21 was a brilliant and enthusiastic doctor in a reputed hospital in London, ‘Apollo Super speciality’ and currently on the verge of completing a year of his dream job.

Alice is a middle aged and motherly cleaner in Apollo whose hazel eyes were currently shining with affection for the boy. She had lost her son in an accident more than a year ago and Louis’ arrival made her miss her son a little lesser. She said that Louis had the same energy like her son had and her eyes crinkled in joy as she laughed lightly at Louis’ childish retorts. “I am sure my ass is better.” Louis said he twirled on the spot.

“Indeed love! You look fine today! Anything special?” Alice teased him.    

Lou flipped his hair and grinned back at her adding a wink for a good measure. “Felt something special coming up!” He tucked his hands into his slightly shabby white lab coat and made his way over to his ward making a way to sashay his ample hips for the amusement of general polpulace.

For as long as he could remember he had wanted to be a doctor. It had all happened right after his dad had left him, his four sisters and his mother to fend for themselves. He was 8 when his father, Troy Austen, had left their house and hadn’t bothered to look back again. he had later found out that his father had married his mother only because she was pregnant with Louis at the time and when it was just an experiment for him. His father in reality was a gay and when he met the guy of his dreams eight years later, he finally confessed of it to Louis' mother. Louis father abandoned them to start his own life for once, left behind a confused and sad little blue eyed boy. 

His mom had taken the separation to her heart and had slipped into progressive depression which had worsened as time had passes. Louis being so young at that time had not known what to do, he would only cry when her mother would become catatonic for certain stretches of time and on certain days she’d refuse to get up in the mornings and then one day her mom had cut her vein to commit suicide and Louis was told that it was just a miracle that had saved her. It’s least to say that the little boy was affected and traumatised and he took the happenings to his heart. He swore to hate his father and do anything in his power to never let his mum be hurt again. He still shuddered when he had flashbacks of this day.

He remembered being hungry that day as he came back from school; His best friend Liam’s mother had come to drop him at his place and then she’d have come back in the evening to pick him. Louis being famous for his restlessness had run in his hurry to reach his mom and to some delicious food he was sure his mom would have prepared, he had tripped and fallen on the porch. Liam’s mom had rushed to pick him up and had carried him into the home. He hissed in pain as he saw he had scraped his knee and it was bleeding.

What happened next was what had haunted Louis for many nights to come.

“JOHANNA! Lou’s hurt! Where are you?”  Mrs. Payne had called out.

Receiving no reply she got worried as she saw that the front lock was open and obviously Johanna never left her home like that. Fearing a burglary or worse she took two steps of the stairs at a time as she bounded up and into his mother’s room.

“Answer me Jay! Where are you?”

Nobody replied apart from the reverberation of her own voice. Just as she was about to turn and leave and check in the backyard she saw light falling from the crack of the washroom door and gently pushed open to find Jay lying in the pool of her own blood caused by the rivulets flowing from her wrist. Louis’ mother had cut her wrist but judging by the amount of blood it hadn’t been too long.

“Christ Jay!! Come on come on! Look at me!”

Mrs. Payne was tearing up and she was frantically shaking Johanna. She wiped her nose with her sleeve and rummaged through the cabinet to look for cotton or bandage. Having found some she pressed it on her wrist and brushed back Jay’s hair plastered on her face. To say she was scared was understatement of the century.

Louis distinctly remembers staying rooted to the spot as Mrs. Payne had rushed up the stairs. Liam had come to stand by him and had hugged him with one arm. Louis was elder to Liam but it was always Liam who had comforted him when he had needed the most. They had been friends since forever and Louis looked at him as he brother he never had. His fearful blue eyes had looked at Liam’s kind brown eyes and Liam had smiled at him to give him courage.

He was craning his neck to know something about the situation when he heard Mrs Payne shriek out, calling Louis to the room along with her cell phone which she had kept on the table.

The two young boys had at once rushed up the stairs and Louis had meekly handed over the phone. Louis took shaky steps towards the washroom and peeked inside to see his mom pale in the face sitting in a crimson pool… but of what? He next noticed her wrist which was covered by a soaking bandage and understood instantly. He had gasped and hugged Mrs. Payne. She had clutched him tight with an arm while she frantically dialled the emergency. Within minutes the ambulance had rushed in and carried his mom away along with the distraught and scared trio.

The evening and night had passed in a daze of hugs, tears and words of comfort but he just remembered Liam’s steady hand in his and his mother’s face as she lay listless. Another thing that he remembered from the day that was a man that came over to him in a long lab coat and who had beautiful kind eyes and Louis had immediately felt like he could trust him. He knelt down in front of him and asked him about the condition of the boy’s knee. Louis looked down in shock having forgotten his own pain amidst the havoc but he nodded weekly to tell him he was fine. The doctor had carried him to a room and had redressed him up nice and comfortable. He had chit-chatted with Louis as he had tended to his wound.

“What’s your name young man?” The doctor had asked.

“It’s Louis Austen, sir.”

“You have been crying haven’t you?” He stated as he observed the redness around the boy’s eyes.

“My mommy is sick, sir. She was bleeding and I am scared!” His voice had cracked and he has seen the doctor lose his smile and sadness tugged in his eyes.

“There, you are a brave boy aren’t you Louis?” The doctor asked as he was done with the bandage.

“Big boys don’t cry no? Mom would hurt more if you cry Louis. You don’t want mom hurt yeah?”

Louis had felt scared that he was infact hurting his mom and he had shaken his head violently.

“No. sir! I don’t want to hurt mommy!”

The doctor had ruffled his hair and hugged Louis lightly before carrying him to his friends and family. Louis smiled as he held the big lollipop in his hands; he really liked this man in the lab coat.

As he sat down heavily on the bench Liam took no time in enveloping Louis in a hug.

“Don’t worry now Lou, Mom told me it’s gonna be fine…” Liam said his brown eyes full for concern for the elder boy.

“Yes, honey… Mom will be just fine!”

 Louis looked up at Mrs. Payne and relaxed a little. After his own mom, Liam’s mom was the one person he loved as much because she had always called Louis her second son just like her mom treated Liam.

After a while his other friends and their moms had come over to check at Louis’ mom and all the boys ran up to Louis to hug him tightly.

“Lou, you are with us and our moms… it’ll be all good.” They said.

Lou had felt his eyes tear up yet again but not because of fear or pain this time but because his friends were with him and the best support one can have.

Next day Johanna had gained consciousness and Louis was finally allowed to see her. She was put on a ventilator and an IV was attached to her from a bag containing blood. He was scared of all these foreign machines and he felt terrified to see all the needles inserted in his precious mom but he recalled what the nice doctor had said to him. He had to be brave for his mom and so he did.

Eventually his mom had gotten better and married another man who loved her and Louis dearly and Louis had decided to take his surname instead. With time he had gotten along in his life and the incident had taken form of a backbench trauma.

But even as he became a part of this happy family he always remembered admired the doctor who had helped him that day. He had learned later on that he was a neuro-specialist there and had tidied Louis as the physician was on leave and because of his experience he had been able to sort Louis out. His actual job was to study brain related ailments like depression, trauma, tumours and help people in need and he had indeed found a place in Louis’ young heart.

That was when he had decided what he wanted to be. He knew a doctor is just what he will be and today as a beginner neuro-specialist himself he felt proud of himself.

All this pondering was put to an end as he almost collided with the huge potted plant that decorated the lobby.

“Jeez Lou, it’s inspection today and you decide to star cast in ‘Zombieland’” Louis muttered to himself.

He picked up his schedule from the reception and smiled at the receptionist.

He had to look at the case of a new patient today and that is why most of the statistics were unknown. He headed to the allotted room and opened the door gently and was surprised at what he saw.

A tall boy was sitting at the edge of a patient’s bed; his long legs could be those of a supermodel, the sunlight streaming in from the window fell on his chocolate curls. His sleeves were rolled up to the elbows and his many tattoos were visible. Just when he was to form some sane words, the boy turned to look at him and Louis was sure his world stopped for a moment. The world for a very long second halted in its tracks and gave Louis the opportunity to live it better. So that he could keep looking at this angel.       


	2. What all Harry Haz.

 

Harry Edward Styles, 18, is new in London, having recently come here from his lovely village of Cheshire, Holmes Chapel. It is a well know abode of greenery and calm. Harry had always enjoyed sitting under his favourite apple tree there and hum his favourite songs. He would smile at the passer byes and plenty of times he could be found dozing off beneath one of the trees with his headphones still attached to his ears.

Harry had always been a very active and naughty child since the beginning but not to forget that he was also a very down to Earth and helpful lad considering that he was the son of Des and Anne Styles, not only the richest family in Holmes Chapel but apparently richest in the size of their hearts and smiles. Harry never had to wait too long for what he wanted but to his credit he was never hugely into overt extravaganza. Yes, he surely loved cars like the next guy but he had waited until college to get his first car. Harry had earned it for himself. He was a charmer and known for his ability to woo girls but that did not make him blush any less when the said girls batted their eyelashes at him.

It could be easily said that Harry had an easy life through and through as he never had to worry about the monetary support from his family but he never neglected his studies or responsibilities something his parents were applauded about. Good upbringing and such. He was always a sharp student and the teachers' pet with his dimpled cheeks. He was the perfect suitor for all the eligible girls in the village but then one day Harry realised something that changed the minds of the people drastically and a major chunk of Harry’s life.

A 15 year old Harry had stood in front of his parents in their study and the silence was so thick that it could be cut by a chainsaw.

"Son, you sure?" Des had asked his son uncertainly.

"Ye-Yeah dad, I am gay. I am quite certain now." Harry had hesitated and sniffled.

Anne had rushed to her sobbing son and enveloped him in a hug.

"It's okay baby! It's no crime! Don't cry over something which is not your fault!"

A second later even Des had joined them and was comforting his son.

"You want to talk about it baby?"

Harry had taken a deep breath and explained it to his dad.

Harry had always been keen about biology and its branches and one day when going through the various study websites to finish his homework he ventured into one too many 'suggested sites' and ended up looking at pictures of couples in compromising positions. No one can fault for being a hormonal teenager and that is why when he felt like wandering into the 'gay' section he did just that.

It took him some minutes to understand that he was majorly turned on by the pictures and not in a kinky 'this-is-hot' way but more of a vicarious 'I-wish-he-was-on-me-instead' way.

He had not even bothered to shut down the system completely and had cut of the power from the CPU. He had taken a long hot shower that day to sort out his feelings and controlled his laboured breath. And while on the subject he had even had wank under the hot water and he had thought of flat chests instead of boobs.

The next day he had Googled a little about this and had found people recounting similar experiences like him. They never wanted to be physical with girls or they always felt just a little too close to their male friends. He was shaking slightly as he shut down his computer that day. Maybe that was why he had said no when Katie had proposed him. All of Holmes Chapel's teenage boys wanted her and here was rejecting the same girl. Maybe that was why he sometimes had wet dreams about the boys in his class. That night when he ended up having another dream he thought maybe he should as well tell his parent. He wasn’t a 100% sure but then there was no other explanation for him.

"It's absolutely okay Harry. You should maybe talk to Zayn too. He would be a better person to talk to." He had a habit of muttering to himself when he felt anxious.

Harry had nodded and left the villa considerably light hearted.

When he knocked on Zayn Malik's door his best friend since forever he wasn't surprised to see Peter sitting there. Peter was Zayn's long time boyfriend and Peter looked at Zayn more than how everybody else looked at him, with love and adoration. Harry had always joked with Zayn how should just use his cheekbones to cut cheese instead of a knife. These along with his beautiful eyelashes and raven black hair made him a local heartthrob.

As soon as Zayn looked at Harry’s face he knew something was terribly wrong with the boy. Zayn had harboured a crush on Harry when he had realised his orientation but at that time Harry was blissfully straight, it took some time but as soon as Zayn met Peter he knew that Peter was just the one for him. It has been two years since Zayn confessed his love for Peter and he had never thought twice about anyone else.

“What’s the matter Haz?” Zayn looked concerned. Harry wasn’t the type to let his smile slip for matters of little importance.

“Zayn… Can I please talk to you alone?” Harry’s voice cracked a bit and Zayn hugged Harry, even without knowing what the news was, he held his best friend and comforted him. Peter walked up to the duo and patted Harry’s head.

“It’ll be okay buddy. You are strong and I know you can get past whatever is troubling you.” Peter said softly.

Zayn looked up at his boyfriend adoringly and he felt his heart swell with pride to have such a wonderful person in life. Harry too smiled back at the elder boy.

As peter left with a peck on Zayn’s lips, Zayn lead Harry to his bedroom and sat them down on the bed.

“Tell me what happened now. You know it’s all okay with me.” Zayn comforted the shivering lad.

“I- I am gay Zayn!” Harry sobbed harder still as he buried his face in his palms. He remembered the day Zayn had come out to him and realised he must have been this scared too.

Zayn couldn’t respond for sometime but then laughed gently and Harry looked up at the boy as if scalded. Here he was having a crisis and Zayn has to laugh?!

“Woah! Keep your pants up princess! It is not a curse or anything. Just a matter of preference. Have you EVER in these two years seen me regret my lifestyle or Peter for that matter?” Zayn asked with a little smile his hands up in mock surrender.

“Bu-but Zayn!! It’s not all okay! The society will give me hell won’t it? You suffered too! I saw that!!” and Harry remembered how he was called names and parents would sometimes steer away their kids from him but Zayn had been strong and had never let such things affect him.

“Haz, I suffered only because I was afraid of being alone. I knew I could get girls to love me but how do I get a guy? I was simply scared of spending my life with no one to share. But see, it always gets sorted! It’ll too for you!” Zayn said placing his hand on Harry’s shoulder.

“Zayn, can you please do me a favour?” Harry asked timidly.

“Yeah, anything for you…” Zayn stated simply.

“You damn sure?” Harry was positively bashful now.

“Can you kiss me please? I just want to make sure.” Harry avoided eye contact with his best friend. He was afraid of what would Zayn say but before he could beat himself up about this he felt Zayn’s soft lips brush against his. Lingering for a while before pressing harder and moving against Harry’s lips. He felt Harry kiss back a little and Zayn separated quickly breathing a little harder than normal.

When you have had a crush on someone for so long, obsessed for so long and then fortune provides with an opportunity to have that person even for a few seconds, you take it. Zayn did that too, his black eyes a little sad and confused but it was all replaced by a worry deep inside for his very best friend who was currently hugging him again and shaking with tears. Zayn knew that Harry might have been his first crush and possibly his first love but now Peter is everything for him and better. He loved him so much and all he had for Harry is just a little more than best friendship. He wouldn’t mess that for the world. So Zayn promised to never talk about these feelings to Harry and thank fully no situation ever arose to make it uncomfortable for the two boys.

It had taken Harry sometime to get used to this change in life but then he realised that it was not really all that different. He still wanted to date, kiss, hug and love, albeit a guy instead of a girl and Harry slowly and surely adjusted to this.

A year later he got an opportunity to pursue his favourite subject, biology as a specific subject and he grabbed hold of that with his dear life. He studied hard for a year and half when he was selected for further experience in this field. He was presented with an internship in the best hospital in all of London but he’ll have to move there.

By this time Zayn and his heart had shattered and the scars were formed permanently as Peter had moved to Australia a month after the day Harry had discovered his sexuality to pursue his career as a musician. They had tried to carry on what they had but it fell apart gradually. Not many can maintain a long distance relationship and it broke Harry’s heart to see that Zayn and Peter succumbed to it. Zayn now maintained a very strict and sombre personality in life, never really going out and never really enjoying himself but Harry knew that it was only because Zayn was more sensitive than normal boys and the failed relationship had taken a lot out of him. It had hurt Harry to to see his friend coming apart like that. He had felt helpless but he knew that Zayn would need time to heal and then he’d meet the perfect guy for him.

As Harry got the opportunity to move to London he convinced Zayn to do the same so that Zayn can too continue with his passion of singing. Zayn had been reluctant but he had agreed eventually. They had moved to London shortly after and he hoped he would fall in love with this place just like he loved his home.

* * *

 

As he held his coffee in a ‘to go’ cup and walked towards the Hospital on the first day of his training he smiled to himself as he took in the London air. It wasn’t entirely clean or noise-free but hey! It’s London and Harry already loved the sights and the colours of the city.

He had reached earlier than usual, Harry was just the type. He would always be before time, open the door for a lady and give his seat to an elderly. As he walked into the hospital; complex he smiled widely at the middle aged lady cleaning the floor.

“Um, Hello! Can you please direct me to the ‘Neurophysiology Department’?” He said his dimples showing with the force of his smile.

“Yes dear, it’s straight from here and to the left at the end of the lobby. Are you one of the new interns?” the lady asked.

“Yes ma’am, I am Harry, Harry Styles.”

“Oh you said ma’am and what a beautiful name for a gorgeous lad! I am Alice, dear.” She smiled.

Harry waved at her and made his way over to the reception of his department to get detailed by his senior.

“Hello! Um, I am the new Intern, Harry Styles; can you please direct me to the place where I should be?” Harry asked the receptionist politely.

The young receptionist seemed transfixed by Harry’s curls and lips and Harry held back a chuckle. After a second or so the receptionist regained her composure and could finally direct him to the room.

“Please wait in the waiting area near the D ward and when the head of the department comes he will instruct you of the proceedings.” Harry took a bow and left but as he walked away he was sure he heard her muttering about cute boys and need of cardio exercises.

Harry admired the Hospital for a while after that roaming about aimlessly. They did not keep sad paintings of say, a solitary flower in a vase or fruits in a bowl. They had paintings of lush gardens and dancing children and Harry realised that he was smiling himself at these bright paintings. Why make a place gloomier than it is?

As he waited in his chair flipping through a magazine he saw a little boy staring at him from the door opposite to him. He smiled at the boy who immediately shrunk back. Harry got up and cautiously made his way inside. He saw the little boy cowering inside his sheets.

“Hey little fella, don’t be scared. I am a friend!” Harry said with a wide smile.

The boy peeked at him and carefully let down the sheets.

“I am Jeremy, I have brain problems my mom has told me.” Jeremy stated in a small voice. He had silky blond hair and his eyes were steel grey, the baby fat still evident on his round cheeks.

“But you look fine to me buddy! You are strong are you not?” Harry said while lifting his both arms and pumping them.

“Heyyy! That’s what Popeye does!” the little boy said excitedly.

Harry laughed out loud “Well I am sure Popeye would be more than happy to have my fabulous hair.” Harry said flipping his hair.

Jeremy pouted a little before adding “Popeye is so much more powerful! He no need your hair!”

“Oh really? So you think that my hair is not good enough?” and Harry was tickling Jeremy without mercy who had now started giggling and tried to defend himself with his tiny hands.

Jeremy poked his tongue at him when the nurse asked him to step out and give the patient some privacy. Being an inquisitive person Harry had stepped into the next room which was empty and had set about to fiddle with the different machines and knobs.

That is when the door had opened and a boy had walked in. Not so much of a boy than a man as he looked to be about 20 or 21.

He wore a white T shirt with red stripes under his lab coat and red trousers folded just a little above his ankles. He wore matching red Toms and his glasses too had red ear-rests. It was obvious what his favourite colour would be. But what caught Harry’s attention were his blue eyes. They seem to have a shine in them which was clear from even behind those glasses. The colour of an ocean after the storm. That pure and serene and mischievous. Harry saw the innocence and how his hair fell on his forehead to reach to touch his eyes; his chestnut hair soft and un-styled. He was a small guy but no one could say he lacked where it mattered. His thighs and bums spoke a very different story even when the lab coat tried in vain to hide them and Harry knew in that instant that he had taken the right decision in coming here.

 


	3. How the Ocean eyes got lost in the emerald ones.

Louis stood outside of the neuro patients’ ward and gaped in wonder at the sight in front of him. The boy was looking at him curiously; his eyes which appeared lime in colour against the sunlight were flitting between Louis’ own eyes waiting for him to say something. His red lips never dropping the smile and hands frozen in the position they were, twisting the knob of oxygen supply.

 

Louis seemed to have frozen over on his own accord. He drank in this boy’s gleeming green eyes and his lovely soft curls fell on his forehead and curled around his ears to touch his soft cheeks. His lips... Oh his lips! Perfectly shaped and tugged at the corner with a ghost of a smile. He wore a crisp white shirt and had put on a thin blue sweater over it. It complimented his milky skin tone well along with those black jeans which he must have sat down to wriggle into.

His expensive looking watch slung lose on his wrist, which lead on to his long and graceful fingers currently hanging mid air over the expensive equipment. He had to be around 18.

Louis jolted out of his reverie as the boy coughed pointedly, his smile transforming into a sly grin.

Louis was thankful to god that he didn't blush. What had come of him? What a shame this pretty boy is a patient here meaning that he must have some type of brain damage or might simply leave Louis with some. Louis took in the attire of this boy and wondered why he was not in the usual hospital robes and where were his relatives?

 

He quickly paced towards the boy and lowered his hand from the knob and held it tight to carry him towards the unoccupied bed.

"You are the new patient yeah? Why are you not out of your clothes yet? Louis chided the new boy. The boy began to say something but Louis cut him.

"Here, this is your bed and you should really stay put you know? Where is your family? Are they filling the forms or something?"

"Chesher" he was grinning and looked amused at the on goings and Louis couldn’t imagine why his sinful lips would be smirking like that.

"Chesher.. Cheshire!! What in the world are they doing there??!" Louis was shocked at the response but decided to ignore it thinking that this boy could very well be a loony.

 "What is your name?" Louis asked politely. Please don't be Edward or George had enough of those Louis thought to himself.

"Harry, I am Harry Edward Styles." he said. He sighed internally at that but then smiled as Harry is a good name, Louis mused.

As Harry extended his hand in a handshake and as Louis shook it he noticed how petit his own hand looked in Harry's. His big hands could surely be handy he thought to himself and blushed as he realised that his mind was wandering in dangerous territory. He quickly took his hand back.

 

"Hey Harry, you should sit down you know? Lie down maybe. You should not stress yourself in your condition." Louis' professionalism kicking in.

Harry laughed merrily and Louis thought that maybe his heart floated away just a little bit with it.

"I am not a patient here you know?" He said in his low gravelly voice and Louis tried and not to shiver as it had been a long time he had heard such a sensual voice in the confines of a silent room.

 Now Louis wasn't new to this department and he knew that the patients would sometimes deny them being a patient at all and pretend to be normal.

As Harry made to get up Louis held him and pushed him down.

"No no no young man. I have heard that plenty times. Patients are deluded mostly and they don't know what they are here for. This is common Okay? Just lie down here."

Louis had seen the patients resist him in the past but he had never seen any patient grin that huge as Harry does with his dimpled cheeks and red lips. Hot damn.

"Listen.. Um?"

"Louis, It's Louis Tomlinson."

"Very French, Louis." Harry said.

"Nope, Yorkshire in Doncaster."

"Ah.. Tea instead of coffee, yeah?"

 

Louis was taken aback momentarily at the fact that Harry knew this personal fact about him. Then it suddenly struck him. Yorkshire. Tea. Pure common sense and he resisted hitting himself with his clipboard.

"What's wrong with you Tomlinson?" he muttered to himself. More like.. What is this gorgeous boy doing to you? You haven’t even met the boy for 5 proper minutes.

When he looked back into Harry's eyes he saw that his head was cocked a little to the left. Was he seemed waiting for an explanation?

"What?" Louis inquired self conscious.

"So you basically just talk to yourself and don't even realise?" Harry chuckled.

"Shut up" Louis muttered earning another chuckle from Harry.

In all of this Louis had forgotten that he was dealing with Harry about his mental capacity.

For the love of God Harry, sit down at least. Louis had both his hands on Harry's shoulder and was pushing him down when Harry lost his balance and stumbled upon the bed taking Louis along with him who ended up with Harry sitting on the bed with both his hand propping him and Louis nose to nose with Harry with both his hands pinning Harry to the bed. In the process of balancing himself Louis had placed a knee on the bed which was now placed in between Harry’s thighs pressing against his crotch.

For about a second both of them could only stare at each other and admire the colour of each other’s eyes and lips but the broken when they heard loud footsteps in the hall and someone barged in through the door. 

“Oi! Am I interrupting anything?” The new arrival guffawed.

Louis scrambled away from Harry and Harry slowly steadied himself with a lazy smile but someone looking closely would have noticed the pink tinge in his cheeks.

“Uh- No. It was an accident really. Uh, hello. You are?” Louis asked the new arrival.

“Niall, I am Niall Horan. I would generally hug ye but that I shall do once you are comfortable with me.” Niall said like it was an acceptable form of introduction and Louis opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish while Harry went on laugh on Louis’ account.

“Um, okay? I am Louis Tomlinson. You may hug me when I am comfortable yes” Louis smiled at the boy who looked to be about Harry’s age.

He had an active squirrel like persona in him. Always excited and happy then the happiest ones were the most hurt inside. He had blue eyes too but a lighter shade, more like the colour of those minty ice creams the kids had nowadays or the sky when the morning is in bloom. He wore casual blue denims over a polo T shirt and converse to pull off his attire.

“Well I am a Doctor here. What is you purpose of visiting?” Louis asked observing that he wore a lab coat too.

“Oh cool! I am an intern! Are you a Doc too?” he asked looking at straight at Harry.

“So what do we have here?” A fourth voice spoke up before Harry could even reply.

They all turned to look at the door and saw a tall man standing there. He had a magnificent quid and the light falling from the lobby into the dark room seemed to bath him in an ethereal glow.

He wore a black work suit and was not more than 30; Harry admired that his hair had the air of careful negligence associated with the men of class who didn’t wish to come across as vain.

He was taller than any of them and he looked like a man comfortable in his own skin. This new arrival was lean and fit and Harry was blatantly checking him out to no one’s notice.

“Good Morning, sir” Louis wished him with a big smile.

“Ah! Good Morning Louis! Brilliant day, yeah?” His eyes crinkled at the corners a little as he smiled widely.

“For those who don’t know me as of yet, I am Dr. Nick Grimshaw, Senior resident of the Neurosciences department.” Nick introduced himself as he looked at each of them.

“Oh! I have heard so much about you! You are a great man! Um, Sir.” Niall added as Louis shot the rambling fanboy a look.

Nick looked unbothered. “It’s okay lads! I don’t wish to be a prick of a boss. Be comfortable around me!” he waved his hand casually dismissing any formality.

Nick then scrutinised Harry and Niall. "You guys are the interns right? I am glad you have met Louis already."

"Yeeeah buddy!" Niall responded.  
  
Louis began to correct Nick that Harry was infact a patient here when Harry nodded in agreement and Louis scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. He looked at Harry in shock and saw him wink at him, the cheeky bastard! He rolled his eyes at the younger lad and looked back at Nick to find him observing Harry closely and the smile died on Louis’ lips.

"Well lads, I hope you have a nice term and that Louis here doesn't regret having you guys in the hospital. Be good!" Nick said in a somewhat serious tone.

"Oh, he won't sir!" Harry said with a completely straight face in response to Nick but one could not miss the naughty gleam in his eyes and apparently Nick noticed it too because he looked at Louis a little curiously after that and Louis having forgotten his sass back home today just looked at the floor. What! The tiles looked magnificent today!

“Put on you lab coat Harry!” Nick said as he exited and waved them all bye. Just as Nick left Niall was up and kicking again. “So we head out this evening? Yeah? Louis, you can tell us about your job here and explain us ours! So this will be so great!”

Louis caught Harry’s eyes and saw him shake his head in amusement. Louis knew Niall will need getting used to but he also knew that they’d all love him.

“Sure Niall, you guys give me your number I’ll call you up and set the plan?” Louis asked.

“Cool!” Niall fed his number in Louis Iphone and bounded his way into the other wards to check on the facilities.

As Louis handed over his phone to Harry, he carefully avoided any physical contact.

Harry fed his number in too and grinned at Louis. “You know it wasn’t that bad having you so desperate to get me off my clothes some 15 minutes back.”

Louis sputtered but caught himself last second. “Oh Harold! I don’t think what’s inside those clothes would be worth my time really.” Louis said saucily.

Harry stared at Louis for two seconds before bursting in laughter. “Oh! So you have given such careful thought to what’s inside eh? Sweet!”

And again Louis dissolved into a slightly red, slightly out of breath mass of flesh. Louis was convinced that the ghosts of people past he must have sassed to death have come back for revenge.

Suddenly a nurse burst in to put an end to their flirting.

“Dr. Tomlinson. Jeremy needs you right now.” She said.

“What about the patient from this room?” Louis asked looking at the file in his hand.  
“He’ll need some time in the test department sir. He’ll be here in 30 minutes.” The nurse said.

Louis nodded and left the room to enter the one beside it and Harry immediately saw the young boy from earlier groaning in pain.

“Oh Louis! Harry! My head hurts! It hurts!” Jeremy had started crying.  
  
Jeremy had been admitted a while back with complains of frequent headaches and usual nausea. Louis had been detailed to him and he had immediately fallen for his boyish charm and lovely smile. The thing is his condition has never picked up from where he had been admitted and Louis had started to think it might be something else now that what was previously diagnosed.

Louis rushed towards him and hugged him first and then given him a small tablet to cure his headache.

“Here, love. This should ease the pain.” Louis was worried about him, his condition was fast deteriorating.

Harry watched on helplessly as Louis hugged and gently rocked the child. Harry was never good with dealing with pain but when he saw how Louis protected Jeremy with a soft smile on his lips he knew Jeremy is in the best hands with Louis.

“So you guys have met?” Louis asked looking at Harry.

“Yeah! I came in here earlier and he said my curls aren’t good enough for Popeye.” Louis laughed at that and Harry joined in. the younger lad was already a fan for his senior. 


	4. A blooming romance and two breaking hearts

“Zayyyyyyyyyyyn” Harry called out into the room as he stepped past the door. He was mildly surprised to see the door left open, this has never happened, Zayn was never ever this careless.   
“Zayn?” He asked cautiously still seeing no sign of him.

As he stepped over the mess of his living room his worry grew for his best friend. Harry was sure he’d have called before going somewhere and most importantly he would have secured the front lock.

As he peered into the kitchen feeling the rising bile in his throat his heart clenched at what he saw. Zayn was frozen at the fridge holding the door open staring into space with tears streaming down his face. It seemed that he had been in this position for some time now seeing the all the swirling white air had disappeared from the fridge.

“Zayn!” Harry heard himself whisper in horror and rushed in to hug Zayn tight. Harry’s long hands enveloping the smaller boy fully and he held him tight into his chest. Zayn clutched the fabric of Harry’s shirt as if it was the only way he could be pulled out of his misery and he sobbed as if broken from inside.     


“Hush.. Hush.. Zayn! You can’t do this to yourself!” Harry whispered with his cheek pressed above Zayn’s ears.

When Zayn didn’t respond, Harry just continued to rock him gently and after a minute or two he felt Zayn relax against his chest. Harry allowed Zayn to pull back a little but he kept his grip on Zayn’s shoulders. Harry pulled back a little to look straight in to his eyes.

“What happened, Zayn? You were much better than this.” Harry was still worried about his best friend but his panic had subsided a little, enough to let him breathe properly.

Zayn’s voice was hoarse when he finally spoke, “I just happened to come across a picture of Peter just after you left and it was terrifying, I kept pondering over us and how it was my fault that I couldn’t hold on to him.” Tears threatened to spill again and Harry knew he had to get his friend to lighten up somehow and like the answer to his prayer something unexpected and brilliant happened.

 Louis sat on his bed deep in thought staring at his best friend and roommate who had just returned from a trip this morning and was browsing though his mails.

 "Liam, you want to go to the club?" Louis asked lost in his thoughts.

"Um.. Yeah.. Sure!" Liam said after a while after a definitive tap on his keyboard.

No response met his declaration so Liam swivelled on his chair to look at Louis.

“Louis?”

Louis started. “Wha-? No, it’s nothing like that. I am just thinking.”

“Well, ob-viously. Look at you all morose! What’s the deal?”

Louis sighed before getting up and moving to his room. “Why can’t you say sad like normal people? Why do you have to use words found only in the Oxford dictionary?” Louis grumbled.

Liam laughed as he got up and hugged his best friend from behind. “Well I did promise your mum that I’ll teach you spoken English of the literary world!” Louis could very well imagine the smirk on his friend’s face.

“Shut up and dress up Li. We’ll be leaving in a while.” Maybe Liam was only imagining it but Louis did sound a tad bit sad.

As Harry hugged Zayn he felt his phone vibrate, ‘Unknown caller’. He almost didn’t pick up given his friend was sobbing lightly on his chest but yet his subconscious told him to take it and he did.

“Hello?”

“Um, Harry?”

Harry was shocked for a moment as the voice thrummed inside of him before a smile brightened his face.

“Louis..” It wasn’t a question; Harry already knew who the caller was. He looked down at the floor and his grin widened impossibly. He has had one proper conversation with him but he had already memorised the light voice.

“Harry, are you too tired?” Louis asked hesitantly.

“Nope! Not at all!” Never for you at least Harry thought but kept to himself. He shook his head at himself. He had just met the boy and he was already turning into this cheesy grinning mess.

“Well, we can hang out in club tonight. Niall, you and me” Me and you... I like the thought. Harry was lost in his own thoughts again which made him miss the next part of the sentence. 

“Okay Harry?”

“Huh! Sorry can you please repeat the last part.? Bad reception here.”

“Yeah, you can bring your friends too, I am bringing someone along.”

Harry paused. No it wasn’t jealousy he was feeling was it? And it can absolutely not be intense anger aimed at whoever was coming with Louis. No, Harry wasn’t an angry person by nature but why was he positively against the concept of meeting this ‘someone’ Louis was going to bring?

Harry had to physically shrug off the mood and he smiled at Zayn who was now sitting beside him still shaken from his day.    
“Um sure, Louis! See you there!” Harry replied as he disconnected the call. He pumped the air like a dork he is and then turned to look at Zayn.

“Z, we are going out right now. Come with me to the club! I have made some friends and I don’t want you to stay home alone.”

“Naw mate. I am just not into this right now.” Zayn said his hand covering his eyes.

“Nope! Any other day Harry Styles would have heard you out but tonight is our night baby! You are so coming!”

With that Harry did a slide and slide dance move and made his way to the washroom.

“It’s idiotic when you take your own full name” Zayn muttered under his breath.

“But it’s sexyyyyyyyy and ya know it!” Harry said in a sing song voice and winked at Zayn before closing the door.

Zayn smiled back at him and got up himself to put on something appropriate. He had an idiot for a best friend but he’d never trade him for the world.

 15 minutes later Harry had already informed a perky Niall about the plan and they were on their way to the club Louis had specified.

As Harry entered the club it wasn’t hard for him to find Louis with the bonus of his own height, he saw Louis sitting with a boy their age and stirring his mock tail lost in thought while the other boy had his hand placed over Louis arm on the table as if urging him to tell him something.

Harry didn’t waste a breath before making his way over to the table and placing his hand gently over Louis shoulder to get his attention.

“We are here Louis.” Harry looked in Louis eyes and said it in a way that made Louis’ breath hitch. Harry smiled as he felt Louis’ reaction rather than saw it. Harry sat down next to Louis and took in the boy’s appearance.

 Next Zayn walked in and sat down next to Harry and the other lad.

“Well, I will introduce then” Louis began.

“Liam, this is Harry, Harry Styles.” Harry felt his smile broaden just by hearing his name come from Louis’ lips. He looked at Liam and saw his kind brown eyes and angelic smile and felt his displeasure with the boy lessen slightly.

“Liam Payne here is my child-hood best friend and my flatmate also a literature major in the Uni. He is a year younger to me but he is as good as my dad really.” Louis joked which earned him light punch from Liam.

“So he isn’t your daddy is he?” Niall said as he sat himself down in between Liam and Harry. Zayn smiled when he saw the blush on Liam’s cheeks.

“Hey! Louis, Liam, this is Zayn Malik. My best friend and flatmate.” Liam and Louis chuckled while Niall flung himself at Zayn and hugged the very surprised boy.

“You are beautiful, Zayn. Did anyone tell you?” Niall said as if compliments like these were common from his lips and now it was Zayn’s turn to stutter and blush.

“He is actually an aspiring singer but he is also-” Harry was cut off by a loud scream from Niall.

“Lads!! Let’s take shots!” Niall exclaimed as he got up to make his way to the bar.

“Well, watch closely fellas or you might miss the blur lines after out our leprechaun.” Louis said poking fun.

“Not even funny Louis!”

“But everybody else is laughing.” Louis said grinning wide.

As he saw the blush on Zayn’s cheeks subside and observed that Liam’s eyes strayed on to Zayn far too many times to be a co-incidence, he felt his mood lighten as he felt Harry sitting beside him and leaning in a little on him with his hand casually thrown across the back of his chair.

After a little chit chat they all ordered something to drink. But Louis insisted on Harry, Niall and himself taking something non-alcoholic this time as they had duty the next day and he’d never compromise on his duties towards his patients for a drink.

Harry nodded admiringly as he listened to Louis explanation while Liam and Zayn went for vodka shots. Louis looked at the retreating form of his best friend and smirked into his mocktail. Liam was definitely hitting on this Greek God of a man!

Louis admired the change in attire in Harry. He now wore a Metallica T-shirt with the same black skinny jeans from earlier. He had also used some musky cologne which made Louis’ head swim a little with want and need.

When Louis and Harry got into talking Harry couldn’t help but notice the fact that even when they were in a club, Louis never left his personality. No throwing caution to the winds and no letting go of himself. Louis seemed to be controlling himself and harry wondered why. Louis had played it down and gone for a plain red T-shirt with black jacket and cream coloured trousers.

He looked like a little boy sitting at a restaurant with his parents and those glasses on his cute nose fascinated Harry. He wanted nothing better than to take them off and get close to him and hold his head as he tilted his neck for better access… simply put Harry thought Louis looked just about edible.

“Harry?”  Louis was staring at him his face concerned and a little flushed.

“Um.. *cough* yeah? I am sorry I zoned out.” Harry cleared his throat and sat up straighter removing his hand from the back of Louis’ chair.

He was surprised to see that Liam and Zayn had made their way back while Harry was lost to the world

“Well, Louis was asking you about what to do next and you were just…” Liam looked at Louis to gauge his reaction when he said “staring at Louis here.”

Liam smiled a little as he saw Louis shift in his seat uncomfortably and turn to look at Zayn instead.

“Um, Zayn, so you tell us more about you? Aspiring singer! That is brilliant!” Louis said with too much enthusiasm.

“Yeah, nothing major. I am yet to give it my all and Harry here has really pumped me up for the job all I know is that I will make a career out of it.” Zayn’s eyes lit up as he talked about his dream job and Harry’s eyes softened as he looked at Zayn, who seemed to have relaxed now as compared to the morning.

Niall being bored of the conversations got up and made his way over to the dance floor and Irish jigs got the girls tittering and batting their eyelashes at the boy who drank in all the attention.

“Look at Niall there, hogging all the attention. I think we must go over and sort this!” Harry said jovially making a move to get up.

“No, why don’t we just head out for fresh air?” Louis said in a hurry. Usually he’d never really miss a chance to go on the dance floor and show some good ‘ol Tommo moves but he didn’t want pressed up against him lest he does something to embarrass himself.

Harry looked down and saw Louis hand on Harry’s forearm stopping him from going on the dance floor. They looked adorable and tiny as compared to Harry’s long arms. Louis followed Harry’s gaze and hurriedly removed his hand.

“Yeah, why not?” Harry said.

Liam, Zayn, Harry and Louis went out of the club to the park nearby having signalled Niall that they’d be back later and Louis was pleased with his decision. It was a cool night and the various flower shrubs had imparted the air with a sweet aroma. Louis inhaled deeply and threw back his head in the cold air savouring the night.

“It’s a beautiful evening.” Zayn stated admiring the clear dark sky which was sprinkled with the stars.

“Yeah, very.” And the way Liam said it made Louis immediately look at his best friend.

Liam was looking at Zayn like he had hung the said stars and even the mood and the other planets while Zayn was oblivious to the attention as his face glowing in the light of the nearby lamp. Louis knew Liam enough to know that he was definitely interested in Zayn and Louis felt mildly anxious about this.

He knew Liam was gay but what about Zayn? He could ask Harry maybe but what would he think? Liam had never had the fortune to have a serious boyfriend. Not because Liam wasn’t interested but because Liam was always so involved and so much in love that it had scared his previous boyfriends off but what Louis admired in him the most is that he never gave up on love. Never once did he lose hope, he always smiled and told Louis that his prince is not too far. And looking at Liam gazing at Zayn he could only hope that he had finally found his prince. This made Louis sad, mostly because nobody can know what Louis was going through on a daily basis.

“They would be perfect together, don’t you think?” Harry stepped close to Louis and whispered into his ears. Louis jumped violently and clutched his heart in surprise.

“Phew! Wow! Yeah. I-I do think so. Liam is perfect in every way a guy could be and any guy would be lucky to have him.”

“Then why didn’t you try Louis? Why didn’t you fall for Liam?” Harry asked feigning nonchalance when his insides were in fact getting tied up in knots, scared for what Louis will say.

Louis didn’t even look up to meet the green eyes when he replied “It’s because I am straight Harry.”


	5. Harry Styles doen't give up that easy.

Niall hitched a ride with Harry as he found out later that his house was close to Harry’s.

“Something the matter, mate?” Niall asked Harry who was very silent.

“No, why should it be?” Harry’s voice cracked towards the end but he passed it off with a cough hoping Niall didn’t notice. He was also purposefully avoiding Zayn’s eye contact as he knew that Zayn would probably figure out something is the matter. He wore sunglasses for extra safety. Niall was sprawled at the back of the car clearly tired from all the dancing and the drinks.

“Harry… you sure?” Zayn asked tentatively.

“Yeah, Zayn! Hey! You tell me buddy, what is up with you and Liam, eh?” Harry grinned at Zayn desperately trying to steer the topic towards safer waters.

“Wasn’t it lovely what happened between these two?” Niall added excited now, sleep forgotten.

Zayn just rolled his eyes and glared at Harry, “Don’t Harry. I know you mean well and all but I’m over all this.” Zayn said with a huff.

Niall raised his eyebrows at Harry and he just mouthed “Long story… Later.”

And this got Harry just what he wanted, a silent car ride to their apartment and where he can sleep and tend to his aching heart. There was delicate heart behind his cocky and carefree demeanour and even if he has known Louis for just a day now it hurt Harry that the golden boy can never be his.

They dropped Niall and proceeded to their apartment close by, as soon as Harry had secured the lock he turned to find a frowning Zayn blocking his way.

“It was a low blow about Liam there Harry, I know you don’t wish to talk about something but that was plain mean.” Zayn looked hurt as he made his way to his room.

“Hey! Hey! Hey Zayn! Listen to me… I really do believe that Liam is the perfect guy for you, not only me Louis thinks that too.” Harry had grabbed Zayn’s elbow to stop him.

“I think Zayn is perfect for you Liam!” Louis emphasised.

“Oh, don’t whine like a little girl Louis, it’s nothing of the sort.” Liam shrugged and went to open the fridge to check for any leftovers.

“Don’t you give me that tone, Payne! I am not a five year old!” Louis pouted.

“Then don’t behave like one, Lou.” Liam chided using his most mature voice.

“Don’t even! You looked at him like you could lick him from head to toe!” Louis made a wild gesture with his hands and leaned in to take a look at Liam’s face which was buried inside the fridge and he got a glimpse Liam’s wide grin.

“You are grinning you idiot! You have met the boy just once Liam James Payne. Some control please!” Louis rolled his eyes at Liam but ruined the effect by giggling at the end.

“Husssh.. Do you want to wake the entire neighbourhood?” Liam scolded while blushing faintly.

“YES!” Louis pumped the air in victory.

* * *

 

 Zayn looked at Harry’s hand holding his elbow before looking up to meet his eyes.

“I don’t think I have the energy to fall in love again, Harry. I’ll mess it up again.” Harry could see the pain and terror back in Zayn’s eyes and he lost the grin from his face.

“You won’t have to if you don’t want Zayn. I promise you. Que sera sera! Besides he’d be lucky to have you that brown eyed lovely puppy of a man.” Harry said and Zayn replied with a ‘Heyy!’ unable to quite meet Harry’s eyes while he smiled to the ground. Zayn knew that even if falling in love with someone was not an option, he had Harry as his best friend forever.

“Never mind Lou, tell me what did you say to Harry to make him that upset?” Liam asked Louis, his blush now fading a little.

The smile fell from Louis lips as he recalled the look on Harry’s face when he had dropped the bomb on the poor boy.

He didn’t want to hurt Harry. If anything he had a soft spot for him and it scared him more that any horror movie could.

“Liam, I think Harry is.. um.. well… likes me and I… I told him I am straight.” Louis stuttered avoiding Liam’s eyes; he knew that Liam must be frowning.

Liam had closed the door of the refrigerator and was glaring at Louis. “You did not just-”

“No Li please. You know I don’t like to talk about who I like and who I don’t. I don’t wish to discuss this any further.” And Louis rushed inside his room.

“Like always Louis…” Liam whispered under his breath.

Louis hated being rude to Liam but that was the only way to keep him from prodding especially when Louis knew that Liam would be right and he’d be making futile arguments about his love life.

* * *

 

Zayn made a move to his door but stopped suddenly and turned to look at Harry “Haz, nobody wears a sunglass in the night. I know you were shielding your eyes. I hope that whatever is hurting you stops soon.”  Zayn kissed Harry on the forehead before closing the door to his room and left Harry to gape at the door. He was touched by Zayn’s affection for him. The boy had always taken care of Harry but Harry didn’t want to talk about Louis yet, he wasn’t quite ready. He went over to the kitchen to drink some water and decided to splash some on his face for good measure.

“You have barely met him Harry, calm down.” Harry muttered to himself. But he had been so sure that he had an effect on Louis, how was it possible then that Louis was straight, he was so perfect… the glasses on his little nose, his smile and most of all his eyes. Harry splashed some more water on his face as he headed to his room and prayed for sleep to come and his dreams to be devoid of thin pink lips and blue eyes.

* * *

The next day he dreaded going to the hospital but he could not let one incident make him stay away from his patients and so he grudgingly made his way out of his room.

‘Oomph’ Louis had collided with Liam who was rushing around fixing the room. He didn’t even look at Louis before walking away from him.

“Liiiiiiii, please don’t ignore me!” Louis whined for real this time.

“Please Lou, I am in no mood to talk to you. All I have ever wanted for you is that you talk to me or your mom but you don’t! Why should I talk to you now?” Liam argued.

“I want to talk to her, Liam but please leave it be for once!” Louis was quickly getting back his earlier temper and he wished to avoid that so early in the morning.

Liam glared his best friend for 5 seconds before sighing in resignation and placing their breakfast on the table.  

They ate in relative silence and just talked about the weather in general. Louis was well aware that someday he’ll have to discuss his issues and love life in detail but he wanted to delay it as much as possible.

“Harry… Harry!” Zayn was shaking Harry violently and Harry woke up with a start. He was drenched in sweat and his bed looked as if a storm had rocked it.

“Um… Bad dream Zayn. I am Okay.” Harry said trying to be convincing.

Zayn pursed his lips in worry but decided to overlook the matter.

“Okay, come on, breakfast is ready!” Zayn clapped his hands in joy and got up from Harry’ bed.

Harry gaped as in all of their friendship Zayn had cooked for them a very precious few times.

“It’s rare you do that Zaynie, you happy, eh?” Harry said wriggling his eyebrow at Zayn suggestively.

Zayn groaned as he turned at the doorway. “Not this early in the morning Harry! Get your ass up and get ready.” Zayn chided.

“But what did I do Z man?” Harry asked the laughter clear in his voice.

“Nope. Not falling for you get-Zayn-to confess-his-love-for-Liam this early.” Zayn said flipping the omelette he was preparing he turned when Harry cackled behind him.

“Loooove! Zaynie said louuuuve!!” Harry sang around the room and Zayn shook his head fondly before throwing the ladle towards Harryw ho caught it neatly.

“Hey Zayn, listen.” Harry asked.

“Mmm Harry?”

“On a scale of 1 to Tyler Oakley how gay do you think Louis is?” Harry said pouring orange juice from the carton. Getting no response he looked up at Zayn who was gaping at Harry openly from across the table.

“Eeks! I can see the food Zayn! Shut it!” Harry said covering his eyes.

“Why the fuck do you ask? Are you…”  
“Ah hell naw! I want to recommend Hannah for him!” Harry said looking affronted. Zayn glared at him before judging it alright.

“Oh.. Um.. alright. Well, I would say don’t go for that because Louis is an 8 at least.” Zayn said focusing back on his bacon.

“That gay huh? Well…” Harry mused.

“So it’s off the table then?”

“Mmm, what?” Harry said distracted.

“Hannah?”

“Oh that! Yep! Now that you say it I think you might be right.”

“Anyhoo, I am heading out, I will be back in the evening!” Zayn said as he deposited the plate in the sink. He then collected his wallet and fixed his quiff.

“Nice day at the Hospital, Haz!”

“Say hi to Liam from me!” Harry chuckled as Zayn snuck in a middle finger at him before shutting the door completely.

In all his life if he has ever trusted anyone’s opinion, it has been Zayn’s and if Zayn says Louis is gay then there would be a reason for Louis to be hiding it.   

Harry smiled as he processed how easily he had given up on Louis, he obviously needs to work harder to get his boy.

“I will get you to crack Louis Tomlinson and crack like a glass you will.” Harry mentally high fived himself and went about to get dressed with a new vigour.


	6. Advances over setbacks

Harry Styles was the type who would cheer up and tear up at the littlest of things and this was this particular nature in him that added the extra bounce to his feet whenever he is happy. Zayn has said that Louis wasn’t as straight as he pretended to be and Harry was holding onto that.

Harry made extra effort in dressing up today; he wore his favourite cream coloured V-neck that complimented his delectable neckline and long torso. He wore it with his black trousers that complimented him in all the right places. The sweater fell just above his hips which he has been told time and again are utterly _spankable_.

He never did this usually but today he applied a generous amount of his chapstick making his lips look redder and fuller. He had washed his hair but foregone styling it as he knew it would be a futile attempt, he simply went for his signature look, he ruffled his hair vigorously with both his hands and swept them to a side. The natural and cute look has always been an area of compliment for him.

As he entered the Hospital he grinned broadly at Alice and waved at the other passing interns and doctors. He was definitely on a high today, possibly to hide the undercurrent sadness.

He went straight for the Neuro-ward and pushed open the door with both his hands smiling as he saw the back of a man around same height as Louis but as he approached him he was disappointed to find that he wasn’t Louis. His hair stood in spikes and his eyes weren’t as beautiful.

“Um, Hey. I am sorry I was looking for Louis Tomlinson?” Harry explained.

The other boy smiled genuinely, “You must be one of the new lads here, haven’t seen you around! I am Stan, Stan Lucas.” He said shaking hands with Harry.

“Hello, I am Harry Styles. Yes, I am the new intern.” At this precise moment Louis entered through the door immersed in his clipboard.

“Stan, What are the stats today-” He stopped short as he saw Harry in the room and his eyes very obviously trailed on his neckline.

“Hey Harry.” Louis said softly but looked away from him to look at Stan instead who raised as eyebrow at Louis.

“So, you guys have been introduced yeah? Niall will be here too at any moment, he came in with me.”

“Why did you have to come with him?” Harry interjected curious.

“Well, he doesn’t live too far from my place and he said he had access to a car today as his flatmate doesn’t need it, so I took the ride.” Louis shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal.

“I don’t live too far off either. Just so you know.” Harry felt annoyed for no reason at all. He knew that Louis had the right to hike a ride from anyone but it should have been him. Harry lived near to Niall too.

“Thank you, Harry.” Louis genuinely smiled at Harry pleased at his thoughtfulness and Harry’s pout melted away just like that. Any person can tell him the amount of influence Louis has on him this quick is not Okay. Jeez!

It was about 10 seconds after that Niall stumbled into the room having skid across the floor length grinning like it was something he could maybe display in the Olympics. He hugged Louis and then hugged Harry who held onto him and even lifted him off his feet.

“Niall! It’s a hospital! Manners!” Louis chided softly. It was hard to believe that Niall was really an adult as he oftentimes behaved like a ten year old and probably that was the charm of the Irishman.

Later the four of them left the room as it had become very crowded and divided their duties.

“Well one of you will be with me and the other will work with Stan here” Louis explained to the two interns.

“I will be with you.” Harry said looking straight into Louis’ eyes. Louis seemed to lose a breath as he wrote Harry’s name alongside of his on his clipboard.

“Well.. so Niall with Stan, yeah?” Louis asked and Niall nodded, he got along perfectly with anyone and everyone, he was happy to make a new friend any day.

As soon as Stan and Niall were out of earshot Louis turned to look at Harry from over his shoulder. You look good today Harry, something special intern?

Harry was surprised to receive the compliment, he was thinking maybe Louis would be avoiding him but here he was… complimenting him. “Why thank you, Louis. Maybe you’d find better reasons to get me out of my clothes today!” Harry teased Louis who pinched his waist before rolling his eyes at him.

Harry could have sworn that he saw Louis hide a grin.

 What was happening to Louis? As he walked into the room and his eyes fell upon Harry all he could focus in the entire room was just Harry. How he stood so tall in his creamy sweater flowing flawlessly over his milky skin and that neckline… Oh! The neckline in stark contrast to his red lips, they weren’t this red yesterday or were they? He would love to place his own against them and bite that soft skin.

He wasn’t supposed to compliment him to give him the wrong vibes but then why did it stumble out of his mouth and why was he grinning when he heard Harry falter? These questions will be written on his grave apparently.     

Louis groaned softly. This was just your second day with him Louis. Don’t be such a teenager about this!

“Did you say something?” Harry asked leaning in.

He cleared his throat, “What? Nothing… nothing.” Louis said focusing on the file in hand.

A silence settled in between them as they walked through the corridor. “Say, Harry, what is your experience in this field? Do you love working in this department?” Louis asked eventually.

Harry’s face glowed instantly, “I absolutely love making people feel better, specially children although not much of an experience no.. But I have been to the local research labs and stuff and got my background information from there. I was extremely keen about coming here and I can’t be happier that I came.” Harry rattled on.

Louis wasn’t looking at harry but he was sure Harry somehow was referring to him when he said the last line. Louis was happy professionally though that an enthusiastic person was here. It was never too much energy when you are aiming to treat ailments on a huge scale.

“Hey Louis, how is Jeremy? He wasn’t well yesterday.” Harry asked as they neared the D ward.

“Yeah, we’ll be checking him now.” Louis pushed open the door to Jeremy’s ward with a huge smile on his face.

“Jer! My lovely boy! How are you?” he said cheerfully.

“Looooiiiiiiis! Haaaryyyyyy” Jeremy drew out the names and both Harry and Louis laughed.

“How is my bravest soldier and his headache?” Louis asked ruffling his blond hair.

“Well, the brave soldier did have them again last night but I-oops.. He was so brave that the headache left him! Scared you see.” And Louis nodded his head knowingly.

“Yeah… nothing stands up to the brave soldier! The headache knows what good for him” Louis said acting along.

“No! Because otherwise I would hit him like this!” and he punched Louis which was soft on him but Louis pretended to be seriously hurt for the child’s sake.

“Ouch! Oh my god that hurts! I bow down to you soldier. You are a fine man!” and Jeremy’s chest puffed out at the compliment.

Harry hadn’t spoken this whole time; he just stood there smiling like a fool. “You look great you know Harry?” Jeremy said holding Harry’s hand who tore his eyes away from Louis to look at the little boy.

He sat down at the edge of his bed. “Thank you, love, Louis here told said the same.”

“Oh, Louis here is the best you know… when he compliments you, you better believe it, yeah?” and Jeremy said it with such a serious expression that the other two boys erupted in laughter.

“Thank you Jer, You are brilliant yourself. I rather like the compliment coming from you.” Harry smiled down at the boy.

Jeremy brightened visibly and he hugged Harry close.

Louis looked over the whole thing and his heart melted at the sight. Finally a great intern, Harry was perfect.

After attending to some more children and adults Louis and Harry settled into a comfortable rhythm with each other, no awkward glances or subtle smiles. It was all open and natural.

At least Harry was, Louis on the other hand was still worried about everything and discomforted with the loss of his peace of mind. Before Harry came along he was perfectly happy working alongside Stan with no care in the world apart from tending to his patients but he was having these pangs and jolts when he looked at Harry and he wasn’t a least bit happy.

* * *

 

Later in the day, all of them met in the cafeteria for lunch and they saw Niall and Stan chatting away to glory, they had become good friends already.

Louis was burning with hunger by this time and was ready ravish any food that was provided when Niall said something to ruin his entire appetite.

“Hey Harry, I forgot to ask before, are you better now?” Niall asked.

Harry fidgeted in his seat stealing a glance at Louis. “Um, nothing was even wrong Niall.”

“Don’t even dare! Even I noticed those sunglasses in the night, you were clearly upset. What about?” Niall pressured and Harry felt irritated.

“Niall, really. It was nothing, drop it. I just like my shades is all.”

Niall observed Harry for another 3 seconds before shrugging and dropping his gaze and Harry breathed in relief.

“So, what are we gonna eat?” Niall asked rubbing his palms together.

“I don’t want to eat really” Louis mumbled which made Harry look at him with concern.

“You haven’t eaten anything all day. Are you well?” Harry asked his eyebrows creased.

“Yeah, It’s okay Harry. I will eat later on.” He smiled in an effort to show that he was infact feeling just fine.

He had thought Harry wouldn’t care so much about Louis’ sexuality but if what Niall said was anything to go by Harry was clearly affected last night and that did nothing to solve Louis’ troubles.

Suddenly the AC system died down in the cafeteria leaving the room a little suffocating as there was no natural air flowing in here. After about 5 minutes if became stuffier as compared to it was earlier but nothing unmanageable but Harry took it in his stride and innovated his plan.

“Phew, I feel hella suffocated!” Harry announced before proceeding to fan himself with his clipboard and with the other hand he pinched his V-neck and fanned his face with it in the process cleverly revealing the wide expanse of his chest.

He saw to his satisfaction that Louis’ eyes widened for a second before he averted his gaze, Harry knew he had seen his tattoos, the swallows. They were his pride and joy but also a ploy to reel in Louis Tomlinson.

If Louis was feeling a little warm so far right now he was definitely feeling hot around the collar and a blush was creeping up his cheeks he could feel it. He coughed lightly and made a move to get up; he desperately needed to keep some safe distance from Harry.

“Erm- I will leave then.” Louis said as he pushed back his chair.

“Oh please don’t leave on my account!” a voice called from behind him and everyone focused on the new voice.

“Sir!” All four of them got up to wish Nick as he walked into the cafeteria.

“Good Afternoon!” He smiled pleasantly with his hand on Harry’s shoulder.

“I didn’t get to meet you last evening, how was your day both of you?” he asked looking at Harry and Niall.

As both the boys gushed about their respective days and their partners Louis couldn’t help but notice that Nick’s hand never left Harry’s shoulder, now it was none of his business but he would rather have Nick’s hand on the table surface, thank you very much.

Soon after Nick walked off to get his lunch and Louis ushered all of them away for their duties.

“Patients waiting! No time for fun!” Louis ushered them out of the cafeteria but this only served to increase the guilt in his stomach and he had no clue what to do about it.

* * *

Later that evening when the boys were finished with their shifts, they stepped into the parking lot and Niall and Harry craned their necks in search of their respective cars.

“Okay, catch you later then lads!” Louis waved and made to move to get a bus but was promptly interrupted by Harry.  

“Hey! I will drop you… if-if you want.” Harry looked at Louis expectantly, his green eyes full of hope, almost fearing that Louis will refuse.

“Okay” Louis smiled because of course he would.

Louis was sure that things weren’t going like anything he was planning to. He was finding it impossible to say no to this boy and he didn’t like it one bit. He hated that every time an opportunity presented itself Louis almost jumped at it.

As he rode with Harry to his place he loved how the breeze lifted Harry’s curls and tangled into each other. How his V-neck billowed out slightly as the air rushed in and the pretty smile on his face as he hummed to the song playing on the radio. Louis had never heard this song and calling Harry a hippie was just natural.

“It’s you car Harry?” Louis asked admiring the interiors of the Mercedes.

“Um, yeah. She’s lovely isn’t she?” and Louis cocked his eyebrow at Harry but then smiled at the fact that Harry was one of those guys who probably loved their car more than their girlfriend and this somehow made Harry more innocent and childlike to Louis.

“She’s definitely beautiful.” Louis grinned patting the dashboard which made Harry beam.

That day as he sat down with Liam for dinner and chatted ideally he was happy that the argument from the morning did not resurface. Maybe he won’t need it. Harry would not pose to be that much of a trouble in his life. He can manage yeah? He sent a silent prayer to the skies that he doesn’t mess things for himself and Harry but then maybe the almighty does have a little flair for the chaotic like Louis would later find out.


	7. The sunset and the sunshine

It’s been two weeks that Louis has degraded into a wondering fretting mess regarding Harry. How can the boy be so into Louis and be happy about it? Why did he feel that Harry was constantly hitting on him and not thinking much of it considering Louis had made himself clear that he is infact a straight person? A hundred and ten percent straight at that. 

Another thing which was gnawing at Louis is Nick interest in Harry. Every time Louis made an excuse to escape Harry’s presence he’d find Nick making his way over to them and every time he’d decide to stay instead just to keep a watch over them.

Keep a watch why? He didn’t know. He also didn’t know what was so special about Nick to warrant Harry’s smile. He was a normal man. Harry should know better than to smile at anyone. Nope, Louis was not obsessing. Straight men just don’t obsess over hot plus cute plus sexy males. Especially how it should be illegal for them to be smiling on men much older to them.

He sighed while he sat near the brook which ran through a small patch of vegetation he had found, a place where he would escape to stare at his reflection in the clear water and think about stuff. He was suddenly jerked back to his senses when someone placed an uncertain yet soft hand on his shoulder.

“Hey mate! Never knew you came here.”  
Louis looked over his shoulder at Zayn; his face in the shadows as the sun was just behind him, and Louis was surprised that people did came here.

“Hey Zayn! You come here often?” Louis asked squinting as the Sun fell on his eyes.

Zayn sat down with Louis to play with the water with his fingers. “Yeah, I found this a month after we came here. Zayn looked at Louis to gauze his reaction.

“I am happy here… it is alone and the sound of the stream is hypnotic. It’s like an escape.” Zayn smiled sadly as he looked at the depth of the stream and let his fingers be carried by the water.

“What are you running away from, Zayn?” Louis asked on a reflex because he really did want to know. There was an air of mystery surrounding Zayn Malik and he was always a little curious about people.

Maybe his career as a Neuro-specialist has made him fond of psychology too.

Maybe it was the setting sun or that the stream had already lulled him into an open relaxed place Zayn didn’t think before whispering his reply.

“Love.” He said his voice sad and his eyes were far off and Louis could feel the pain even when he could not look straight into Zayn’s eyes.

Louis closed his eyes and leaned back to prop himself on both his hands and to face the reddening sky “You know mate; sometimes having no one to love is great. It’s just less of pressure and less of duties and a lot less of breaking heart. It’s just one less thing you will ruin for yourself and one less thing which would make you regret your life.” Louis said.

He didn’t notice that Zayn’s eyes were a little wet when he had finished his monologue, emotions pouring out like the water from the crevices of the rock.

“You are escaping love too, Louis?” Zayn asked and Louis looked at Zayn who now sitting with his knees up against his chest and he looked delicate in the now fading light, he looked like someone who had lost something of his essence and maybe.. Maybe he himself looked the same at the moment.

“Yes, Zayn. You and me both.” Louis said haltingly not quite meeting Zayn’s gaze. He didn’t know why he was confessing all of this to Zayn but he felt like doing it and for once he wanted to follow through with what he wanted instead of holding back.

“I am just afraid that I’ll love a guy and he’d just not find me enough you know? He’ll leave me to fend for myself, broken like before.” Zayn said and Louis felt a weight lift off his heart because Zayn had just confessed to being gay. ‘Him’ he had said, atleast Liam had a chance now.

Louis picked up pebbles from around his feet and started making random patterns with them and he was speaking before he could give a conscious thought. “Hey, I know a lot of people might have already tried to make some meaning of the next words I am going to say but I am still going to say and mean it anyway. What I believe is that a person is never wholly insufficient or too much for anyone, it is just how some of your faults are made up by him and his short comings are taken care of by you. There is this stupid concept that there is one single perfect puzzle piece out there, like one perfect person but in reality there can be this different puzzle piece which might not look exactly the same but fit you better! You should just wait for that person to come along and then you should build this whole perfect picture with him and then there is never a turning back is it? I know you might have found a fitting puzzle piece in the past but then the one which is meant to be is still out there somewhere. ” Louis sweeps his stretched arm in front of him and paints this metaphorical picture and while Zayn gazes at it fondly, he realises that he misses the feeling of loving someone, even when the hurt colours his feelings he would still want ‘the perfect puzzle piece.’

“Louis, you know what?” Zayn asks a faint smile tugging his lips.

“Hmm?”

“These are not the words of a man who is afraid to fall in love but a one who wants to but can’t.” Zayn says adding pebbles to complete the patter Louis was making earlier. 

Louis was speechless but thankfully Zayn wasn’t even looking for an answer.

“You have the potential to be a great friend and lover Louis. All I can say is that I am glad Harry is with you.” Zayn said and Louis’ eyes widened and he sat up straighter coughing lightly to clear his throat.

“He talks so much about you that I am sure you are good friends by now.” Zayn looked innocent as he said that and Louis relaxed visibly.

“Yes, we definitely are.” Louis said thinking about the curly boy’s open smile.

“Harry has a habit of trusting people too much, but he certainly made no wrong choice when it comes to you.”Zayn said as he placed his hand on Louis’ shoulder.

“And he absolutely did not make a wrong choice in you Zayn.” Louis said sincerely.

Zayn smiled broadly at him before getting up and brushing the grass off his pants.

“It’s getting late, I need to get home and cook. It was really nice meeting you mate.” Zayn said.

“Come over to our place sometime Zayn. Meet Liam too?” Louis asked the last sentence with a slight wink and Zayn understood what he meant because Harry had mentioned that Louis had recommended Liam and Harry. If Zayn had blushed furiously Louis was a gentleman to not comment.

Later that day as Louis walked into his own apartment; he went up to Liam and hugged him close. He buried his head in the crook of his neck and stayed there for a while and Liam didn’t question it and just held him tight.

He stroked his hair and rocked him gently. After a minute or two he finally spoke “What is wrong Lou?”

“It’s just me Li. I am the only thing that hurts me and it hurts too much now.” Louis’ voice was muffled by Liam’s shirt but Liam heard it just right.

“If you are hurting yourself to save someone you love then it should be bearable.” Liam said while Louis shook his head to state no.

“If it’s not bearable then you should stop Lou, stop holding back and hurting yourself.”

Louis did not react for a while before shaking his head again lightly.

“I won’t hurt my mom Li.” And Liam knew better than to argue against that.

The next day Harry was in a good mood, he wore a crisp white shirt and wore another red layer on it. He let his hair drop gently over his forehead to sweep to his ear. It was a sunny day today and Harry felt unnaturally light on his feet. He wouldn’t even deny today if anyone asked whether he had put on Britney Spears on in IPod today to dance all around his room.  He skidded out of his room with a gesture of grandeur and hugged Zayn from his waist and tickled him. He tackled Zayn and tipped him low when he turned to protest and soundly kissed his cheek. Zayn was laughing out loud and he had to place his hand on Harry’s shoulder to steady himself.

“DUUUUDE!! Vas Happenin??” Zayn said with a chuckle.

“I am just happy today my Zaynie boy! No reason! Nope Nada!! NOOO!!!” Harry said.  
“Well, cook for me then today.” Zayn poked him with the ladle he was holding.

“No my loyal servant! That arrangement is for always and forever! You will cook for me till eternity!” Harry announced as if a declaration in the royal court.

“I accept your highness! Unless of course your husband would like to do it for you.” Zayn said with a smirk.

Harry couldn’t miss the sad tilt in his voice and went in to hug him again.

“I would still have you cook for us Zayn. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I will never… fucking never let you go.” Harry said sincerely.

“Oh cut it! I might just get tired ya know! I have to make food for my husband and all!” Zayn said stepping towards the pan on the stove.

“Oh no wayyyy! Liam wouldn’t keep you just for himself, he isn’t the possessive kind!” Harry laughed loudly as Zayn aimed a spoon towards Harry’s face.

“Don’t blush now Z!! Awwww!”

“Get the hell out Harry!” Zayn screamed and Harry weaved in and hugged Zayn tight again before picking up the lunch and his bag.

On the Hospital steps as he took two steps at a time he collided with Nick on the stairs.

“Woah! Sorry Nick! I wasn’t looking sorry.” Harry apologised.

“Ah no worry, Harry! You look happy today!” Nick patted his shoulder and kept it there for two seconds longer than strictly necessary.

“Thank you! Well, I’ll be on my way then! I will catch you at lunch?”  Harry beamed back at him, he really liked Nick.

Louis was taking Jeremy’s temperature not quite chatting with him like he generally did.

“What is wrong Louis? I did something wrong?” Jeremy asked Louis timidly.

“Heyyyyy.. That is not it, Jer.” Louis said softly as he sat down with him.

“I am just generally off you know?” Louis said tiredly.

“Did Harry do something?” Jeremy asked and Louis was suddenly very aware of the heat in his cheeks.

“Um, why should that be the case, Jer?” Louis asked.

“You always act a little differently around him you know? Are you ignoring him?” Jeremy asked innocently.

“Hush, Jer! Don’t let him hear this or otherwise he’ll think we’re talking about him behind his back!”

And on cue Harry walked into the room and for Louis it was a little piece of sunshine had decided to grace his sad world.

“Whose back are we talking about, peasants?” Harry asked with a shit eating grin.

“That you look really handsome today, Harry!” Jeremy chirped.

“Are you lying young man?” Harry asked playfully.

“No!!” Jeremy said forcefully.

“You do Harry!” he added.

Harry swooped in to hold Jeremy’s face in his hands and kissed him on the cheek.

Louis couldn’t help when his heart swooped in synch with his stomach.

He was just sitting there and grinning like a fool, all his personal grief forgotten.

Finally Harry turned to look at Louis his eyes impossibly bright, “hey you.” he breathed.

“Hey Harry. Are you ready for today?”

Harry nodded and his curls bounced up and down and he noticed Louis’ eyes follow them.

Just then Stan peeked in to wave at the boys and motioned for them to come out.

They came out to find Jeremy’s parents standing there.

“Hello Mr. and Mrs. Eriksen. How are you?” Louis asked politely.

“Hello son, we got the reports of the tests you asked us to get Jeremy done. Here is the file.”

Louis took the file and flipped through it his face falling with every page.

“Something the matter, Louis?” Mr. Eriksen asked concerned.

“We will just have to get some follow up tests, sir. The reports are not bad but I would still love to just be sure.” Louis forced a smile, or maybe it was only Harry who noticed the forced smile as Jeremy’s parents relaxed visibly.

  
Louis wrote down further tests on the paper and handed it to them. He kept the main file for himself.

Harry was curious as he extracted the file from Louis arms and as he flipped through it he suddenly did not feel all that happy about the day at all.


	8. Cunning plans

But obviously the MRI had some problem. There was no mass of cells in Jeremy's brain. Louis told himself as he saw Harry's face fall. He had to hold onto this confidence as Harry slowly removed his hand from his mouth and turned to look at Louis.

"Louis?" he whispered his eyes probing for answers.

Louis almost broke down by the look on Harry's face. If anything turned out to be wrong with Jeremy, Harry would definitely suffer a lot. That would be far too much for Louis to handle at this point.

He smiled softly and held Harry's hand as he closed the report with the other.

"It is an anomaly, Harry. The report will be fine next time." Louis said reassuringly.

Louis squeezed his hand and just like that Harry's smile was back. Now if only Louis could make himself believe that the report was indeed flawed.

As they headed for Lunch Harry still hadn't regained his earlier sunshine and Louis was concerned. He wanted to hug the boy but why did his heart flutter at the thought?

Louis groaned mentally. Or so he thought.

"You talk to yourself a lot, Lou." Harry said.

Louis registered the endearment in his voice but he ignored it like it actually did nothing to him, like his breath hadn’t hitched.

"You just keep hearing things Harold." Louis quipped and couldn't decide what made Harry to look down and smile, whether it his sassy comment or the nickname. He would like to believe it was the latter.

As they entered the cafeteria they heard rather than saw Niall first, his laughter booming in the large space.

He sat with Stan who seemed to be in splits, tears streaming down his face due to all the laughter.

As Harry tapped on Stan's shoulder he regained his composure enough to speak in between his laughter.

"Harry! Do you know how many countries Niall has been to?"

When Harry looked extremely confused Stan exclaimed. "Turdy seven, Harry! Turdy seven!!"

And ones again both the boys lost it Niall almost toppling his chair over.

Louis smiled indulgently and sat down.

"You guys have clicked, ha?"

"I think I will marry Stan here." Niall said placing a hand over Stan's arm who cackled before dissolving in some more laughter. Boy could hardly breathe!

"I will think about it my lovely leprechaun" Stan said and bopped the tip of Niall's nose.

Louis laughed alongside them when Niall noticed something and spoke up,

"Harry you are awfully silent mate!"

Harry just shook his head and placed both his elbows on the table, fingers intertwined and supporting his cheek.

"Just admiring my precious five year olds." Harry said with a grin and Niall blinked twice before understanding what Harry said and punched him lightly.

In reality, Harry was just a little taken aback when Niall casually proposed Stan. It was a joke for Stan and Niall but he realised him marrying a guy someday was an actual eventuality and moments like these made him scared of his future with all the 'what if's and 'what not's.

"We went clubbing last night!" Niall exclaimed.

"I thought we were your friends Nialler! Why didn't you ask us?" Harry questioned a little hurt.

Niall immediately bit his lower lip and scrunched his eyebrows.

"You guys went home late yesterday and I did not want you guys to tire out too much. I wanted to Harry but I know you would have come." Niall looked positively sad and he was clearly questioning his decision.

Harry looked at the boy with mouth quite open. He had never imagined Niall to be so mature about things but Niall Horan was more than just jokes and laughter, he was caring too.

Louis understanding Harry's silence spoke up on his behalf.

"I am sure Harry wants to hug you and kiss you right now Niall. You did it right. We understand." And that’s all it took for Niall to brighten like the brightest sunshine and everyone fell in love with him a little more just then.

"Well this can't be tolerated, party at my house lads!" Harry exclaimed throwing his hands in the air.

Everyone cheered but Louis just smiled.

"I maybe can't come. I have some reports to go through."

Harry looked crestfallen but did not say anything. He knew better than to make Louis neglect his duties. Harry had looked at him sadly and Louis was secretly happy that Harry will be affected by his absence even though Louis was deliberately not going.

"Uh, well... Um.. Niall, Stan?" Harry asked looking at the boys.

"I am not invited? I am hurt!" A voice interrupted them. They all turned to find Nick sauntering over.

Usually Louis admired all that was Nick Grimshaw but right now he felt annoyed as fuck by Nick's continued intrusions.

Harry smiled broadly and Louis made a face, mentally of course. He wasn't Harry’s bodyguard or anything but that does not mean Nick can be so chummy with Harry when Louis met him first. Maybe a few minutes earlier, but still first.

"No you can come too, Nick! Obviously!" Harry chirped and this time Louis actually frowned at Harry. This was clearly getting out of hand.

Nick laughed at Harry’s enthusiasm and Louis’ face darkened further. Nick was casually talking to others when his eyes fell on Harry’s shirt.

“Your collar isn’t right.” Nick made a move to fix it for Harry who was across the table from him but Louis instinctively reached out and sorted it for Harry. He felt his finger brush against Harry’s soft skin and he found his finger stay there longer than necessary. He quickly retrieved his hand when he felt Niall observing him acutely. Maybe the boy even had a phenomenal level of observation skills. Not a good news for Louis. He fidgeted in his seat for a while before turning his attention towards the conversation between Nick and Harry.

“So, what time then, Harry?” Nick asked jovially.

“Say, 8? I will text you the details!”

Back in his apartment Louis slumped down on the kitchen table with his head against the surface of the table.

“Lou?” Louis peeked at Liam as he voiced his concern.

Louis just raised his arm, pointed at himself and made a gesture of being okay.

“Oh man! Spill!” Liam sighed.

“You know, Li. You sure do like your gossip a lot more than a guy should.” Louis said acidly.

Liam rolled his eye before prodding at Louis with the pen in his hand.

“Look, I have my major assignment to complete and I just can’t wait any longer!” Liam literally whined.

“Harry is hosting a party, Liam and I can’t go.” Louis sounded utterly defeated.

“Oh yes yes! You told me once how you shouldn’t step outside in the dark. I know it brings out that animal in you which makes you want to sink your teeth in a human flesh and rip that right off and rink their blood- Ouch!” Liam exclaimed rubbing his arm when Louis pinched him hard.

“No more bloody Twilight for you!” Louis said.

“Huh! Now talk of great Tommo.” Liam said rolling his eyes at his difficult best friend.

“I can’t go Liam! The boy is clearly developing feelings for me! I can’t lead him on like that. I am straight for God’s sake. It would be unfair on him.” Louis huffed and got up from the table. He did not want to meet Liam’s eye.

Liam did not need to meet Louis’s eye to know what was happening and what had to be done about this.

“Take me with you?” Liam said with his fingers crossed over each other on the table.

“Huh! What?” Louis swivelled and came back to the table.

“Wow! I know I am an English major and stuff but I never knew your English is that pathetic to understand what I just said.” Liam said cheekily which earned him a smack on the head.

“I have been a bad influence on you Payno” Louis said clearly amused. “But you just said you have this assignment to complete.” Louis asked.

“Well, I wish to come with you now!” Liam said crossing his arms.

A slow smile crept up Louis’ face as he studied Liam.

“You bastard! You want to meet Zayn don’t you?” Louis grinned and Liam gaped at him but then a metaphorical bulb went on over Liam’s head.

“Uh, yes yes! You caught me man, so smart. I really wanted to know him better. I can’t possibly go if you don’t come along?” Liam said betting his eyeslashes innocently

“But your assignment?” Louis asked placing one hand on his cocked hips.

“Hey Louis, there is my English paper and then there this hot piece of ass that is Zayn Malik. What would I rather have?” Liam made a balance with both his hands and looked pointedly at Louis as the hand indicating Zayn was tipping low. Liam was completely overdoing this but he knew this was necessary with Louis. He couldn’t see a pretence if it stood in front of his face with its pants down. Sometimes Liam loved him for his naiveté.  

Louis carefully observed Liam before deeming his reason good enough when he made his way to his room to get dressed but he stopped before closing the door.

 “A hotter piece of ass right here by the way!” Louis said smacking his hips and winked at Liam before closing the door and Liam guffawed, incredibly proud that his impromptu plan had worked.   

He called Harry from the cab.

“Um, Harry. Hey!” Louis could hear activity on the phone. Harry was probably moving around in preparation.

“Louis? Hey Louis!” Louis honestly didn’t like the way Harry sounded this excited. He loved it.

“Hey… Yeah. I am hoping the offer to the party is still open?”  
He could hear Harry suddenly drop the task at hand to press the phone closer to his ear.

“Wha-what?” Harry asked over the clanging pots.

“Can I come over? Liam is coming over too with me. I hope that would be great?” Louis said biting his lower lip.

“Better than great Louis! Liam is more than invited to come!”

Louis didn’t want to but he giggled and Liam smirked.

“Yeah. I will be there in say 15?”

“Yeah, Nick, Niall and Stan would be here by 9.”

Louis checked his watch and it was 7:45.

“Yeah, it’s okay. See you Harry.”

“You too Louis. See you!” And Louis blushed at how fervent he sounded.

Louis cut the phone to look at Liam. “All this for you okay? I had no inclination to go but for you. You owe me.” Louis said.

“Suuuuuuuuuure.” Liam drawled.

“Do I hear sarcasm Payno?”

“No my liege! I am forever thy loyal servant.”

Louis grinned at Liam and proceeded to look out of the window to admire the landscape.

Some 10 minutes later he received a text from Harry.

 

**_From Harry_ **

_I will be leaving Zayn alone in the apartment, send Liam up. Meet me at the supermarket. ;)  
7:55 p.m._

 

Louis smiled at the screen before typing a quick reply.

 

**_To Harry_ **

_I like what you are thinking ;)_

_7:56p.m._

“What’s it?” Liam asked.

“Nothing. Just discussing the party with Harry. ”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t smile like a maniac, Louis.”

Louis rolled his eyes and spent the rest of the ride convincing himself that his anxiety was barely due to the date he was going to set up for Liam and Zayn and not his own urge to meet Harry. He had not pounced at an excuse to go to the party. No, he had not.

As they got off the car he faked to look at his cell phone screen and groaned.

“Harry is calling me to the supermarket. I need to meet him there. He doesn’t know what to buy for the party. You head up yeah?”

Liam narrowed his eyes at him, he was aware that they had infact planned this but he was not comfortable of how this was playing out for him, but then again the whole motive was to bring Louis to Harry together and this was a job well done.

“Well, cool. I will just head up and wait. Don’t you dare take too much time.” Liam glared at Louis.

Louis looked confused “But I thought you wanted some time with Zayn?”

“Uh, yes. I mean, you know don’t be too late because he might think I planned at that and stuff.” Nice save Liam, he thought mentally.

As Louis made it past Liam and slapped his bum Liam grumbled and made his way up the stairs.

It would be unfair to say that Liam wasn’t nervous. He wasn’t ready to face Zayn and his gorgeous face but there was no turning back now and so he gently knocked on the door.

“Coming!!” Came a voice from inside and Liam’s collar suddenly felt too tight on his throat and why was the air suddenly so warm that he was sweating? Before he could figure any of it Zayn opened the door and looked at Liam standing at the door who was very red in the face.

“Hey Liam.” Zayn breathed and Liam knew he would love and regret coming here for his own sake.  


	9. A cozy lovers' get together

Liam walked into the room as Zayn stood by and closed the door after him. Liam turned to face Zayn when he finally noticed Zayn's outfit. No, Liam saw Zayn wearing an apron which was completely dusted with flour.

Liam bit his lip to hold back his laughter but Zayn noticed and grinned sheepishly. "It's all because of Harry, mate. He decided last minute that he wants me to make the pizza from scratch and here I am, the loyal housewife!"

"That is extremely nice of you, Zayn."

Zayn snickered of what he thought of as a sarcastic comment but then looked up at Liam to see that his head tilted to a side and he smiled like he was genuine.

He couldn't help it when his heart swelled with joy.

Zayn motioned with his hands for Liam to go forward and take a seat and that is when Liam properly looked at the apartment. It was huge and beautiful, neat and classy. From no angle could anyone say Liam and Louis' apartment was 'classy', with Louis not bothering much, Liam grimaced but then sighed in resignation. Poor thing never had the time either. In Zayn and Harry's apartment, it was definitely classy but it was not unwelcome. Here and there were cozy looking bean bags and soft cusions and the curtains were soft pink.

"Harry broaght the curtains by the way."

Zayn said with his back to Liam setting some things straight in the room.

"I won't think any less cute of you, if it were you!' The words came out of Liam's mouth before he could even process what he had just said. He cringed and whispered to the Gods that Zayn does not mind.

But zayn just laughed heartily and said,

"Well, I did suggest that to him, maybe."

And he turned and winked at him. Liam smiled in response.

Liam looked around and he saw many paintings up on the wall. There were a few landscapes and a couple hands in hands walking towards a castle. His eyes immediately drew him to the one where 3 horses were racing against each other and he walked towards it to look at it carefully, spellbound.

This is gorgeous! So you have a penchant for home decôr and collecting painting? Liam was chuckling when he stilled suddenly and his jaw dropped. He couldn't make his eyes leave what he was looking at right now. Zayn noticed the sudden silence and he turned to look at Liam's back who looked dumbstruck. He blushed a little as he walked over to Liam. "Liam?"

"You made this didn't you? It's your signature there, is it not?" Liam's eyes were flitting from the tiny signature 'Zayn Malik' to the horses and he knew he was in awe of the guy.

"The others too.."

"Every piece in this room?" Liam stuttered. He knew Zayn was not bragging though, he had a feeling that he'd not have brought them on if Liam hadn't noticed them.

"Uh, yes. I love to paint."

Liam looked at Zayn and desperately fought back the urge to kiss him.

"I have not seen anything more beautiful. I am positive that no piece of art I have seen is comparable to these.

"Thank You, Liam..  Harry loves my paintings too but that is more due to the fact that I made them, you loved them for what they are and it means alot to me."

"Anytime." Liam whispered his eyes glued to the painting again.

"Oh cumawn! I am getting jealous of all the attention the painting is getting!"

Liam beems and punches Zayn lightly on the shoulder.

"If I do turn my full attention on you, I swear you would fall for me." Liam could have avoided this comment but he wanted to gauze Zayn's reaction.

He didn't dissapoint. He blinked twice and turned towards the table again.

"So where are Louis and Haz?"

* * *

"Hey Harry!" Louis had spotted Harry by the aisles staring intently at some chip packets.

Harry relieved the lip he was biting and hugged Louis.

"Woah!" Louis exhaled as he was enveloped by Harry's chest and arms, he had never felt so small witj anyone. His tiny arms went under Harry's and barely made it to his shoulders.

Harry smelled of strawberries, floral and something of Harry alone and he felt mildly embarrased as he took a deep breath burying himself more. As Harry separated he still held him by his upper arms.

"You said you were busy! Thought you wouldn't come!"

Louis thought about restating his reason as solely Liam's wish but didn't as he couldn't trust himself with that lie, he had been desperate to come."

"Just came, Harry. Couldn't miss it."

The way his eyes shone at the moment, Louis could swear no number of christmas lights would ever be suficient for him.

"So what do you think, we should buy for the party?" Harry said refocusing on the chips.

"Depends on how many people are coming, Harry."

"Um.. You, me, Liam, Zayn, Niall, Stan and Nick!" He said counting each name on a finger.

"None of your other friends?" Louis was surprised, a guy as lovable as Harry must have a lot friends.

"Yeah, I just wanted a little get together for us away from the hospital, cozy and comfy. To emphasise his point he even hugged himself and tilted his head adorably.

"Oh, you are such a teddy bear!" Louis exclaimed as he ruffled his hair. He immediately drew back his hand as he realised that he was crossing the boundary he had set for himself, Harry noticed nothing. They picked up the beverages they would need and made their way back to the apartment. Louis was silent on the way back.

"Your glasses look really nice on you, Lou."

"Well, I was thinking about contacts maybe."

"Hey nooooo! I like them!"

Harry pouted and Louis rolled his eye at Harry who poked his tongue out in response.

Louis loved how Harry made him feel younger and more appreciative of the tiniest if details. But then he shook his head to get the thoughts out of his head. He should not be making a mental list of all things he love about him. He should do that for his own benefit and Harry’s.

As they reached the apartment Harry opened the door for Louis and ushered him in like a gentleman.  
“You two took your time!” Liam exclaimed.

“I don’t hear the complaint in there, Li!” Louis winked at Liam and Liam shut his mouth and glared at Louis for the innuendo.

Louis admired the flat in awe, it was much more spacious and adorned than his, although it was common knowledge that Harry and Zayn actually came from wealthy backgrounds, considering their cars, Louis had never registered it as much as now. He felt wonderstuck that how the two boys were still rooted. if anything this made him admire the two more than he already did.

  
Zayn had by now put the pizzas in the oven and gone forward to remove the apron and set his hairdo.

“Don’t hold your breath guys. Our princess takes time.” Harry had proclaimed when Zayn had picked up his hair-gel which got Harry a hairbrush thrown his way.

For the 5 minutes that followed Harry talked to Liam and he felt this feeling in his chest that he is the one who’d make his best friend happy. His kind brown eyes and genuine smile was enough of a proof for Harry.

As Zayn emerged, Liam felt his heart flutter. He had pulled his previously fringed hair into a quiff and it made him look hot. Liam was positively melting.

“Now there Zaynie boy, trying to impress someone are we?” Harry chuckled and Zayn was saved from answering as just then the doorbell rang and Zayn hurried to get the door. Stan and Niall smiled broadly at Zayn. Zayn hugged Niall and shook hand with Stan as they were meeting for the first time.

Niall came in and hugged the three boys in the living room which made Liam exclaim, “Tell me these two come to the hospital because you are hugging them as if you guys are meeting after a while!”

“Naw man! These two here, they don’t have time for poor Nialler here, busy in their world and so I am joined at the hips to Stan here.” Niall threw his arm casually around Stan’s shoulder to emphasize his point.

“So you say they don’t resurface most of the time from their secret date spot?” Liam asked conspiratorially.

To which Niall stage whispered, “At least twice a day I see them emerging out of some god knows hole, some dark room many times. Harry’s clothes are mostly disheveled and don’t get me started on Louis’ hair!” Liam guffawed as he bumped fists with Niall who broke into fits of laughter.

Harry too was enjoying this banter but he could see Louis was just pretending to smile. It wasn’t reaching his eyes and there was pain in the blueness.

“Cumawn guys! Enough! Sit around now. What do you wanna do?” Harry said rubbing his hands together.

“I wanna eat!” Niall said.

“I’ll get the pizzas when Nick’s here.” Harry told him.

Louis had completely forgotten that they’d be joined by Nick too. This gathering was soothing for him as it felt almost family but lately he was feeling some unexplained animosity towards Nick. Just then the doorbell rung.  

“Speak of the devil” Louis had not meant for his words to come out that acidic and he hoped no one noticed.

Harry bounded over to the door and opened it to find Nick holding a huge bouquet of flowers. Harry loved flowers and as he took the flowers he kissed Nick on the cheek as he took them. The flowers probably had no thorns in them but Louis felt the sting it in his heart. Liam was observing Louis’ reaction and his lips thinned as he saw Louis’ eyes flash as Harry kissed Nick.

“Come on in!”

Nick looked a little out of place in this young group of boys but he was still at ease.  

“I smell something really nice cooking in here. My compliments to the chef.”

“It’s Zayn, right there.” Harry said as he gestured towards Zayn and Nick bowed towards him good naturedly. He was an instant hit with everyone. Appropriately mature and exquisitely interesting, they were hooked onto him.

“No need to be in his pocket Liam, Keep to your boy.” Louis whispered as Liam laughed at one of his jokes.

“What? What’s wrong?”  
“That joke was not even funny.” Louis grimaced.

“Are you jealous of your superior?”

“No! I just don’t like all of you fawning over him like he is some exotic creature.”

“All of us or just one in particular?”

 

Louis had no answer to this but as a response his eyes did linger on Harry who was sitting beside Nick and Liam had his answer.

 

“Can we watch movies then?” Nick suggested and everyone nodded.

“Which one? I might have the DVD.” Harry said as he moved towards the rack.

“Before sunrise?” Nick suggested.

“Yes! I haven’t seen it too!” Niall stated and Harry retrieved the DVD to play it. He went inside the kitchen to get more chips and drinks for everyone and wedged between Liam and Louis.

“HEY! Quit hogging the space!” Liam pushed at Harry.

“Go sit with your homeboy, I am sitting with mine!” Harry grinned at Liam and threw his arm around Louis. He did not notice that Louis inhaled sharply, due to a mixture of anxiety, pleasure and Harry’s proximity.

Liam rolled his eyes and stood up to sit in the same sofa with Zayn who subconsciously scooted closer to him and he too placed an arm around his shoulder. Liam bit his lip and looked away to hide his grin.

“They are cute aren’t they, Lou?” Harry whispered in Louis ear and Louis closed his eyes as a shiver ran up his spine.

“Very, they are perfect.” Louis squeaked.

 Harry laughed softly as he shifted to a more comfortable position and hit play.

Louis looked at Nick and smiled at him, he could only hope that it did not come out as a consolatory one, as surely Harry sitting this close to him with his smell swirling around them is some sort of a reward.


	10. Jeremy and his report

Somewhere through the movie Harry had removed his hand from over Louis’ shoulder and had snuggled into his side, while Louis’ arm was now draped loosely over Harry’s shoulder and he had pulled him closer instinctively when a silent sob had raked through Harry in a not particularly sad scene. It had taken Louis the majority of his self control to not kiss Harry’s forehead and whisper comforting words in his ears.  
Louis smiled over at Nick now that he suddenly felt more tolerable of him. Nick met Louis’ eyes and motioned at harry with his eyes. Louis looked down to find that the younger boy was silently dozing off on Louis. His heart gave out to the boy because he knew that Harry was putting a lot of effort over the cases in the hospital and he must be really tired. He saw that the movie was coming to an end anyway and so he decided to support Harry to his bedroom and tuck him in. He wasn’t intent on doing this himself but Zayn was comfortably wrapped around Liam and he didn’t want to disturb them. He swept the stay curls from Harry’s forehead and made sure his fingers didn’t brush against his cheek so that sleeping beauty would wake up. Harry made an adorable scuffing noise and Louis’ melted.

“Get up, Haz.”

Harry winked once and twice and tilted his head to look up Louis.

“Um?” he said, his eyes sleep laden. Louis fought back the whiplash he felt as he suddenly felt Harry’s soft plump lips close to his, almost a centimetre away and Louis just wanted to ravish on them like his dessert. He held his breath so that no movement on his par would bridge this gap and gingerly shifted away a little.

“Let’s get you to your bedroom, Haz. Come on, you need to rest.” Louis said.

Harry got up from the couch but held on to Louis’ hand and Louis felt more obliged to follow Harry even when he already was going to.

Zayn looked at Louis and made a move to get up but Louis just smiled and gestured him to sit still and be with Liam instead. Zayn blushed ever so slightly and nodded.

Louis had never imagined how Harry’s room would be but he had never imagined it to be like it was.

It was immaculate, Harry had organised everything and one look told Louis’ that if he was to go through his music collection he would find everything alphabetically ordered. Every book looked to be organised by genre and even his binders were stacked with their spines at one side.

  
He placed his hand on the small of Harry’s back and led him to the bed.

Harry wasn’t wearing anything uncomfortable to begin with and so he didn’t ask him to change. As Harry climbed in after removing his worn out shoes, he pulled the sheets over him and so high as to cover his nose. Harry was so tired that he could hardly even open his eyes to keep Louis’ in focus.

“Thank you for coming, Lou.” Harry mumbled from between the sheets.

Louis sat down on his knees and pulled the sheet down a little to expose his nose and lips. His fingers barely brushed Harry’s lips but he was sure he’d remember this day forever.

 “How do you plan on breathing, Harry?” Louis asked and Harry just smiled and reached out to squeeze Louis’ hand. Louis ruffled Harry’s hair and stood up to but stopped to admire Harry instead, he looked soft and gentle and utterly ruinable. Any guy would be torn between kissing him and cuddling him and fucking the living daylights out of him. Louis finally turned the light but he stalled a little to admire the room.

What intrigued him the most was that all of his walls were dedicated to be made into a collage. Harry had cut out news paper clippings and put it up on the wall, there were movie tickets, flyers, stickers, origami’s and some poems he had probably written himself. What Louis liked the most were the photographs. There were photos of Harry with his family, with Zayn and other friends. He stood fascinated for a long time. This wall was easily a glimpse into everything Harry is passionate about and it pleased Louis that he had the good fortune to admire this. As Louis turned off the light and made to leave, Harry spoke up.

“Will the meet again, Louis? Will they be able to meet on the date they have decided?” Harry was speaking in whisper and Louis could still discern every word but he was confused as to what he was talking about. It took him few seconds to realise that Harry was talking about the movie where the lovers had decided to part and reunite on a set date, set place.

“I hope they do Harry, what is a good love story if they don’t meet at the end.” Harry didn’t respond to that but ducked his head deeper into the sheets and Louis knew he was smiling.

“Goodnight, Lou.” Harry whispered.

“Goodnight, Hazza” Louis had no reason to whisper but he felt himself doing just that.

As he walked out to the living room he saw that the movie had already ended and that the boys were moving around to clean the apartment.

He picked a plate to take to the sink when Nick came and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, Louis. I know this is probably not the right time but I am so concerned and that is why I ask, how is Jeremy doing?”  


Any resentment Louis had towards Nick it faded a little. What had him admiring Nick in the first place was his honest concern towards all of his patients. Nick had never considered it a bare duty but he really takes the suffering to heart and Louis reprimanded himself mentally for being a douche to Nick in the past few days and it was mark of Nick’s amazing nature that Nick had not even noticed, he admired his subordinates that fucking much. But Louis wasn’t forgiving him yet for his forced involvement in everything, even though it wasn’t his place to begrudge Nick in the first place.

“His parents brought in a report today but I don’t think it is correct actually. I have asked them to give it another go.” Louis said.

“You think the machine is faulty?” Nick asked mildly surprised, Louis could tell the way his eyebrows were a little higher up than usual showing his disbelief.

“Yes, it can happen maybe, I want to be sure.” Louis said a little firmly, a little more than was probably required but Nick smiled and nodded.

“It’s best to be sure Louis; we don’t want Jer to be discomforted because of us.”

And this was the second reason Louis admired Nick; he had no authoritarian bone in his body and he always so considerate and reasonable. He sighed internally, weary of his tussle between his jealous and admiring self.

Nick gave Louis a two finger salute before moving off to help with the cleaning. Niall, Stan and Nick decided to stay a little longer to help Zayn and also because they lived relatively closer to Harry’s place.  As Liam and Louis wished Zayn goodbye he was pleased by the way Liam and Zayn held each others’ gaze and he was quick to point that out to Liam.

“Soooooooooooo.” Louis winked.

“A masterful vocabulary, Louis. You leave me spellbound.” Liam rolled his eyes at Louis.

“So it wasn’t bad!” Louis said poking Liam’s ribs with his elbow and Liam simply grinned, “It wasn’t”

“I think he will bear fine children with cheekbones like his.” Louis said and Liam gasped audibly at Louis comment before chasing him down the walkway. They bantered on their way back to home and Louis dropped Zayn a quick text that they are home and safe. It wasn’t out of necessity but Zayn had insisted that they do. Zayn replied back quick.

_Great to know. Thanks for tucking Harry in._

**From: Zayn**

**10:15 p.m.**

“Harry was sleeping right, who you texting?” Liam enquired as he removed his T shirt.

 “Your boyfriend.” Louis winked at Liam who didn’t blush or react by smiling this time. He instead turned towards Louis to look into his eyes until Louis’ smile faded.

“Why are you frowning at me?” Louis said his defences up.

“You and you little trick of putting me under the spotlight to change the topic isn’t going to work forever now is it? Why do you never talk about Harry?”

“Hey we do! I do talk about him. We have become close friends.” Louis advocated feebly.

“Louis.” And Liam sounded so tired that Louis dropped his charade. Yes he indeed played it up about Liam and Zayn to keep Liam distracted but his best friend was genuinely concerned about him and he need not make him feel more frustrated. So in a rare moment of vulnerability he finally spoke.

“Someday you’ll know about this Liam. I promise to you. All that is happening. Bear with me please?” Louis sounded tired as well and he hugged back with as much force when Liam came in to pull him into a hug.

 He wasn’t feeling particularly tired yet and hence he decided to check his social media sites. He had already added Zayn and Harry some while ago and he saw notifications that he was tagged in some 10 photographs by Zayn.

He eagerly opened them to find that they were of today’s get together. Louis hadn’t expected Zayn to be this quick and he hadn’t even realised that Zayn had actually taken pictures too. He had made it a shared album among the boys and Nick so that they can add their pictures too. Louis actually did have some pictures but he decided to browse through the album first. There were some 30-40 in there and he loved how Zayn had managed to capture amazing candid shots of Niall ogling at food and of Nick carding through his hair which was a habit of his. He had also captured how Liam smiled when Harry showed him his super-hero cards and Louis knew that Liam was a sucker for superheroes; especially Batman.

He even laughed a bit when he saw the picture where he was tackling Stan on the sofa because he had been chucking his popcorn at Louis. His smile faltered as his eyes fell one of the pictures he was tagged in. It was when the movie was on and Harry was pressed against his side with his head placed casually on his shoulder, facing a little towards Harry, so close that if Louis had wished he could have looked down and bowed just a little to place his lips on Harry’s and suddenly Louis felt his anxiety coming back. He could feel it burning inside a hole in his chest, concentrated and ready to burst out.

Some of it was already seeping to reach his heart and brain but he couldn’t do thing when the next thing he knew he was slightly out of breath and his chest rose and fell rapidly. He was getting an anxiety attack all out of a picture of him and Harry. If anyone would have looked in his eyes they’d have seen unadulterated dread and fear of losing himself to this situation. Breaking a promise he had made to himself a long time ago. He slept restlessly in the night just to run away from his life but green eyes and dorky jokes followed him to his sleep when Liam came in to check on him in the night, he found Louis smiling softly.

The next day Harry walked up the stairs to the hospital and found Alice working on the floor.

“Alice!” Harry drew out the word as he made his way over to her.

She smiled at him fondly and stood up straight.

“Hello Harry dear, how are you?”

Harry shrugged to indicate that everything was normal before launching into his own questions. “Where were you all this time? Haven’t seen you in so long!” and Alice’s eyes got even wider.

“You are a precious child, Harry. You cared enough to ask.”

Harry frowned, “Why should someone not be? Where would we all be if you weren’t here? Oh yes in dirt and filth and grime, that’s where!” Harry said theatrically.

Alice chuckled, “I had to. Some family issues and I had deal with them back home. But I am here now.”

“And, this hospital is finally a better place.” Harry tilted his head and Alice pinched his cheek fondly.

“You will make someone really lucky one day, son.” Harry blushed pink at Alice’s words which made Alice laugh further.

“Now go about your work! Off you go save lives!”

“Aye Aye!” Harry saluted her and made his way to the ward to find Louis already there and pouring deep over a file. The bags under his eyes were clear indicators that he had not slept well and Harry couldn’t fathom why.

“What is wrong, Lou?” Harry asked as he went to stand by him and placed his arm on his shoulder.

Louis jumped a little and made to make a little space between him and Harry in the pretence of picking up a paper but this time Harry noticed and he narrowed his eyes at him but didn’t say anything.

Harry was never dull in his entire life and it didn’t need extensive human psychology lessons that Louis was uncomfortable with Harry at the moment. Harry retreated a few steps and dropped his hand; Louis saw the movement and looked at Harry. Harry may be very observant in real life but that did no good to his acting skills.

Louis cursed himself for doing this to Harry and he moved forward to hold Harry’s hand gently.

“I am definitely fine, Haz” Louis knew it wasn’t Harry fault what he was going through, well technically at least and that is why he had no right to be a douche towards him.

“Okay, Lou.” Harry wasn’t entirely comfortable but he smiled at Louis and that enough to ease a little weight off Louis’ chest.

“Stan and Niall made it yet?” Harry enquired.

“Not as much as I know. They left late last night; maybe they woke up late or something.”

Harry’s face fell a little on the mention of the party “It was terrible of me to fall asleep like that. I am a pathetic host.” Saying that Harry ran his fingers through his already messy hair.

“Not at all, Harry. You were tired! We don’t expect to be formal with us! You know that right?”

Harry smiled and shrugged. Niall opened the door and poked his blonde head in.

“Yo, my lovely partay animals!” Niall exclaimed.

Harry grinned at the Irish and his ‘partay’.

“I hope you were not too rough with my lovely Stan last night.” Louis said in a boss-like tone which made Niall chuckle.

“Naw man! He actually ditched me for someone else last night!” Harry and Louis cooed over Niall and patted his back sympathetically. .

“Don’t worry, I love you, Nialler.” Harry said in a very serious tone.

Niall made lewd kissing gestured towards Harry and mouthed ‘call me later’ before he made his way over to his patient’.

Harry guffawed and he held the door open to leave and looked at Louis’ expectantly to follow him which he did moments later.

An attendant informed them that Jeremy had been tested in the morning but his reports were due to come in later in the evening.

Harry had blanched a little at the mention of Jeremy’s result but then he did want a confirmation that nothing is wrong.

The rest of the day went past rather quickly amidst patients and their test results being cross referenced. Harry was never looking for an excuse to drop his work and Louis admired his work ethics.

“You are awfully young to be this dedicated to your work really.” Louis commented offhandedly when they were taking a quick tea break.

“You are indirectly calling yourself really very old. A sentiment I do not share.” Harry grinned into his cup paused at his lips and they were red from the hot liquid he was sipping and Louis couldn’t help but stare. He had to physically shake himself to look away. But nothing of that could make the mental image of Harry’s full red lips, perfectly shaped, so perfectly kissable.

They finished their tea quickly as their attention was needed in one of the rooms.

It was not until around 5 o clock in the evening that Jeremy’s report finally came in.

Harry had taken a loo break and Louis’ had no intention of letting Harry know but how could he keep this from Harry when he was an intern on this case too.

He felt his hand shake as he opened the file and he kept his eyes tightly shut as he exhaled loudly. He knew he was being a complete child about this was Jeremy and he was scared about the little boy’s well being. It had been little over a year Louis has worked here but he had no experience of deterioration in little children’s cases.

He huffed out and slumped on the nearest chair as his eye fell on the result, the same as before and he slapped a hand on his mouth his chest heaving. Just then Harry walked out of the loo and noticed Louis staring at a file and clutching his mouth as if to hold back a cry from escaping and fear gripped harry like icy clutches of the knives. Cutting into his skin to embed into his muscles and heart and he couldn’t move. He knew what it was but he did not want to hear it from Louis. It hurt also because Louis was visibly falling apart and Harry moved towards Louis in a daze. He took the file and shut it without looking at it. He sat near Louis and hugged him with one arm pulling him close.

“Same report?” Louis barely nodded and it was obvious that his eyes were desperately holding back on tears.

Harry sighed and let his head fall back against the wall. He didn’t care that it hit the wall with a force that should hurt but he felt nothing.

The lump in Jeremy’s MRI was a cluster of cells growing out of control. Siphoning the supply that his neurons need to survive. Taking away, ever so slightly Jeremy’s life support. It was an aggregate of tumour cells in Jeremy’s brain. Jeremy had brain cancer.      


	11. The delicate Tommo heart

This wasn’t Louis first case turned into cancer but it had never been a child before, especially Jeremy who was so sweet and so little with so much of life ahead of him. Still having to enjoy all that life has to offer and grudgingly give up everything it wants in return. Louis had his face pressed to his palms and he was trying to steady himself. In his childhood he had lost a close friend of his cancer and he had never taken it lightly. He still remembered how he had cried and how many days Liam had just pushed food past his throat because Louis wouldn’t feel hungry. The worst was when he saw his parents few days later they looked like they had died inside because of the loss of their son and he remembers getting an anxiety attack all over again. He never wanted this to happen to anyone else, especially not to Jeremy.

Harry sat beside him rubbing wide circles on his back, he felt terrible inside and if he could he would break down too but he’d be strong for Louis. He knew that Louis was personally attached to all his patients and how much Jeremy meant to him. So bit his lips hard and blinked furiously to keep away the rogue tears. Nick found them sitting on the bench when he was on his regular stroll and sprinted over when he saw Louis and Harry the way they were, Louis massaging his forehead and Harry staring at the file in front of him like he would want nothing better than to change the text simply by staring.

“Is it?” Nick just asked the question to which he had guessed an answer; Harry saw it in his eyes.  
Louis just nodded not turning to look at Nick.

“Come to my office will you, lads?”

Again Louis just acknowledged with a nod and got up to follow him.

Once in his office Nick gestured at them to sit and the two boys wordlessly did.

“Lads, I know this is very tough for both of you, especially on you Louis because you have known him for so long. I wish the report was different though.” And it was evident that Nick really did feel sad for the bys and for Jeremy, because even he was immensely fond of the boy and his adorable innocence.

“If it is too hard on both of you, maybe Stan and Niall can take over the case.” Nick said not too forcefully yet firmly.

“What? You want us to abandon him?” Louis whispered. And Harry turned to look at Louis and he was aware that Louis was channelling his sorrow into anger now.

“Don’t be ridiculous Louis! I said ‘if’. You are the best we have! You guys can make him all perfect and I know it!”  
Louis, who was clutching the arm-rests of his chair with the risk of piercing the leather slumped back in his chair, his anger ebbed. Harry felt himself releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding until then.

“I know we can, sir. I am well versed with his medical records and his reaction to the various medications. I won’t leave him.” Louis said.

  
“I would still want you to maybe take a half day or off tomorrow to study further into the case and feel better.” Nick added with his hand on Louis’ shoulder.

Louis sighed at the concern in his voice and he knew someday his admiration and jealousy of this guy would drive him insane.

“Thank you, I would think about it.”  
Nick looked at Harry and added,

“I know you are barely holding it together too, you can too take a little break. I can suggest that you guys look into Mrs. Smith’s case as she is making a significant recovery!”  
And Harry smiled as yes; one of their patients was infact on her way to recovery.

“Thank You, that is very kind.” Harry managed to smile some more.

“Anything for my friends and colleagues.” Nick waved his hand in the air like it was nothing.

When Louis and Harry made to get out of the room, Nick held back Louis and pulled him into a hug and Louis felt himself relax just a little.

“He will be okay, Louis. Okay?” Nick murmured.

“Okay… Thank you, Nick. I really appreciate this.” Nick let Louis go with a pat on his back.

Outside the office Louis made a beeline for the exit gate feeling decidedly sick.

“Lou, you want me to drop you?” Harry asked worried for Louis.

“No, Harry. I want to walk home today. I will see tomorrow maybe. Take care.”

Harry waved at Louis, he really wanted to give him a hug too but he knew maybe Louis wouldn’t be very comfortable.

“You get home safe, Lou. Text me when there.” With a last wave, Harry made his way to the parking while Louis deep-pocketed his hands and traipsed on to the footpath lost in his thoughts.

* * *

 

Harry heaved a sigh as he closed the door; he slid down the door with his back pressed to it. On the way home a few tears had escaped his eyes but he had chanted to himself a mantra to calm himself, “He’ll be fine.. He’ll be fine...” The fervent words had sounded more like a wish against the silken nights and now as he lay against the door he still chanted the words. After what seemed like an hour he finally got up unsteadily and went into the kitchen to drink water and he proceeded to press the cool bottle against his forehead to ease some of the throbbing. He had always been passionate about saving people but he was equally scarred of losing someone to some disease. Tragedy had an easy affect on him.

Slowly he changed out of his clothes and put on a sweatshirt and shorts and placed himself in front of the telly with a thick blanket over him. He had full plan on falling asleep on the sofa while watching the telly as he was sure sleep would not come if he lay silent on his bed. He was dozing off on the sofa when his phone rang shrill against his numbed conscience.

It took him a minute to locate it and extract himself from the warmth of the blanket; he shivered as he pressed the cool screen of his phone to his ear. The screen read that Liam was calling.

“ ** _Hey, Liam._** ” Harry said groggily, it was not plenty that Liam called him, just texts once in a while.

 

“ ** _Hey Harry! I am sorry if I am disturbing but I did try Louis’ phone plenty times and he isn’t picking and I really wanted to convey a message to him. Can you smack him hard with a sledgehammer and pass over the phone to him?_** ”  
  
As soon as the words filtered through his fog of sleep, his neck snapped to check his clock; it was now almost 3 hours past the time he had left Louis on his own. He felt his breathing pick up as his eyes were glued to the clock, its needles hypnotic in their wake.

“ ** _Liam, Louis isn’t with me. We parted some 3 hours ago_.** ” Harry didn’t know how he sounded to Liam but to himself he sounded strained and ominous.

“ ** _Oh, Okay. He went back to hospital or something. That is unusual though. He always tries to be back home for dinner_.** ” Liam mused.

“ ** _Liam, Liam, this is bad-_** ” Harry’s words were cut short when he heard a call bell in the distance, through the phone.

“ ** _Oh look! It must be Louis! I am sorry I even disturbed you!_** ” Liam apologised with a light laugh but Harry was not relaxed yet.

“ ** _Liam please, open the door first and tell me, something happened today and I am not sure he’ll be perfectly fine._** ” Harry voiced foreboding.

“ ** _Okaaaayyyy. Hold on._** ” Liam sounded confused but he gasped as he opened the gate and he almost dropped the cell-phone. Louis was swaying on the doorway, clearly piss drunk and his clothes were sweaty and his hair were messed up.

 ** _“Harry! Oh my god Harry! What happened today? Louis is in a right mess! He is dead drunk!”_** Liam grunted like a heavy weight had just fallen on him as Louis teetered and held Liam for support.

Hot panic rose in Harry’s chest and made its way to the other organs in the span of an eye blink.

All of his senses were in a daze but the thumping of the heart tried to make up for all of it and possibly that is why it was the only thing that he could hear right now.

“ ** _I am coming over._** ”

He whispered as he cut the phone and somehow that also severed his delirium and snapped him into action. He was a whirl-wind as he put on the same clothes from the day and barely managed to put on his shoes. He hopped on his foot as he tried to lock the flat while trying to tie the knot. He cursed violently as he realised that had left the car key inside. He breezed in and picked up the key from the side table and again fumbled with the keys on the door, he exhaled loudly when he finally had it and ran down the steps to hop into his seat, he drove full speed towards Louis’ flat. He had never really been there but he knew the tentative location.

He called Liam again from around the corner and asked the proper address.

“ ** _It’s the second building you see Harry, second floor, 202. But you are so early Harry!_** ” Liam exclaimed but one could easily hear that he was scared too.

Harry didn’t bother to reply as he revved his car and made over to the building and parked in front of it and sprinted up, two stairs at a time. Liam met him on the door, looking really flustered.

“What happened to him Harry?” Liam asked his voice breaking.

“Where is he? Is he alright?” harry asked, now that he was here his panic had turned into worry and he was concerned that Louis might have pushed his limits today.

“He stumbled in blind drunk and threw up as soon as he made it to the toilet. He is crying and not even in the state to tell me what happened!” Liam sounded very close to tears and in that moment Harry decided that Liam was a great guy who genuinely loved Louis and would be there to help out his best friend.

Harry hugged him and told him in brief what had happened and that had Liam even more worried.

“Oh no Harry! He once lost a friend to cancer! I was there when it had happened! Jay told me that him taking up this job would surely come with its fair share of pain for Louis because of this experience.” Liam groaned as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

Harry caught the retching noises coming from the toilet and made his way over to it, he saw Louis shaking violently as he clutched the edge of the toilet seat and heaved heartily trying in vain to remove the contents of his stomach, which Harry could see was already pitifully empty.

“Lou! Come one, love! It’s okay! Get up now.” Harry rubbed along his back and he felt that Louis’ skin was cold even through the fabric. He held back his fringe from Louis’ clammy forehead and whispered soothingly in to his ears.

After sometime, Louis could finally extricate himself from the washroom but swayed dangerously on the spot but Harry held onto him close as he made him wash his face and mouth.

All the time he whispered sweet nothings to him to ease his nerves. Liam has busied himself to remove Louis’ shoes and he was also holding him by his waist.

As they carried Louis back to the bedroom, Harry remembered that Liam had initially called to say something important.

“Liam, you had called Louis because he had something important to say?” Harry asked.

Liam looked at Harry as if he had lost memories of life before this incident and gaped at him for a minute before shaking his head and coming back to his sense.

“Yeah, I had to go over to a friend’s place for my project work and staying over there but it’s okay now. I will stay with Louis.” Liam said his eyes fixed on Louis who was currently pressed against Harry with his face nuzzled in his neck.

“Don’t be ridiculous Liam! I am here now. You need not miss on your project work!”

“I can’t make you miss out on your life too Harry! You probably have a date with your girlfriend or something and I just ruined it maybe!” Harry stilled momentarily before relaxing into a smile.

“Liam, you are a darling really. You are a good friend and I take pride in being there for my friends in time of need and no, I don’t have a girlfriend.” Harry added after an afterthought.

Something about Harry’s voice made Liam look into Harry’s eyes and his lips formed an O, understanding the unspoken words.

This made Louis look at Louis’ sleeping form and Harry caught something of sadness and pity.

“Thank you Harry, I owe you really. I will bring breakfast for us tomorrow morning.” Liam said.

He gave Harry a one arm hug and pecked Louis in his forehead before he made his way out of the door. As he closed his door he turned back and looked at Louis again and felt his chest tighten for his friend. He was going through so much in the recent days and he understood the major reason too.

Harry laid Louis carefully down on the bed taking care not to jostle him too much. As he moved to get the duvet from the foot of the bed to roll it over Louis he felt himself pulled back as Louis was clutching the collar of his jacket where his hand had rested priorly.

“Lou?”

“Harry, be with me?” Louis barely whispered with his eyes half closed.

Harry paused and looked at Louis, wrecked in his current state and leaned in to push back his fringe from his forehead and gently brush his hand to his cheek as he smoothened his brows with his thumb.

“Okay.” Harry removed jacket from Louis clutch and went around the bed to slip in near Louis, he removed his T shirt and pants and laid down gently. He pulled the duvet over both of them. Instinctively Louis turned to face Harry and placed his head against his chest. Harry hooked him with his chin and sighed. He shivered when Louis’ fingers slowly trailed over Harry’s stomach to his waist. A desperate monad escaped Harry’s mouth but he cut it short biting his lip harshly. He was thank full that Louis did not notice in his drunken state.

He placed his arm over Louis’ and it went all the way over to his back which made Louis scoot even closer so that Harry was completely embracing him.  
Harry hummed and caught his breath as Louis’ cold feet came to touch his ankles. It was adorable that he was this small; Harry could engulf him physically if he wished but presently he just breathed into Louis shampoo and wished the reek of all the alcohol would go away.

“Haz?” Louis asked moving his face closer to Harry whose lungs felt like they had forgotten how to expand.

“Yeah, love?” Harry asked softly and he saw his breath fan over Louis’s hair.

“You are so pretty, Harry. It hurts.” Louis said and Harry’s lips parted in amazement and shock as he registered what Louis had just said but before he could say anything. Louis had pulled his bottom lip by his teeth and was sucking on it gently and Harry gasped as his hold tightened on Louis. Harry pressed himself closer to Louis and his hand shifted to his bum and he groaned at how firm and round they felt under his hand. Louis kitten licked Harry’s lips before smiling and pulling back leaving Harry short of breath and frankly quite out of his mind.

“Good Night, Haz” Louis said and it was suddenly very quite.

It took Harry 2 minutes to recover his breath and will his erection to die down, he had just kissed Louis Tomlinson. No, he had just been _kissed_ by Louis Tomlinson. He smiled as he touched his lips where Louis had bitten him. He knew Louis would not recall any of this but Harry knew till the day he die he would never quite get the feel of Louis’ lips off his mind.

“Oh god Lou, your hangover would be a soul-less bitch tomorrow.” Harry said as he hugged the little boy closer to him and felt sleep claiming him.

Louis made some noise in the back of throat and pushed himself deeper into Harry’s warmth.

  
Harry knew that this might just get awkward with Louis later in the morning but right now he could think of nothing other than how petit and vulnerable Louis was in his arms.  All his worries about Louis and Jeremy can rest for the nights and with that Harry fell asleep his lips pressed in Louis’s hair.


	12. Hugs, cuddles and confessions

Louis had always been a light sleeper and that is why his flickered open when he felt an unusual sensation for so late in the night. He moaned lowly before he understood just what was happening and his eyes flew open. He gasped as he felt big hands pumping his achingly hard cock lazily. His heart dropped to his stomach and simultaneously tried to come out of his mouth as he turned to look at a very smug looking Harry.

“Harry.” Louis could only whisper brokenly as he closed his eyes and bathed in the ecstasy. Harry’s hand covered almost all of his dick and he was so hard, so horny that his back arched away from the bed at each pump.

“Haz, I want- _more_ ” Louis bit his lip as words slipped out of his mouth on their own accord but at the moment he was a hostage to his needy betraying body.

“Do you want me inside you, Lou?” Harry asked in a sultry voice and Louis was sure he must have died somewhere along the night and this some fetishist way to ascend to heaven.

“Take me, Hazza. Make me yours.” Louis whispered as his right hand draped over his eyes and left hand tried touching his own cock.

“Tut tut tut. Tonight you come when I am inside you, Lou. Filling you with my come and drinking yours.” Harry whispered filthily against Louis’ ears and a violent shudder raked Louis’ body bringing him close to his orgasm but Harry clamped his hand at the base of Louis’ cock and kept him from reaching the crest. From his angle Louis could see that Harry didn’t look as much in control as he sounded.

“ _Now!_ ” Louis whispered furiously as Harry’s fingers ghosted over Louis’ puckered hole. Harry chuckled and picked up his pant from near the bed and got two small sachets out of his back pocket.

He opened the one with Lube and coated his fingers with it.

“Been waiting for so long to make love to you, Lou. Wanted you for so long.” Harry said as he pushed one long slicked finger inside and Louis gasp was stifled by Harry’s kiss, deepening by the second and Louis almost didn’t notice when Harry slipped in the second finger and began scissoring open. Louis broke the kiss when Harry put in the third finger and Louis back arched magnificently and he moaned rather pornographically.

“So needy for me, my love. So ready.” Harry sounded almost too lost, too gone for his own good and Louis’ was cock twitching and throbbing with pain and neglect.

Louis pulled Harry into another heated breath and felt like all dreams were finally coming true at the moment. Harry drew back a little a trail of saliva following their lips and looked into Louis eyes, time stood suspended and Louis was certain he’d take a thousand deaths if this is what follows.

“You are beautiful, Lou, absolutely gorgeous.” Harry whispered in the shell of Louis ear and breached his entrance simultaneously. Louis hadn’t even realised that Harry had put on the condom. His eyes pricked with pain but he bit his bottom lip harshly to stop from screaming out.

“I’ll be gentle, love. Hold on.” Louis simply nodded, already adjusting to the pain. Harry moved his own cock in lazy eight inside Louis and flicked his tongue over Louis’ perky nipples. Louis threw his head back and bit his arm to prevent himself from screaming. Harry smiled and held Louis’ hips in his hands and started moving slowly and suddenly Louis fell silent, his breath getting hitched with every thrust, making it impossible for him to even talk. Harry closed his eyes and deepened his thrust inside Louis who was drenched in sweat and whose hand seemed to be roaming over Harry’s body just because he needed something anything to _touch._

“So close.” Harry whispered brokenly as his thrusts became erratic yet urgent and Louis found himself quietly murmuring Harry’s name.

“Hazza, Harry. Oh my God. I want you. I need you. Fuck me good Hazza. Deeper. Deeper.”

“Shit you talk so much.” Harry bit into Louis collarbone and took up a frantic pace which got the headboard shaking and Louis making desperate noises ‘ung ung ung’.  
As Louis climax hit him he blessed out and saw white behind his eyelids, his face buried in the crook of Harry’s neck biting down hard on his shoulder while Harry continued to thrust for a while chasing his own orgasm and screamed Louis name as he came deep inside Louis.

Louis woke up with jot, his duvet sticking to his riled up and hot body, he was gasping like he was drowning and his chest hurt as if his lungs had ice in them. He looked around frantically, almost deranged to understand what was happening and saw a peaceful looking Harry sleeping beside him, snoring softly, oblivious to the world and Louis’ condition. He ran a hand through his damp hair and pressed it against his mouth to ease his breathing. He had just had a vivid wet dream regarding a guy who also happened to be his colleague and friend and he was screwed, literally and figuratively. He got up slowly so as to not wake up Harry and made his way over to the washroom to wash his face. He looked into the mirror and saw a pale ghost of his own face looking back at him. Somehow he managed to bring himself back to bed and sleep caught with him again but this time thankfully it remained dreamless.

* * *

 

Harry woke up either very cold or very warm as he had a habit of tossing and turning around in bed, sometimes he’d have managed to get the duvet on the floor or would have it on himself in multiple layers and suffocating him by the time he woke up in alarm. But rarely had he arisen to tangled limbs and hot breath against his neck.

His eyes flew as this finally registered soft fingers on his stomach and turned his face a little to see that overnight his arm had become a pillow for Louis, whose other hand came up to curl near his lips.

Harry could only hope that Louis would not wake up right now because of how his heart was thumping wildly against his rib cage, sending obvious tremors to Louis’ hand. He desperately wanted to hold it and press it gently to his chest and to be able to look into Louis’ eyes rather than his sleeping form. But for now, Harry admired how the shaft of light feel square on Louis eyes and lips, making his eyelashes cast soft shadows against his cheeks and lips look bubblegum pink. 

His hair was tousled from the night but Harry loved how some of it could still manage to fall on his closed eyelids. He picked his free hand to brush them away but he stopped as he did not dare touch him. While his hands hovered above Louis’ face he noticed the dents on the bridge of his nose that the glasses created and sighed softly as he thought about how sexy Louis looked in his glasses. He just couldn’t bring himself to break this breathtaking moment. He took whole of Louis’ face before turning back to look up at the ceiling sighing deeply because of all the signals his heart was sending him.

Suddenly he heard a little whine from Louis and turned towards him in concern, he saw Louis scrunch his eyes against the direct sunlight and Harry felt himself smile a little at how adorable Louis managed to look right then, he shifted and raised himself in the elbow currently forming Louis’ pillow and positioned himself so as to block the direct sunlight and his brow immediately relaxed, surprisingly so did Harry’s heart. Harry chuckled at his own emotions this particular morning.

He wished nothing better than to kiss Louis but there were just so many barriers between them, the major one being Louis’ sexuality.

It slowly crept up on Harry that if should wake up at this moment he might not be very pleased with the creepy tendencies of Harry and he decided to make a move. He glanced at Louis again wistfully and got up to stretch a little, his bones cracking. He twisted his torso both sides to get rid of the tightness and moved towards the kitchen to make them tea.

Louis felt a dull pain in his forehead which was throbbing in perfect sink with the pain behind his eyes, the sudden pain had left him speechless but as he opened his eyes to cry in protest he saw a sight which made him momentarily forget any pain that he was feeling. Harry lay near with the duvet covering only half of his torso. The sunlight was streaming through his hair a little before falling directly on his eyes which blinded him but he shifted his head a tiny bit and tilted his head up to look at Harry’s perfect red lips and perfect porcelain skin. The sunlight passing over his eyes making them look like clear glass and it was not too long before he realised that his head was currently over his hand and it must be hurting him but he loved it far too much, whole of his body touching some part of Harry and he closed his eyes and groaned in helplessness.

 

He immediately felt Harry turning to look at him but he did not move as he did not want Harry to go away but instead he felt Harry prop up on his elbow and block the sunlight that was streaming in and it took a valiant effort from him to not sigh and bury his face under Harry’s chin. He moved away after a while and Louis dared take a little peak but honestly he had not regretted anything in his life as much as he regretted that because harry stood with his back to Louis and he was stretching to remove the knots from his body.

Only that his torso was blocking the light creating a halo around his body and making faint outlines of his strong biceps and back muscles as they rolled under his skin. Also the low waistline of his jeans was not helping either. He thought foolishly that this might be some grand joke from heaven played solely on Louis to ruin him but then the headache returned full force and now he was sure that it was infact a death trap in reality. He bit his lips to stop himself from screaming as he did not want Harry to know that he was awake and so he held on for some another 5 minutes before he could not take it anymore and groaned in pain.

As Harry was done pouring the tea into the cups he heard a loud groan from Louis’ bedroom and knew that Louis had to be up.

As he entered the bedroom with the teacups on a tray he saw Louis had buried his face into his pillow and was using another pillow to smother his face deeper. He was groaning non-stop.

“Well serves you right for drinking away the whole bar in one night.” Harry chided.

Harry was sure he heard a profanity and chuckled.

“I am going to throw up if I move a muscle. I swear Harry.” Louis’s voice barely filtering through the pillows.

“You will be fine Lou; I have made tea for you!” Harry said putting on a bright voice.

“I love you.” It slipped out of his mouth before Louis could stop it and he blamed it on his hangover and post sex haze, well sort of. What he did not see was that Harry almost ended up upending the tray he was holding as he fumbled on these words.

Louis didn’t move for another one minute but when he did it was to get up in a mad rush and dash towards the toilet to hurl unceremoniously. It was only bile as he had had nothing to eat last night but he continued to gag and shivered like a leaf.

Harry came to kneel by him and pushed back his hair from his forehead and rub soft circles again, just like last night. Louis managed to get up after a while but he swayed on his feet and fell back on Harry, almost losing consciousness. Harry grunted because of the weight but took him towards the basin to make him wash his face and splash his mouth a little. To Harry’s surprise Louis turned around and started crying into Harry’s chest

“It hurts! My head hurts!” Louis held Harry from his waist and tried burying himself deeper into Harry just to dull the mean throb in his head.   

Harry was taken aback before he pulled Louis in completely and bowed his head to place his cheek against Louis’ forehead.

“I know, honey. I will get you painkillers. Just keep holding me.”

Louis barely whimpered.

Harry squeezed Louis one more time before removing his left hand and sift through the cupboard in look for pain-killers and muttered a silent ‘Yes’ when he found it.

“Come on Lou, take this pain killer and then the tea and then you will sleep again until the time out good man Liam comes home with breakfast.” 

Louis barely managed to nod his head in response going still as the world tilted itself again because of the movement and his knees gave way. Harry was quick to react as he held him tight,

“Jesus Lou! Never to a bar EVER!”

He made Louis take the tablet and made him drink the tea by rubbing his lower back to comfort him and talking to him in his smooth voice, he tucked Louis back to bed when he was done and sat their carding his finger through Louis’ hair. He saw the screen of phone light up and picked it up with the free hand and smiled as he saw 10 missed calls and 4 messages, 2 from Zayn and 2 from Niall.

_**From: Nialler** _

_**HARRRREH! M out wid Amy!! Freeeak! Xx :D** _

_**8:05 p.m.** _

Harry smiled broadly as he recalled Amy being the girl Niall had been pining over for the last month; she was the cute waitress from the café Niall usually went to.

_**From: Zayniee** _

_**Hazza, why aren’t you home by now? I am worried! L** _

_**9:02 p.m.** _

__

_**From: Nialler** _

_**Where are you mate? Zayn called. He is scared shitless.** _

_**9:30 p.m.** _

__

_**From: Zayniee** _

_**Really freaking out, I called Niall and he had no clue too!! Please reply ASAP!** _

_**1:14 a.m.** _

Harry winced mentally at how worried Zayn was sounding even through his text and he dreaded the inevitable he’ll have to make but he hit the call button anyways.

Zayn picked up at the first ring.

“Harry!! Are you okay? Tell me where are you? What happened? Why didn’t you reply? Oh my god I was so _SO_ worried! Harry!” Zayn sounded like he hadn’t slept all night and had possibly cried in his worry and frustration.

Harry wanted to cry and laugh at Zayn outburst but mostly he wanted to hug Zayn as tight as possible.

He began hesitantly,

“Zayn, calm down buddy. I am abso-flippin-lutely fine! I just happened to stay over at Liam’s and Louis’ last night as Louis had gotten into some mess last night and I had to help out Liam. I was so worried myself last night that I completely forgot to drop a message for you. So sorry.” Harry finished with deep felt apology.

“Oh Harry! Don’t be sorry, I was just- ah! Never mind! How’s Louis? What happened?” Zayn enquired finally sounding like himself.

“I will tell you when I am home. I will meet you for Lunch and really so sorry again Zaynie. I love you.” Harry hung his head.

“I love you too Harry. Please do take care.”

“Yep!” and Harry cut the phone and exhaled loudly having that sorted. Next he went on to reply to Niall.

_**To Nialler:** _

_**Heeey! I am all fine! Last night got messed up!** _

_**So Amy haaa? What went down then? ;) ;)** _ **_  
_POOR STANLEY THO! :P_ _ **

_**7:15 a.m.** _

He pressed send and kept the phone back on the table and turned back his attention to Louis again.

It wasn’t too long before sleep claimed him too lulled to a trance by the feeling Louis’ hair in between his fingers, much before the cell phone pinged with a new text message.

He woke up next when someone shook him gently by placing a hand on his shoulder. He looked up groggily at Liam and looked down again that his hand was resting near Louis’ hair and he had fallen asleep on the very same arm. He rubbed his eyes and smiled at Liam then.

“Good Morning Liam! Project work done?”

Liam smiled at Harry and went down on his knees at Harry’s level and hugged him tight,

“Thank you Harry for being here. I don’t think I can really ever thank you enough. You are the best.” Liam gushed softly.

Harry blushed pink as he picked a spot in the duvet.

“Oh come on Li! It’s nothing. He is my mate too. I lo-like to take care of him.” Harry wanted to avoid all things ‘love’ related but Liam caught on anyways.

“Harry, I know right now it’s not what you want out of him but I hope it turns out to be for the best.”

Harry didn’t need an explanation to understand what Liam had meant but he did reach out to take Liam’s hand in his and squeezed it gently.

“Thank you, Li. Your saying this, means a lot to me.” Harry choked out.

“Well I have food! Let’s raise the princess and eat!”

  
When Louis finally woke up he was decidedly better but still unsteady on his feet but he brightened immediately as they put on BONES for him to see. Liam had brought over triple decker sandwiches from a shop he swore by and Harry was quick to accept as a moan escaped his lips. ( _Godddd! This is orgasmic!_ ) Which made Louis choke on his sandwich and blush furiously as he remembered last night.

The morning was spent with Louis’ drinking in the show, ( _Oh I would have LOVED to be a forensic anthropologist if I had that skill!_ )

Teasing Liam until he turned red in the face, ( _Oh he has a huge crush on Booth. He has a fetish for uniforms._ )

And furtive glances between Louis and Harry. Louis had thanked him for taking care of him but no one mentioned them sleeping together as neither trusted themselves with the topic. Louis’ eyes still looked painful as he ogled at the TV screen but he protested when they asked him to relax a little. Harry smiled at how stubborn he could be when he wanted, ( _Oh you are SUCH a kid Louis!_ )

At around 10 Harry got up from his place on the sofa to leave as he had to get to his flat, shower and meet Zayn for lunch and beg for his forgiveness.

On the door he hugged Liam who was still thanking him profusely but when it came to Louis he hugged him just a little longer,

“Please don’t scare me like that again, Lou. We will make Jeremy alright. I swear.” The only thing Louis could think about as he hugged him back was who was to take care of his heart that he was so close to breaking. Who would promise him that?  

As Harry showered, he felt surges of so many emotions that he started wondering whether something has broken inside of him. He felt himself wanting to cry again as he thought about the previous day, scared for Louis’ health, how fragile he had been. He smiled as he recalled the relief when he saw Louis safe and he broke into a grin when images of Louis curled up around him flashed before his eyes. He stood there for a long time letting himself immerse in his thoughts while the water washing away the emotion he willed to hold on to and brought the next one.

He wasn’t particularly hungry when lunch came but he had promised Zayn and he also knew that Zayn deserved an explanation, he had been out when Harry made it back. He had left a note that he has to talk to a friend of his who knew people in the music industry, which made Harry feel even guiltier as Zayn had no time to sleep even when he felt relaxed enough to.

As soon as he was done with cleaning the apartment a little and was just about to get ready to head out, the keys jangled on the lock announcing Zayn.

He frowned in surprise as he headed towards the door, Zayn wasn’t supposed to be home. Harry had decided to treat him to this lunch out some place. 

He raised his eyebrow at Zayn as he came in with packets from their favourite Chinese take away.

“Not fair!! I had to treat you Zayn!” Harry whined.

Zayn didn’t say a word but put the package on the table and came over to hug him, tight and with an undercurrent of desperation

“Oh Zayn! I am fine you know! I feel so bad really!” Harry whispered as he hugged Zayn back, smiling a little at his friend’s adorance.

“I brought food so that we could talk in privacy you know, I feel like there is so much going on with you and me but we are just not getting the time to catch up anymore.”

“I know Zayn, I am just getting busy with the hospital but that does not make an excuse. I love you; you should know that by the way.”

“Yes Harry, I do to.”

 And when they separated Harry could finally see that Zayn was fully relaxed and this made him feel plenty better about his day.

Harry went into the kitchen to get then plates and water and plopped down on the sofa with his feet over Zayn’s lap, his back against the arm rest.

“Speak now my child.” Zayn said sagely.

Harry rolled his eyes before he began,

“Well, you know there is this really adorable kid, Jeremy in the hospital. He is so bright and happy and so well mannered, it’s amazing really.” He looked up to meet Zayn eye and saw him observing him seriously, so he continued,

“Uh, yesterday his report came in and he is diagnosed with cancer.” This time Harry couldn’t look up to meet Zayn’s eyes again as he felt himself chocking and holding back tears, he felt Zayn remove his legs from his lap to position Harry against his chest, arm coming around Harry’s shoulders.

“He is just so small, Zayn. I don’t want this to happen.” Harry was sobbing now, he tried holding back the tears that came but as Zayn gently rubbed him arm with his fingers he leaned into him and let it all go. He cried for sometime all the while listening to Zayn comforting him and rocking him gently.

After pulling in broken breaths Harry managed to get a hold of himself.

“Lou took it so hard! He drank so much and Liam was panicking and I got so worried! I couldn’t see him like that, all broken. I stayed over with him and comforted him. I-I just held him and it made him feel better, Zayn. How could I have left him?” Harry’s voice was barely a whisper as he finished but he felt an odd comfort in his heart, grateful that he could speak to Zayn about this.

“Jeremy is a young strong boy, Hazza. And you are so talented, infact Louis and Niall and Stan everyone! I don’t think for a minute than anything will come to happen to him.” Harry’s eyes flitted in between Zayn’s to check weather that was just comfort talk or Zayn really meant it and he saw nothing but firm determination, he felt a lot of the pressure dissipating and smiled.

“But Harry, are you hurting over Louis?” Now it was Harry’s turn to be transfixed at Zayn as he gazed back calmly.

Harry could have said a straight no and he knew Zayn would have had the decency to not say a word after it but Zayn was his best friend and he had never hidden anything from him.

“I think I might be falling for him, Zayn.” Harry didn’t like the way his voice sounded all broken and flinched at how much worse it’ll sound to Zayn.

Zayn sighed and shifted to capture Harry in a fully fledged hug again,

“Hazza, any man on this planet to be so lucky to have you but right now you can’t let things get out of hand. We don’t even know that side of Louis yet.” Harry knew Zayn was right and he was scared of this uncertainty. He could literally feel it constricting his air way even tighter day by day.

“I couldn’t help it Zayn, he is possibly everything I want. I don’t know!” Harry wailed, why this happening to him all of a sudden? He wanted to fall in love, he had always wanted to find a love and have his happily ever after but then why could it not be a smooth sail?

“Hussshh.. Listen, Haz. I will do my best to get it out in the open. Does he know about you though?” Zayn asked.

“No… it has never come up. Louis is touchy over sexuality topics as far as I know.”

Zayn hummed in response and released him.

“I know this is twisted but everything that happens, happens for a fucking good reason. You need to be my strong boy yeah?”

“Yeah, I know. Thank you.”     

 “Oh Hazza! You don’t have to thank me!” and Zayn ruffled Harry’s hair.

“By the Ziam coming very strong ha?” Harry grinned at Zayn, his mood decidedly light.

Zayn bit his lip as he focused on his woven fingers. “I really like him too, Harry. He is really something.”

And the next 10 minutes were spent in Harry cooing over a very blushing Zayn and making obscene kissing noises.

“You MUST meet him tomorrow for Lunch, Zayn! No I will not have no for an answer, I am calling him and you are talking!” Harry grabbed Zayn’s phone that was kept on the table and dialled Liam’s number while fending off Zayn’s attempt at stopping him. They ran over the sofa and around the table before the call finally went through and Harry squealed in delight.

“It’s connected! Zayn!!”

It was after two rings that a slightly breathless Liam picked his phone.

“Zayn?” Liam said hopefully.

(Give the phone Harry. Gimme!.)

“His roomie mate!” his chuckle cut short as he grunted, Zayn had chucked his shoe at his stomach.

“Oh Harry. Yeah?” and it was easy to hear the disappointment.

(GIVE THE DARN PHONE HARRY! I SWEAR I WILL KILL YOU, YOU LITTLE _SHIT_ )

“Oh Li! Don’t be so disappointed now! You knight is right here!”     

Having said that he threw the phone up in the air and winked at Zayn before moving towards his room, laughing.

“Uh Liam, Hey.”

Harry listened from the door as Zayn and Liam chatted for a while before Zayn finally asked him out for tomorrow, his cheeks hurting owning to his manic grin.

As Zayn put down his phone slightly dazed harry just couldn’t resist adding,

“Now Now my blushing love, don’t you prey on that poor darling tomorrow. Jesus, such DESPERATION!” Harry fanned himself with his hand, he hastily closed the door as Zayn aimed the other shoe him.

 “I love you too Zayn!!” Harry cackled and could faintly hear Zayn’s laughter filtering through the door and he really did love him.

If only he could love Louis without so much thought, he sighed a little before threw himself bodily on his bed with his knuckled pressing against his eyelid. Breathing heavily to try and ease the pain in his chest.

In the evening Harry Skyped with Anne, who was seriously concerned over the dark circled he had seemed to develop overnight.

“Darling, are you alright?” Anne asked peering at him, anxiety colouring her voice.

“It’s the internship mum, it’s really tiring. Satisfying too but like… every case becomes so personal and then you start worrying and it’s just that.” Harry wished he could be near his mum right now because he knew that Anne would have hugged him and kissed his forehead and he’d felt better instantly.

When Anne asked Harry things in detail he told her about Jeremy and he smiled as she reassured him that Louis and he can cure any person and Jeremy was a pure soul and so no harm will come to him.

“How is Louis doing, son?” Harry had told Anne so much about Louis that Anne had started to care about Louis too.

“He was in a pathetic state mum. He just takes his job so so seriously you know, when he got the news he almost cried and then got so drunk that I had to go over to his place and take care of him. He is just so sweet isn’t he?” Harry had been picking at the fabric of his sheets and as he glanced up at the screen he saw Anne smiling at him with a mixture of fond and worry.

“He felt better after you took care of him?” Harry couldn’t meet her eyes when he nodded.

“Well, why don’t you bring him home the next holiday you get?”

“Uh- I will have to ask him.. but sure mum.” Harry didn’t notice how it came over him but he was grinning as he responded and had to again look away to hide his face.

“I will be looking forward to it Harry. Gem says she misses you!”

“Tell her I love her mum and I love you. I will talk to you later. Have to go through some case files.”

“I am so proud of you. Take care!”

And after this Harry really did feel good. He had never been a quitter and he’ll try and get around the hurdles in his path. He’ll not mope over the case or Louis but instead keep working towards it relentlessly and he’ll achieve what he deserves and that is why he smiled as picked up his phone and called.

Louis was busy playing FIFA with Liam when his phone rang and he leaned over to the table to look at the name all the while fiddling with his controller. As soon as he saw the flashing name his heart lurched in his heart and he missed the football to Liam who goaled easily

“Hey!!! No fair!! I had a call!” Louis whined, chucking his controller at Liam in annoyance.

“Sucker!” Liam was full of glee as rarely he got the chance to score against Louis and he was happy that he could even when it was a mere slip on Louis’ part.

“Huh! Arsehole you are Li!”

“Shut up and take that call. I will go cook us dinner.”

Louis picked the phone and immediately moved towards his balcony, he saw Liam look at him questioningly as Louis was never secretive about his calls but Louis chose to ignore that.

“Hey Harry.” Louis said softly the wind raising goose bumps on his arms; October had rolled in and with it had come the persistent chill and the drizzles.

“How are you, Lou?”

“I am so much better Harry. Liam told me what happened last night and how you took over as he had to leave. Means a lot, really.” Louis said as he hugged his denim jacket closer to him.

“You know it’s nothing right? I had to. I was so worried.” Harry’s voice dropped towards the last part and Louis felt his heart tug at the younger boy’s sentiment.

“You know I was thinking that how baldy I reacted to this. I let myself fall apart like this when my job dictates me to stay strong for myself and others and I just went ahead and got so fragile. I can’t do this to you Jeremy and you. Look how worried you got over me when our focus should be Jeremy at the moment. I can’t tell you how proud I am of you for keeping your calm, Harry. Here I am your senior and shit but acting like nothing better than a 10 year old.” Louis felt ashamed of his breakdown and Harry could hear that.

 “Lou, please listen to me. Liam told me what happened when you were young and please never think that I don’t get how much strain this has put on you. Even if you had a breakdown I know it is only because you love Jeremy and I appreciate this so much. I look up to you Louis and in any case I am always there for you. You need not worry. You and I will take care of him.” Harry rubbed the arm holding the phone as he spoke what he felt about the situation and he hoped that Louis could hear his nervousness but just his affection.

“Oh God, Harry. You are something else you know.” Louis shivered as a gust of wind blew over him and he could barely keep his teeth from chattering.

“Lou!! Are you out in the open? Do you want to catch a bloody cold? Get inside you dimwit!!” Harry almost screamed into his phone.

“Jeez mum! Sure. Just, like… means a lot, Haz. Really does.”

“I know Lou.” And with that they wished each other good night and kept the phone both of them lost in their conversation and smiling because of the other.

The next day Harry poked his head into Nick’s cabin and gave him his best smile.

“You bedazzle me, Styles! So why do I the pleasure of being assaulted by your gracious smile?” Nick grinned and Harry laughed as he moved into his room and settled down on the chair.

“I really have to thank you mostly. You gave us the break both of us needed yesterday and it’s so much better now. I came to promise you that we’ll work very hard on this case and will not let you down.” Harry was the epitome of enthusiasm as he sat with his hands clasped in front of him on the table sitting on the edge of his chair.

Nick put both of his hands on Harry’s and leaned forward too, smiling gently.

“That’s the spirit Harry. I will have to thank Louis too for getting his focus back right on time. I am sincerely proud of my juniors. God take me if I am lying!”

As both of them sat their smiling at each other hands clasped, Louis came opened the gate to greet Nick when his eyes fell on the scene on front of him, his smile faltered momentarily before he regained his composure and came inside.

“Are we celebrating?” Louis asked looking between the two of them and their pointedly at their hands  which made Harry look where he is looking and draw back instantly, his eyes somewhat guilty but Louis pretended not to notice.

“Louis my man! Harry came in to tell me this great news that both of you young lads have decided to look past the grief and work towards it in a focused manner. I was just telling him how proud I am!” Nick said jovially.

“Well I could easily see that.” Louis sounded a little sarcastic event to himself but Nick seemed to be unfazed.

“Harry is a great lad here. He is cool!”

“Is he now?” Louis attention was not pointed exactly at Harry and he might have narrowed his eyes a little.

Harry looked clearly uncomfortable but there was no way to get past this hurdle, “Nope! S’cool!” 

Louis narrowed his eyes a fraction more before laughing and patting Nick on the back.

“Always the charmer, sir!” He winked at Nick and got out of the room without looking back at Harry who hastened after him.

“Lou! LOU!” Louis was gritting his teeth as he turned and Harry stopped in his track.

“How are you?” Harry sounded so sincerely that Louis felt his anger ebbing.

He stepped towards Harry taking his hand in his,

“I am alright Harry. I know I have to talk to Jer’s parents today and I am like on the edge? But I won’t break down. I won’t.” Louis was gazing at their hands when Harry raised his other hand to move the fringe from Louis’ forehead.

“You look really nice today, Lou” Harry said softly. The ordeals from previous night had left them so much more comfortable with each other and Harry couldn’t help but be more smitten with Louis.

Louis looked down at himself; he wore a mauve shirt today tucked in loosely in his black denims and the white lab coat made him look delectable in Harry’s opinion.

“You don’t look so bad yourself popstar!” Louis had dropped his hand and gently nudged Harry with his shoulder, his heart fluttering softly as he realised that he his shoulder came someway above Harry’s elbow and it’s not like Harry didn’t appreciate how petite and adorable Louis was but he held Louis’ eyes who blushed slightly.

He recalled having put beige cartridge jeans and red V neck that showed off his collarbone. The wings of the swallows tattooed on his chest would have been on display if he hadn’t put on his lab coat which made him presentable for something as formal as a hospital.

“It’s just OK, Lou.” Harry mumbled.

“Come on let’s meet Jer and his parents. We need to be strong for them so that they have the confidence that we have this in control.” Louis said.

“Well that shouldn’t be hard ‘cuz we do have this in control.” Harry said it such intensity, with his eyes holding Louis’ that he had to fight an urge to hug him. Louis knew he can’t and that he shouldn’t to keep things easier for himself.

Louis took charge of talking to Mr. and Mrs. Eriksen, partly because he was senior and partly because he was taking charge of Jeremy now. It was like yesterday had never happened in Lou’s life. If Harry hadn’t been there to witness Louis breaking apart into pieces he wouldn’t have believed it all.

As Harry sat with Jeremy on his bed, Louis talked to his parents outside,

“Hey buddy! How are you?”

“My headaches are so bad now some days. I cry too. But then mom says I should close my eyes and wish them gone and I do that. But it hurts, Harry.” Harry looked into Jeremy’s chubby face and innocent grey eyes and as he brushed back his honey blond hair he wished with all his heart for the little boy to get cured.

“You are just a little sick soldier, it will hurt a tiny little once in a while but I know you will be okay yeah? For me, Louis and your parents?”

Before Jeremy could reply Louis came in with Jeremy’s parents who were so close to tears that Harry started fearing that Jeremy might know something is wrong. He did not want him to worry.

But as they came to stand near him, Mr. Eriksen held his wife’s shoulder and steadied her; both of them smiled down at Jeremy and kissed his forehead.

Jeremy seemed to be weighing Harry’s words from earlier and Harry smiled when Jeremy’s face brightened.

“You and Louis are the best! I will do this for you, you know? What will you do for me then?”

“OOO, what do you want us to do little one?” Louis asked as he tickled his toes.

He giggled and squirmed away into Harry’s embrace and clutched his shirt, Harry wrapped him up in his big hands, one hand spanning the length of Jeremy’s waist.

“Hey! You get off Jer here!” Harry said in mock anger.

“I will make you promise something big Louis! I will not tell now!” and Louis laughed at what was an evil glint in the little boy’s eyes. He couldn’t be more smitten with him even if he tried.

“Okay, Sir Jeremy Sir, I will wait for that day then!” Louis winked at him and Harry gave him a little hug as they moved out of the ward to give him time with his parents.

Both of them exhaled when they came out and stood there with their head bowed.

“Well, that went well.”

“Yeah… hey I’m really hungry. Should I check on Nialler and Stan to see if they wanna join us?”

“Yeah, You talk to them I will go talk to the lab about Mrs. Smith’s report.”

They both promised to meet at exactly 15 minutes at the same spot and parted ways.

And for a while things were good enough for Harry, he was taking things positively now. If Louis wasn’t here maybe Jeremy would not have had a doctor to love him as much, maybe if Louis wasn’t here, he wouldn’t have been this comfortable within a month but then did Louis feel the same way at all. Guess he’d never know.


	13. All about knowing each other

Niall and Stan were busy with a case they had and they passed on lunch and as Louis met Harry where they were supposed to he saw Harry was grinning wickedly at his cell phone, furiously typing a message and chuckling to himself.

“Something I am missing here, Haz?” Louis asked with his eyebrow raised.

“Hey listen, Nialler and Stan bailed. They have to work. You and I can head out to outside yeah? If it’s not a bother?” Harry asked hesitantly.

Louis observed Harry’s face slightly taken aback. This was _NOT_ a date and Harry hadn’t even hinted of it but then why his heart acting funny? At the very moment the wind ruffled the curtains and a shaft of light fell on Harry’s eyes blinding him momentarily and Louis resisted an urge to step up and shield Harry’s eyes himself.

“Yes, Harry. It’d be a great change!” Louis smiled as he tucked the file under his armpit.

“I will go and prescribe Mrs. Smith’s medicines and be back ASAP. You wait for me yeah?”

“Obviously, Lou! We are going out together remember?” Harry laughed casually enough but it still made Louis stop and look at him caught up in his laugh.

“Yeah, fool of me.” Louis shook his head and went on his way. Harry’s heart was doing the hoopla hoop somewhere near his throat. He had asked Louis casually but his reaction had been precious. He was sure that if Zayn would have been here, he’d have teased him to no end.

Speaking of Zayn…

“You set them up Hazza?” Louis asked in disbelief breaking into a grin soon after.

They sat at a restaurant nearby, having the window booth so catch the rare sun.

Sadly Harry had chosen the seat which did not have direct sunlight streaming in but Louis felt the sun on his face, he wasn’t complaining for that though. He wanted to witness the sun falling on Harry again; it was like the Sun was claiming a piece for its own. His dimples creating shadows on his cheek.

But for Harry the seating was strategic, he wilfully chose this seat because he wanted Louis sitting where the light would hit Louis’ eyes. He was crazy about Louis’ cerulean eyes and under the sun they became light and beautiful and Harry found himself sighing over them.

“Last night!! Oh man it was brilliant! He was texting about it in the hospital. He is so nervous!” Harry’s eyes were glinting.

“That is precious! Liam didn’t even tell me though!”

Louis pulled out his phone and texted Liam and Zayn both.

 

_**To: Leeyumm** _

_**U hurt me love! U dint telme ur ditchin me for a sexy God of a guy! Watcha wearing? Go for nakedness. ;) :P** _

_**1:03 p.m.** _

__

_**To: Zayn** _

_**Do I need 2 hv d dn’t hurt him otherwise… tok wid ya? Plz do txt me wen he mks a fool of hmslf in frnt of u? ;)**_ ****  
  
1:04 p.m.

__

Louis placed the phone on the table and saw Harry was texting too.

“Hey what did you text?” Louis asked leaning across the booth.

“You show me too?” Harry asked and they exchanged their phones.

_**To: Zayniee** _

_**I assume u hv finished ur tube of hair prodct by nw. U wnt in his pants off this soon? Xx :P** _

_**1:03 p.m.** _

__

_**To: Liam** _

_**My man is raw sexuality in disguise. I hope u hv ur game up!** _ **  
It cant b tht HARD! :P :P**

_**1:03 p.m.** _

__

(Louis couldn’t help but scoff at the bad pun)

__

_**To: Niall, Stan**_ ****  
  
Zayn and Liam on a date! Feel free to harass thm! ;)

_**1:04** _

Louis was grinning and then he was overcome with the need to check who else had messaged him, he pressed back touch key but saw no new name on the screen, he saw his own as ‘Boo’ and bit his cheek to keep from smiling.

He came to home screen as he handed back the phone and got back his to see new messages from both Zayn and Liam.

_**From: Zayn** _

_**Hahaha.. Wil do, but I do fear tht I wil mk a fool of myslf instead. Gv me sm tricks mate! :C** _

_**1:05 p.m.** _

__

_**From: Leeyumm** _ **_  
_I am scared Lou, u r ryt. He is lyk… him. I wil so screw ths up god! LOU!!_ _ **

_**1:06 p.m.** _

__

He replied with two quick replies,

 

_**To: Zayn** _

_**I bet he is scard abt meetin ya. Jst b calm nd u’l score mate! I wish both u children loads of lck! Xx** _ **_  
_1:06 p.m._ _ **

_**To: Leeyumm** _

_**Jst screw hm tday luv! ;) U wil b grt. I knw. Luvya! Xx** _

He pocketed his phone after that and saw harry doing the same his lips tugged in a smile.

“I find it that matchmaking makes me giddy happy!” Harry grinned.

“What else then, Harry? Something else about you we don’t know? Scandalous perhaps?” Louis winked.

“Well, I have a mum, step dad and a sister, Gemma. Zayn is my childhood best friend and I love him to the core. My other friends are Olly, who is a show host of a local chat show and Lou who is in the fashion industry and I am the God father to her beautiful daughter, Lux.”

Louis gaped at Harry, “You are barely an adult yourself! You are a godfather??”

Harry smiled with an expression that clearly said that he had seen the reaction before, “I know what you mean Lou, but when you meet her you’ll know that she is the prettiest girl in existence and to be a part of her life in any way is a privilege. I love her to bits.”

Harry scrolled through his phone and pulled out a picture of a girl who looked of around two years, she was pretty no doubt. Harry took the phone and gazed at it for sometime fond and sadness settling over his delicate features.

Louis was taken over by a sense of gloom himself as he missed his 4 sisters and hadn’t been them in a while. He made a mental note to try his best at getting home this Christmas.

“Hey Haz listen, we will get to meet them soon yeah? So what else? Any love back home? Girlfriend or girlfriends I don’t know!” Louis threw his hands up with a shrug not noticing the flicker of shock on Harry’s features.

Harry knew he should have told it right then, it was the moment to tell him and to ask him in return but he was surprised when he said,

“Nope! No girlfriends!” instead and added nothing to it.

“You? Ever?” He asked instead

Louis placed his glass down and looked over at Harry. “Well I had Hannah back home but we did not work out and then I moved here. Haven’t met anyone since.”

Harry nodded his head in response; he desperately wished that he could consult Zayn again on his opinion about Louis. He seemed to falling for Louis even when he had clearly no idea where he was heading. Harry had never had a major heart break as he had never found anyone to like someone but he knew Louis can easily change that if he so wished.

He couldn’t disturb Zayn with his date though and he wished it could be that easy for them.

“You okay, Harry? You are awfully silent.”

Harry checked his watch and exclaimed.

“Lou! We have been here long enough. We need to be back!”

Louis barely looked at Harry with admiration; he hadn’t thought that the intern allotted to him would be this responsible in such young age and easy on the eye too.

As they headed out from the warmth of the restaurant to the chill outside, Louis’ glasses fogged up which made him stop in his tracks to remove them and wipe them with the corner of his shirt, riding it up in the process which showed a sliver of Louis’ V line and a little tummy and Harry was sure he was blushing furiously. God when had he become such a teenager? He wondered.

Once back, both of them went about their work. Harry got involved in the diagnostic lab for a bit and learned the various chemical assays and dropped by to give Jeremy a chocolate bar he had bought on the way.

“Shh! Tell no one!” Harry had winked at little Jeremy who had squealed in joy.

By the end of the day Harry had received no text from Zayn and when he had messaged from himself, he had not got any response.

As he unlocked the door, he was surprised to find that the lights were turned down and there was no sound from the flat. He would have thought Zayn wasn’t even home when he saw his silhouette on the sofa and he knew what was wrong with Zayn even before he had stepped in, after years of friendship Harry knew Zayn like the back of his hand.

He placed his bag near the door and removed his shoes and he saw Zayn bury his head in his hands and it broke Harry’s heart.

Harry removed his jacket and went in to get the blanket off his bed before he came and placed it over Zayn and got in himself. He didn’t say a word but pulled Zayn near him and cradled his head near his chest, running his fingers though his hair.

They remained silent for long as Zayn sobbed and as it subsided Harry finally whispered to Zayn,

“So the first option or second, Zaynie?” and he felt Zayn pulling Harry closer to him as if afraid that he’d just get up and leave, like Harry could ever.

“First Harry.” And Zayn broke into fresh wave of tears but Harry smiled into Zayn’s hair.

When Harry had so cleverly set them to date last night he had heard Zayn’s room’s door opening and he was shocked as Zayn was never one of those night prowlers. He had got up to follow him to the balcony and as he stood near the curtains he saw Zayn shaking as he clutched the railings. His eyes were shut and he was desperately holding back on tears.

“Oh Zayn!! I am sorry! I just thought setting the date would be good for you!” Harry went to Zayn and had hugged him tight; he did not fear that Zayn would push him away as Zayn would have never done that.

“Harry, I can’t get my heart broken again. I won’t be able to take it at all. I am so afraid Harry.” Zayn sobbed brokenly.

And Harry had understood his fear, he had been there when Zayn had broken up and he knew what that had done to Zayn and he could not see his friend in that much pain again.

“Zayn, listen to me. There will be two scenarios right? Either you will really really like him or second, not like him as more than a friend and if fortunately it is the first one then in that case we will proceed from there accordingly. He is a wonderful boy Zayn. He will not be wrong to you.” Harry said insistently.

“If you say Harry.” And in that moment Harry had realised that both of them were gambling their hearts for what the other had made them believe and he knew it was a huge risk but they were more than willing to take it.

As he held Zayn now he couldn’t stop but smile because obviously Liam was perfect for Zayn with his warm brown eyes and soft smile.

“Zayn, you need not be afraid you know. This is Liam, he can’t hurt a fly even if he sat there with a straw and sucked on his bloody arm!” Harry said and Zayn chuckled involuntarily.

Harry made Zayn look in his eyes and held his face in his hands.

“You will give this a fair chance Zayn, I have a good feeling about this. You deserve to love and be loved Zayn. I know you are scared and I am too, for you. But I would want you to at least try.”

And even though it was dark, Zayn knew how earnestly Harry was looking at him right now.

“Come on, you need to text Liam goodnight with all Xs and Os that will make me retch and then we will sleep.”

As Harry made his way out of the blanket and towards the washroom he heard Zayn call him back, “Harry?”     

“Yeah, mate?”

“You are scared too?”

And Harry was sure Zayn needed no answer to that because his heart was beating hard enough that he was sure Zayn could hear it all the way over to the sofa. He just hung his head as Zayn made his way over to him.

Zayn was not as tall as Harry but when Zayn hugged him Harry ducked hi head to bury it in Zayn’s neck like he had always.

“I know you are more scared than I am, Harry. But even I want you to have everything perfect in your life and if it’d mean that you will have few heart breaks on the way I would allow you to. I will bleed right with you though so you are never alone, Haz.”

Harry barely nodded and he knew that Zayn would be there with him if he fell with his heart and that was good enough for him to keep trying. The next day Harry woke up early and got up to make tea for himself and coffee for Zayn when his phone chimed.

**_From: Liam_ **

**_Hey Harry, wud it be OK if I cm ovr n srprisd Zayn? I hv md brkfst tday n I wil brng it 2! Lou said it’s nt bad 2 taste :P_ **

**_I wnt 2 tok 2 him, I flt smethng ws off lst night._ **

**_7:16 a.m._ **

If someone had asked Harry what he was feeling right now, he would have had no answer. He felt his heart swell as he read Liam’s text. The boy had just come into Zayn’s life and yet he could gauge his mood from Zayn’s goodnight text. He closed his eyes and sent a silent prayer to the gods above to make this work for his friend because he knew he was a sappy romantic and nothing would be better for him than his own fairytale.

**_To: Liam_ **

**_U need nt ask! I luv d idea! Infact if u cn mk it quick u cn evn surprise him. He is asleep! (almst naked ;))_ **

**_I wil clear d place fr u. X_ **

**_7:16 a.m._ **

****

**_From: Liam_ **

**_B dre in 15 tops, Harry. Thnkew XoX_ **

**_7:17 a.m_ **

And with that Harry scrapped his idea of making tea and made two coffees for Liam and Zayn instead. He bathed and got dresses in record time and peaked into the room to check whether the call bell had woken Zayn up before he sprinted towards the gate to open it.

He saw Liam looking fresh like a flower, wearing black T shirt which was tight enough to show his abs but not tight enough to be tasteless. He had thrown over a warm shirt over it and wore casual blue jeans and held a package in his hands, he smiled at Harry fondly and Harry couldn’t help but pull him in for a hug.

“Liam. You are wonderful. I wish Zayn had found you before and that he had never gotten hurt.”

As he pulled back his hands still framing Liam’s broad shoulder he saw him blushing pink and didn’t waste an opportunity in teasing him about that. Harry stood back as Liam came in motioned with his head towards his room. Liam looked unsure about this but Harry was there to boost him.

“I know you are feeling, that you are too clingy Liam, but trust me Zayn needs someone to be with him constantly. He looks all cool and collected on the surface but inside he is just a romantic who would want nothing better than the most mushy love story and I can see you are just the type too.” And Liam had blushed a little more before placing the package on the table and making his way inside.

Harry just stood at the door as Liam went around the bed to look at Zayn’s sleeping form and he was glad to see that Liam’s breath hitched for some time as he took in Zayn’s eyelashes and soft lips parted, he went down on his knees to come to face level with Zayn before softly placing his lips on Zayn’s and kissing for a second.

Zayn opened his eyes groggily to look at Liam and gasped, his eyes flitting in between Liam’s eyes as if he’d disappear like a dream.

“Liam. You are here.” Zayn could only whisper.

“I got us breakfast, love.” And Harry decided he needs to leave when Liam carded his finger though Zayn’s black hair.

All the way to the hospital he could only remember the scene from the morning and the love in their eyes and his heart ached, like a muscle had been pulled at hard that was slowly causing the other organs to convulse and his limbs to fail.

He was so happy for Zayn and so scared for himself. What if there was no one with such love for him? How will he be able to survive? He was shocked when he reached the hospital, he had lost track of time in his thoughts.

He smiled at Alice and collected his routine from the reception. Louis wasn’t here yet so he texted him.

**_To: Boo_ **

**_Ur beautiful bestie got my bestie brkfst tday. R u gonna get me 1 too? ;)_ **

**_8:03 a.m._ **

****

He was checking up on a patient when the reply came,

****

**_From: Boo_ **

**_HaHa.. I cnt cook to save my lyf! Late cz ur bestie’s BF didn’t let me gt ready on time. Be thre in 5!_ **

**_8:10 a.m_ **

As he came out of the ward he was mobbed by Niall and Stan for details about Zayn and Liam’s night.

“Jesus! You girls are such gossip!” Harry exclaimed laughing.

“Oh tell us Harry! Tell us! Is the beautiful, amazing, lovely Zayn and the adorable, sweet and charming Liam taken for good?” Niall said batting his eyelashes at Harry.

“OOH! Tell us and break our heart already, Harry! Just do it!” Stan said in mock gesture of misery which made all three of them throw back their head and laugh for a good 5 minute.

“Niall! How was it with Amy? You did not even tell me yesterday!” Harry said pointing his finger accusingly.

“She just out of this world, mate! Like she can eat so much and she isn’t like those health freak, skinny girls. She is fun and easy and I already feel so comfortable with her!” Niall said his face taking on a dreamy quality.

“Well, too many falling in love lately, eh?” Louis said as he joined their group wrapping his around Harry’s and Stan’s shoulder. 

“Maybe, man!” Niall chuckled.

“Well then Stan serves you right for ditching our year long relationship for Niall here.”

“Aww! Take me back, Lou! I swear I will be your loyal servant all over again!” Stan said fervently as he clutched Louis hand close to his heart which had them laughing again.

 That weekend was spent in yet another outing of the 6 of them. They cheered the new couple as Liam smiled shyly and Zayn guffawed and pulled Liam’s cheek before kissing him full in the mouth. Louis was the life of the party obviously. He got thrown out of the pub as he got Zayn drunk enough to get up on the table and dance like Shakira. Harry was sure Niall’s would topple over his stool the way he was laughing, tears streaming down his face. Stan was a whole new story as he took over the karaoke and sang love songs in his less than lyrical voice and then Louis got Stan and Niall to kiss again very publicly.

(Say with me guys! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!)

All in all Harry knew that he was lucky enough to have found such great company away from home, a great mentor and Louis. Especially Louis as he found himself staring at him more so than usual as Louis always became so much younger away from the hospital. A little immune to the stress and the real cheeky and sassy raised his head and Harry felt that he like him this carefree better. The serious and loving Louis was hot but the laughing, dancing and obscene Louis, he could take him to his bed.

As soon as this thought had flashed his mind he had realised he was gazing at Louis and shook his head at the thought to see that Liam had been observing him from over his beer and he smiled like he understood and turned to look away at his Zayn.

The rest of the week passes away in a frenzy of work for all of them. Stan and Niall had got new patients under their charge and Niall was doing a lot of reading over the cases. Harry and Louis on the other hand were putting all their energy in researching on tumours and cures and also on the cases of the other patients. It was hard work but they never complained, infact Harry always loved researching on new stuff and understanding the mechanism. He wasn’t exactly a workaholic but he felt deep satisfaction when something he’d suggest would work for a patient and nothing, no amount of sleep can ever compare to that.

It was Friday again and Harry was dozing over his medical books in the library. He had lost track of time and he didn’t realise it was past midnight. He had texted Zayn well in advance and Zayn had said that he better take care and that Liam would be coming over.

He was reading something about Neuronal membrane potential when he must have fallen asleep.

He felt someone brushing his curls away from his forehead, little fingers flitting over his skin.

“Haz?”

“Lou?” Harry was groggy as he raised his face from his open book.

“What are you doing here, Lou?”

“I knew you were staying here for studying and I had to do some work in the diagnostic lab. I am free now. You must be so tired.” Louis could easily see the bags under Harry’s eyes and he knew that he wasn’t looking that good himself but he knew Harry’s logic behind such hard work and he had appreciated Harry over it repeatedly.

In the dark expanse of the library, with next to no light apart from the lamp Harry had managed to find, Harry’s skin looked creamy and Louis itched to brush his finger over it. The sharp yellow light had made his pupils to contract and his eyes had taken a beautiful mossy colour, gentle and soft.

“Mmm.. I can’t go home but, Zayn said that Li is staying over.” Harry groaned as he let his face fall back on his book.

“You are coming with me, Hazza.” Louis said it like a statement. Not a question, not something up for voting, a simple command.

Harry but his lower lip as he considered this and Louis felt his eyes drawn to the red colour developing due to the pooling of the blood. He watched in fascination as he let it go and the colour decided to linger before moving away.

“You sure, Lou?” Harry was unsure but no way he was going to pass on this opportunity.

In reply Louis grabbed hold of his Harry’s hand and made him get up.

“Well, you can’t go back home, this is not a conducive place and it’s weekend! Come!” Louis smiled and Harry hadn’t needed any persuasion in the first place.         

As Harry drove towards Louis place he felt wide awake all of a sudden. It could not be the wind against his hair or the loud music he had put in, it was ht adrenaline that was pumping through his veins at the moment.

It was half 12 and he was heading over to Louis’ place, his hands felt a little sweaty if anything.

As they made inside Louis’ flat he felt excitement coursing through him. He was going to see a part of Louis that was never there in the hospital or can be found in the cafeteria.

As Louis flipped on the switch he was welcomed by a feeling of coming to home and he was wonderstruck.

Without doubt the place was messy because felt like a hurricane had hit it with all the clothes strewn across the room but what stood out was that the place was humble and the furniture was not aimed at being pretentious but cosy and the baby blue plump sofa left no doubt in his mind about it. The walls were a soft yellow that made the space seem larger and each wall had photo frames. Each wall seemed to have its own theme as all the pictures on one wall had pictured framed in the same colour. It was not at all loud but accentuated what Louis and Liam represented, colourful, charming and full of life. The biggest picture was that adorned the front wall was of Liam and Louis. Liam held a placard over his lips disclaiming ‘No PAYNO gain’ while Louis had his back to the camera, pointing with his thumb at the Jersey he wore, ‘TOMLINSON’.

“You were in a football team, Lou!” Harry exclaimed.

“You sound like you are telling me Hazza. I know! I wasn’t too great. College. You wanna eat anything?”

Harry was lost in the photograph his mind reeling with the images of a younger Louis sweating it out in the field, playing footie.

“It is so hot, Lou.”

“What are you kidding? It’s like freezing!” but then Louis noticed Harry’s fixation with the photo and he grinned instead.

“Eat, Harry?”

“Uh no, not too hungry.”

“You can take Li’s bed tonight mostly because his room would be way neater than mine.”

“Okay.”

“You want change of clothes?” Louis asked while closing the cupboard he was placing the stray magazines in.

“Nah. I like to sleep naked.” Harry had anticipated a response and he got it, Louis stilled with his back to Harry and the magazine still in his hands and his actions were decidedly rushed after that.

“Well, Good Night Harry. Come to me if you need anything okay?”

“Yeah, Good Night Lou.”

As Harry fidgeted on Liam’s bed he couldn’t help but obsess over all of Louis’ little slips and the possible reasons Louis could be against being gay. If he was infact one then obviously Liam would have known, they have been friends from the very beginning but he was sure Liam had no clue either. He drifted off to an uneasy sleep but woke up somewhere in the middle of the night. He turned to the table clock and saw that it was 2 in the night. After trying for another 15 minutes he gave up entirely and sat on the edge of the bed with his feet on the carpet.

He was too sleepy to ponder upon the consequences when he knocked on Louis’ door. He walked in when he got no response. In the dark he could not see anything of the room but the moonlight filtered in through the blinds and fell on Louis. He wore a light white T and his duvet was halfway his chest. He had one hand over his stomach and the other lay near his head.

Harry went around the edge and sat down, he bit his lips as he realised that there was not enough space for two of them if they were to sleep without touching.

He settled down trying not to jostle Louis too much but as he lay on his side facing Louis he shifted a little which made Louis open his eyes and the moonbeam feel on his eyes. Harry easily recalled Louis eyes from the morning in the direct sunlight and if that was beautiful, they looked positively mesmerising right now. In the low light, his eyes looked like deep blue sapphires and the sleep in his eyes just made them more dream like. His eyes widened a little as he noticed Harry.

“Harry?” Louis asked groggily.

Harry was sure any words he was supposed to be saying were lost in the moment as he took in Louis’ husky voice and like there was more he could want about this particular man. Whispering his name in the dark in a voice like that. He shivered at the thought and Louis placed his arm over Harry.

“You are cold. C’mere.”

Harry scooted closer to Louis but not too close, he had no problems with it but he wasn’t sure how Louis will think about it.

“Harry? What’s wrong babe?”

And Harry felt his world slow down as he raised his arm and leaned in to capture Louis’ lips between his teeth but he caught his hands midway and bit his lips instead.

“I couldn’t sleep there all alone.” Louis’ eye softened.

“Sleep with me then. It’s alright.” And when Louis smiled his eye crinkled and he looked so soft and adorable and Harry was having a hard time breathing.

He whispered a silent Good Night and that was the last of the night he remembered.

Somewhere in the night, Louis had turned to have his back against Harry’s chest and Harry had spooned him pulling him in and nuzzling in his hair.

Louis woke up to Harry’s long hands pinning him to himself, his own hand placed over Harry’s. He looked down to see the stark contrast; his own hands looked tiny over Harry’s giant ones, barely coming past his knuckles. He gently slid past his hands and looked back at Harry, his lips parted gently and his chocolate curls were all over the pillow and his face. He wanted desperately to touch Harry lips at the moment, the place where they matched seamlessly with his porcelain skin. He got up and made tea for them and brought the tea in bed and tickled Harry awake. Harry was laughing as he sat up and Louis’ laugh was cut short when he saw Harry’s exposed chest and he swallowed. He got up and made it to Liam’s room to get one of his hoodies.

“Here, put this on. Mine wouldn’t have fit you.”

Harry would have liked Louis’ better but he knew it wouldn’t have fit him and he grinned into his cup of tea as he found this entirely too endearing.

He looked around his room and it was painted in green and there were many haphazard posters of football players and bands Louis was obviously a fan of.

“So Westside, hm?” Harry quizzed.

“Forever, Harry.” And Louis made the famous ‘W’ with his hand before saluting to the air.

“So, what are your plans for the weekend?” Louis asked.

“Well, we have to go grocery and have to Skype with mum today. Zayn also said he’d need me to listen to some of his work so that he can share it with his friend in the studio.”

“I will… hm.. I have like Zero clue what I am supposed to do. Liam is busy weekend as he has a major submission on Monday.”

“How about I make us breakfast right now and then we make it over to my apartment and then hang out later! Liam can stay for as long as he’ll like!”

“You sure I won’t be intruding Harry?” Louis looked uncertain.

“Oh my God! Don’t even say such a thing! I would love it!” Harry smiled.

Louis was aware that he was staring at Harry’s dimples as he nodded his head in acceptance. He recalled there was a time when he avoided spending time with Harry outside work but then he knew it was futile resistance. He didn’t have the strength to go against Harry’s curls and dimples and those green green eyes and those ruby lips.

“Ahem, Uh. I will clean up a little around here then. You go and use the shower alright? Let’s surprise Zayn and Liam together!”

By the time Louis was done, Harry had made them both breakfast and Louis was an appreciating host.

Harry knew he had made a mistake when he walked into the apartment without knocking first and walked in on Zayn and Liam making out on the kitchen counter.

“HOOOOLY crap shit!” Harry covered his eyes with his hand while did a full turn on the couple.

“Wear CLOTHES bunnies!” Harry screamed.

He could hear Louis laughing uncontrollably, barely able to say two words straight as he heard muttered profanities from Zayn when they scampered into the room to get properly dresses.

“No funny business inside now! I am right here!” Harry could see the Zayn flip the bird from behind the door.

“Oh god Louis! Control yourself! You are peeing all over yourself. I am scarred for my bloody life.”

“Oh God- No you are not! Haha... Like. WOW!” and Louis again dissolved into laughter.

“I don’t see what is so funny in me being mortified Tomlinson.” Liam grumbled as he made his way out of the room fully dressed now.

“If you had seen what I had, you would know pretty boy.” Louis smirked and Liam scowled.

“Well, Louis will be spending the day with us!” Harry announced.

“First of all, where did you even spend the night?” Zayn noticed that Harry was freshly showered and in new pair of clothes.

“With, Lou.” The news was met with Liam and Zayn raising their eyebrows at Harry, mouth hanging open.

“Oh man! Like at Louis’! I didn’t want to disturb you guys obviously!”

“So there was no sleeping around?” Zayn said smirking now making his way over to his best friend.

“There was no such thing.” Harry said forcefully, maybe a little too forcefully because there had been some sleeping around but just not the kind the boys were thinking.            

He didn’t like the way Zayn’s eyes sparkled as he held Harry’s gaze and Harry widened his eyes to send a silent message towards him to keep his trap shut and Zayn nodded understanding.

“Liam, my love! Now that you are throwing your virtue at sex Gods like Zayn. What do I get from you?” Louis waggled his eyebrow at Liam obscenely which made Harry laugh and Zayn to grin a little shyly.

“You get my advice to keep quite or I will kick your ample butt.” Liam said pointing his finger at Louis.

Louis pouted as he turned to admire his bum, he looked at them thoughtfully before looking up at Liam, “I will take that advice, I don’t want anything to happen to it.” Harry had been drinking but it all came out of his nose as he couldn’t control his laughter.

“Oh God, Harold! Easy!” Louis said as he patted his back and rolled his eyes as Harry just continued to laugh.

Liam went into the shower after he kissed Zayn, and Harry clasped his hands in front of his chest and sighed deeply. He was pretty sure he was looking overly smitten but that was exactly what he was so he did not care, especially when Zayn had closed the door to his and had slumped with his back to it and sighed before smiling at the floor.

“Zaynie! I imagine a great night there!”

“Shut up, Harold!” and Zayn kissed him on the cheek before going into Harry’s room to freshen up himself.


	14. The confused Doctor Tomlinson

Louis had met Zayn and Harry all for a month but he already felt so comfortable around them. He was a friendly person yes, but he had never clicked this instantly with anyone. Harry was a charmer and there was no doubt why he could make his place in Louis’ heart with his bouncing curls, wide grins and those green green eyes. Louis was only a human and Liam was like the puppy he never got to get as a child. He was all brown eyes and joy and blushes and shy smile to Zayn’s grace and sensuality. They fit so perfectly that Louis would sometimes catch himself observing them and how perfectly in sync they looked so fresh into this relationship. He felt a pang in his heart every time they’d share a private smile but there was no way in hell he was a selfish twat. The happiness he felt for the two boys was overwhelmingly enough to shadow over his own sorrow.

When Zayn and Liam had stepped out of their shower, they merely stood there with their fingers intertwined loosely as they talked about nothing in particular and Harry booted up his Laptop to Skype with his mom. Anne was pleasantly surprised to find a whole bunch waiting to greet her.

“Well hello there boys!”

Louis already felt affectionate towards her, she looked so much like Harry that it was hard not to like her, she was beautiful in the least and she had next to no makeup on so that was really something to say.

The room filled with intones of hellos and she laughed merrily.

“I say it’s a beautiful day that four handsome lads are wishing me Good Morning!” Her laugh was as bright was Harry’s and Louis felt that next to his own mum she was the one person he could easily fit into a maternal image.

And Harry just sat there grinning at his friends at how well they were responding to Anne. Louis looked at the goofy smile on Harry’s face and he knew he was mumma’s boy and he felt his grin getting wider.

“Harry? Will you just keep grinning or introduce me too?”

“Oops!” Harry grinned and Louis heart was doing a weird rhythm against his heart. He chided himself mentally.

“First of all mum, that very handsome lad there, in the cool T and the brown beautiful eyes is Liam Payne!” Harry used a wrestling presenter voice and they all laughed at how dorky he sounded.

“Not to forget he is our Zayner’s dream come true, wet dreams and all the mushy love wrapped into one.” Zayn and Liam blushed as Louis guffawed and high fived with Harry.

“Zayn, love! That is wonderful!! Pleased to meet you Liam! Do keep my Zayn happy he is my second son you see!” Anne smiled as Zayn blushed a little more and went ‘auntie!’ in a mortified voice. Harry elbowed Zayn in the ribs and Louis was painfully aware of how close Zayn and Harry were having grown up together, he had seem Harry in his worst and his best, whenever he must have fallen down or broken his heart to his first kiss. He didn’t let his smile slide though and he was glad Liam was busy assuring Anne to observe Louis.

“And who is this fine lad?” Anne asked as she focused on Louis now.

“This mum is Louis.” And they way Harry said it and tagged along no introduction as if he had already told his mum about him was just enough for Louis to have his grin back on naturally and wave at Anne.

“So you are Harry’s Louis?” Anne said in wonder and her face broke into that of endless adoration and from the corner of his eye he saw Harry’s suck in a breath and look at Zayn in alarm as he clutched his hand. Louis ignored it for most part.

“Hello dear! How are you? Have heard so much about you!” Anne said when Louis nodded. So yes, Louis was infact right.

“All good things I suppose.” Louis smiled.

“The best dear.”

None of them noticed that they Skyped for an hour.

They finally did when someone stepped up to Anne and stepped into the video cam range.

“You, You guys are hogging on the wifi, get the butt out now. Hello new boys!” She said in one breath and Zayn was laughing at her antics when Harry simply rolled his eyes.

“You are rudest most tactless girl ever, Gem. Fellas! Behold Gemma Anne Styles, my obnoxious elder sister.” But he said it with so much affection that Louis’ mind transported him back to his home in Doncaster to his four lovely sisters.

Harry introduced them and Louis noted that she had dimples just like Harry’s just not quite that deep and her eyes were shaped like Harry’s too. She was really pretty.

“Liam! Zayn has been waiting for you for so long! Where were you, young prince?” Gemma smirked as Zayn groaned loudly.

“I did not sign up for this! Gem, I am leaving!” Zayn complained with no real intent and Liam simply leaned into him and kissed his cheek.

“Look at that now! Ugh! Pretty! Now get away bugs. Meet me on Halloween and I will give candy to you little babies.” Gemma pointed a finger at each of their faces and left with a flying kiss.

Anne looked amused with the whole conversation and Louis was grinning so broadly that his cheeks hurt,

“Well, that is a really great idea! Why don’t you lads come over for Halloween?” She looked so happy and expectant and Harry was biting his lips, he looked bordering on sad and excited as he clearly missed his family so much but there was a bleak chance that all of them could take a holiday together.

“Well mum, I would let you know. If the patients are showing significant improvement by that time, I suppose we can come over. I will bring Nialler and Stan too! You haven’t met them but they are superb!”

“Your friends are most welcome, love! I will pray for a Halloween miracle!” They all laughed easily and as Harry waved goodbye with a

“Tell dad I love him!” He was happy that his mom had approved of his new friends, he loved her so much and Zayn voiced this sentiment right away, “I love your mum Harry. She is always wonderful.” Harry beamed.

As all of them shuffled to move their muscles from their cramped positions, Harry grabbed Louis T shirt, who was leaving to drink water, Louis looked at Harry’s hand before looking up into his eyes.

“Hm?” Louis asked his eyebrows raised.

“Do you think we’ll be able to go?” Harry asked uncertainty colouring his voice.

I haven’t had much time away from my family and I miss them.

Louis’ eyes softened as he took in the delicate lad, “It’s upon Nick to decide Harry. If we have significant improvement with our cases then he might just.”

“Well, I think he is awesome and that he will never stop us. I know.” Harry gushed and Louis’ felt his eyebrows shot up again.

Harry had really taken a liking for the senior and that somehow did not settle well with Louis. He shrugged non-commit mentally and turned to leave before something caught his eye on the wall. He stopped in his tracks to peer at the picture that adorned Harry’s wall. It was of him and Harry from the day they had come over the first time. Harry was dozing off on Louis’ shoulder and Louis had his arm carefully slung over his shoulder and was looking at Harry with such fond. Did he always look like this when he looked at Harry? Somewhere in his brain an alarm went off and he tore his eyes away from the picture which was tastefully edited by Harry to create a blur around them, making them ensconced in their own perfect world. His eyes darted over the wall and he spotted pictures of the same day with Harry and the others, making funny faces with Niall and Zayn, ruffling Liam’s hair and then he saw his picture with Nick. He was kissing his cheek and goofily staring into the camera. It was obviously just for the snap but it did not keep Louis from narrowing his eyes at the photograph.

As soon as the irritation had come, it was replaced with smugness that at least his picture had been genuine and then he shook his head at the bare absurdity of thinking so much over a picture. 

He sighed at his own foolishness, a moment lost on Harry, who stepped up close to Louis and placed a hand over Louis’ shoulder.

“What’s it?” Harry was clearly concerned about Louis and he won’t be concerned for _Grimmy,_ Louis thought ruefully. But then Harry was always concerned so much about everyone, he would probably give up his life in attempt to make someone smile. Louis was not doing his insane mind any favour by over analysing things.

“I just miss my mum too now. I think I will go call her.” He added at an afterthought.

This was going to serve two purposes; he will get to speak to his mum after a long time and also get away from Harry and have some fresh air to calm his nerves.

As he stepped out of the room, he felt distinctly better; maybe it was Harry’s aftershave that had this dizzying effect on him. He smiled as he saw the other two boys also busy on their phones definitely talking to their parents and with that he went out to call his own mum.

**“Mum? How are you?”**

_“BooBear!! I was just about to call you! You have been so off the charts lately.”_

And Louis cringed at how worried Jay sounded.

**“It’s nothing mum! You know how the cases get, and one of my important cases just worsened and me and Harry have been doing everything to help with that.”**

_“Harry, is your new intern correct?”_

**“Yeah mum, he is brilliant too. I have rarely seen people as invested as him during his internship. I think he has a great potential. He is- Louis gulped as his brain caught up with his mouth.”**

_“He is?”_

**“Well, um, lovely mum. Quite lovely. Louis was chewing his lip as he slipped his hand deep into his pocket to keep his hand warm from the chill.”**

_“Well, I would really really love to meet this lovely boy, Lou. Bring him over someday.”_

Louis was amazed at how both the mum’s had requested to meet the other on the same day. Was something cosmic happening and he just sat clueless in his simple old mind?

**“I can’t guarantee mum. We are busy people!”**

_“My own son is saying to me that he is a ‘busy people’ for me. Let that be the last time I hear it Louis William Tomlinson.”_

Louis felt a laugh bubble up his chest, it was great to talk to his mother, it was so easily and comfortable and there was no reason to think about any hidden meaning or keep a hold of his emotions.

**“I really miss you and the girls mum, I will totally try to come. I love you.”**

_“I love you too baby. Take care.”_

As he pressed the end button, he rested his forehead on the cool glass of the sliding door. Even though it was partly sunny, the sky showed a promise of getting damp. Louis had always loved the rain, people usually say that this is a reflection on what kind of a person you are, glum people are attracted to the overcast sky and happy souls love the chirpy Sun.

But Louis had always begged to differ, an overcast sky is just dark but no one can deny that it was calming and soothing and the rain is wonderful in itself, what is better than a dance in it or a kiss? Maybe it is just the feeling of being cocooned in the scent of the wet soil. He had always felt intoxicated at that.

“Lou?” Louis snapped out his reverie as Harry touched his shoulder tentatively.

“Hey. I just talked to my mum. Was just thinking about it is all.”

Harry understood the feeling, he too missed them desperately and the chill was leaving him wanting for human touch and the comfort of family and friends and so he did what he thought would ease both of them. He let his fingers trail down over Louis’ arm and caught his hand gently to give it a soft tug and for most part Louis came into the hug willingly.

Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s waist who was hugging close and had placed his chin over Louis’ head. Harry loved this; he could touch every inch of Louis and hold him such that he didn’t feel so alone anymore. Louis had his face over Harry’s chest and he was aware that his frames would be digging on him but Harry did not let him be loose enough to get them off.

They held each other and rocked gently for about 30 seconds when Harry pulled his face back to look into Louis’ eyes and his heart practically gave out. It’s not like he had not seen Louis eyes this close, it was just that it was breath taking no matter how many times you look into. There was no desensitisation to his eyes and especially not when Harry would have to tilt his head just a little to catch his pink lips by his own and bite them hard enough to elicit a moan from him, while all of this ran through his head he was glad that his brain found no connection to his mouth.

“You’ll meet them soon, Lou. Until then you can always come to me. I am there for you.”

And in the slowly greying background, when the light inside the house was steadily falling as they had not turned on any lights, Louis felt himself welling up. It was never simple for Louis, not even this plain gesture from Harry was easy enough for Louis because there were things about him that compelled him to keep his heart under control but Louis was a slave to his heart and the tears threatened to fall were of helplessness.

Before any of them could say anything more, Zayn and Liam came back from their nooks,

“Oye! Lovebirds! Me and Liam are heading out to the Grocery.” Harry shot a look at Zayn as Louis hastily stepped away from Harry and hid his face so he missed the cheeky grin Zayn passed at Harry who was glaring at the raven haired lad.

“Will you even buy anything from there or you just want to make out publicly.” Harry teased Zayn.

“Now that you mention.” And Zayn placed his palm on the back of Liam’s nekc and pulled him in for a deep kiss, his other hand entwining with Liam’s messy hair. He had to be on his toes a little as Liam was taller than Zayn and Liam smiled in to the kiss as he supported Zayn by his waist.

“Go AWAY. Good thing I have a good gag reflex.” Harry was shooting daggers with his eyes but inside he was feeling giddy with joy for his friends.

“Well, having a great gag reflex is a blessing young Harold. What do you say, Lou?” It took a moment to register with Harry what Zayn had meant and he gasped when it came to him. He took his floaters in his hand and aimed it at Zayn’s retreating head, just missing him as he shut the door. He immediately opened it to blow a kiss at Harry and his cackle could be heard all the way down the floor.

“Uh, don’t mind him, Lou. It’s the hormones or something.” Harry rolled his eyes before going into his room to get his cell phone but Louis could barely smile from the spot he was rooted on. What Zayn had said had turned on some faucet, no, waterfall of images in Louis’ mind. He could imagine Harry taking him all in and looking up to meet Louis’ eyes, the green having retreated to a thin ring. He remembered his dream explicitly.

He shivered and he realised that this was not just because of the cold. His heart was thumping again and he took deep breaths to steady himself. He was panicking and for a good reason. He needed to get out of here.

He found Harry with his head bent as he texted away furiously.

“I don’t think I like this new hormone-y Zayn to be honest.” Harry said in concentration.

“Harry, I have to leave. I just remembered I actually do have some work today after all.” He tried laughing in self deprecating way, but Harry knew better.

He didn’t say anything though,

“Oh… Alright Lou. If you must then.” Harry knew it was no his place to question what Louis wanted with the two of them. He would never force him.

Louis looked like he wanted to say something but he just waved his hand dismissing it and plastered a smile on his face.

“I-I like.. Really forgot but I have to send a package home.” Harry shook his head again,

“Lou, listen. It’s really okay you know. We will hang out later.”

Louis smiled weakly as he stepped out of the flat with his heart near his soles. He felt awful for ditching Harry like this but he just could not be alone with Harry, he was not strong enough but as it is with someone running away from intoxication, they are almost always dragged back, in some form of the other and so was Louis.  

He couldn’t help but text Harry. He wasn’t even thinking when he took out his phone.

_**To Haz:** _

__ _**M so srry fr leavin so suddenly! I feel awful! :C** _

_**11:30 a.m.** _

__

_**From Haz:** _

__ _**I told u, Lou! I get it. I cnt keep u frm ur imp work! Dnt feel bad plz! :’(** _

_**11:31 a.m.** _

__

Louis couldn’t say that he knew everything about Harry but it was evident that Harry was upset but did not want Louis to know. To be honest, his fingers had gone in to auto-pilot by now and later on he’ll get enough sense to regret what he did next.

 

_**To Haz:** _

_**Lemme mk it up to u. we’l hang out soon.** _

_**11:31 a.m.** _

 

As soon as he had pressed the send button he gasped dramatically and pressed his hand over his mouth for a very good measure he even went over to the lamppost and hit his head hard on it.

What was he _thinking??_ He had made an excuse right now to get away from alone time with Harry and he had essentially invited Harry over to just that.                    

_**From Haz:** _

__ _**U sure?** _

_**11:32 a.m.** _

 

It was simple in its wordings but Harry’s thoughts were filtering in through the innumerable phone towers and signal transmissions and the circuitry in his phone, Harry felt as if Louis’ did not want to spend time with him. It was actually right but not because of the reason that he might be thinking! Louis can’t let him believe that so it was only obvious that he texted him what he did.

__

_**To Haz:** _

__ _**Y wud u thnk I wont b sure?? 100% sure! I love spendin tym wid u! Xx** _

_**11:32 a.m** _

 

 Maybe he shouldn’t have added the Xs but what is done is done.

 

_**From Haz:** _

_**Yay! Lukin forward to it Lou! U hv a goodie day now! Xxx** _

_**11:33 a.m.** _

 

And Louis sighed as he could easily see the grin he had just put on Harry’s face and frustrated at himself for being the gigantic moron that he was. He had just gotten himself into something he just ran from and he considered getting his mental health checked and chuckled wryly at the irony as he himself was a Neurosurgeon. Harry said ‘goodie’, Louis was in a deeper shit than he had given it credit for.

 

Zayn entered the flat two hours later to find him at the exact spot he himself sat the previous day, Harry was hugging his knee and his face was buried in his thighs, his curls masking his face.

 

“Harry?”

Harry did not move, he showed no sign of having acknowledged Zayn’s presence and he looked around the flat and not finding Louis there a horror bubbled up inside Zayn, he knew he had screwed up and also how.

 

He did not dare move a step towards Harry, not because Harry would scream at him (which he deserved) but because he was radiating so much sadness and that he had been the cause of it. His lips trembled. Zayn was a strong lad, introvert in most respects but when it came to Harry, he never bothered to hide; he never hid behind his façade and certainly did not hold back the tears of remorse that sprung up immediately.

 As soon as he had exited the building, Zayn knew that he shouldn’t have cracked that joke but being with Liam had loosened his sense of inhibition and he had left before any damage control, and apparently it had spelled bad upon the two boys’ rest of the day.

 He dropped the bags as a sob escaped his lips and Harry’s head snapped up to look at his best friend, he was up in a nanosecond and had crowded Zayn in a hug.

“Shh shh.. You possibly couldn’t have known Zaynie, I know you just meant fun.” Zayn felt the last of his resolve giving away as here was comforting him when Zayn should be the one apologising on hands and feet for being so inconsiderate over Harry and Louis’ condition. He should have held his tongue but instead he had gone ahead and made of them uncomfortable.

 “Haz, I am really sorry. I realised what I did was out of line and I knew that Louis isn’t comfortable with all this. I don’t know why the fuck I said what I did. I didn’t mean this to happen. I am sorry!!” Zayn was babbling and Harry kept rocking him and trying to calm him down.

 

Harry sighed, he knew Zayn ad meant no harm but he was feeling tired after the whole day’s ordeal. “Sit here, come on.”

Harry pulled Zayn by his hand and sat them both down on the sofa.

 “Should I text and apologise to Louis? Because I will in a nanosecond.” Zayn had pulled out his phone and was already unlocking it when Harry placed his hand over the screen to stop the raven-haired lad.

“No Zaynie, I know he is hiding something from us and that until the time he is comfortable it is not our lace to delve upon it. He did say he’ll meet me out to make it up for today’s abrupt departure.”

 “Harry, you have set your heart into this right? You are going forward with what you started?”

 Harry let out a dry chuckle, “If anything Zayn, I am more determined now. If he wasn’t hiding something he wouldn’t have acted so funny. It affects him what you said and I am not willing to give up on that thought. If I don’t work towards this then I will never know.” Harry looked at Zayn as he bit his lip, honest and earnest; his hands were clasped tightly as he voiced his mind and held his breath for Zayn’s verdict.

“You don’t need my approval or anything Hazza, you know I am one hundred percent with you in whatever you decide. I love you too much and for your happiness I would even let you run amok with your heart for a while.” And in that moment Harry wondered if there was ever a right time when he could have had Zayn as his better half, some moment in time when it would have been just right to make Zayn his because they fit together so well, there was no confusion regarding what the other wanted and never one bit of collision. It had fallen into place so smoothly and flawlessly. If only he could have grabbed that time it would have been so perfect right now.

But the time must have slipped away because here was Harry chasing after Louis and Zayn so smitten with Liam. In no way he’ll ever jeopardise what they have and to think about it maybe Harry was a bit too adventurous to settle down with something he was inherently comfortable, maybe he was a little in love with the philosophy of opposites attract. Maybe that is why he fell for Louis’ loud laughter and mischievous grins and quirky personality.

 He’ll always love Zayn but he’ll probably never be in love with Zayn. He hugged the said boy closer now and kept hugging him until he relaxed.

 “If there is ever anything you need me to do for you to get your boy, never hesitate.” Zayn said seriously.

“I would never.” Harry smiled and blew at Zayn’s quiff which was tickling his nose and this set the boys into laughter and just like that the heavy blanket of gloom and doom was lifted and Zayn got up go into his room to finish on his music piece and Harry pulled all his positive energy together to feel happy inside over the prospect of the compensatory date (he can dream) Louis had promised.

 That night he couldn’t really fall asleep properly, he tried chatting with Niall and Stan but they had to leave as they were currently in the hospital due to an emergency case.

He felt sorry for the boys as they couldn’t enjoy their weekend but in the end their profession never guaranteed a holiday, if a patient needs you, a doctor has to be there for them, as simple as that.

 He was just drifting into sleep when he was rudely woken up by his phone, it the silent night the ringtone was loud enough to wake even the next door neighbours and he fumbled to get it and put an end to the jarring sound.

 “Hello?” Harry only wished that the person would not speak and he would curse and drop the phone and go back to sleep but alas,

 “Harry! Harry wake up! You need to come over here immediately, It’s Jeremy. He is having attacks of posterior paralysis; Nick says maybe the tumour is causing his sympathetic system to go haywire.”

Harry got up so fast that he felt his room swim for about two seconds before steadying itself, all his organs connected to his brain in record time as he felt fully awake and adrenaline surged through him to get up and run around to grab his clothes.

 “Call Lou, Niall. I will be there in no time.”

“I did it, he is on his way. You drive safe.”  
Harry cut off the phone without saying a bye and chucked his phone on the bed to wear the first top his hand fell on and fumbled into the first trousers.

 He was sure he was breaking all traffic rules as he got into the hospital but he was sure that even if he got caught, it won’t be bad on his as he was heading in to a case at the moment. He arrived at the same time Louis did and Harry parked his car the first place he saw and bounded up the stairs, Louis right behind him.

 As he skidded into the room, he saw Niall and Stan sitting with Jeremy as his parents patted his head to comfort him.

“Jer, Jeremy. You alright buddy?” Louis asked as Harry hastily picked up his file from the table.

 “I couldn’t move my leg Louis. I tried but I could not. What is wrong?” Jeremy sounded scared and Louis sat in place of Niall and held Jeremy’s hand to calm him down.

 It’s nothing my soldier, just that you leg is just being a little disobedient but it’s nothing we can’t help by a little scolding!

“Hey you! Jeremy’s leg! Why don’t you move when he asks you?” Louis mock scolded Jeremy’s leg and Jeremy too pouted at his leg as if his disapproval would make his leg obey him.

Meanwhile Harry had pulled Niall to the side and asked about the details, he nodded as he understood the cause and ran out to get the nurse in.

“Huh! Well, you wait and watch what we do with you! I will have you obey me Jeremy’s leg!” Louis glared at it but his eyes continuously flickered over to Jer to gauze his reaction.

“Well I have this weapon, Jer. Eat this and I bet you it’ll comply!” Harry said as he handed him two tablets.

Jeremy downed them wilfully and looked at his leg for movement.

“It’ll take a little time buddy. Can you sleep though? It’ll work in the morning.”

 Louis brushed his finger though Jeremy’s soft hair and made it come to a rest on his chin.

“You are so brave Jeremy.” Louis said.

“Because I defeated my disobedient leg?”

 Louis laughed weakly at that. “Because, you can defeat _anything_ , tiger.”

 Jeremy seemed satisfied with the answer as he laid down on the bed and his mom pulled the blanket over him.  

 “Goodnight everyone.” Jeremy said already enveloped by sleep.

As all of them shuffled out after mumbling goodnights, Niall and Stan moved to the next door to check upon their own patient and Mr. and Mrs. Eriksen just smiled sadly at Harry and Louis before moving out of door making their way over to the resting area.

 “Lou, we really need to look into Jeremy’s medicines. I don’t think these ones are working. We also need to run the tests again.” Harry said as Louis took his turn going through the file, as he looked up at Harry’s eyes he had no hint of anxiety or worry, he looked focused and determined and he realised how fucking in control Louis was and just how nervous Harry was. He had so much to learn from Louis and he pulled a deep breath to invoke the same determination and patience in himself.

 

“I told Nicole in there Harry. All we can do right now is check up on him in an hour and pray that it had worked for him.” Louis smiled at Harry and it had an immediate calming effect.

“Do you reckon we should have coffee at this time?” Harry asked tentatively.

 “Well I’ll have tea.” Louis said as he led the way.

 To everyone’s joy, Jeremy had regained his motor action in that hour when Harry had come back to inspect it and he kissed Jeremy’s forehead to let him know how proud he was that he made his leg listen to him again.

“But tiger, they may do this again you know. But you will call us when this happens and we will make it work okay? You’ll never be afraid. We are there for you.”

“I really love you and Louis, Harry. You two are awesome.” Harry felt something solid and splendid unfurl in his chest and lodge in his heart. He’d give up all of his free time, all of his sleep just to hear this from the boy and his other patients. He grinned as his cheeks warmed up.

 “We love you too, Jer, more than words. Sleep tight.”

As it turns out it was great that they were in the hospital because they were presented with another emergency in the night which they took care of efficiently.

Stan and Niall had gone home as both of them were running on air and Nick took pity on them. Nick too had bags under his eyes and he looked sleep deprived but his smile never slipped from his lips as he saw his subordinates working so hard to take care of the patients.

 

In the early hour of the day, Harry and Louis found Nick dozing off on his desk, his neck bent in a way that did not look comfortable.

As Louis knocked on the door gently, Nick jerked awake and looked around to slip into his senses.

 He smiled as he looked at Louis and Harry standing at his door. “What a pathetic example I am setting by dozing off when my lovely colleagues are working their asses off.”    

 He subconsciously carded his fingers through his ridiculously high quiff that only he could pull off and smiled at them lazily as he motioned for them to sit down.

“You should get some sleep too Nick. Have you been home this weekend?” Harry asked his eyebrows scrunched together in concern but Nick waved his hand dismissively.

“My work here is more than a weekend, I can easily sacrifice all of those.” And Nick meant it, in all of his days here Louis had never seen Nick being less than a hundred percent in to his job, he had seen Nick devote almost all of his time here and not even in the initial days he had a beautiful boyfriend did he abandon his patients. He still thinks to this date that it was this reason that they had had a messy breakup in front of the complex.

 Nick was a truly wonderful person and this made Louis hating him so much harder.

_(Wait, he had no reason to hate Grimmy. Riggggght.)_

Harry got up and placed his hand on Nick’s shoulder and started massaging gently as Nick relaxed back on his high back chair.

“Your neck was in a tricky angle, you must have cricked it.” Harry was talking gently to him as if to ease his pain and his eyes glowed as Nick purred in delight.

 At one point he even moaned as he placed his head on the desk pillowed by his hands, “You are Godsend Harry.”

  _(Wait did Louis say he did not hate him? Recalculating.)_

 Louis glowered at the scene unfolding in front of him and cleared his throat to get Nick’s attention.

 Nick got up and placed his hand over Harry’s to lace his fingers with it, he looked up at Harry and here was genuine gratitude in his eyes, with just a dash of mischief.

“You stick around, love; I have a dire need of you.” Harry blushed faintly at the compliment and his goofy smile never left his face.

Louis tried to smile at the exchange but it probably just came out as a grimace.

It was way too early and he was way too tired for the fight of morality in his head but there was a war waging nonetheless.

“You lads, can leave you know. Niall and Stan would be back in the evening and there are plenty people here to keep track of things for us.”

 “I think we’ll stay a bit longer to use the Library and then think about some medication changes for Mr. Perez and check Mrs. Smith’s cognitive report. She is doing great and we are proud of her.”

 “Okay, lads. But don’t exert yourself too much okay? You guys are precious.” Nick pointed a finger at both of them fondly.

“As precious as you are to us, sir. You take care too.” Harry’s curls framed his face and his sinful lips were stretched in to an honest smile and Louis knew he had to get out of here. _Quick_.

 It was a proper day by the time they made it out of Nick’s room. From the windows lining the corridor they could see the trickle of early morning visitors and Louis looked up at the Sun which was making a very lazy appearance, not bothering much to come out of the clouds. He loved it this way, maybe he was a part Vampire, Louis would never know. Maybe he could bite in to Harry’s soft neck and trail his lips along the mark and Harry would moan and throw back his head and Louis would break skin.

 “Lou?”

“Huh?” Louis looked at Harry and he saw that Harry was grinning but there was curiosity in his eyes.

“Honestly, this routine is getting familiar to me. Whatever thoughts do you keep losing yourself too?” Harry laughed.

 Louis licked his bottom lip as his eyes flickered to Harry’s long neck, his breath hitched and he had to cough to let the moment pass,

“I really like the overcast sky to the Sun, Harry. Like I know it is very weird right but it just calms me down and it has an allure. I love it.” Louis said wistfully.

Harry was observing him his head tilted to a side, if someone would have asked him he’d have guessed that Louis likes Sun because he is so much like the Sun himself Louis would probably like the beaches and his toes in the sand but apparently there is much to know about Louis and Harry was an inquisitive person.

 “So you pupils dilate when you look at clouds?” Harry smirked  

And Louis realised just at what point his pupils might have dilated, he was going to laugh it off as a joke when someone placed a hand on his shoulder to catch his attention.

The first thing the boys turned to look at were perfectly manicured fingers and then they saw a girl, with dyed blonde hair and grey eyes which were lined by heavy mascara and liner. She wore harlot red lipstick and if the smirk was anything to go by she dutifully lived up to it too. She wore a tight tank top that showed too much cleavage to be tasteful and her skirt rode up a little too high, especially when it was this cold outside.

 She wrapped herself over Louis and sloppily placed a kiss on Louis’ cheek leaving a vivid red mark.

Harry would have looked away to give Louis his private moment with whoever this girl was if he hadn’t seen Louis flinching visibly.  

 Louis stepped of her embrace immediately and his face looked anything but happy,

“You came to meet you dad?” Louis asked his voice seething.

“That I did but let me meet your new friend here.”

She turned to look at Harry now and Harry felt his eyebrows shot up, she was not projecting particularly comfortable vibes.

“Hello handsome, I am Garcia.” She tried to roll the r in a natural fashion but it came off as pretentious.

“Harry.” Harry didn’t understand why he took a gentle step back from Garcia but maybe because she was stepping forward in his space or maybe because Louis was openly glaring at her, his spectacles perched lower on his nose.

 “You are so sexy Harry.” Garcia winked at him suggestively and Harry could have gasped in surprise at the girl’s audacity or the long nail he dragged on his arm but he was composed enough to just stiffen and shrug himself out of it.

 “Um, thank you.” Harry decided he was not really comfortable with this and he looked at Louis for some sort of help.

“Garcia, you should go meet your dad now. He must be waiting for you I suppose?”   

And just like that Garcia went back to completely ignore Harry and focused on Louis instead,

“You want to get rid of my beast?” Garcia asked pouting.

“That’s Doctor Tomlinson for you Garcia.” And he was literally grinding his teeth at the moment to stop himself from screaming profanities.

Garcia probably was used to these exchanges and just smirked at both them before giving them a flying kiss and sauntered away.

Louis made retching noises and rubbed at the spot where the lipstick mark was and he didn’t notice that Harry had gone very still for the moment.

“I am sorry for that harry. She is just obnoxious that’s it.” He looked up at harry and the younger lad seemed to have slipped into a trance, he was biting his bottom lip so hard that it had turned light pink or the lack of blood.

“Harry?” Louis was concerned; Garcia couldn’t have affected him so bad.

“Hazza?”

Harry didn’t snap out of his trance, instead he just looked at Louis like he was looking at him for the first time.

“You are a doctor, Doctor Louis Tomlinson. You are a Doctor.”

Louis felt his jaw drop at his statement, he blinked once, twice, thrice before his face split in a wide grin and he was laughing, hysterically. He clutched his stomach as he doubled over and he could hear Harry’s weak “Whaaaaat?”

It took two minutes to compose himself and wipe away the tears from his eyes to look up at Harry and he almost lost it again,

“You have been with me a month and a half now. You didn’t know _that_?”

 

True Harry had known that Louis is a doctor (yes of course) but from the very start Louis had introduced himself as just that, Louis and the staff called him either Lou or Louis and it was never any different. Hearing it from Louis had had an instant effect on Harry. He was a doctor, spectacles, stethoscope over his chest hot doctor. It had moved something inside of him and he felt hot under his collar. He felt stupid that he was feeling so turned over about this when all this time he _knew_ that he was a god frikking doctor.

He was crazy but Harry had never been known for his sanity.

 He never cracked a smile as he looked deep in to Louis’ eyes.

“I knew this but hearing it from your own lips does not make it any less hot.”

And just like that Louis stopped laughing and his eyes dropped to Harry’s lips that he had released from his teeth’s grip, where the blood was rapidly pooling making it red and plump. It did not feel funny to Louis now, infact he felt that his ears were buzzing all of a sudden.

 He needed to control himself,

“Um, Sorry about Garcia, Harry. She does this all the time. She would just come and place these kisses on me and I just hate all that.”

 “Hmm.. another reason to hate her then.”

Louis gasped softly at what Harry had said especially because Harry’s irises had taken a darker shade, almost jade now. He made it impossible for Louis to look away from them.

“I don’t know what you mean.” But there was no way in hell Louis didn’t know.

Harry shook his head to break the fragile moment and Louis suddenly found back his breath, his senses and his dear to god life.

“I don’t like people who’ll make you uncomfortable, Lou. It’s not fair.” And as simply as that Harry had reverted to being his adorable self where he pouted at the thought of someone messing with Louis. His lower lip was jutting out slightly and he glared at the corridor from where Garcia had just taken her exit.

And Louis felt woozy, he was sure his legs would give away if he did not put his full command back. These whiplashes would spell his insanity.

Harry looked back at Louis and grinned to his fullest, no intent, and no shadow of what had just transpired in them. Louis was as good as fucked but irony is he wasn’t even getting any. Apart from his dreams of course.


	15. A sudden date and a sudden holiday plan

As they made their way back to Jeremy’s room to check up on his condition, Louis opened the door to see a pretty little girl sitting on the edge of the bed while Jeremy looked at her sheepishly. She looked the same age as him and she wore a pink long top over black stockings and her hair pushed back with a baby pink hair band, she had brown curls tumbling down her back and the light falling on her created a halo bathing her in a mystic aura. A very blushing Jeremy made the perfect picture while a female; apparently the girl’s mother looked over with a mixture of fond and worry.

“Hello there lovely lady! Have we met before?” Louis grinned at the girl fondly, the corner of his eyes crinkling up. He literally shone with happiness at the scene in front of him as he entered and the girl waved back.

“I don’t think so. I am Darcy Davis!” she chirped and grinned at Louis with enough force to knock someone out of breath and Louis loved her immediately.

 “What a pretty name for such a pretty girl!!” Louis gasped theatrically as he placed a hand on his heart.

She giggled as she blushed, “You are very pretty too!”

Louis threw his head back and laughed,

“I am Louis Tomlinson, princess; you can call me Louis.”

She kept smiling at Louis when she suddenly saw Harry.

“Hello! I am Darcy!” she waved at Harry who was already grinning.

“I am Harry, my darling. Harry Styles!” He crouched down to her eye level and pointed at her hairband. “That is a classic hair band not all girls can pull it off.” He said it so seriously that Darcy giggled again.

“Louis! I take it back! You are handsome, Harry is pretty!” she pulled one his curls in her tiny finger and watched mesmerised as it sprang back into place when she let it go.

“Oh no doubt in that, Love!” Louis had spoken before a second thought and avoided Harry’s eyes as he moved to stand near Jeremy.

“And why this gorgeous little lady here, you lucky boy?” Louis winked at Jeremy and immediately realised that maybe teasing a little boy about a girl isn’t the wisest move, especially winking. NO.

“She is my best friend.” Jeremy’s cheek went a little pink at that and Harry could have ‘AWWW’ed loudly if it wasn’t inappropriate in this situation. Not forgetting that Darcy’s mother might not approve. He needs to keep his romantic heart in control but he couldn’t control his manic grin as he saw Louis biting down his lip to prevent it from giving his glee away.

“Very well, Jer. Your best friend is undoubtedly the prettiest girl I have seen in days!”

Darcy bit her lip as she grinned at Louis and Harry felt his heart melting away. Darcy was a beautiful and sweet girl and there was no way Jeremy was not harbouring a crush on her.

He mother spoke up then, “She had wanted to come for a long time now but we held her back because she gets really sad when he is sick but when Andrea called me last night, we just had to come.”

Louis gave her a puzzled look and Darcy’s mom continued.

Andrea, his mom and I are best friends and we have always been very close. She always begged me not to come because I do not handle hospitals well but she does not realise that she is very important for me and so is Jeremy.

And it descended upon them that one life is tied to so many others, influencing them, uplifting them or possibly dooming them.

Louis did not need more reasons to save Jeremy but it goes without saying that this was a motivational force.

Louis asked Jeremy to move his legs and was please to see that they were giving feedback again.

And with the happiness came the weariness. He was feeling tired all of a sudden.

Just then Andrea Eriksen poked his head in the room and as soon as she saw Darcy’s mom she strode in long steps and hugged her tight. They were observing the scene when something pulled on Harry’s T shirt and he looked down to see Darcy looking up at him with wide eyes.

“Can I ask you something, Harry?”

“Yes, love. Come out, we can talk there.” He nodded at Louis that he’d be outside while he is conducting the other tests.

Once they were sitting on the bench he looked at Darcy who was swinging her legs as they weren’t touching the floor and she was fiddling with her fingers.

“You are nervous, Darcy?” Harry knew for a fact that she must be but inside the room she had looked so happy to see Jeremy.

“Will Jeremy die, Harry?” she was not looking at Harry and so she missed the way Harry’s eyebrows shot up and his breath hitched. This little girl was worried that she’d lose Jeremy but she was too young to be weighed down by this and Harry felt pain blooming in his chest,

Before he could respond, she was talking again.

“Mum was crying last night, daddy was comforting her and I heard them talk. Mum said that one person she knew had died and she did not want the same to happen to Jeremy. I don’t want that to happen to Jeremy.” The last line came out as a whisper and Harry’s heart broke with that.

He went to sit in front of Darcy with his knees on the floor so that his head was just in level with Darcy’s.

“We will never let that happen, Darcy. We will not him leave us you know? You need to trust us. Louis is a really good doctor and he will make everything fine.”

“Promise?” and when Darcy looked up finally, there were hints of tears in her light brown eyes and Harry wished he could make Jeremy alright right now just to make her smile again.

Harry gazed at the closed door with slanted eyes as he mulled over the situation, Jeremy was definitely losing weight and he knew Louis had noticed too. The mild chemotherapeutic drugs had also thinned out his soft hair. He had bags appearing under his eyes and almost always had a headache nowadays. He knew that Jeremy was showing temporary improvement but in the whole scheme he was deteriorating fast. But there was no way he will let him slip away; no way will he not give it his ever best. No way was Jeremy going anywhere.

“I promise, Darcy.” He whispered.

Nick literally rushed them out of the hospital as they were walking Zombies working around the clock but both the boys were still smiling and helping their patients.

It was nearing 8 in the night when both of them stumbled out into the parking lot and Harry was insistent that he would drop Louis.

Harry drove slow as he could hardly keep his eyes open and he did not want to drive them into a tree of the oncoming traffic.

His stomach growled angrily as they had not found the time to have lunch busy looking after their patient. Not that there were that many but both of them loved to chat with them to ease their tension and it took most of their time.

As they drove, Harry saw that Louis had his face buried in his palms and his stomach gurgled too.

“Lou, what will you eat?”

“I don’t know. I will order take away I think. Liam is out again for his course and I can’t cook to save my life.”

He was pinching the bridge of his nose and Harry could see that he had a headache going.

“You are coming with me.” Louis looked at Harry his eyes clouded with confusion.

“What?”

“I can’t let be alone when you are not well, Lou. You clearly have a headache and you will be grumpy by the time the food arrives and then you will eat that junk and watch shitty telly. I will cook for us and then you will sleepover. Nick has said we can make it back in the afternoon tomorrow when you can go home and change.”

Louis began to open his mouth in protest but Harry just shook his head at him curtly, not in the mood for arguments and besides Louis was not going to argue too much. He would love to go to Harry’s place and eat what he made.

“You know I was supposed to take you out and make up for ditching you that day.” Louis said as he rubbed his hands for warmth and pressed them to his cheeks.

“It’s okay, Lou. We are going to hang out right now, let’s supposed it’s you who took me out instead of the other way around.”

And Louis did not comment on the way that sounded suspiciously like Harry taking him out on a date.

As Harry unlocked his door he saw a note from Zayn taped on the fridge,

_**Haz,** _

_**Headin out 2 surprise Liam 4 dinner!** _

_**I hope ur K cz u rushd out widout evn telin me so I kinda knew thre mst a hospital emergency.** _

_**Love you babydoll!** _

_**X ;)** _

And Harry’s eyes grew wide as he realised that he had completely forgotten to text Zayn through the day and he must have worried a lot but had refrained to disturb Harry.

He got his phone out and immediately texted a reply to Zayn and peppered the text with Xs.

Louis came around to look at the paper he held and his mind whirred to two things,

Zayn had called him babydoll, he wasn’t sure why he cringed at that but then he realised something else and Louis’ stomach to perform back flips and one graceful pole vault.

They were alone.

He removed his denim jacket and hung it on the rack, at his own place it would have been gracing the floor by now but in front of Harry he wanted to create a good image. He rolled his eye at himself as he realised Harry had already seen his flat when it was in absolute mess and a jacket on the rack cannot take that back.       

He was uncertain as to what to do, he did not want to sit idle as Harry cooked, that would come off as really impolite and so he just swung on the balls oh his heel, indecision reflected on his face.

Harry looked at his face and his own broke in to a grin,

“You can sit on the countertop looking all pretty Lou!”

“Heyyyyyy” Louis argued but he smiled when Harry cocked an eyebrow at him.

“I am the handsome one, come on!” And Harry laughed and Louis loved it. Hopefully things won’t decelerate for both of them; it was battle against his inner wish.

As Harry cooked he looked at Louis trying his best to not knock over things in the kitchen as he was swinging his legs so that his heel banged against the cabinets softly. Louis exclaimed in happiness as he saw handmade jam kept on the shelf near his head.

“You like Jam?” Harry asked as he chopped the vegetables with flair, his hands moving like the professional chefs in the restaurants.

“Yes I do! Mum used to make mixed fruit jam for me! Watch your fingers Harry!” He screamed out as the blade skimmed past Harry’s finger too close for comfort.

Harry halted at once and looked down at the chopping board and then back at Louis gaping mouth and continued at a slower pace while Louis relaxed from his excited stance.

Louis settled back and resumed the swinging of his legs. He opened the cap of the jar and stuck in a finger to get it on his finger and licked it, he was sure he got it on his mouth too but it was worth it because he moaned at how amazing it tasted. He dug in again, more eager this time and got it on his knuckles, he moaned again softly. He looked at Harry and he was going to voice his compliments when he words died on his lips. Harry was gaping at him, open mouthed and his eyes glazed over. It’d have been comic only if Harry’s wasn’t panting softly and his eyes weren’t a darker shade than usual.

The world stilled and possibly froze over when Harry moved closer to Louis and made disapproving noises. Harry felt goose bumps on his arm when he saw the deep jelly sticking to Louis’ lips and harry wanted to bite those soft red lips so much, he wanted to bite them hard and make Louis moan unabashed and pull Harry’s hair. Instead he leaned in and ran his thumb from the corner of Louis’ lip to the middle of his bottom one and brought it to his mouth to suck at it. He held Louis gaze and he could easily see them gaining and losing focus.

Louis couldn’t speak past the lump in his throat and especially not when he felt all sweaty and cheeks must be embarrassingly red.

“You had jam on your lips, Lou.” Louis wasn’t sure that that equated with Harry licking it off so obscenely but his mind so tired and his senses so very aroused he did something reckless and stupid as he’d come to think when he pondered on this later.

He looked away from Harry’s lips and at his fingers, he saw jam sticking to his fingers and knuckles too and he slowly and surely put them in his mouth and sucked at it softly and slid the finger out teasingly while Harry looked on, he did this with all the fingers and made sure he did not break eye contact with Harry at all. If Harry was going to play this game with him, he would give him a hard competition. When Louis as finished, Harry broke eye contact and closed his eyes as a shiver ran down his spine.

He was smiling in way which clearly said that he was enjoying that Louis was reciprocating in some way meanwhile Louis was feeling less sure about the stay at Harry’s place. He was doing far too many things that he’d regret and the pile was only building.

Louis was thinking that maybe they’d have a relatively quite dinner but that flew out of the window as Harry had put on F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and they spent their time laughing on Chandler’s sarcasm and 3 incidents of Louis choking on his food as he could not control his laughter. It was for the best though because the sexual tension had dissipated, but that did not keep Louis from wondering that what was the reason for which Harry was even aiming for him when he had made it pretty clear that he was straight and into girls, maybe he was like this with all his friends but that thought did not sit well with him too.

When it was time for turning in, Louis obviously assumed that he’d Zayn’s bedroom and settled down there. Harry observed Louis going in and he looked torn between something but he kept quite.

Louis decided not to prod him because he knew that Harry was more interested in cuddling with Louis rather than sleeping alone but he knew maybe it’d b inappropriate with the amount of flirting that had happened previously.

Harry wished him goodnight and went away reluctantly, he was itching to keep Louis pressed against him while he slept but did not and wadded away dejected but maybe it was supposed to be Harry’s wish when almost an hour later of fitful sleep he heard the keys on his door and bolted up, it could be only Zayn but he’d not thought that he’d be back for the night, and with a shock he realised that he had forgotten to tell him that Louis had come over here and they may have Liam’s flat all for themselves but maybe they had come to his place now. His suspicions were confirmed when he headed out to the hall and saw Zayn and Liam making out furiously and before they’d even noticed he snuck into Zayn’s bedroom and shook Louis awake, he could see nothing in the dark but his sleep heavy mind registered faintly that it was infact Harry.

“Go away before I scream and cry and punch you in the balls.” Louis muffled into the pillow.

“Get up now!!”

Harry didn’t give Louis much of a warning before he hauled him off the bed and literally carried him to his own bedroom and clicked it shut softly, he sighed in relief as Liam and Zayn had noticed nothing.

“The fuck Harry Styles?” Louis had his hands on his hips and as he glared at the younger boy and he was shivering violently.

Harry looked alarmed and clamped Louis’ mouth shut with his hand and placed the other behind his head to render him mute for the moment. Louis stared at him wide eyed but did not struggle as harry was staring at the floor clearly intent on listening to something. Louis was very pleased with the manhandling.

He made a pleased noise when he heard the door to Zayn’s room open and snap shut.

“What?” Louis snipped as he was chilled and Harry was making no move to explain his actions.

“You are such a dunce! I forgot to tell Zayn you are here and I can’t let my mistake ruin their night together!” Harry looked half sheepish and half exasperated that Louis had not understood right away.

“You twat! It’s not like their last night together! They’d have made out some other time! Jesus!” Louis would have thrown his hands up in the air if he hadn’t had them wrapped around himself to preserve some heat.

Harry made no preamble before he wrapped his arms around Louis and hugged him to his chest, he was standing so close and Harry had ducked his head so that his nose was placed just above Louis’ shoulder and he was breathing deeply. Louis had not found the time to uncross his hands and so they were trapped in between his and Harry’s chest but which made it all the more easy for Harry to gather all of Louis in his arms.

Before Louis could even speak (not like he could have past his shock) Harry started apologising,

“I am so very sorry, Lou. I know you must be really tired and I just disturbed you but Zayn is this happy after a long long time and I can’t take away any moment of that. Him happy is all that I have wanted for so much time now.” Harry whispered quietly so quietly that Louis would not have felt the word if his lips weren’t so close to his ears that his breath came in puffs against his bare shoulder.

“It is alright, Harry. I feel the same for Li and I suppose I can forgive you for this.”

Harry was grinning now that he knew he was forgiven and Louis felt a flutter of lips on his shoulder. Did Harry just _kiss_ him there?  Louis was feeling an odd mixture of sweltering hot and shivering cold and he was perplexed at how easily Harry Styles can mess with his mind _and_ body.

Harry did not let go of Louis the whole night as he cuddles Louis, his arm always over Louis’ waist. Louis had never really felt this safe or small in life and he imagined himself getting used to this. But there was no reason to make this a habit as he would avoid Harry in such situations tomorrow onwards and he huffed in frustration of how futile that sounded. He was facing Harry as he slept as we wasn’t entire too sure of spooning where he would be pressed to every part of Harry’s. _Every_.

Harry mumbled in his sleep, his lips parting slightly and Louis’ eyes lodged on to the moment and he wished just like Harry had before that he could straddle Harry and pull his lip in his teeth and bite them hard, just restrained enough not to draw blood.

He shivered at the thought and Harry pulled him closer sub consciously.

The next morning Louis woke up wrapped up in the duvet without Harry by his side and he immediately felt lonely. _H_ e inhaled deeply the scent lingering in the sheets, clearly of Harry and he told himself he did not do this because he was any way interested, but then he was never a great liar.

He looked around to pull on his T shirt but then he realised that he had put it on the chair in Zayn’s room and he saw one of Harry’s massive jumper neatly folded on the chair and wondered if Harry had been considerate enough to leave it for him. He smiled as he pulled it on, it was so big that it was falling off his shoulders and his boxers were well hidden and he felt all the more smaller and cosy and he knew he is falling under the many traps of Harry Styles.

He got out of the room at the exact same moment Liam and Zayn did and in Zayn’s hand was Louis’ T shirt. Zayn looked at Louis, Louis looked at the giant hickey on Liam’s neck, Liam looked at Harry and Harry plain ogled at Louis. They all ended up laughing at the awkwardness and closeness of it. All four of them were really lose now and it was becoming a distant memory when they did not have each other’s presence.

Harry gave a last once over at Louis which Louis failed to completely ignore but acted as if he did not see and Zayn looked at T-Shirt in his hand and then at Harry to ask whatever happened? And Liam looked plain shy at he met Louis’ eyes from under his eyelashes and found Louis smirking at him and pointing at the huge bruise. Nobody said anything though and just wished each other morning but Zayn went over to give Harry a hug and while retreating he whispered, “I can guess what happened, Thank you. I want the full story though.”  
  
“Heyyyyy! You can’t screw my best friend here and whisper sweet nothings in Harry’s ears!” Louis tried to sound mock-annoyed but maybe he came across just annoyed, one would never know. Zayn smirked at Louis and bent to pick the water bottle placed near Harry who was flipping the omelettes.

“Someone is jealous. Hm?” he whispered inconspicuously and went to sit in Liam’s lap and bit his neck gently.

Harry was grinning too much but with his back to the others, nobody noticed.

Niall called Harry after they had finished with their breakfast.

“Harry, mate! What’s up? You guys made it home last night?”

“Yeah, Nick sent us home. You guys don’t have to go today?” Harry asked

“No, Nick had said we can make it back with you guys in the afternoon shift so I was thinking that maybe you want to hang out? I want to talk about something.”

“Okkkkkkay. I miss you already my Ni bear” Harry said with a smacking kiss and Niall laughed as he affirmed it that he and Stan planned on coming there in 15 minutes.

“Hey, wear you sunglasses. I have Liam and Zayn here and they have sunshine coming out of their asses.” He turned to wink at the two lads and Zayn flipped at him lazily.

“And also Lou is here.”

“Who is the metaphorical Sun himself, yo Haz?” Niall grinned.

“Kind of, yeah.” Harry was amazed that Niall had enough intuition that he was clearly teasing Harry but he always turned to putty when this happened. 

Niall laughed some more before he promised to be there and hung up.

“Well, Nialler and Stan are gonna be here, apparently they have something to discuss.” Harry said as he set to wash the dishes and the other three settled down to watch some telly.

Niall and Stan came in some 15 minutes later as promised and they all hugged each other in greeting and Niall gave a group hug to both Zayn and Liam separately.

“I have shipped you guys for so long!! Ziam all the way!” Niall grinned at them as the coupled laughed hysterically.

“There there Nialler, don’t freak them out with you fan-girling.” Louis grinned.

Liam and Zayn took one side of the couch as Stan took the bean bad and Niall sat down on the floor with his back pressed against Louis’ legs and Harry sat down next to Louis, it was a close fit with four of them on it but Harry loved it.

“Nialler, what did you have to talk about then?”

Niall hesitated before answering, “It is Amy. I maybe probably like really like her.” He did not meet anybody’s eyes but everyone’s took on that slow grin when a friend of yours confesses something like that.

Louis bent and placed both his hands on Niall’s shoulders while Harry slid and sat beside Niall and took off his snapback. All of them cheered for what seemed like ages and Niall blushed and in his white skin it was one adorable sight.

“That is mighty brilliant!!! Did you tell her?” Harry knew his eyes must be twinkling like he had been told they do when there is a romantic story involved but he did not care.

“I don’t want to scare her Harry. I know she likes me maybe but what if I scare her away.” He was biting his bottom lip and Harry’s heart was breaking. Niall might not be the youngest of them lot but all of them were ferociously protective of the lad.

Liam too detangled himself from Zayn and sat down in front of Niall.

“Listen to me, I am going to say something extremely cheesy but if she is the one then she’ll not freak out on you. Even if she is not in the same place like you then she will respect you for your affection and ask for time. She’ll never hurt you, you know that.”

Niall looked at Liam and then at Harry and finally looked at Stan who was observing him carefully with his eyebrows furrowed.

“Nialler, lately we have been spending so much time together and I have hear so much about Amy and from all I gathered you are not mistaken about her and she’ll not break your heart. I think you should give her and yourself a chance.” 

“You sure, yeah?” Niall asked.

Stan’s eyes softened.

“I have some experience with girls and not all of them have been good mind you but you know you need to go ahead and give it a shot, the bad relationships taught me the pleasure of the better ones and I have no regrets and Amy will be one of the better ones I know it.”

The room was silent at Stan’s pronouncement and the lads were shocked that the laughing, poking Stan had such a deep side to him and Niall’s bottom lip trembled as he got up in one fluid motion and went to sit in Stan’s lap and hugged him so tight that they topped over the beanbag.

Harry sighed in the beauty of the whole scene and rested his own head against Louis’ knee, Louis tore his eyes away from the half sobbing, half laughing boys and looked at Harry and he carded his fingers though Harry’s curls.

“You okay, Haz?” Louis asked softly.

Harry blinked and his eyes felt wet, he smiled at himself and shook his head as he laughed.

“Yeah, I just get really emotional too quick and all this was really touching.” Louis hummed as he continued to card his hair and twirl his fingers in his curls and Harry closed his eyes as he soaked in this feeling.

After a moment Niall let Stan breathe and sat down again,

“So I am going to tell her soon okay? On our next date.”

And everyone showed thumbs up and patted his back in encouragement.

The next few days were a blur of activities as they launched back into their work and studies about the various symptoms and medicines. This job isn’t a relaxing one and a doctor can never hope for a respite.

Before any of them could properly realise they were officially into winters and Niall and Harry had become an integral part of Apollo Hospital, they could tell you Alice’s children’s names and knew the special way to open the door of the third floor storeroom (jiggle it and pull it to the left and then down). The patients loved them and one can’t really say that a hospital can be a happy place but it was brighter place indeed. Work load has been lesser on Louis and Stan as Niall and Harry were pro in their work and never for a moment let them feel like they were in any way novices in their work.

Things were proceeding like those movie montages with a peppy song at the background with Mrs. Smith out of the institute having regained her health and no new cases which they could not handle but on the downside Jeremy was showing absolutely no improvement and if his reports were anything to go by it was fast deteriorating. He had almost a continuous headache now and he did try to hide it but it was evident in his eyes. For a little boy he was smart enough to know that having a headache was not a good thing as Harry and Louis looked all concerned at him when he said so, so he did what he felt right.

He hid it.

Louis did not want to push Jeremy to confess anything to them because he knew he’d show resistance and Louis never had the heart to be forceful on the boy so he thought of a way.

It was a quiet evening when Niall strode in to Jeremy’s room and he smiled genuinely at the older lad. Niall could see he had no headache right now as his eyes looked bright and his smile was pure and natural.

“Hey tiger! How are you?”

“I am really good today! How are you?” Niall smiled at him fondly as he ruffled his hair.

“I am great too buddy. I came in today as Harry and Louis are busy a bit. That okay with you?””

Jeremy looked affronted at the thought that he’d not like Niall. “I like you, Niall! I don’t mind at all!” and he gave him his full blown grin and it was easy for him to see why Harry and Louis were so smitten with the boy, he felt quite taken himself.

The windows were open but the blinds were drawn and so they moved with the slight wind and hit against the glass to make a rattling noise which were soothing in the silence.

“You know I have a nephew your age, he is blonde like you too.” Niall said.

“What is he like? You like him?” Jeremy asked intrigued, he was at that blessed age where they are anything and everything in between polite and curious.

Niall laughed softly, “I love him you know and everything he does and says is okay with me because I love him so much.”

Jeremy looked at him like trying to believe that someone else other than his parents too have feelings like this.

“You get worried but. Don’t you?” Jeremy’s eyes were concentrating hard on Niall’s face, to pounce on any hint of a lie Niall might let slip.

“I do worry for him but because I want to and because that way I can take care of him better and it had always helped you know.”

Jeremy was suddenly looking very uneasy and Niall shifted a little closer to him,

“You know, people who love you Jeremy will want to know everything that is going on with you, because they love it when they can help you. Have you been doing this lately?” Niall did not take a judgemental tone just a careful one.

“Do you think Harry and Louis love me, Niall?” Jeremy was looking at his tiny fingers and hung his head low.

“They love you more than anything, Jer. Just a little lesser than your parents, who love you the most. You tell them everything?” Niall pressed some more.

“Maybe, but I think I will from now on. They love me and I love them.” Niall hugged the boy gently and moved forward to hug the little boy and Jeremy ducked his head and his forehead pressed against Niall’s neck. Niall’s heart swelled as this was his trademark hug style, burying his face in the recipients’ neck and it was beyond sweet when Jeremy was doing this now. He kissed his head softly before sitting back but as he made to stand up he was stopped by Jeremy’s tiny hands.

“Niall. Do you think Harry and Louis love each other?” Niall was taken aback as the little asked the million dollar question and just then the blinds flapped wildly. He got up to shut the window but stood there to ponder on his answer as he knew that Jeremy would be quick to catch on his lie but he has been observing the two of them in the last two months and he was sure they were more than attracted to each other. He may not look the part but he was a keen observer.

He turned around finally and went to stand near the door with his shoulder against the door, arms crossed and legs crossed.

“I do believe they love each other, Jeremy but maybe they are not aware yet.” Jeremy’s face scrunched up as he processed the new information.

“And that is why they don’t kiss? Like mum and dad do?” Niall again considered how much he should be sharing with Jeremy but he decided to go with it anyways.

“Yes, Jer. They may love each other but as both of them haven’t told each other, they can’t kiss.”

“Oh.” Jeremy looked so sad for two of his favourite doctors and he wanted so much that Harry and Louis would be happy together.

“Can I do something for them, Niall?” Jeremy asked innocently and Niall was struck by the purity of this child. There were adults in the world who were as homophobic as they get and this boy who understands nothing but love is so supportive.

He stepped towards Jeremy and bowed to level his eyes with Jeremy’s

“Maybe not at the present, tiger but I have a feeling that someday because of you they will be together. Until then, you will not tell them or they’ll never be together. Okay?”

And Jeremy nodded vehemently and crossed his heart in promise and Niall hugged him quick and waved him bye as he left the room. He hoped for his friends that they saw the truth and got together some day.

Louis hugged Niall in gratitude as Jeremy opened up to them from then on and would confide in to them honestly so that Harry and Louis would be able to assess his condition better and they decided to go for the highest degree of medicine and if even this showed no improvement then they’d have to go for chemotherapy as Harry told Mrs. Eriksen.

“It’ll metastasise Andrea, some part of the tumour may dislodge and may go somewhere else and start spreading there. By the end of this week if the condition is not stabilised at least then we’ll go for proper chemotherapy. You’re your husband and Jer needs to be prepared.”

Harry expected her to break down and he was ready to comfort her if she did but he’d underestimated her will power when she just took a deep breath and levelled a steady look at Harry.

“Thank you for taking care of Jeremy, Harry. I will not break down now, me and my son are strong and he’ll get past this and I know it. I am not worried you know. I don’t want you to be either.”

She placed a hand on his cheek and rubbed her thumb across her cheek and Harry relaxed into her touch, however strong he did appear to be, he was always a little scared inside, sometimes it made it hard to breath but he’d be close to Louis at those times and Louis would understand what’s on Harry’s mind and comfort him.

Louis, Harry, Niall and Stan were in Nick’s room later in the evening to report their progresses to him and he was immensely pleased with what the young lads were doing and he said as much.

“I don’t think I have even been lucky enough to have doctors like you working for me. I can say I feel like you four are just what this hospital needed.”

“That’s not true! This hospital has you and there is not much else it needs to be perfect you know.” Harry said as a matter of fact and Nick beamed while the other lads whooped in approval.

“You guys will be the death of me oh god!” he laughed merrily.

“So Louis, what is Jeremy’s report. I take that the last change of drugs didn’t work properly.”

Louis sat up a little straighter at that. “I am really sorry, sir. Yes, it’s been failing so far and so we have switched him to a stronger dose and if that fails too we’ll have to go for chemotherapy.”

Nick nodded a she went through his file and wrote his comments wherever appropriate.

“Don’t be sorry Louis, please. I know you and Harry have been giving your best.”

Then he asked all the boys, “What are your plans for Halloween then?” and all of them looked at each other uncertainly, Harry had told Stan and Niall about Anne’s invitation but none of them had actually asked Nick. They did not want to appear as if they are trying to run away from work.

“Not really anything.” Harry said tentatively.

“Well, the four of you need to go home you know. Come back with a fresh mind and work even better for me. You guys may take your leave from tomorrow and be back here by the end of the week when Louis and Harry can chalk out Jeremy’s progress.” Nick declared as he shut his file and smiled at then genuinely.

“Are you sure, sir? We don’t want to leave all the responsibilities unattended.” Niall said clearly torn between glee and anxiety for his patients and Nick

“Oh, pish posh! I know you guys have worked you asses off these past two months and this is a well deserved break for you. It’ll be fine you know.”

They all got up and hugged Nick in gratitude and Harry lingered for longer as he felt really bad that they’d be leaving him alone and he apologised to him in a whisper.

Nick hugged him back tighter and whispered back, “I am fairly used to being alone, Harry. Please don’t be sorry on my account.”

Harry kissed his cheek softly as he stepped back. If any of the lads thought it was inappropriate, they did not say so and Nick didn’t mind in the least. But Niall was scrutinising Louis as Harry kissed Nick and he saw Louis flinch and look away and he averted his own eyes as he filed this information in the back of his mind.

It wasn’t the perfect time for celebrating because as doctors they had a lot of responsibilities on them but it was crazy to not get into the Halloween spirit! They’d be going to Harry’s place soon and they cheered in anticipation of the wonderful week ahead.


	16. Halloween Cheers!

Zayn had called his family about the plan but he found out that they’d be out by the time they come. They’ll be able to meet the lads on the last two days of their stay and so even Zayn was going to be holed up with Harry.  
Harry’s place in Holmes Chapel, Cheshire was beautiful to say the least. It was not crowded and there were minimum automobiles to be seen as people preferred walking and enjoying the weather.

It was lush green and Harry pointed out the tree under which he loved to sit and the swings where he used to hide away from school. The houses were old fashioned and each one of them had a well kept garden the type where you found porch swings and lovely grandmas who made Jam.  

Harry had already called his mom about their arrival and hence he was not surprised when Anne stood waiting for them at the porch and Harry dropped his luggage in the garden and ran up to his mum to engulf her in a deep hug. He was proper tall than her but still managed to duck his head in her neck, he stepped back to find tears pricking the corner of his eyes, don’t blame him he was always way too close to his parents to be separated for this long. As Anne moved forward to welcome the other boys, they heard a deep voice coming from inside, “Anne, are the lads home dear?” A second later a mad appeared in the doorway who was maybe a head shorter than Harry and his eyes flew open and a small gasp escaped him when he saw his son.

“Harry, my boy!” and Harry laughed openly and hugged his dad tight and even lifted him up a little of the ground.

“Hey now! Don’t manhandle your old man, now that you are so tall!” Robin pointed an accusatory finger at Harry but Harry simply guffawed and hugged him yet again.

The boys were lost in this scene when Anne approached then and hugged all of them. In their point of view she was the sexiest mom one could have but of course they kept that silent.

She saw the obvious wonder in the boys’ eyes and answered it for them.

“They have always been really close. In his most difficult years Robin has probably been his best support and partner. They love each other to death father and son.”

“It is beautiful, Mrs. Cox.” Liam said as he grinned.

“Call me Anne boys. Come in it is freezing outside!” and that is when the boys finally looked at the house and then kept looking.

The word to describe it would not be magnificent or gigantic or any of the cold adjectives but it looked so _inviting_ and _gorgeous_.

They looked at each other appreciatively and went in after the Styles. Inside the villa it was one word, _BEAUTIFUL_.

It was not at all prim and monotonous but Anne had styled it in an elegant and light way. The walls had panels of fuchsia, mauve and sunshine yellow. The floor was of teakwood and the curtains were mesh and billowed gently in the wind. Two helpers came in from the sides and stood beside Anne awaiting orders but it was not a formal affair for much long as Harry launched himself at them.

“Jared! Alfred! I have missed you guys!” He hugged them both with arms around their neck while both the middle aged men grinned and patted him on the back.

“We missed you too Master Harry.”

He stepped back and grinned in delight. Harry was the life of the house and the member and these people were his life, it was transparent.

“Jared, Alfred can you please show them their rooms?” Anne asked them and the boys were immediately aware of the fact that they must have enough rooms to house all of them separately. They looked around in wonder and drank in the grand staircase which diverged on the first floor to two corridors which lead to the many rooms and the walls had huge family photographs of the three of them but mostly of Harry and his childhood full blown to life size.

“Um, mum?” Harry asked cautiously.

“Yep Harry?”

“How have you divided us the rooms?” and the boys understood immediately. They were a group of 6 lads and that is not how many guest rooms a villa has. Sure the house was very large but they were sure it did not have an obscene number of rooms.

“Oh easy! You guys can pair up, yes? We usually don’t have that many guests and that is why there was not a need of many rooms or beds for that matter but I hope it won’t be too much of a trouble boys?”

Liam and Zayn looked at each other and grinned and Harry groaned when he caught that.

 “Mum, please give these two the oldest possible sheets. They will ruin it and ruin it so many times.”

Robin barked loudly and the laughter boomed in the open space while Anne grinned at the now blushing couple.

“I have known Zayn for a long time now and I have not seen him blush that much, Liam. I think my other son will be quite happy with you.”

“Aunty!” Zayn muttered as Liam dropped him a soft kiss.

“Louis will be with Harry in his room and Zayn and Liam are clearly pairing up so that leaves Niall and Stan. That good?” all of them nodded enthusiastically but Louis felt his heart quicken and the thump could be heard reverberating in his ears. There was no way he could have said no to this arrangement as Anne would definitely know something is up and Harry would feel bad too. He gulped hard and followed Alfred and Jared but he did not notice that Harry was observing him all this time and he had a wicked gleam in his eyes. Harry was sometimes the poster boy of naughty on Santa’s list.

They moved into their rooms excitedly but Louis was a bundle of nerves when he entered the room and Harry clicked it lock after them. There was no need for Louis to panic but he was clearly hyperventilating a little. A lot.

Harry took a deep breath and jumped on his bed and looked at Louis appreciatively.

“You nerrrrvous Lou?” Louis looked at Harry with his best expression of disdain, fake obviously.

“I am actually thinking about bunking with Stan instead, you would be horrible to live with.” Louis scrunched up his nose as he studied Harry’s room.

Harry got up in one single and towered over Louis and crowded him so that he was pressed against the wall, “Heyyyy, you did not mean that Tomlinson.”

Louis was sure he had left his heart in the same place he was standing downstairs but he held his sass to his defence. Blessed sass.

“You have a room that marks a hipster and I don’t like the hipster types. I can’t live with them.” Louis said it in a way that would come across as a personal insult but Harry just pushed him back some more so that Louis had to step back and press his back completely to the wall.

“You haven’t _lived_ with me even once, Lou. Give me a chance and I will make it good for you.” Harry tilted his head as he spoke and looked at Louis lips and Louis was certain that this ‘living’ was not what Louis was thinking about.  Suddenly Louis was very aware of Harry arms caging his face and his breath on his face and he did not like what it was doing to his cock.

But before Louis could even blink or say anything. Or turn into a blubbering mess and hand over his self respect Harry stepped away abruptly and winked at Louis before twirling on the spot and throwing his arms open.

“I love my room!” and he went into the bathroom to get fresh.

Louis would later deny that he had not wanted Harry to do something rash with him, that his jeans had not become a tad bit uncomfortable and that he did not have goose bumps when he saw that Harry had just the one bed in his room.

Apart from that one discomfort (or close comfort based on need) Harry’s room was mostly what he kept back in his flat. He had posters of band Louis didn’t even know existed and here and there were scraps of lyrics taped to the wall but some of them really appeared his original, he smiled when he saw huge cut outs of minions and more of Harry’s pictures from his childhood.

“You like what you see?” Harry said from behind.

Louis snorted, “I’m merely memorising this so that keep in my mind how NOT to design my room.”  

“Oh shut up, go get fresh then we’ll have something to eat.” Louis turned around to find Harry just in a towel that could not be any bigger that the biggest tea towel as in was maybe a foot in width and Louis would never usually pass on an opportunity to pull on a towel of an unsuspecting mate but with Harry, he rather not cause as it is not too much was left to imagination.

“It’s freezing Harry! God, wear something!” and with that Louis stepped into the bathroom and closed his eyes to recall the faint outline of Harry in the towel and he felt himself shiver.

The dinner was not awkward at all which is usually expected when you meet somebody’s parents for the first time but the ice broke as soon as Niall slipped and fell as he approached the dining table.

“So much food!” Niall exclaimed in pure joy and the resulting laughter was enough to break any silence for the following night. Robin was brilliant with the boys with stories of his childhood and his escapades while fishing and Anne brought up the awkward childhood stories which made all of them laugh until Stan had his rice coming out of his nose and it felt great and complete to all the boys after a long long time.  Finally when they retreated to the beds they were full and content and scared (okay, just Louis was).

On the afterthought there was nothing he could have done when now he was in Harry’s lair now. He was a force of nature and quite opposite to his shy demeanour. He seemed a hundred fold at ease and cocky.

He pulled Louis to himself and pulled a blanket over both of them and took lack of Louis’ argument as his consent and held him close to himself muttering that it was especially cold tonight.

After about 5 minutes, Louis spoke.

“Haz?”

“Yeah?” Harry’s breath was warm against his neck and he barely managed to keep himself from turning into Harry’s embrace.

“Your parents are great you know. I miss my mum and sisters so much but it does not feel lonely anymore.”

Harry was silent for sometime before he spoke softly, “I am always there for you, Louis. I don’t think how you ever thought you are alone anywhere.”

Louis pondered over his words and he settled with the fact that apart from Liam, Harry was probably the only guy who had meant it from heart.

“Haaaaaz?”

“Yes, Loooou?”

“Are you are a girl?” Louisa asked innocently.

“What?” Harry snapped in the night as he supported his head on his knuckles curled near his right forehead.

“Your curtains are lilac, Harry! They are so _girly_!”

“Says a guy who knows it’s lilac you hypocrite!”

“Hey! I have four sisters you wanker! Give me some space!”

“They make the moonlight beautiful, Lou! It appears so dreamy and romantic!” Harry said enthusiastically as Louis groaned in mock exasperation.

“Why am I stuck with you! What have I done to deserve this!” Louis rolled his eyes but he was sure Harry could not see that.

“You love it you bitch. Shut up!” and Louis grinned because yes he did and Harry was indeed true about the moonlight.

“Um Lou, you are not a bitch sorry. Good Night.”

Louis grinned at the stupid adorable considerate boy and mumbled Good Night as he fell asleep to Harry beside him and his hand curling around his back.

They woke up abruptly to loud banging on the door.

“Wake up baby boy! Welcome the better Styles home!”

Harry shifted under the duvet and put his leg over Louis’ and pulled him close to snuggle into his chest hoping that Louis would save him from the noise.

“Harry wake up or I will scream and tell about the one time you went to the park with makeup on!”

That was enough to make Harry bold Harry upright from his bed and dash towards the door to open it with a heavy scowl on his face.

A girl a few inches shorter than Harry stood grinning full watt and a dimple poking into her cheek.

“Gemma.” Harry grumbled.

“Oh don’t stress Harry. I went to greet Zayn first but there are noises coming from the room which makes me think someone is giving birth in there so I just came here to disturb you instead. Well hello there!” She said brightly as her eyes fell on the now awake Louis.

Louis decided he liked her, she looked the right amount of minx and wit and these were qualities Louis Tomlinson appreciates.

“Hello Gemma! A good morning!”

“Well did you two have a good night then?” and she said this with an odd twinkle in her eyes as she looked her little brother but she looked away quickly and Harry had turned towards his side table to check on his phone.

“Oh stop sulking now! I have missed you!” and Gemma stepped towards her brother and gave him a tight hug and all the annoyance disappeared from his face.

“I have missed you fatty!”

“Hey! No nicknames now. I haven’t quite forgotten the makeup story.” Gemma smirked.

“Gemma, no!”

“Don’t get your knickers in a twist Harry. Get dressed and down for breakfast! Louis you too!” with that she twirled perfectly and bowed in a grand gesture and stepped out of the door.

“You learned your prancing from her did you not?” Louis asked Harry with his eyes fixed on the spot from where Gemma had just left.

“What prancing? The only thing that seems to be prancing is that under the blankets mate!” and Louis was instantly aware of well- his not so little morning problem.

“It happens to everyone jackass! Uh!” and with that he wrapped the towel from the chair nearby and got up to look for his slippers. He jumped about a foot when Harry pressed his chilly fingers on the small of his back.

“Harry you _twat!_ They are freezing!” and yet his back felt that the spot where he had touched was burning, he was never an ace in chemistry but this was not supposed to be happening was it?

“Good Morning baby!” and Harry winked at him as he set about to open his bag and look about for his clothes.

Louis shook his head in disbelief and ended up smiling at his antics.

They stepped down to the breakfast together to find Niall and Stan gorging on the home made pizza and croissants.

“It would never kill you to wait for others, Niall. I am sure five minutes of hunger never killed anybody.” Louis said as he walked down the stairs.

“I am sure that is what the Unicorns told themselves when Noah was leaving you know. See where it got them.” Niall said after gulping down his bite and Robin chuckled from his chair.

Louis noticed that Gemma and Harry were having a silent communication amongst themselves and he decided not to get involved in it.

As they sat down, Liam and Zayn appeared on top of the staircase and Niall and Stan got up for a standing ovation as Louis and Harry joined from the bottom of the stairs.

“To the couple of the year who are on the path of spoiling every bedroom they can find.” Niall said in his best radio announcer voice and everyone laughed and Zayn and Liam simply rolled their eyes as they came down taking two steps at a time.

Anne asked them if their night was comfortable or not and it was met with general cheer and winks towards the couple’s direction.

“Hey guys now, since I am the only lady here apart from mom, consider me your Queen and tell me about yourself peasants.” Anne said as she mock acted to blow on her nails and Harry made an exaggerated huffing noise.

And they told about themselves to her while she listened intently and supplied her own opinions on what they said, she was bright and open and her smile was dazzling just like her brother and within 2 minutes they were talking to her as if they had known her forever. Louis could also see that she was forming opinions on all of them as she went from one lad to another. She was already very proud of Zayn as she had known her like a younger brother, she was impressed with Liam and his dedication to his education and not to mention his love for Zayn, she was also quite liked Stan and his chirpy voice and awkward stories and she was particular amused by Niall. Who wouldn’t be really? He was a walking talking and eating ode to being funny and weird. At last she turned on Louis who was sitting farthest from her and closest to Harry.

“You Louis, I have heard the most about you. Courtesy this loudspeaker right next to you.”

“Heyyyyyy!” Harry exclaimed in his voice muffled.

“Finish you toast first, Harry.” Anne chided.

“Sorry, mum.” Harry mumbled as he gulped down the toast with orange juice.

Louis told her a short version of his life that is with his mum and sisters and how he became a doctor but of course he kept out the part where his mother attempted suicide and that is what really prompted him into neurosciences.

“You are really brave, Louis. Taking care of your mum and four sisters since you were this young. I don’t imagine you had a rash and free childhood.” Gemma did not mean it to be a sombre topic but the table turned relatively silent after that.

“No, I mean my mum never really made me give up on anything I wanted or took away privileges. Infact I appreciate her so much because it never felt like a burden or a job. It was always a pleasure and the girls never gave me too much hell. I just love them so much.”

“I have had friends who have not coped so well Louis. I must say what you did was really remarkable. It’d have been easy to go wrong at any point of your life but here you are saving lives and giving people smiles. It is wonderful.” And this is when Louis realised that he had got from Gemma what none of the other boys had got, her respect.

* * *

 

Harry heard and saw the conversation but said nothing at all. He knew that Gemma understood that Harry had a thing going for Louis even though he had never told her anything straight forward. He knew that Gemma was trying to know Louis and his character, she would never preach Harry about his choices but it would not stop her from taking care of Harry like she has always done. He loved her so much.

* * *

 

After she was done with interrogating them all she decided that she really liked all of them and she said so to Harry later.

“Harry, did you?” Anne asked as they sat in her room.

“No Gem. He said he is straight.” Gemma sat up straighter at that and frowned at the floor lost in thought for about 3 seconds but said nothing.

“Afraid?” she asked as he rummaged in her luggage still not looking at Harry.

“A lot, I might be falling for him, Gem.”

Gemma pulled a deep breath and finally looked at him with a smile. Harry was sure she would be anxious or upset but he could not see those emotions.

“It is a wonderful emotion, Harry.” Gemma finally got up from near her suitcase and she held a box in her hands.      

“You won’t ask me to be all careful and shit?” Harry asked amazed.

“That goes without saying Harry. But this will hopefully be your own love story and I would never interfere but be there when you need me and bug you when you don’t.” Gemma smiled and handed him the box.

Harry was still surprised that how cool Gemma was with all this but he knew she’d never spoon feed Harry her opinions.

It was a wristwatch and it was very simple with a round dial.

“I won this when I presented my designs to the company who were hosting the conference and they loved it and presented me with this. It means a lot to me.” And Harry knew how much effort she had put behind her project, he hadn’t been there but Anna told her that she hardly slept or ate with the time she was devoting to this. Harry hugged his sister and held back a sob.

“I know you will do great, Harry. Even if he is not the one, I know that your heart will find the perfect one.”

He did not tell Gemma that his heart was chanting Louis’ name for some time now and he was cared that maybe there would be no one this perfect but he need not scare Gemma about him.

It was Halloween the next day and they decided to head out in the evening to do some last minute shopping. Harry had to get some props for his costume while Niall had completely forgotten to get his.

 Louis was observing one of Harry’s pictures which hung on the wall and he saw him hugging his little teddy bear while Robin and Anne looked on and somewhere deep inside he felt bad for himself having missed out on having a normal family and maybe a little less responsibilities but his thoughts were interrupted by Gemma.

“I assume my brother has locked you out of the room?”

“Yeah, he said he needs to try his costume to check whether it fits him or not and he does not want me to see.” Louis sounded grumpy and Gemma smiled.

“You miss home?” She had seen how he was observing Harry’s picture and she just asked the obvious question.

“Yeah, I do. It’s holidays but they have to go to visit others of my clan and I can’t afford that many holidays.”

“You like taking care of people, Louis?” Gemma asked non-chalant but Louis knew that nothing Gemma Styles says is of zero purpose.

“Yes, I really do like taking care of people and catering to their needs. Like it’s not obsessive but I love that people are happy because of me and it makes me double happy.”

“Gemma pondered on what he had just said before she supplied,

“Louis, taking care of someone is a great trait you know, but sometimes it is only for the better that you let someone take care of you and make you feel a little less obligated. Sometimes it is great for both sides if you are happy yourself and make decisions that are for yourself alone.”

Louis knew that she was trying to drive across some point and somewhere he understood that too but he did not want to give in to that temptation.

“I can’t hurt anyone, Gemma.”

“Sometimes you just think you will but instead you have blown out it out of proportion and in reality he is hurting himself for nothing.”

Slowly and steadily it was creeping up on him what she might be implying but he would not think of that. He had kept parts of him hidden and hurting for so long now that he cannot relinquish that now.

Before any of them could say anything else the other boys were bounding down the stairs laughing as they were chasing each other.

The next day, Halloween the Styles were holding a party for their friends and family and Harry was super excited as he was all over the place decorating the place with streamers and arranging the flowers and guiding Alfred and Jared with the colour co-ordinations.

Niall helped Anne with arranging the food and Stan and Zayn took care of the music and drinks. Liam and Louis had found no real use for themselves and hence they were just playing assistants to all the boys. It was going to be a low key party but everyone knows even they require all the help they can get.

As Louis changed the tablecloth and Liam straightened the cushions on the chair he looked at Louis and their eyes met.

“You are being quite, Liam.” Louis said.

“Yeah, I have to meet Zayn’s parents tomorrow. I am scared.”

“Liam Payne you are what every parent want for their son in law. You are the safest bet they have.”

 “You can say that because you know me. They don’t. They can just dismiss me so easily.” Liam sounded morose.

Louis gave the tablecloth one last wipe before straightening and placing a look at Liam.

“You are just nervous and nothing else really. You have a better chance with Zayn than any other guy. You guys love each other!”

“I won’t use the word, Love maybe.” Liam muttered but Louis made noise of dismissal.

“Potato, po-tah-to. You guys love each other and I know it and nothing else can come in between that. Nothing else can ever mean more than that. They will see this and any personal opinions they may have will only help you grow and not keep you apart.”

Liam gaze was levelled at Louis this whole time and he stepped forward to place his arm on Louis’ shoulder.

“You really mean all that? That love really is above all and everything?” Liam said in his most serious voice and Louis froze, this hit somewhere very close to home and Liam could tell that he had scored.

“I think so, Liam.” Louis whispered and Liam smiled.

“You will always tell me what is on your mind? Never keep a secret from me?” Liam asked uncertainly.

Louis’ mouth dried because he was going to lie to his best friend. The only one he has had all this time, who had always been by him through thick and thin.

“Yes, Liam.”  

In the evening when it was time to dress up, the boys retreated to their rooms and Louis was inquisitive of Harry’s costume because he had picked out furry ears yesterday and had said nothing about it when he had raised his eyebrow.

As Louis waited in his peter pan costume he thought it suited him well. It was not overly dressy and the pointy hat and his features looked appropriately elfish. He had foregone his spectacles in favour of contacts as he was not sure how much a lost boy he’d look if he had managed to find an optical in Neverland.

He sat on the edge of the bed swinging his legs when Harry cracked open the door of the washroom.

“Hey, I am coming out okay? You are not supposed to laugh!” and immediately Louis interest was piqued.

“No promises, Love!” and he bit his tongue as the endearment slipped out.

Harry bit his lip as he looked at the floor and smiled.

“Okay then, anyways.” and he opened the door and stood in the room and Louis felt his jaw drop like literally the type where it hits the floor with a bang.

“You are a- you are a-” he stuttered.

“A cat Louis, a C-A-T.”

“A cat!” Louis finally burst out.

“Oh Good, I just thought I was a pig maybe.”

Harry stood in his black cat suit that flowed seamlessly over his lithe body. The material was probably spandex and it curved at his waist and tapered from chest down. He wore black cat ears and even had a tail attached to the costume.

He looked even taller than usual and so bendy and immediately Louis regretted the adjective and the associated image that came.

He had even drawn black whiskers on his face and painted the tip of his nose pink and Louis was physically torn between licking his body and bopping his nose and watch Harry pout at him.

 “I look quite feline don’t I?” Harry said as he looked into the full length mirror and roared seductively at Louis.

Louis cocked his eyebrow at him finally having calmed down his internal war.

“That was so lame Haz.”

“Talks Peter Pan! I mean that is not a costume that is just green pants and a green T shirt. No points for that.”

Louis rolled his eyes and got up to open the door.

“Come come Kitty. We have people to meet and greet!”  
Harry did a finally twirl to check his appearance and pranced out of the door. He was in full element and he had seen Louis reaction to him, how his pupils had dilated and Harry was sure to have a Happy Halloween.

They stepped down the stairs and found that Zayn had dressed as Jack Sparrow, Liam as usual as Batman, Stan was a sailor and Niall was something very special. Slutty Nurse. 

“Niall mate! Well done!” Louis guffawed as he slapped Niall on the butt.

“I know right! Completely last minute but I think I pull it off!” Niall said as he smacked his lips obscenely.

“Definitely! I would run under the car so that you can treat me.” Harry said as he stepped aside from Louis and the boys snickered.

“Well done there, Harry. I would let you curl around my leg.” Zayn stated as he winked and Harry took an exaggerated bow right after he sashayed his ass.

Guests were starting to trickle in by now and Harry got busy with introductions.

They met Olly who was older than Harry but he was clearly as immature as Harry if his Mickey Mouse costume was anything to go by.

He hugged Harry and gave him a once and grinned

“Someone looks really sexy there Kitty cat!”

He Arr-ed at Zayn as obviously he was also a great friend of him.

He shook hands with all the other boys and gave a compliment for each of the costumes.

“So you are Harry Styles’ new owner here?” He said as he grinned at Louis.

“Hey! I just let him pet me occasionally and feed me once in a while, no one owns this cat!” Harry proclaimed with his nose in the air but his eyes were twinkling.

Louis laughed, “Well, I wouldn’t want to own such a tiring cat anyways. He is way too hyper for my choice.”

“So he tires you apparently? I hope in better ways than I can think of?” and Olly winked at Louis and all the boys laughed. Harry was a little shocked that Olly was throwing innuendoes so easily but he relaxed when he saw Louis was not really taking them seriously.

They learned later that Olly was associated with a music label and that he was the one who had inspired Zayn to seriously pursue music as a career and that he was planning on a colab with Olly and possibly get it produced. He was an easygoing and happy guy but it was clear for all to see that he was very fond of Harry and he wouldn’t hesitate to break some bones if that is what would be required.

They met Louise, who was basically Gemma’s friend but she was very fond of  Harry and had taken him under wings when he had approached her to get his hair straightened and she had refused point blank.

 She was dressed as a female Vampire and had dressed her daughter Lux as a tiny version of herself.

Harry immediately picked her up and cooed at her.

“My Lux is just too pretty and beautiful and gorgeous and she is so adorable!!” Lux couldn’t possibly form words at that but she screamed in delight and kissed Harry’s cheek and went,

“Hallllyyy!”

Harry’s breath got caught for a moment and his eyes blew wide as he looked from Lux to Lou and back at Lux. A slow smile now spread on his face and then he beamed at Lux and then at Lou. “When did she learn that? She just said my name!” Harry was struck with wonderment and Lou laughed.

“Right after you left, she began missing you so much that she wanted to call out to you and she just went Hally at me one day but I did not tell you because I wanted you to hear it yourself.”

“Oh my god my baby girl is growing up! Soon you will want to see boys and I would break their bones! Oh Lux!!” Harry said in mock dismay and blew raspberry on her stomach which made her scream in delight and clap her hands in happiness.

Louis’ eyes fixed on Harry all this time and he felt himself getting lost in the scene, Harry holding a baby girl and he played with her in a park where the grass grew plush green and the trees swayed gently and the flower petals were strewn around Harry and the girl, she had wild curls like Harry but they were kept in place by her pretty bow clips and her lips were red just like Harry but then she opened his eyes and looked Harry as she placed her tiny hands on his cheek and they were angelic blue. Blue just like his own and he jolted out of his imagination and looked around in shock to find that nobody had noticed his little imaginary trip and he willed his heart to calm down and his mind to forget the rosy cheeks and the beautiful face of the baby girl.

Harry introduced everyone to Lux who squealed in delight as she saw Zayn and made grabby hands at him and he laughed and got her from Harry to swing her around and kiss her on the cheeks.

Liam was blushing prettily at the scene as Zayn alone was a sight to behold but give him a girl in his arms and Louis wasn’t sure how Liam was not passing out already.

Zayn winked at Liam as Lux pressed her face into his neck and Zayn patted her back gently and Liam definitely leaned a little on Louis losing his footing.

Louis was really sorry for his best friends’’ predicament but then he was also sorry for the guest room they were sharing. He was sure they’d be trying their best to make babies tonight.

“Hey I am her Godfather Zayn, don’t monopolise her!” Harry said in an annoyed voice while Zayn laughed and moved away from Harry.

“Only because it was your name on the chit we drew, Lou had promised I would be the Godfather for her next child!”

“I feel my children are being objectified here, really.” Lou grimaced but then smiled at the boys.

“Enjoying the party all of you?” She asked them.

“Well, we just stepped down. We plan on enjoying it to the fullest!”

“As much as one can without booze because we have children coming and you guys are barely legal yourselves.”

“We are all legal. You just can’t tell with these youthful curls!” Harry said as he swept them aside in a wide sweep and his dimple showed.

“Yes sure, but please let me hear news of you guys getting blind drunk and being irresponsible!” Anne had appeared out of nowhere and hugged Lou and kissed Lux’s cheek who was still in Zayn’s arms.

From there it was a whirlwind of food and candies and hugs and kisses. For the lack of booze the boys got high of each other and breaking into spontaneous dances which got them a cheer from the crowd. All was well until Harry felt rather than heard the incessant buzzing from his phone in the pocket of his cat suit. There were some 5 missed calls and Nick was calling again.

“Nick?”

“Oh Good lord Harry you picked it up! Where is Louis’ phone? I have been trying to reach to him for so long!”

Harry peered over the guests and zeroed on Louis and he observed that his costume slacks do not have pockets in them.

“I bet he left them in the room. What happened? Is it Jeremy?”

“I am afraid it is. Could you possibly set up a Skype from there and bring him with you. I want to discuss this reports and a little incident that happened today.”

Harry pulled Louis away from the boys abruptly and led him straight to his bedroom and explained him in short word what had opened as he booted his laptop.

“Shit! I have like 10 missed calls! What kind of a doctor am I to forget my cell like this!” Louis looked distraught and Harry felt the same.

As the call connected Harry saw Nick was in his room in the hospital while he had expected maybe a booth in some bar.

“Nick, it is Halloween! What are you doing at the Hospital?” Harry exclaimed.

Nick laughed lightly, “My job calls and I stay! I can’t go out when people here need me!” and Harry and Louis already respected Nick a lot but it flared a hundred fold at the moment.

“What is it about Jeremy, sir?” Louis asked worried.

He had his worst ever headache today and his mother was there with him and she is certain that for seconds he could not recognise them. He has already become very weak boys. I think it is a taking a turn for the bad now.

I have started on her chemotherapy boys and I would want you guys to come back as soon as possible. It has been two months from diagnosis and it would take a turn for the worse now if we don’t take care.

Harry and Louis could talk for a whole minute while Nick simply showed them some of his vitals. It would be too late to leave now but tomorrow they must fly out.

Nick saw that he had put a damp on the festive spirit and hence he wanted to cheer up the boys.

“Boys, listen. We are doctors and we cannot let out worries show. We are the source of their strength and Jeremy is a pretty strong boy. We will not lose him.” For the most part he managed to keep the uncertainty out of his voice but Louis did not relax.

“We will fly in tomorrow. We will start with the strong chemo right away. We have dilly dallied way too much.”

Nick smiled at him softly, “Peter Pan, Louis?”

“Yeah, I want to be forever young and all!” Louis said with a light smile.

“And you are a… cat.” Nick was looking at Harry with fond and amusement.

“Yep! A vicious stray cat! No one owns me!” Harry pumped the air and made a cute grumpy face.

A spark flared in Nick’s eyes, “Well what a shame, I would have really wished to own the cat.” And he winked at Harry and Louis could have gagged when Harry blushed furiously.

Nick then smiled good naturedly at both of them and waved them goodbye with an assurance that he’d personally oversee Jeremy’s treatment.

They told everyone the news once the party was over and it was decided that Liam and Zayn will move to Zayn’s place for the two days left and Stan and Niall would fly back with Louis and Harry to resume early. There was no point in staying back when Harry would not be here.

That night, Louis did not hold back from hugging Harry to sleep as he needed it as much as Harry did. He knew that this trip had been a plan to refresh them but instead now they’ll be rushing back to the hospital and he wondered if Harry had had his fill of his home. Of course not, he had been here for 3 days total and he had planned on meeting his other friends tomorrow and showing them the bakery he used to work in before but now he’d have to wait for few more months before things would settle down enough.

He felt Harry sob in to his chest and Louis carded his fingers through his hair and shushed him by kissing his hair.

“He’ll be fine Harry. You will be fine. At least we got to meet your parents and closest friends! You got to meet Lux! Please don’t be sad Haz.”

Louis whispered against Harry’s ears and held him tight. It felt so perfect to him, Harry slotted against him perfectly and as he held him close and comforted him he felt his own tension ebbing and it felt so whole and _complete_.

He hummed Harry to sleep that night while he himself stayed awake for a long time later but he did not let Harry go and neither did Harry put any space in between them, Louis fell asleep as he was fully enveloped by Harry’s scent and Harry’s heartbeat relaxed and his grip eased. But he still held his hand and his lips still lingered near his forehead and he knew he can never really stay away from this adorable young boy.

Harry, Louis, Stan and Niall hugged the Styles goodbye but Anne held Louis back.

“My son is really proud of you, you know? He has never mentioned it as such but he really looks up to you. I hope he never causes you any trouble along the way. He gets much attached very easily and I would never want that either of you gets hurt because of it.”  

Louis was trying to form some coherent reply to that statement but Harry was whisking them away for the car waiting on them.

On his way Louis thought a lot about the Styles and especially what Gemma and Anne had said. In some alternate universe it would have given him hope and courage but at the moment his holiday spirit had abandoned him and he was just looking forward to getting to Jeremy and keeping him alive.


	17. The spilling secrets

The following week was the hardest ever on Louis in all of his experience as a doctor and he was certain Harry was getting scared of the mounting workload and the piling expectations. They had rushed through the grand entrance of Apollo Speciality to knock on Nick’s door once and enter without waiting for a reply. They did not find him in the room and Niall and Stan promised to check up on them later as they moved to their own wards. Louis began checking his own wards one by one and found Nick in Jeremy’s room adjusting the flow from the IV drip connected to the little boy. He looked asleep from what Louis could see and he looked peaceful and almost angelic and he realised that he had missed him so much and that he’ll never leave his side until he is fully cured.  
Nick looked up from his clipboard a second later and his eyes grew wide as he saw the boys standing at the doorway and Louis’ heart dropped. He had developed dark circles under his eyes and there were angry veins standing up on the whites of his eyes. He had not shaved for the duration of the boys’ leave and he had clearly not combed his hair properly or even eaten for a fact. He looked a perfect impersonation of a rag doll and Louis felt guilty of ever leaving Nick sole in charge of such a big facility. He should have known better.

“You are back guys!” Nick managed to smile at them blearily and like a gust of wind Harry had left his side and enveloped Nick in a tight hug.

“I am so so sorry I left you alone here. I am a daft selfish imbecile and I am so sorry Nick!” Harry’s voice was muffled as he had it buried in Nick’s neck while Nick was gently patting his head and trying to position the clipboard in a way that does not poke Harry in the ribs.

“It’s okay Love. I know you needed a break. All of you did! It’s no stress _really_!”

Harry shook his head where it was nestled in Nick’s neck and held him tighter. Nick kissed his temple as he made him look into his eyes.

“I am sorry I got you worried. Sorry got you both worried.” He said as he looked at Louis now and Louis stepped forward to place a gentle hand on Nick’s arm, “I am ashamed that I just let you alone with all this. I will take over now sir.”

Nick began to argue but was cut off by Harry’s glare.

“Not one word. You will head home immediately after handing us the file and we will take over and I don’t want to see you until tomorrow evening. Am I making myself clear?” Harry said in a military voice and Louis found himself gaping at Harry and so did Nick alongside of him.

A second later Nick laughed and threw up his hands in surrender.

“Alright fine! I will leave for now but I want to know if anything out of order happens, alright you two?” Nick said as he looked at both of them pointedly. He handed over the file in his hand over to Louis and placed his hand on Harry’s cheek.

“You are a sweetheart you know?” Nick said in a whisper and Harry felt his ears getting hot. Even when Nick was not in his usual state of quiffed perfection, he looked rugged and hot, so don’t blame Harry for what his heart did on such occasions.  
  
He made his way out of the room with a gentle brush of his finger on Louis’ shoulder and Louis nodded his bye.

Harry stood still for a moment before letting go of the air he was holding for so long. Louis on the other hand drew a deep breath to steady himself. He had just witnessed Nick flirting with Harry and Harry reciprocating, in a way and even when it was a hundred miles out of his business zone he felt a twist in his gut and that is not something desirable to his ever.

Harry turned and mutely handed over the file to Louis not quite meeting his eye but he was very red in the face and Louis could not help but narrow his eyes at that.

He went through the file in silence and felt his anger and discomfort evaporate. In the last week alone, Jeremy has had 3 cases of violent headache and he even fainted after the last one when it was decided to have a follow-up and then he was put on this drip of mild chemotherapy. He moved closer to the bed and saw the pale of the little boy. He had lost more weight it seemed as if he was becoming wispy. His cheekbones stood in stark contrast on his face and his collarbones were prominent. He brushed his knuckle over his beautiful face and pushed back his thinning hair from his forehead. Louis was not overly eager to settle down and have a family but he knew for sure that he does want a boy someday and he’d watch him grow and play football with him and he’d be the happiest boy in the world because Louis would love him with everything in his heart and more but looking at Jeremy like this his heart breaks. What if it was his beautiful baby here in the same condition? What if it was one of his sisters? He’d never be able to handle the thought of losing them and it saddened him that death is infact a certainty in this world but Jeremy was a child and his parents’ only one too. How could he fail this angel?

He felt Harry circle his arms along his waist and place his chin on his shoulder. “Louis?”

And Louis sniffed in answer and realised that he had tears flowing from his eyes and he blinked in surprise.

“Oh baby!” Harry made him turn a full circle and tucked Louis into himself. Louis went without a fight.

He held Harry’s shirt in his fist and cried his heart out. Harry had his hand in Louis’ waist and the other carded his hair and his lips whispered words of comfort in Louis’ ears. Louis felt himself relax into the gentle rocking and in his state of daze he leaned up and gently kissed Harry’s throat.

Harry stilled and withdrew a little to look into Louis’ eyes with a million questions in his eyes, his brows drawn in confusion. Harry’s beautiful sparkling green eyes flitted from Louis’ eyes to his lips and back and he was leaning in a little more than before and maybe Louis was not arguing, maybe his lips would be the answer to this pain in his heart.

And before both of them could draw another breath, the door had opened and Niall entered the room. Harry and Louis separated like the same poles of a magnet and as Louis wiped his face of tearstains Harry just slumped on the metal table nearby to steady his own weight. Nobody met Niall’s eyes and Niall did not say anything for what seemed like an eternity.

“Riggght. So, how is my little soldier you guys?” Niall asked without a hint of anything other than concern for the boy.

“He’s on light chemo at the moment and Nick has scheduled some more tests for him. If this is spreading then we’ll pull up full attack and go for the hard ones. His tumour is growing at an alarming rate and something has to be done now.” Louis knew he sounded hoarse but he hoped Niall took it as a reaction to the weather and not his emotions acting up.

Niall went over to the sleeping form of Jeremy and gazed at his fondly. “I am telling you guys. He is special. He’ll make it you know.” Niall smiled brilliantly at both the boys and his eyes lingered on Harry and his expression changed to something of concern and sadness this time but Louis did not look back to check on Harry and see what made Niall react like that. Niall schooled his expression back to that of a carefree smile and patted Louis brotherly before looking at Harry.

“Hey Haz! Come with me... There is this new cake recipe I saw online I want to bake for Amy and I want you to give me suggestions.” Louis heard their voices fade as they walked down the corridor and he pressed the cool metal of the clip on the clipboard to his forehead, he felt fevered from what had just happened. He had almost _kissed_ Harry, not to forget he _had_ kissed his neck. It was like he had no control over his body at the moment. He felt heated all over his body just at the thought of his full pink lips so close to his own and he was hyperaware of the goose bumps on his arms and that he breathing too loudly in the too quite room. It was chilly enough to set ice by now but here he was sweating his ass off. He was classic doomed and like a fool running away from love, he’ll soon enough make his fatal mistake.

Niall rounded on Harry the moment they turned the corridor.

“Harry, do you know what you are doing?” Niall said unnaturally stern.

Harry was taken aback by this and he faltered.

Niall shook his head gently and made Harry sit down on the steel benches.

“I know what is happening, Harry. I can see it.” He said much more softly now.

Harry blinked twice before slumping down on the bench. He understood what Niall was talking about.

“Niall, I couldn’t help it I swear. I would never pressurise him or anything but I can’t _help_ it.”

Niall’s eyes roamed his face before he sighed deeply.

“Harry, mate. I am worried for both of you. He isn’t exactly open about his sexuality and the standing is that he is straight, he on the other hand has no clue that you are not.”

Harry gaped at Niall and opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish.

“How?” He stuttered.

“I may not wear glasses like Louis does but I still have sharper eyes than his. I have seen noodles straighter that you and I have seen loads of noodles in my lifetime. I don’t want either of you guys hearts to break Harry!” Niall exclaimed.

And Harry felt bad for Niall and for himself when he saw the genuine concern in his eyes.

“Niall, I am sorry I have you worried mate. But Okay, I will try and-” he paused, what will he do? Calm himself down? Make himself _not_ like Louis? Keep a safe distance? How does _any_ of that work?

Niall nodded in understanding “So love huh?” Niall smiled at him his eyes showing wonder.

Harry blushed before he bit his bottom lip and looked at Niall from under his eyelashes.

“It is not like that.” Harry murmured.

Niall guffawed, “Look at you all blushing!! Jeremy saw through you mate. What more to say?”

Harry’s eyes widened comically, “He _told_ you?”

“In so many words.” Niall replied.

“Wow.” Harry whispered to himself before physically shaking himself.

“Harry, keep a look out for other guys who deserve you heart okay?” Niall said with a hand on his shoulder before he smiled his maniacal stupid smile that Harry had come to associate Niall with.  
Harry nodded in acceptance before pulling Niall into a hug.

“I really love you, Nialler. I am glad I have you.” Harry whispered.

Niall buried his face in Harry’s neck and held him for a long time before withdrawing and heading to their seniors. It was back to serious doctor duties.

Harry was happy that he had friends who cared about him so much. He knew he was getting Zayn worried because of his crazy schedule and even crazier attraction to a maybe-not-straight boy but he never uttered one word against it. He could also see that Liam too felt bad for him and hopeful at the same time but Louis seemed too completely out of the loop.  

A few restless days and sleepless nights later they went in to check on Jeremy and saw Jeremy’s mom sitting beside him and fixing his hair and rubbing her thumb over his cheeks.

“Hello.” Louis greeted and Harry waved.

She smiled at them and waved them in while Jeremy smiled feebly.

Another report had come in the morning and it was seen that the tumour had stabilised but once the drug would be stopped it may again spread. Meanwhile this dose alone had the boy weak and feeble, Louis was seriously anxious about his reaction to the stronger dose.

He pushed his spectacles up his nose and smiled at Jeremy.

“Hey buddy! How are you?”  
Jeremy winced as if Louis’ voice hurt him and Louis’ smile fell.

“Head hurts.” He croaked and Louis shot a look at Harry before looking back.

“A lot?”

Jeremy barely nodded with his eyes scrunched in pain.

Mrs. Eriksen pointed at the pillow under his head and strands of blond hair were clearly visible. Jeremy was losing hair and her question as clear in her eyes. “What will she tell Jeremy when his hair fall would be much greater?”

Harry saw the silent exchange and went around Mrs. Eriksen and Louis to sit beside Jeremy.

“Hey Jer, do you like cartoons?” He said in his softest voice and Louis nodded appreciatively because Harry’s baritone would be soothing for the boy.

Jeremy cracked open his eyes and nodded.

Harry smiled, “Did you ever see the one Xiaolin showdown?”

Jeremy’s face broke into a wide grin the pain forgotten. “I love it love it! It is so cool, don’t you think?”  
Harry grinned at the little boy’s enthusiasm, “Who is you fav, tiger?”

“Omi!! He is like awesome! He is the tiniest but so powerful and so funny!” Jeremy clapped his hands together.

([Omi](https://www.google.co.in/search?q=omi+from+xiaolin+showdown&tbm=isch&source=iu&imgil=PzPfSIjMYlgL7M%253A%253Bhttps%253A%252F%252Fencrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com%252Fimages%253Fq%253Dtbn%253AANd9GcR2XkADuKYFiCniIPH8jSZpnYNALU4Zy-47IWTkEDqMZmanNXH3%253B401%253B300%253BjG6uThLKMPwBFM%253Bhttp%25253A%25252F%25252Fbenxiaolin.gportal.hu%25252Fgindex.php%25253Fpg%2525253D15463859&sa=X&ei=yynaUuH3E4TprAfRj4CoBw&sqi=2&ved=0CDwQ9QEwBQ&biw=1138&bih=460#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=PzPfSIjMYlgL7M%253A%3BjG6uThLKMPwBFM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fbenxiaolin.gportal.hu%252Fportal%252Fbenxiaolin%252Fimage%252Fnews%252FOmi.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fbenxiaolin.gportal.hu%252Fgindex.php%253Fpg%253D15463859%3B401%3B300))

Louis gasped silently finally catching on to where Harry was heading. He was impressed; he would give this guy a medal for this later.

“Do you wanna be like him?” Harry asked slyly.

Now Jeremy gasped clearly shocked that it was even remotely possible to become like one of his favourite character.

“How?” He asked his grey eyes wide with wonder.   

Harry looked at Mrs. Eriksen once and raised an eyebrow to ask for her approval, she nodded enthusiastically.

“We will get you his haircut Jer! You will look exactly like him! You will be so cool!!” Harry grinned.

Jeremy looked at his mom and then at Louis as if one of them would call the lie and tell him that it was not possible but when no one said anything he finally looked at Harry.

“I want it Harry. Can you please?” He asked sweetly.

“Or I wouldn’t have told you big guy.” And Harry kissed his cheeks and his heart swelled at the smile of Jeremy’s face. Like he was not in pain like he was not losing time of his life.

Louis placed a hand of his shoulder and pumped it gently, Harry looked up to see wonder and adoration in Louis’ eyes and he looked away quickly. This is not good for his save-yourself-from-making-a-fool-of-yourself plan.

First week of November was hell personified for all the boys, Liam was facing his midterm exams, Zayn was working on the song he had to release as his first single and the boys were working overtime to keep the hospital running. Nick was as involved as ever, he was the life of the institution and the patients felt 50% better just by having him in the room.

The one major problem the boys were facing were that of infection due to the cold, majority of the children were developing symptoms of cold and hence there were reactions against the normal drugs given to them, they were pulling up books about the matter and trying to find solutions as Nick encouraged finding the answers themselves.

Louis was rarely ever home but whenever he was he was sifting through his drawers to looks for his old medical books from his graduation. He had not referred to them for a long time now but he smiled whenever he found one of his favourites.  
He huffed and puffed while trying to manage the pile of his heavy Oxford references and dumped them on the dinner table when he could no longer carry them. He simply took the one he’d need for the night and went in to his room to pour over it never realising that a huge change was about to happen because of the books he left behind on the table.

He woke up late the next day and groaned as he saw the time. He had drifted off to sleep somewhere around 4’o clock and it was 7 now, meaning he has had only 3 hours of sleep and a full day ahead of him. He got up in a hurry and bathed and dressed up in a record time and rushed out of the apartment in a rush barely remembering to pick up the thick volume he was reading yesterday.

He realised too late that he should have left a note for Liam that he was leaving for the hospital and he might not come back for dinner but then he figured that he’d just text Liam later. He did not see the envelopes sticking out of the books and neither will he remember to text Liam that day.

 

Liam made it home in the evening tired from his marathon study run. He had finished one of his literature projects that he had to turn in the morning and so he was skipping on sleep and was hoping against hope that maybe Louis was home and he had ordered take away.

He groaned when he entered a clearly empty apartment and bare dinner table which he looked at dolefully.

He expected a note on the refrigerator because Louis usually left him some sassy or on occasions some mushy message for him but he found none. Disappointed he turned to look around and spotted the envelope sticking out and brightened. He was a sucker for old fashioned letters and probably Louis had written him something?

He bounded over to the stack of books and pulled it out to have two more come out of it. They were thin and addressed to no one and Liam opened them enthusiastically.

His eyes flitted over the words and his mouth fell open in shock, he staggered and sat down heavily on the chair nearby and read the rest of the words, he had lost his appetite, his mood and in all possibility he was going to lose his best friend today because he might just end up murdering him.  

 

Louis entered the flat exhausted but in a relatively good mood. One of his long time patients had been discharged today and she had broken into happy tears as she had hugged him and blessed him.  
He smiled as he thought of that but was stopped in his tracks as he saw Liam sitting with his elbows on the chair and forehead resting on his intertwined fingers. He was still and it was evident that he had been frozen in this position for a while now.

“Helooo my lover boy!! Please tell me your Greek God of perfect mysteriousness did not ditch you for someone else tonight?” Louis chirped, while crossing his fingers in the hope that it was nothing serious and he wouldn’t regret his tone later.

Liam remained still as death as if he heard nothing.

“Liam?” Louis asked a little carefully now.  
“Please tell me do I have to kill Zayn or something?”

Liam finally lifted his head and instead placed his chin on his fingers.

“Why Louis, why would you even care? It’s not like I mean anything to you.”   Liam said in an almost whisper and something about his frosty tone made Louis pause in his action of opening the fridge to look for beer.

“Li? What’s up mate?” Louis asked all cheerfulness leaving his body.

Liam stood up suddenly and so much so that the chair toppled over and crashed on the floor.

His head was hung low and hidden in the shadow of his messy hair.

“Tell me why would I think you give two fucks about me?” Liam asked his voice still a mere whisper.

“Maybe because Zayn gives you all the fucks you need?” Louis asked in a last ditch attempt to lighten the mood.

Liam finally decided to make eye contact with Louis and Louis gasped at what he saw, his eyes were bloodshot and Zeus himself would have cowered in front of the thunderbolts he was aiming at Louis.

“How dare you? How very dare you, Louis? How could you call me your best friend all these years? How could you even lie to me?” Liam hadn’t raised his voice even the merest of notch and Louis would have taken that much easier, Liam and he had fought over their course of friendship but never had Liam used this sinister and seething tone on him, it was scaring him.

“You are scaring me Li, what happened?” Louis squeaked.

Liam flung an envelope towards Louis who barely caught and looked at Liam in shock.

“Read this to me will you please?” Liam whispered as he pointed to the envelope with his chin. He looked at it with disgust and revolt.

Louis finally looked down at the envelope he had caught and something clicked in his over-analysing-and-scared-shitless brain and his mouth fell open, he looked at the table where his books were placed and then finally up at Liam.

“Mate I-” Louis began.

“Louis, I am waiting read it out to me.” Liam said his voice having attained a murderous tint.

“Okay first of all, you were not supposed to read this.” Louis began possibly a little saucily to cover the obvious shake in his voice owning to frozen blood in his veins.

“ **LOUIS FUCKING TOMLINSON! READ THIS DAMN LETTER OUT RIGHT NOW!** ” Liam’s voice boomed across the room as he finally snapped and Louis was sure the people within 500 miles radius had heard it.

Louis knew what was written in the letter that the envelope contained and if Liam had read it (Of course!) he has all the rights to be angry.

Louis looked at the fuming Liam and deflated himself; he deserved what he was going to get for it.

He opened the letter he had written years ago, when he was studying to be a doctor and his strength had failed him.

****

**_Mum,_ **

**_Hey! I know I haven’t really been in touch. The dorm Wi-Fi is dead for so long and so I decided to go old fashioned. I am okay here but I love you so much mum and please remember this when you read what I write next because I am scared and I don’t want you to hate me_**.

Louis looked up at Liam to find him still glaring at Louis hotly, so he adjusted his glasses and continued.

**_I am gay mum; I have been for a while now. I did not tell you because I know how broken you were when dad left us and how I had almost lost you back then. I am scared shitless that you will maybe probably hopefully not disappointed in me. I seriously even tried it with Hannah to maybe things settle down the way I would like but it just did not. Please mum, I know what dad did was bad but he was not wrong. I love you so much. Please don’t hate me._ **

**_You sorry son,_ **

**_Louis_ **

****

Louis folded back the letter but his gaze was fixed at the floor, he distinctly remembers having chickened out of sending the letter and how instead he had written a different one and sent it instead. He had stashed it in one of his many books and forgotten all about it until now.

 Louis looked back at Liam a little defiant and a lot nervous.

Liam on the other hand had tears in his eyes, his lower lip was trembling and Louis gritted his teeth in an attempt to stop his inevitable tears.

 “Oh Liam! I am really just so sorry! I am a twat, just the type of critter that someone should stomp to death. I am a worthless friend, I don’t even deserve you.” Louis was crying now, partly due to the emotions he had kept bottled for all this years and so much from hurting the one person who had stuck with him for so long and loved him endlessly, unconditionally. 

“Lou, you hid this from me! I always asked you! You always blew up on me and lied to me!” Liam stuttered, his words getting caught I his throat.

 

Louis pulled back and held Liam from his shoulders at arms distance and looked him in the eyes,

“Li you are the only guy in my life I can trust my life with and know that it’ll be safe.”  
Liam sniffed in response.

 

“I just did not want my mum to know, I know how hard it is for you to keep secrets and I did not want you to burden with it. Just think Li, how hard it must have been for me to keep this from you. I love you mate.” Louis whispered the last line and Liam sobbed.

Louis hugged him hard at that and rocked him gently, “I am sorry, Li. So so sorry!”  
  
Liam carded his fingers through Louis’ hair and nodded in acceptance, “I love you, Lou.”

  
But it was immediately followed by a Liam typical argument, “But Lou! You can’t keep such a huge thing from Jay! Also, it’s fine now but in the long run you will meet someone you’ll want to settle down with and your family will have to know...” Liam went from vehement to soft, getting lost in the implications of this news in their future.

 

Louis sighed, “I am glad that you know now Liam but I have not found the courage for my mum yet. I am just not ready. I can’t” Louis moved to sit on the sofa and dug the heel of his palms on his eyelids.  
  
“Yeah, sure.” Liam put his arm around Louis as he joined Louis and pressed a kiss on his forehead.

“Louis, but please don’t get hurt or hurt anyone because of this okay? You have the right to be happy.” Liam said staring off into the space.

 

Louis looked at Liam so fast that he must have cricked his neck. Liam had meant something significant by that and Louis knew about what too, but he was a chicken and he as quite certain he was going hurt himself and someone else too.

He did not sleep well that night if at all. He kept having flashes of dimples and kept hearing voices calling out to him, he felt someone encircle his waist with their abnormally large palm and once he closed his eyes and saw flash of pretty green eyes.

* * *

 

 Zayn buried his head further in to his pillow to cut out the obscene noise his cell phone was making at the ungodly hour. It took him about 3 seconds to realise that it was the ringtone he had assigned for Liam and he hurried to pick up the call. Liam wasn’t the type for late night talks, he was always so tired from his sleep that he’d sleep like the dead, him calling at- Zayn looked at the watch, 1 in the night spelled trouble.

 “ **Li, babe. What is wrong?** ” Zayn whispered hurriedly as he pressed to receive the call.

Liam did not speak for 2 seconds, “ **Zayn, I-** ” and Zayn could clearly hear the nervousness and pain in his voice.  

“ **Baby?** ” Zayn wanted him to go on; meanwhile a latent fear gripped his heart that Liam was going to break up with him. That is what this late night call means, of course Liam was beautiful and kind and everything a guy would want, why would he want to stick to plain old me?  
  
“ **This is about Louis, Zayn.** ” Liam whispered.  
A break up will not be about Louis right? Louis can’t be a code word for I don’t want you any more right? Okay, so no break up. Phew.

 Zayn breathed in relief, “ **W** **hat happened to him, Lia** **m** **?** ”

“ **I can’t exactly tell you because like I swore but I couldn’t just stand back and watch this happen. I am scared and worried and-** ” Liam was rambling.

“ **Liam, love! Don’t worry; tell me what has got you in such a state?** ” Zayn was getting worried for Liam now, he was clearly scared.

 “ **Zayn, I want you to take care of Harry _._** ” What? Where did Harry come into this? Zayn wondered.

“ **Harry?** ” Zayn asked incredulously.

 “ **I had this-um, _talk_ with Lou today and there were some- ah, _revelations_. Which like might just involve Harry and like his heart, you know?** ” and no Zayn did not know but his brain was going on an overdrive to figure it out and then it somehow _clicked_.  

 “ **Oh, Jesus Christ! Did he? Is he?** ”

Zayn asked his voice few octaves high.

Liam suddenly sounded all guilty and flustered, “ **I don’t know what you are on but I did _NOT_ tell you anything. I just want you to warn Harry or something, this whole thing does not look good to me.** ”

 Zayn realised just then that his mouth was hanging open in surprise, but also a concern for his best friend rose to his throat to constrict him.

 “ **Liam, is Harry going to get hurt?** ” Zayn asked.

 

 

 

“I think both of them are.”

* * *

 

Louis woke up in the morning to the sizzling sound of heavenly food, his stomach grumbled and realised how he had skipped dinner last night. He found Liam cooking bacon for them and Louis went right up to him and wrapped his arms around Liam’s waist and buried his nose in his neck.

“It smells delicious, Li. I love you.”

 “You did not sleep well, Lou. Love you too, honey bunch!” Liam laughed.

Louis ambled over to the dining table and slumped down on the closest chair.

“Bad dreams and kept hearing voices. Did you sneak in Zayn last night?” Louis said in an admonishing voice.

 

Liam chuckled, “Yeah mate, I brought him in last night, and had sex on the chair you are sitting on right now.”  
  
“Ewwwwww, how gross!” Louis exclaimed but his grin negated any annoyance he was about to show.

Liam was learning the subtle art of sarcasm; Zayn has been a bad influence Louis deducted.

 

Louis felt an odd lightness to his feet as he walked up the steps to the hospital, he hugged Alice on his way to the ward and she handed his a lunch box with muffins in it.

“This is for you boys, don’t you eat all of them yourself Lou!” Alice said sternly but laughing right after.

 

Louis made a great show of thinking about it and went, “Naaaa, I think these munchkins would be better in my tummy alone!” He cackled and walked away as Alice made to chase after him.

He went into the locker room and deposited his bag in his assigned locker and his eyes fell on the one right next to his, ‘ _Harry Styles_ ’.

 

His mind went over the exchange that had happened last night and sighed, Liam could not have hinted at Harry right? He had never shown any interest in him, or had he?

 He stared at Harry’s own loopy handwriting for a full minute before closing his locker and making way to the reception and get the schedule for the full day.

  As a rule he began his day with Jeremy and a full check of the medications of the night and all that has to be done through the day. He found Harry already sitting with Jeremy and giggling.

 _Giggling_ like Jeremy, oh Jesus.

 

“Hello boys!” Louis greeted warmly and Jeremy brightened and waved both his tiny hands in enthusiasm. On the other hand the other boy stiffened and squared his shoulders and did not look around for a second,

“Hey, Louis.” Harry said politely with a nod, not quite turning on his chair.

 If you say Louis was surprised that would be the understatement of the century, he had gotten so used to Harry’s cheerful greeting and ‘Lou’ bubbling from his lips that he kept looking at Harry for a full 3 seconds before moving to stand near Jeremy’s bed and picking up his file and the clipboard.

 “How do you feel, Jer?” Louis asked.

“I had a headache this morning and told the nurse and she put a needle in to me.” Jeremy had initially cried and protested to the i.v. needles but now he was getting used to them.

 

“She was giving you a medicine, Jer. I hope you feel better now?” Louis asked.

“Slightly better, not much. How are you Louis?” Jeremy asked with a smile.

 

“I’m good bud!” Louis grinned as he flicked the thermometer to get its reading to baseline, he placed it under his armpit and brushed back Jeremy’s fringe from his head.

 “How are you, Harry?” Louis asked the boy sitting down on the chair his head level with Louis’ chest so that his eyes were not visible to Louis.

 “I am perfect, Louis.” The answer came without a beat, almost mechanical, not normal. Louis kept staring Harry’s head to figure out the reason for Harry’s less than warm behaviour.

“You OK, Haz?” He tried again.

 

Harry inhaled sharply and exhaled, “Yeah, Lou. I am seriously fine just tired from last night.” Louis knew how he sounded tired, right now Harry just sounded defeated and he wasn’t meeting Louis’ eyes. A part of him was silently panicking.

 

Suddenly Harry stood up to his full height so that Louis had to take a quick step away to not get hit by his broad shoulders.

“I will check on Ms. Sanders and administer her morning pills; you stay with Jer and take care, yeah?” Louis did not mention how they always did the rounds the rounds together and the other waited even if they had no particular job and that he had grown very used to that.

“Yeah.”

 

Harry stepped out of the room and closed the door behind him and took deep breaths, _once twice thrice_ before finally pulling a smile on his face and greeting the passing nurse, the scene from this morning flashed through his mind.

 He was preparing fajitas for breakfast when Zayn walked into the room, yawning widely wearing only his shorts and a sheet on his bare torso.

“Slept well, Zayn?” Harry asked cheerfully.

Zayn nodded in response but his eyes widened as he saw all the food Harry was preparing.

 

“Are we throwing a breakfast party and I am just horribly under dressed?” Zayn asked.

“Oh no! I am preparing extra to take along with me! I know lately Liam has been working so hard with his exams I don’t think he’d be cooking too on top of that. Louis on the other hand better not be cooking for the goodwill of this community and his neighbours, so I though I’ll cook something and take it for him!” Harry sounded so happy and excited at the prospect that Zayn did not have the heart to say anything against it but years of friendship behind them, Harry turned to look at Zayn with a question in his eyes.

 

“What’s wrong Zayn? By now you’d be teasing me about how whipped I am!” Harry said.

 Zayn pondered on the possibility of just smiling and giving some excuse but Liam had given him time to warn Harry and how he could let his own best friend be deluded?

 “Hazza, you like trust me yeah?” Zayn asked uncertainly and Harry’s eyebrows got lost in his mess of brown curls.

“What kind of a question is this, Z?”

 

Zayn gulped, “H, I don’t want you to get too involved with Lou. Like he is a great person and I _really_ like him but I would just advice you to keep it at that, like friends.” Zayn wanted to continue but he just kept his mouth closed.

 Harry looked from Zayn to the floor and then to the kitchen counter, he kept staring at the granite before continuing.

“Was it Louis calling you in the night?” Harry asked.  

 “It was Liam, Harry. And he did not tell me anything but to give you a fair warning.” Zayn sounded apologetic and Harry could not figure out a reason why.

“Hey, Zaynie! It’s not your fault or anything okay? I love and trust you enough to bet my life for you. I will do what you asked.” Harry said looking into Zayn’s eyes.

 

Zayn wrapped the gangly boy in his arms and placed Harry’s head on his shoulder.

“I will take care of you. But please you too take care of yourself.”

Harry nodded against his shoulder.

 

“Take the fajitas for Liam yeah? Meet him for lunch! I am sure he’d be so happy to have you with him.” Harry smiled at Zayn and Zayn kissed his forehead before ruffling his hair.

 “You’ll make someone so lucky someday Harry.”

Harry smiled sadly and closed his eyes to push away the blue eyes and kind smile that threatened to invade his thoughts.   

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you giving yo heart yet? <3  
> My [Tumblr!](http://ms-kryptonite.tumblr.com/)


	18. The curtain is raised

Louis was transfixed at the peeking bulb of the thermometer pondering over Harry’s odd behaviour.  
Last night he had been perfectly fine, he had brought tea for Louis fussing that Louis had not been taking care of himself. Harry could be having one of those days maybe.

“Louis, it’s been more than two minutes now.” Jeremy reminded Louis.

“Yeah buddy.” Louis noted a low grade fever running on him and duly noted it on the sheet.

Louis gave him the appropriate tablet and tucked him in his blankets better; he turned to leave when a thought struck him.

“Hey Jer, was Harry behaving any odd today?” Louis asked offhandedly.

The resulting smile from him was not what Louis was expecting. “Yeah! We discussed how we’ll get the haircut in the evening and he promised to get me home-made cookies tomorrow!”

Okay that did not sound like Harry was in a bad mood before he walked in to the room, or was he acting? But he can’t act; lord knows Harry can’t pretend something without the risk of spontaneous combustion.

Louis hummed and walked out of the room and gave a note to the nurse to check the inventory for the drug they would use for Jeremy’s chemotherapy.

He pulled out his cell phone to text Zayn and ask about Harry but he thought that would sound very desperate, and Louis doesn’t do desperate.

On his way to the adjoining ward he ran into Niall.

“Nialler, my dearest Irishman!” Louis grinned and Niall fist bumped him.

“So what’s up Tommo? How’s Jer?” he pointed to the door with his chin.

“I was hoping to avoid it but we’ll have to go ahead with chemo. His condition has degraded so much in this month alone. We can’t risk anymore.”

Niall nodded his head in understanding, “Are you even getting any sleep?”

“Barely. But hey! Duty calls.” Louis smiled ruefully but then he thought of all the people he was trying to cure and his smile changed into something genuine. 

Niall hugged him suddenly and buried his face in Louis’ neck and Louis stumbled before catching hold of himself and laughed loudly as he wrapped his arms around the boy.

“You okay Niall?” Louis asked.

“Top of my game!” Niall chirped and winked exaggeratedly.

“Niall! No sex life talks in the corridor!” Louis chided Niall half-heartedly but his grin was blinding.

“Where’s Harry though? Not here yet?” Niall asked looking around. 

Louis felt his smile slip away slightly, “He is in some other patient. He went ahead of me.”  
Niall looked at Louis calculatingly, left eyebrow raised. This had never happened before, harry always followed Louis. Harry was without fail where Louis was and this new development was odd.

But he refrained from making any comment.

“Oh well, let’s meet at lunch then!” Niall gave him a two fingered salute before moving away to meet Stan.

He made his way into the cafeteria to find Stan settling down on one of the chairs and he walked over to him,

“Hey where are the lads?” Louis enquired.

“Niall and Harry were together in the library and said they’d be here in 5!” Stan said as he took a sip from his coffee.

Louis shivered as a cold draft hit him, “Why are the damn heaters off today? Damn this basement!” Louis rubbed his palms together to get some heat from the friction as he had very inconveniently forgotten his coat upstairs.

“Here take this.” Stan removed his own jacket and handed it over to Louis, “I am pretty much hot thank you!” Stan winked and Louis rolled his eyes but sighed in content as he was enveloped by the large for his size coat.”

Just then Harry and Niall walked in to the cafeteria probably having a serious discussion going by the serious look on both of their faces, just then Harry’s eyes fell on Louis and then on the oversize coat he was snuggled into and then at Stan and his obviously missing coat. He looked ahead resolutely and steered Niall towards the coffee stall. And suddenly Louis was not comfortable warm but positively burning. He felt the heat on his cheeks rise along with the panic in his chest. He felt like a culprit caught with something he was not supposed to and he was amazed that Stan was sitting there oblivious to this turmoil in his head.

“I will go get myself some Tea too.” Louis said hurriedly as he made his way towards the two boys with their backs to them. He did not want to eavesdrop but it got tougher when he drew closer to them.

“Talk to him, Haz!” Niall whispered vehemently.

“No.” Harry dismissed it without even 1% chance of bargain. Niall made a noise of impatience.

“I’ll tell you Harry, you’ll just end up hurting yourself and-” Niall’s foretell was cut short as Louis moved to stand beside Harry and Niall’s eyes widened a little before he picked up his cup, smiled at Louis and walked away to join Stan.

Louis tickled Harry on his waist but Harry just squirmed away with a ‘Louis!’ and gave him a small smile before picking his own tea and walking over the table to find Harry sitting in between Niall and Stan, he always sat by him for lunch and he’d steel lunch from his box or his plate.

“Why are the air-conditions installed if not to be working?” Louis barked at the caretaker before heading over to the table. He will apologise tomorrow, he just needs to vent a little.

The first thing he did was remove the coat and hand it back to Stan muttering something about oversized and too warm and instead focused on the box Liam had packed for him for lunch. By rule all of them tried and avoided the cafeteria food for the fear of finding themselves getting treated by one of their little friends’ circle.

Predictably, Harry cracked jokes and sneezed like a kitten every once in a while and Louis felt his eyes getting drawn to Harry and his heart melting at how cute he looked with the tip of his nose pink due to the cold.

“Hey, Louis. What’s in that box?” Stan asked pointing to the box placed on the chair next to him.

“Oh these are muffins! I brought them for you all!” Louis snickered when three jaws fell straight to the table and they gaped at him.

“You made them, Lou?” Harry asked in wonder and he was suddenly caught up in the desire to say yes, yes he did and garner all the attention from the pretty pink nosed boy.

“Well technically, Alice _made_ them for us but I _brought_ them for you didn’t I?” Louis winked and broke into laughter as the boys cursed him and dug into the delicious muffins. And for the first time in the whole day Louis saw Harry’s genuine smile on his face and he noted away in some corner of his brain that muffins were a way to have this kitty of a overgrown boy to be really, genuinely happy.

It was 8 by the time they could think about heading back to home and Louis was still helplessly trying to get Harry to talk to him like he used to. It was true he was getting a little irritated but it was nothing compared to the sinking sensation in his stomach.

Once in a while he’d think he was cracking this new façade but then Harry would retreat in to his shell even deeper after such an instance.

“Haz, do you wanna have dinner with me? Ni and Stan are going to the bar for quick drinks but I am not quite in the mood.” They were in the parking lot and the wind blowing was ruffling up their collars and messing with their hairs.

Harry stopped in his tracks of heading over to his car and turned to look at Louis slowly.

“I promised I will have dinner with Zayn tonight. I miss talking to him lately. ‘m sorry” Harry said looking at the ground not daring to meet Louis’ eyes lest he should break and go with Louis. He almost did bite his tongue and take back his words when he heard the sad “No, It’s okay Harry.”

Harry looked at Louis and even though the parking lot was not quite well lit he could see the pain in Louis’ eyes and if he could he would run up to him and take him into his arms and kiss him deep enough to leave his gasping for breath.

Louis held his gaze with just as much emotions but ones that Harry did not understood but before anything could be said or done he just pressed the button of his car lock and the car beeped to life and the spell was broken. Louis looked around the empty lot and smiled sadly at Harry before waving him a goodbye and making his way back to the main building.

Harry groans as he sits on the sofa, he was in bad mood, had a virtually bad day and he needed his best friend.

“ZAYN!!!!!” Harry hollered and a moment later Zayn came running out of his room with his music sheets rolled in his hands to make a weapon of some sorts.

“What what?” Zayn asked looking around wildly.

Harry tightly shut his eyes and made grabby hands at Zayn who muttered “Seriously dude? You sacred me halfway to China!” but he came anyways.

He enveloped Harry in his arms and adjusted so that Harry’s head was comfortable on his shoulder.

“I hate you for us not being a couple. It’s save me so much hard work and stuff.” Harry pouted.

“And stuff?” Zayn laughed.

“Yes stuff!” Harry emphasised like a child to which Zayn shook his head in mock exasperation.

“What happened, Haz?” Zayn asked in all seriousness.

“I was avoiding Louis today.” Harry left it that but Zayn understood, Harry finds it physically impossible to avoid anyone and he had proven it time and again infact in 9th grade, he had been dared to do precisely that and he recalls how heartbroken he had been. He had hugged Devon Lucas in the corridor for 3 minutes straight and handed him a box of homemade muffins.

Zayn sighed,

“If this makes you more upset than what might come in the future then I wouldn’t ask you to continue this, H.” Zayn said.

Harry looked up at Zayn, “I feel terrible Zayn. He wanted to hang out with me later but I shot it down. Shit Zayn!” Harry sounded morose and Zayn had never really denied Harry anything.

“You can go talk to him, Haz. If you really feel that bad you should talk to him.” Harry straightened and looked at Zayn fully, “You honest Zaynie? He won’t like hate me or whatever?”

Zayn chuckled, “Come on Harry! You are over analysing! Go now!”

Harry’s grin could have supplied electricity for their whole street for the coming 15 years.

And then an idea struck him.

He stood outside Louis’ door and rocked on the calls of his heels a box of homemade cookies clutched in his sweaty hands. In the past two minutes he had checked the time 15 times (11 p.m.), he had wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans 10 times (should have brought the sanitizer!) and had turned to leave at least 5 times. At last he took a deep breath which resulted in him inhaling some dust and he sneezed.

By the time he had recovered from it and straightened his back, Louis had opened the door and was giving Harry a once over. Harry was wearing the same shirt from the day but in his haste had forgotten his jacket at home.

“You are not dressed for winter, Harry.” Louis stated before stepping back to let him enter. 

Harry took out a neatly folded handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his nose as he entered and Louis noted with mild interest that something could even fit in those paint-on pants of his.

“Sit Harry, I will make you tea.” Louis was avoiding eye contact with Harry and Harry understood why. He deserved it.

“Louuuu.” His voice was questioning and adoring and Louis felt a shiver run down his spine and back. He could easily lose himself to that voice, wake up to it and lose himself to sleep with Harry saying his name over and over again. And not to mention other circumstances where Harry will have to chant his name.

He cleared his throat and his mind before responding. “Yeah Harry?”

He had his back to Harry but he heard the sofa creak as he got up and made his way over to Louis and stood almost pressed to his back.

“You call me Haz, most of the time.” Harry mumbled despondently and Louis forehead crinkled in confusion. All through the day Harry had clearly avoided Louis and now he was being sad that Louis had not taken his nick name.

“You avoided me today, Haz.” Louis said softly as he placed the kettle on the stove with his back still to Harry.

Harry extended his arm so that the box was right in front of Louis’ face.

“I was upset over something but obviously my anguish was misguided.” Louis smiled a little at Harry using the word ‘anguish’. Normal people would say things like sadness or pain maybe, but Harry Styles is far from normal.

“Why were you in anguish, Styles?” Louis asked fiddling with the knobs on the stove.

“Will you look at the box please?” Harry said instead.

Louis picked it up and looked inside to find a heap of freshly made choco-chip with a note in loopy handwriting saying, ‘I’m so sorry, Lou! L’ and Louis melted like butter on a heated pan on the hottest summer day.

He turned to face Harry now and instinctively took a step as he was almost nose to nose with Harry now but he hit the counter and gripped it with both his hands.

“Am I forgiven?” Harry asked and Louis had already forgiven him when he had seen his shuffling on his doorstep.

“Yeah.” Louis said and Harry grinned and picked Louis up in his arms and swung him around while Louis squealed and then proceeded to place him on the kitchen counter.

Louis huffed and adjusted his fringe, his eyes wide and cheeks flushed.

“Herold! Really some manners now!” Louis chided but Harry parted Louis’ legs to stand between them and placed his forehead on Louis’.

“I am really sorry yeah?” and Louis nodded in understanding acutely aware of all the places Harry was currently touching and just how close Harry’s crotch was to his.

Just then the kettle whistled and Harry kissed Louis on the cheek and moved away to settle down on the sofa.

“Where’s Liam?” Harry asked.

“He is asleep in his room; I was up going through some patient cases and was just about to turn in.” Louis said pouring it in cups and handing it to Harry who was shivering. As Louis owned nothing that would fit Harry, he had draped a thick sheet over him and if his fingers had brushed over his shoulders then Louis could not be held responsible. Harry downed his tea in a hurry to chase away the cold and Harry burned his tongue in the process.

 It was 12 a.m. by the time they were halfway through the cookies and Harry yawned widely and rubbed his eyes with his knuckles. And Louis felt himself drawn to the younger boy or at least make a very inappropriate ‘Awwwwww.’ But he’ll not because he is grown up man for Christ’s sake!

After placing the cup in the sink he went to stand near the door formulating words in his brain for an appropriate bye when they heard a gentle pitter-patter on the balcony and Harry looked at Louis in amazement as the noise picked up to be more insistent.

It was raining out and by the sound it, it was a heavy downpour.

“So it’s raining out.” Harry stated chewing his lip and Louis strained to not roll his eyes at Harry.

“Haz, do you wanna turn in here? It’s pretty late and also in this rain nothing would be visible outside.” Louis asked.

Harry bit his lower lip in thought. Zayn had said to make amends, staying over might take it a step further. He can’t keep pining for Louis and sleeping at his place probably might just signal that but then again, Louis is looking partially hopeful and cuddly in that maroon jumper and grey beanie and his little feet in his bunny slippers and he realises he is pondering over a lost cause.

“If you don’t mind?”

Louis decided to take the sofa while he forced Harry to take the bed, Louis was gentleman please!  
(NO Haz, I don’t want your extremities lying about on the floor because of the cold.)

It has been half hour since and some 50 tosses and turns on the sofa when Louis finally huffed and gave up and pressed his spectacles back on his nose. He might as well scroll through his social life. Twitter the bane of modern life if you ask Louis. Just when he was going to tap on the little blue bird he heard soft footfalls behind him and turned to find Harry adorning a fully fledged pout and scratching his arm lightly. His head a tilted slightly and making him look cute even when his shirtless state made is purely obscene.   

“You’ll catch cold, Harry! Jesus!” and Louis was up in a blink, his phone forgotten on the coffee table and rushed towards Harry to push him back towards the bedroom and Harry whined.

“Louuuuu, I am cold!”

“Of course you moron! You are standing in my living room in without your shirt on!”

“But Louuuuuu, I am cold in the bed too!” Harry whined some more.

And why was Harry elongating his name? That is annoying! Not adorable. Maybe a little. Maybe a little more than little. Sue him.

“What can I do about that, Haz?” Louis asked as they were inside the room and he had pushed his shoulders down to make him sit back on the bed.

“Sleep with meeeee.” Harry smiled serenely at Louis with a ringing surety that Louis will not deny that.

On the other hand Louis Tomlinson was currently facing with a dilemma. One was the chance to hold Harry while in his bed, while well, half naked!

And then there was the same things coming from the little devil perched atop his shoulder and whispering into his ears. Or will that be the angel trying to save the dregs of his sanity. What is he dressed the angel in the devil’s outfit? Why is Louis thinking all this again? Oh yea, because Harry is looking at him all hopeful.

“Scoot over then, I sleep on the left.” Louis muttered as he slumped on his bed and the mattress dipped with the additional weight.

Harry grinned like Louis had handed him an early Christmas present. “You can always take the left, Lou!”

And Louis did not think of it as a suggestion that there would be more sleeping around or lack thereof happening. It was just what Harry would say. Clearly Louis is overanalysing when he is sleep deprived.

He had barely made himself comfortable when Harry decided to become the bigger spoon and hug Louis’ middle and Louis can’t help that it _tickles_.  

“Tickles, Hazza!” Louis squired impossibly close to Harry’s chest and giggled.

He giggled. Working in the Neuro department for so long is coming to bite his ass now.

But Harry decided to laugh it off and curled his legs so that his knees were tucked below Louis’ and Louis smiled at the comfort and the agony and the all around frustration of it. He was gently drifting off in a boat which was not heading to his destination plus it was fucking Titanic too. So going to sink.

“Night Hazza.”

“G’Night Loubear!” Harry might have kissed his hair but Louis decided to think that he hasn’t but hope that he has.

“Lou?” Harry whispers after a minute and Louis hums in response.

“I really love the rain.” Harry says like his saying it aloud will jinx it. Make it go away somehow and then he’d not be able to share this crucial piece of information with Louis and he can’t bear that.

Louis smiled and tucks away this information in the box in the back of his mind labelled as Harry. All the delicate memories and thoughts. Safe from the world.

The next morning dawns with Louis having somehow turned during the night and conveniently (Oh so conveniently) positioning him with his chest to Harry now, his hand curled into him and tucked below his chin while Harry’s long hand went over him to Louis’ back and pull him in flush against himself. Harry’s chin was placed gently over Louis’ head and one of his legs was pulled in between Harry’s legs. Louis could see the bird tattoos at his eye level and admire how intricate they were and kiss them if he should so wish. He felt warm and loved and so _fucked_ in this position with Harry.   
He cannot afford to have such luxuries with Harry, wake up in a tangle of limbs and feeling warm inside. He had never really had this with Liam even and this was _Harry,_ the boy with messy curls and full pink lips.

He gently moved back enough to look at Harry’s face and breathed deeply to calm his instincts to kiss him Good morning. He shook him awake instead.

“It’s morning Hazza! Cereal time!” Louis said in a sing song voice. And like a personal mockery of Louis’ pain, Harry groaned and pulled him closer and aligned his forehead with Louis’ and smacked his lips in his sleep. He probably mumbled Louis’ name too but it was softer than the wind blowing in through the cracks on the door and he could be mistaken.

“Come on Haz! We have to get going too!” Louis put a last ditch effort to get up from the bed but failed miserable and then did the only thing that came to his mind. He saw the glass of water sitting on the table on Harry’s side and he extended his hand enough to dip his fingers in the chilled water, he shivered as the warmth of his fingers were chased away by the sudden chill and after he was sure his fingertips would be appropriately cool he pressed them along Harry’s ribcage.

It was satisfying to see Harry gasp as his eyes fly open, his breathing coming his wild disarray and on a second thought Louis did not really need this image to stay in his head.

“Lou! What did you do that for? I was dreaming!” Harry complained.

“We have Jeremy’s chemotherapy today, Hazza. Get up!” Harry’s eyes widened in realisation effectively snapping him out of his sleep and his dreams.

“Oh shit Lou! Let’s go!” They don’t eat and hastily chug down the glass of juice and Harry puts on the shirt from last night while Louis puts on plain blue shirt over his red chinos.

They hurry in Harry’s car stopping on the way for Zayn who was waiting with two lunch boxes in his hands. Harry had called him in advance to bring over the cookies he had made for Jeremy but he was delighted to see that Zayn had packed a bigger box with lunch in it for Harry. Harry stepped out of his car and pulled Zayn in a hug and breathed in his scent of spices and chocolate.

“You are the best person I have met in my life Zayn!” Harry says reverently and Zayn laughs as he pats Harry’s head. As Harry goes to sit in the driver’s seat he sees Zayn wave at Louis politely but his smile did not quite reach his eyes and a stone sank in the pit of his stomach. Zayn was wary of Louis hurting Harry and that was definitely weighing Zayn down.

Harry blew him a kiss as he drove away.

In the hospital the first thing Harry did was run over to Jeremy’s ward and hug him when he sees the grey eyes boy standing near his bed. He had gone down on his knees to hug him proper and Jeremy hugged him back with equal force. As Harry stood up it was Louis’ chance to pick him and hug the little boy as Jeremy wrapped his little feet around Louis’ waist.

“You look handsome today Louis!” Jeremy grins.

Louis gives off a high trilled laugh, “I look messy and ill, Jeremy. Not handsome!” but Jeremy shook his head in denial and gave Louis a look that said as plain as day. _‘You are such an idiot how do you get to treat me?’_ and Louis couldn’t help the second bout of laughter that came. Jeremy had that effect on then, making them forget that for the next two days Jeremy would be near passed out due to the effects of the drugs and surrounded by beeping machines so that his vitals can be closely monitored during the session. This was his first chemo session and they did not want his to suffer.

“Hey Jer! You look so like Omi!” Harry grins at Jeremy fondly and he brightens.

“I know right? When you guys left, Dr. Nick got someone to shave my head and give me these!” he pointed to the dots on his forehead like they would appear on Omi whenever he used his powers.

“That is wicked I tell you!” Harry laughs and kisses the boys’ cheeks. Just then a nurse came in with the clothes he’ll have to wear for the next two days.

Harry handed over the cookie box to him and asked the nurse to help him eat a bit of it before the session began because during and post session he won’t be able to keep down much.

They promised Jeremy that they’d come back with his parents in some 20 minutes and left to find Nick.

He was sitting in his room pouring over a thick volume and he visibly brightened when the saw the lads.

“You are here early! Come sit!” He was dressed impeccably in a tight black T-shirt and a steel gray blazer on it, his hair was carefully styled into a tall quiff. He seemed to have put an effort on his dressing today. His stethoscope and lab coat draped on the back of his chair.

“You are dressy today, Nick.” Louis observed.

“And you too look quite charming Louis!” Nick tilted his head at him and then looked over at Harry.

“But you sir, are wearing the same clothes from yesterday. Does that mean a night out?” Nick winked at Harry and Harry shot a shocked look at Louis and Nick definitely caught that if his smile was anything to go by.

“How interesting.” He mumbled to himself.

“What’s the occasion Nick?” Harry asked and Louis had known Harry long enough to notice the little frown on his lips, almost imperceptible.

Nick smiled at his desk before looking up at both of them, “I have a date tonight boys!” Nick exclaimed as he rubbed his hands together and his announcement was met by silence.

Sometimes Louis forgot that even though Nick Grimshaw was the senior resident doctor for Apollo super speciality he was still 29 and had his heart broken by a man he had loved just because he was too devoted to his work. He deserved this happy development in his life.

“I am so very happy for you, Sir! He is a very lucky man.” Louis smiled.

“Yeah, very lucky indeed.” Harry smiled too but he looked positively pained now and Louis was aware how he gripped the paper weight a little too tight.

And it seems that Nick did too because he was looking at Harry with a smirk on his face and a question in his eyes.

Harry coughed lightly and steered the topic towards the complication that might arise during the procedure and what will be the safety aspects needed.

When they came out of the room, Nick had replaced his blazer by his lab coat and went straight to Jeremy’s room while Louis excused himself for the loo.

Harry shot a quick text to Zayn

**_To Zaynie_ **

**_Cn I possibly b liking 2 men @ once?  
8:15 a.m._ **

He was pleased when it pinged almost instantly signalling a reply from Zayn.

**_From Zaynie_ **

**_Possibly yeah, bt u always lyk 1 btr thn d other._ **

**_8:16 a.m._ **

****

**_To Zaynie,_ **

****

**_What dz 1 do?_ **

**_8:16 a.m._ **

****

**_From Zaynie_ **

****

**_U let d thngs play out & c hu is d better candidate._ **

**_8:17 a.m._ **

****

**_To Zaynie_ **

****

**_ILY. Xx_ **

**_8:17 a.m._ **

          

 Even though his mind screamed Louis’ name at him he was not sure of how much of a ‘candidate’ Louis was honestly with his best friend’s boyfriend who happens to be Louis’ best friend and a good friend of Harry’s had already warned against it.  

Maybe he was always a little masochist.

Harry and Louis entered the room and saw it had transformed in to something appropriate for the monitoring of Jeremy.

He was chatting with his parents who sat at the edge of his bed and they requested them to step out of the room while they set him up. They kissed him on the forehead before leaving and he obediently laid down for the nurses to hook him to the heart beat monitor.

He was given few tablets to ease into the chemo and Nick did the final checkups himself before he said it was okay to begin.

If Jeremy was scared he did not let it show on his face and standing besides his bed Louis and Harry felt like his parents coming to grips with the fact that their little angel has cancer and he has some 40% chance of making it out alive of the whole ordeal.

All of them left with a promise to come back hour to hour and adjust the drip flow and administer the drugs. It was tearing away a limb and leaving the room with Jeremy but they were doctors and there were other responsibilities.

In these two days Harry had only one single thought in his head, he’d happily take any pain in lieu of his child having a happy and healthy life. He would never be able to bear this. He always tried to be brave for everyone but hardly anyone understood how scared he usually was. He had bit his nails jagged and was certain his complexion had not improved in these two days. Zayn and Liam had come over to meet them and help them with anything they wanted.

The session went without a hitch though and Nick was certain that Jeremy would recover within 2 days, recovery being a relative term where he’d be able to interact with them once in a while. It always takes a toll on you because hunger is lost and you are perpetually nauseated. You become repulsed to things you used to life before and also your body feels limp and week. He’s have to have regular chemo therapy sessions until the coming month and if there is no improvement by the last week of  December he’ll have to go into a surgery where there is a good chance that Jeremy will never come out and smile at them again. It’ll be a tough decision but he hopes that it never comes to that.

The next two week also pass in a blur of work as Liam gave the last of his exams, Zayn finishes up his song and now he has meetings with different labels to actually go ahead with the production and Louis and Harry are mostly besides Jeremy, cleaning him up when needed and monitoring his conditions. His room is back to normal now. But they hated how fragile Jeremy looked.

The reports came in the day later.

The tumour had not receded in size but not substantially, this could be easily due to the shock of a new drug but thankfully there had been no spread. And this was really good news.

During all this time, Louis was always beside Harry and Harry was always taking care of Louis in all the ways he knew of. They would sometimes Skype their mums together and eat dinner at each other’s places to save time and individual energy. It was convenient and it was comfortable. For Harry it was mostly beautiful.

It came naturally that they would mostly end up curled around each other and waking each other up with whispered good mornings and in the chill it’d feel surreal and impossibly like a fairytale but a fairytale none of them was actually living. This was a like cruel rehearsal of a play both of them are not actors of.

After the gloom and doom of the beginning of the month it was a little warming when Anne reminded them of Thanksgiving and it considerably brightened up the rest of their day. They had no major plans for the day but Harry called up Niall while Louis called Stan and they all decided to have dinner at Harry’s place and then a lad’s night out in their own celebration. Liam and Zayn were obviously coming, they did not deem important for _formal_ invitations.

November is a rolling haze of rain and fog and Harry’s favourite invariably becomes blowing on the windows so that it fogs and draw figures on it with his fingers and watch as the fog slowly dissipates and condensation flows in rivulets down the glass.

“It was better when you used to make penises.” Zayn says as he sets down the mug of tea for Harry and coffee for himself.

Harry looks over at Zayn and back at the doodle he had made subconsciously. He had written LT and encased it in a heart and he wiped it hesitantly alarm rising in his chest. He had not meant Zayn to see it. Hell he had not even meant for this to happen.        

But as he looked at Zayn with slight fear in his eyes he saw that Zayn had picked up a magazine and was casually browsing through it.

“Hey Zayn, it mean nothing you know?” Harry whispered as he moved towards the coffee table and picked up his mug.

Zayn blew on his mug before taking a careful sip and placing it back on the table.

“I am worried Haz, I won’t interfere too much really but I am anxious and that is the truth.” Zayn said not meeting Harry’s eyes staring off into space.

“I am too you know?” Harry laughed self deprecatingly.

“I think I have fallen for him and I am so scared because I know any day now he is going to break my heart. It is inevitable but here I am, waiting for it.” Harry too had now placed his mug back on the table and rubbing his hands together to generate heat.

Zayn looked at Harry now, his eyes still remained dead.

“I wish I could have done something.” Zayn whispered.

“You have done more than anyone else can ever do for me, Z.” Harry said and went to sit on Zayn’s lap and hug him like that. Zayn unfroze at that and smiled and pulled Harry closer and rubbed circles on his back.

“You’ll come out a better man you know? Heartbreak does that.” Zayn said knowingly and Harry knew he was right.

“Well, something to look forward to then!” Harry laughed a little before hauling Zayn up with him and setting him on his feet.

“Go get dressed now, we are going shopping for tomorrow! We are gonna have guests!” Harry grinned as Zayn groaned.

“I didn’t even finish my coffee you twat!”

“Do it quick then Zaynie baby, Liam uncle will come too! We don’t want to disappoint him!” Harry said in a high pitch voice.

“This talk is becoming too incestuous for my liking.” Zayn grumbled as he picked up his mug and left for his room to change and Harry laughed shamelessly. They were going shopping and there was nothing that can pull him down now.

The evening played out like it was a movie and Harry and Zayn were those people who accidentally witnessed the heartbreak of someone they know.

They had just finished shopping and were carelessly ambling away to their apartment when Harry saw Nick sitting on the table near the window of a fancy restaurant. The other guys must be his date then, Matthew.

Harry would have completely avoided the whole situation if they weren’t so clearly involved in a heated argument. He was on the opposite sidewalk and stilled suddenly so that Zayn nearly crashed into him.

“A little warning, mate!” but then Zayn followed the trajectory of Harry’s sight and observed for himself what was happening. Nick was opting for cool and collected while Mathew was making violent gestures. 

Harry did not even perform the mandatory checking if the road was clear or not before he was bounding over to the other side, towards the restaurant.

Just when he reached the other sidewalk, Matthew reached for Nick’s collar and tugged at it sharply and that was all it took for Harry to sprint into the restaurant and pull Matthew off forcefully.

“How dare you actually touch Nick like that?” Harry whispered venomously. He did not want to create a scene in here but he was not above hitting this guy if he should dare step his line.

 “That is absolutely none of your business you motherfu-” Matthew began but was cut off Nick.

“Enough!” and for once he looked and sounded positively murderous.

“He is my intern and nobody; _nobody_ dares say a word about him.”

Matthew eyes Nick and Harry like they were food gone bad before he rose from his chair.

“You and your fucking hospital, Grimshaw. No wonder you’ll find no one to like you.” and it was only because Nick was holding Harry’s wrist that he did not punch him in the face and made sure that the geography of his face is changed forever.

“I don’t believe my goodwill is any of your concern, Matthew.” Nick said gravely as Matthew stormed off the restaurant where Zayn was standing at the door and was clever enough to trip him a little on his way out.

Nick turned to Harry and smiled at him wearily. “Hey Harry.”

Harry looked at Nick in deep contemplation, “You are coming with me.”

Harry paid no attention to the arguments offered just halting enough for Nick to pay the bill and he and Zayn led him to his flat and offered him a warm mug of coffee.

“Nick, your choice in men is something I don’t want to inspire in myself.” Harry said once he had settled down in front of him and Zayn had gone about to call Liam and tell him about the next day’s plan of Thanksgivings.

Nick smiled ruefully, “Honestly, I wouldn’t wish my choice on anyone else really, two weeks of dating was all that took for him to hate my profession.”

“Hey Nick! The perfect man is so out there, who’ll like you for the wonders you do on daily basis and love you being so sincere about it. It’s pathetic bad luck on them to b honest.” Harry said as a matter of fact.

Nick smiled as he looked into Harry’s eyes and Harry suddenly felt all hot around his collar.

He coughed gently before getting up and busying himself with making dinner, he also got his jacket over for Nick to wear and remove his fancy suit if he’d like and Nick was thankful for that. Zayn came in just as he was pulling out the groceries and announced to the room that Liam was in on the party tomorrow and Nick crimpled a little suddenly aware that he will be alone on Thanksgiving with Matthew out of the picture and he can definitely not go home too.

Harry was taught nothing but to be a gentleman, “Hey Nick, we are hosting this get together tomorrow, you are coming right?” Harry grinned.

And Nick’s answer was his first genuine smile in the whole of evening and suddenly Zayn knew who the second guy from Harry’s text was. Tomorrow might play out like something he’d remember for the rest of his life, Zayn mused.

The next evening, Liam came in first and attached himself by the lips to Zayn and although Harry made chocking noises, he grinned too much for them. Stan came in with Niall and it appears that they’d been out eating since the morning.

“Someday this metabolism would fail you two and you’ll burst.” Liam smirked while Zayn cackled.

“Then I’ll die a well fed man, Li.” Niall said and took a bow while Stan and Liam rolled their eyes.

Louis was on the stairs when he heard someone call him and he turned to find Nick hurrying after him with a plastic box in his hands.

“Louis! How are you?” Nick huffed as he came to stand near Louis.

Louis looked at Nick with mild surprise he had no idea that when Harry had said ‘just the boys’, he had meant Nick too.

“Hello to you too Nick! I thought you’d be with Matthew today.” Louis said.

“Oh, well we didn’t really work out. So Harry invited me over.” Nick explained as they reached Harry’s floor. Louis nodded in understanding but offered no consolation.

Harry pulled both of them in a hug as soon as he got to the door. Zayn suddenly kissed Liam on the lips once and moved towards Harry and placed a gentle hand on his back to lead him away.

“Haz, do be careful today.” Harry raised his eyebrows in a silent question but Zayn simply picked up the wine and moved to the living room.

Harry served a small turkey, he had prepared himself and they were pleasantly surprised to find that Nick had brought over homemade apple pie for them, Harry clapped his hands together like a happy seal and ran to the kitchen to get spoons for all. Louis had to physically restrain Niall from actually dipping his hands into it in his impatience. Louis thought that so much excitement was unwarranted for; he could have easily cooked something too. He did not merely because he was busy with studying, Liam was busy enough to not help and he was afraid he’d burn down his apartment with his cooking skills or like Liam likes to point out, lack thereof.

Then a though a crept into his mind that Nick being the senior doc makes him all the more busy with his life and yet he cooked, his mind needs to have internal arguments. Louis rolled his eyes at himself.

That is when he saw Harry looking straight at him with an amused grin on his face, oh right he makes these faces that go along with his silent conversations. Right.

Later in the bar they all took a booth and Louis might have been quick in his act of sitting beside Harry when he had slid in after Stan. So now Liam came in from the far end sandwiched by Stan and Zayn and Nick came in next and Niall took the edge as he’d be the one who’d hold the steady supply of alcohol.

They were pleasantly tipsy by the time Niall brought their 5th vodka shots.

“Lou, you should really top now. You are such a lightweight.” Liam advised.     

“Oh shuzz up dad! I can handle it!” Louis slurred very aware of the fact that he can’t infact handle it.

“See it’s raining out. It’s beautiful. Let Louis have his fun!” Louis said as he threw out his hands and wrapped them around Harry who let out a low chuckle.

“If that’s the case then, how does a drinking game sound?” Harry said.

It was met by groans from Zayn and Liam and cheers from Stan and Niall, Nick just laughed as Louis sprinted towards the bar to get them all shots.

“So the rules are as easy as it gets. Ask a question one by one and drink if it applies to you. Alrighty? Begin!” Harry announced.

“I’ll go first, I didn’t get lose my virginity until I was 17.” Harry said and say Stan and Louis downing a shot.

Stan grinned and shrugged his shoulder while Louis kept fiddling with his full shot, in reality he has lost his virginity only because he was 15 and he was trying to discover his sexuality and it had been a experiment for both of them to get to know what they like but it wasn’t necessary to share it with the table.

Stan was next, “I have never had a teacher hit on me.”  
They laughed when Liam, Niall and Nick dunked their shots. Zayn pinched Liam’s cheek and pulled him closer possessively.

“Hey, I never really tried on her okay. I was like the most sincere student or something and well.” Liam blushed and did not quite continue as Louis was at a high risk of toppling of his chair due to his laughter.

“My turn then, I have never tried ballroom dancing.” And that effectively put an end on Louis’ after as he took his with a sullen expression but then he grinned as he saw Harry take one too. Now it was Liam’s turn to laugh.

“I have never really had sex.” Niall proclaimed and it was met by a shocked silence and crickets could be heart trilling in the background. It was about 10 seconds after which all of the others picked up their shots and downed them.

Niall did not look sheepish at all, infact he looked obnoxiously proud that he got the question everyone had to drink to.

“Why Nialler?” Stan asked in shock, his expression clearly pitiful.

“I want to do it after I am married. Just something I really believe in.” he said as a matter of fact and all of them slow clapped for him in praise of his self control at least.

They went around one more time where Louis had to drink 2 more shots and he was decidedly lightheaded by then and he was sure so was Harry if you looked at his loopy smile. Zayn and Liam looked merely happy and bold with the way they drawing closer to each other and Zayn’s fingers were slipping further down Liam’s thighs.

“I think it’s me now?” Nick said on his turn.

“I have not kissed anyone sitting on this table.” And it was obvious that Zayn and Liam would have to take the shot but it was met was silence when Harry took his shot too.

He did not quite meet anyone’s eyes, signalling to Louis to take his turn but Louis did not move a muscle.  
Harry just drunk that shot, he had kissed someone on this table and he looked around to find that maybe possible some girl had joined them while he wasn’t looking but he saw all men, his friends sitting with him. Harry was gay was he? He had kissed a guy right? Louis would was spinning too fast for him and it was not only because of the drinks. He wanted out.

“Who?” Louis could manage only one word past his throat

Harry was positively squeamish now. “Um it was, it was.” He did not continue but his fearful eyes met with Zayn who gave him a reassuring smile.

“Well um, it was Zayn because I was um- going through a tough time getting to know myself and I wanted to know because I was into Zayn at the time.” His eyes flicked to Liam now full of apology but Liam just gently placed his hand on Harry’s shoulder nodding for him to continue.

“So like that helped… a lot and yeah. I basically know what I want now thanks to him.” He finished and Louis had dust motes floating in head, surely there must be something he could say.

“Oh.” Wow, wonderful Louis, wonderful.

“I knew it all along, god knows why it’s a shock Tommo.” Niall said as he stretched no sign of him being drunk.

Louis looked at Niall like he was seeing him for the first time in his entire life. “What?” he managed.

“Always eloquent our Lou.” Liam grinned and that broke the ice as all of them laughed.

Harry did not really meet anyone’s eyes but he was feeling less drunk all of a sudden. He looked at Louis once and he seemed lost in his own world, transfixed on a spot on the table and he sucked in a deep breath.

“Enough of you childish game peasants! I am off to shake my booty!” Niall exclaimed as he hopped off the table towards the dance floor and Stan joined him. Harry took this moment to take a loo break and get them another round of beer this time. When Harry came back to the bar he saw Nick already waiting with the drinks placed before him.

“Thought I’ll help you carry these.” Nick said and Harry smiled in gratitude.

He made to bring out his wallet but Nick held his hand and stopped him. “I paid Harry. It’s alright.” Nick said jovially.

“But no! I am giving this party! I should be paying!” Harry protested.

“Hey, you gave a loner like me a chance to have such a wonderful day to spend time with lovely people and you.” he added after a beat and Harry noticed that Nick ad not really left his hand and that he did not mind that at all.

Harry found himself drawing closer to Nick under the blue purple lights of the disco ball and the bass of Temperature playing though the loudspeakers. He felt his pulse quicken.

“Nick, he was an ass and I would never let you suffer because of that wanker.” Harry slurred a little with his words.

“You are cute when you swear, I swear you are cute.” Nick grinned and Harry found himself laughing at the wordplay and the next second he was kissing Nick and Nick had left his hand in favour of his face and held his chin gently while Harry moved his lips over Nick’s. They were not quite full and were slightly chapped but he knew how to kiss and Harry was feeling himself getting hot but just before any of them could deepen the kiss they heard a noise behind them and they broke apart panting to find Louis standing behind them looking deflated like a needle had got to him.

“Louis.” Harry whispered and suddenly acute terror was all that he felt, any arousal or warmth chased away. His spine was shooting chills down his body and he was sure he was going to throw up.

“Well now I guess you could take a shot too eh Nick? You kissed someone from the table too!” Louis looked positively livid as he turned to leave but Harry held his arm.

“Lou please listen to me.” Louis stopped and turned but his eyes looked hurt and broken. He shook his head sadly before leaving the club and into the pouring rain, he did not wish anyone goodbye. Niall came rushing from the dance floor having witnessed all of this and pulled Harry in a hug.

“Oh my God, Harry!” Harry was hyperventilating, he could not feel his fingers anymore and his legs were shaking too much. He felt Zayn pull him into a hug next.

“Harry, Hazza! Babe go after him. Talk to him. It’ll be fine. All of it. Please just go.” He looked up at Zayn with tears prickling his eyes and Zayn nodded with a smile pushing him towards the door.

Harry looked at Nick with a thousand apologies in his eyes, “Nick, Nick. I am a douche. Sorry. Please forgive me.” Nick barely smiled and wiped at the corner of Harry’s eyes and asked him to chase after his boy. Harry grinned at his friends and rushed out of the door.

Harry shielded his eyes with his hand in an effort to make out the road from the sidewalk and in a hope that he’d be able to find Louis but the Gods above don’t really make things too easy.

He took left with a wish that Louis’ had taken this too and he ran like his life depended on it. He found Louis with his hoodie on walking in the middle of a road and Harry turned to find truck roaring down the road behind him. The truck won’t be able to see Louis. Harry ran towards Louis screaming his name but Louis did not look back, Harry was probably going to tear a muscle this way but he simply kept running. He reached Louis and pulled him off the road just the truck whooshed past them and Harry slammed Louis on the wall, he himself pressed against Louis, shielding him his eyes tightly closed.

He opened his eyes a few seconds later and exhaled when he found both of them in one piece.

“LOUIS YOU FUCKING TOMLINSON! YOU WANT YOU DIE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!?” Harry screamed at the top of his voice. Louis was breathing raggedly, his eyes wide but he still looked at harry in defiance.

“Oh you care enough, Harry? Why snogging Nick was not satisfying enough for you?” Louis said.

Harry punched the wall in exasperation and ran his hand through this soaking hair.

“What do you want me to do Louis Tomlinson? Can I not have anything I want? Can I not for once be happy because things are playing out right? Am I not allowed to love someone? Tell me Louis, what should I fucking do?” Harry was angry, he was hurt and he was clearly too much in love with Louis already.

“You can just kiss me you know?” Louis said after a breath and Harry paused in his pacing to look at Louis.

“Are you drunk, Lou?” Harry asked still recovering from his shock. Louis was straight but he was asking Harry to kiss him. Kiss him on the lips too. Was he drunk and imagining all of this?

“Well only one way to find out.” Louis shrugged. His drunken mind was blocking each and every rebuttal from his sane mind and even though he knew he’ll regret this come morning and he’ll break his own and Harry’s heart he did not move when Harry pressed against him and kissed him deep and hard.

And suddenly, Louis did not feel the water touching him or the cool spreading into his bones as all that mattered was Harry pressing onto him, his hand holding his waist and pulling him in. his other hand holding his face and kissing so ferociously that it’ll bruise his lips but Louis did not care as he fisted his hands in Harry’s Y shirt and pulled him closer and closer and rubbed his crotch on Harry’s. Harry moaned into the kiss, deep and filthy. His rhythm becoming erratic. He bit on Louis’ bottom lip and Louis opened his mouth in a gasp.

“Harry.” Louis could barely think of anything but Harry’s fingers tugging at his hair and how his hand was cupping his arse, one cheek fitting perfectly into it and he squeezed it ever so gently and rubbed his erection against Louis just too perfectly that Louis threw his head back as he groaned.

“Louis, I have wanted to kiss in the rain so much. I wanted you so much.” Harry moaned pressing open mouthed kisses on Louis’ mouth who was rutting against Harry now, giving no heed to the fact that they were standing by a road from where someone may pass anytime now.

“My place, Harry. Not here.”

And it took them a minute to find a cab but they could not keep their hands off each other, it was animalistic and erotic what Louis felt with alcohol buzzing in his veins and the music from the club still booming in his head. Not only will he regret the night but he’ll also regret all of his drinking. But for the time being, he’ll live his life for once.

Louis kept thrusting into the air in tiny motions of his hips as Harry stripped him of his jeans and cold air licked at Louis’ hot skin. He hissed into the air as he felt Harry grab his thighs and position himself over Louis.

“I will suck you off, Lou. Suck you dry and proper.” Louis whimpered at the thought. All he had ever had in his life was his own hands and casual blowjobs from strangers in pubs. He never let any guy go further with him with a fear of any news reaching his mum or sisters.

“Take me in your mouth Haz.” Louis whispered as his hips rose in to the air and Harry pushed them down.  It’ll surely bruise by tomorrow.

Harry grinned as he licked his lips and Louis closed his eyes in favour of not seeing his own doom in front of his eyes. Harry firmly held the base of his cock with one hand while he kitten licked the tip of Louis’ cock.

“You are yummy, Lou.” Harry commented from between his thighs and Louis moaned, his hands reaching to touch himself.

“Uh-Uh. Keep your hands above your head.” Harry ordered and that is what Louis did.

Harry licked the base of his cock giving special attention to the thick vein and fondled his balls with his fingers. aHaHarry took just the tip in his mouth and sucked it like a candy and Louis breathing became abnormally hard. Harry did not gag once as he took whole of Louis inside his mouth, his mouth stretched obscenely and Louis almost came as he looked down at Harry and the stretch of his lips.

“Harry, Haz.” Louis stuttered and Harry gave his cock a pump and a twist and Louis screamed Harry’s name as he came. His eyelids had gone pure while with blotches of black and there was something crucial like breathing that he was definitely forgetting. His heart finally kick started when Harry kissed his lips, cum still fresh on his lips and Louis licked at it filthily. He just possibly had the best orgasm of his life and he wanted more of this, like an addict never quite satisfied.

But Harry kissed his deep and soft and laid beside Louis and tugged his briefs down to expose his long length and Louis gasped softly.

“Let me touch it, Haz.” Louis said as he wrapped his hands around Harry’s cock. In all his years of hiding from his own reality he had become quite good with his hands and id the short moans dropping from Harry’s lips were anything to go by, Harry did too.

Harry was thick in his tiny hands and his deft fingers over his shaft and rubbing the precome over his length and some few expert manoeuvres was all it took for Harry to arch off the bed riding his orgasm, cum squirting in Louis’ hand in thick streams.

“Louis.” His name falling from Harry’s name lips can quite possibly be the cause of death listed on his post-mortem report, Louis thought as Harry took Louis’ hand and licked it clean. Harry looked at Louis with such adoration and a feeling Louis did not want to know of and kissed Louis softly before pulling Louis into himself.

Both of them fell asleep boneless and satisfied and in each others’ arms.

Louis woke up early the next day, he was certain the truck had infact hit him last night if his headache was anything to go by, he had reached the infamous hell. His guts protested against him and his mouth wanted to rot and die and Louis did not feel any better himself.

His head swam and he suppressed an urge to puke when he noticed a heavy weight near him and last night came rushing back to him with the speed the truck had, maybe double that.

He gasped as he realised his fatal mistake and clapped a hand over his mouth. He was terrified and he was angry at himself for dropping his careful façade due to mere jealousy. He was stupid and he needed to make amends soon. He did the only thing he could think of, he got up in a hurry and tumbled over to his balcony, keeping down a wave of nausea and called Stan. Louis had a plan.    


	19. Promises and Miracles

Stan was never the one to ask too many questions and right now Louis felt glad of that, he might have thrown up if Stan had asked for what possible reasons Louis was sounding feverish and asking him to do such a ridiculous thing. Of course Stan would have guessed by now but that did not make it any easy on Louis. He was choking and gasping and the world seemed to be deteriorating in front of his very eyes. Sure it was Harry back in the bed, cosy under the duvet they both slept under last night but that did not change how scared he was, how potentially doomed the situation was.

“Please Stan, you need to do this for me. I will duly explain when the time comes but right now please just say yes!” Louis mumbled frantically, running a hand through his sleep mussed hair. He did feel the headache behind his eyes but probably the adrenaline was keeping it at bay for the moment.

“I will do it for you, Lou but no good will come out of it. Please don’t do this!” Stan tried one more time to knock some sense into the terrified lad but failed as Louis requested him even more vehemently.

In the end Stan agreed but a smidge grudgingly and Louis knew he owned him for life. The moment he clicked his phone shut he heard movement behind him and saw Harry emerge out of his room and his heart found his way into his mouth. Even though Harry was smiling like it was the best morning of his life, Louis was losing any semblance of self control and sanity.

“Good Morning, Lou!” Harry greeted as he made his way over to Louis but Louis felt his body react against it and took a hasty step back. Both Harry and Louis were surprised at this subconscious movement and Louis saw hurt flicker in Harry’s eyes who took a step back now to give Louis his space.

“You alright, Lou? You look like you have seen a ghost.” Harry said as he played with the frayed ends of the tablecloth.

“Hazza, there is something you need to know. I want you to not-” what could Louis even say? Not be upset? Like that would work, not be judgemental? That went so out of the window last night when he made out with Harry in his spur of jealousy. He was going to sound like a twat no matter what he said.

“Lou?” Harry asked as Louis had apparently stopped in his tracks.

“Hazza. I need to apologise.” Louis began and Harry sucked a deep breath, catching up on what was happening and what was going to happen but he was not anticipating what came next.

“I have been in a relationship with Stan for some time now and I didn’t tell anyone because I am not out yet to anybody and I was afraid of everything.” Louis spoke in a hurry and he saw Harry freeze and a glaze take over his eyes. Louis knew it was a lot to process for a guy who had spent the night cuddling up with him, blowing him to know that that he was infact in relationship with another guy. Harry’s mouth hung open slightly, partially due to the shock and then due to the pain in his head courtesy all those drinks. He was barely processing what was happening when Louis spoke again.

“Harry, I am a terrible person and I apologise. I crossed a boundary last night that I shouldn’t have. I never wanted to hurt you at all.” Louis whispered his voice cracking. Harry was rubbing his eyes with his fingers now, not looking at Louis, he was holding back on the tears that threatened to come but he took a long breath and steadied himself.

"Since when?" Harry questioned. His voice wasn't made only of hurt but was also coloured by exasperation and hopelessness. Louis felt himself shift to automatic now. There was no way to not break Harry's heart, the least he could do was not do it consciously.

"It was before you came, Harry." Louis knew how that sounded, like he wouldn’t have chosen Stan if Harry was around.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity Harry looked up to meet Louis' eyes and Louis felt his chest tighten again.

"It's awesome, Lou. I am glad for both of you." Harry tried his best at sounding genuine while Louis tried to not look as shocked as he felt. Never for one moment would he forgive himself for hurting Harry so much, leading him on and probably breaking his heart.

"Thank you, Harry." Louis hoped that also conveyed his apologies.

"Well now I must call Nick and apologise for running away like I did. One must behave with the boss." Harry winked at Louis but his heart was not into it and still Louis felt his pulse quicken again. Harry will be calling Nick right after he was with Louis, did it not matter to him quite that much? Louis wondered.

"Yeah you do that." Louis nodded and tried but failed at smiling.

Harry dressed in a hurry while Louis busied himself with some chores. Just before Harry left he stopped with his hand on the doorknob and looked up at Louis who was watching him with apprehension in his eyes.

Harry came back and placed a gentle on Louis' cheek and it took everything inside of Louis to not lean into the touch. Harry ran his thumb over Louis' bottom lip, just a ghost of a touch but a sob escaped Louis as his eyes fluttered close and a lone tear fell on Harry' hand and he looked at it thoughtfully and Louis saw a breaking heart, some forgotten promises and many unshed tears before Harry hastily stepping away from Louis and closed the door behind him without even looking back.

He barely made it to the end of the corridor before slumping down with his head between his knees. As soon as Harry had left with a tiny wave of his giant hand, Louis slumped against the kitchen counter and willed himself to stop shaking somehow; he has an evening shift today and no matter what his personal life crisis did not allow him to ditch his patients. Just when he had pushed himself off of his kitchen counter Liam entered the flat his eyes wide and fearful. He was breathing hard like he had run up all the way up and he looked at Louis with shock and sadness.

“Louis!” Liam exclaimed in his ragged breath and closed the door behind him as he moved towards Louis tentatively, a thousand questions in his head but none making to his lips.

“I saw Harry, he was-” Liam couldn’t continue because how does one describe a person who had his soul sucked out of him.

“It’s alright you know. I did something stupid last night and it’s sorted.” Louis hoped everything would be but he also dreaded that nothing will ever quite be alright in his life.

“Tell me.” Liam demanded and Louis finally looked up at Liam’s eyes.

One thing about Liam was that if he loved someone, and he usually did love most of the people he came across, Liam would love them with so much ferocity that it crosses the boundaries of things like how long he has known him or how much the other person has done for him.

And so was the case right now, if Liam gets to know he has intentionally hurt Harry, he will not consider for how long Louis has been his friend, and he’ll gut Louis for ever hurting someone intentionally.

“I might have been in a relationship with Stan all this while but I ended up with Harry in my bed last night but it was like a one time thing and I can’t really hurt Stan.” Louis understood how vile that sounded and just how awfully it sat on his tongue. He was projecting Harry as something akin of a mistake, a one night stand when someone exactly like Harry was everything Louis had wanted for himself when he had discovered what truly falling in love was.

He was losing his control again and his breathing had picked up again, he cannot break down right now but Liam pulled him into an engulfing hug and Louis had no choice over the matter.

“Oh Lou! You didn’t! Please tell me you did not lie to Harry! Oh my god what did you do?” Liam sighed as he rocked Louis who had by now forgotten all restraint and was bawling his eyes out, holding onto Liam like he was everything holding Louis upright, which was really the case.

“I hurt him, Liam. I lied to him to drive him away from me. I hurt him so that I couldn’t hurt him later and I hurt myself because I am afraid. I am so afraid Liam!” Louis sobbed into Liam’s shirt while Liam shushed Louis and let him use his shirt pocket as his napkin.

“Louis, maybe this was not meant to end badly. He really really likes you Louis. He was broken when I saw him. I hate to see you both like this.” Liam wanted to cry along with Louis, he had always been an empathetic person and this morning was turning out to be an overload on him.  


Louis finally sniffed and pulled himself away from Liam and wiped his nose hastily.

He smiled ruefully at Louis, “I am a masochist Liam. I live by pain. I probably have come to like it by now you know. It is a sick satisfaction.” Louis mumbled before turning away and making his way to his room leaving a very confused and upset Liam behind. He sat down on the sofa heavily and clutched his head in his hands. He was always proficient in woodcraft and he always loved to write stories with happy endings, where two people who loved each other and come together against all odds. There was a story unfolding in front of his eyes and he would like to have painful death before letting something as stupid as fear ruin it.

He called the one person who he felt the closest to beside Louis and who can have some actual role in taking care of what is happening.

“Zayn, has Harry made it home?” Liam asked pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Nope, why what happened babe?” Zayn asked his voice coloured by confusion.

Over the next minutes Liam recounted all that has happened and Zayn gasped at the appropriate places.

“Do take care of Harry, Zayn. You are all that he has got right now.” Liam said.

“He has you too, Liam. I know you love him.” Zayn replied.

“I do that. I will try to bring Lou around but if I can’t please don’t let Harry think too bad of Louis. He is just trying to protect himself.”

“I know, Li. I will talk to him when he comes. I will catch you later now.” Zayn whispered, clearly worn thin of this new revelation.

“Yeah, love you Zayn.” Liam said as he slumped against the sofa.

“I love you double that, love.” Liam smiled because he felt exactly what Zayn felt, when you see two people falling apart it just makes you that much desperate to keep you love closer.

Harry didn’t go home, instead he went to Jeremy. There was no explanation for this but he just did not want to face anyone at the moment.

He entered the room quietly and was assaulted by the sterile scent. When he saw Jeremy sleeping, he wanted nothing more than to run up to him and hug him but he stepped in softly and sat at the chair near him and gently ran his thumb over his cheek.

“You awake bud?” Harry whispered his voice near breaking. He felt Jeremy’s eyebrow twitch but the little boy did not move. Harry waited for about 5 seconds before raking his fingers through his own hair and then placing the hands near Jeremy’s left one. Jeremy remained motionless.

“You know I was with Louis last night. We had the most amazing time.” Harry stopped as a sob shook his body but he rubbed his nose on his sleeve before continuing.

“I was so happy you know, Jer. It was a like a beautiful dream come true if someone like Louis Tomlinson could like me. Maybe I was simply deluded.” Harry looked up at Jeremy if he was at all conscious and took another long breath.

“This morning you know, he said that he is in fact in love with Stan, do you know him? Or like is at least in a relationship with him and it broke me you know?” He chuckled ruefully.

“I really like Stan, he is a great lad but-” He stopped to take another ragged breath. “Now I am here with you like a coward you know and it is really hurting here.” Harry pointed to his chest as another tear rolled down his cheek to his lips.

“I am just stupidly in love with him, Jer and he’d never get to know.” Harry stayed and cried near Jeremy for a while before getting up and wiping his face at the sink and put on his dazzling smile and making his way out into the lobby to greet the nurses and the other doctors. After taking two deep breaths Jeremy opened his eyes and sat up to sit properly and his eyes were wet with unshed tears as he looked at the door Harry had just left through.

Harry was just finishing his rounds of his assigned patients when he came face to face with Nick and for the umpteenth time he pulled his grin back on and waved at Nick who looked at him a tad sadly.

“Can I have a word with you, Harry?” Nick said as he opened the door to his room.

Inside Harry sat on the seat offered to him and looked at Nick expectantly.

“Oh come on Harry. You can drop that fake smile now, you must be exhausted.” And something gave inside of Harry as he relaxed his cheeks and slumped on the chair and stared at his knees.

“I have a good or let’s say a bad theory about what happened yesterday.” Nick said observing Harry over the tips of his joined fingers.

Harry looked up in surprise and his mouth fell open in surprise.

“Nick?”

“Well yes, Harry. I know Louis enough to know what had transpired yesterday.” Nick said good naturedly and Harry kept gaping.

“You can’t possibly.” Harry exclaimed.

“Oh but I do, young Harry. I know about everyone under my roof.” Nick smiled a little but there was no pride in his voice jut calm assurance.

“And that is the reason why I want to offer a free advice you probably don’t even want.” Nick winked.

“Uh, yes?” Harry sputtered.

“Well, the key to a reluctant heart is not food, not drinks and certainly not a sappy poem but it is jealousy.” Nick said sagely and Harry simply raised an eyebrow.

Nick laughed before continuing.

“Someday, Louis Tomlinson will be yours because of your love, devotion and admiration but that day is not today and not for certain days to come. But Louis Tomlinson will be yours because he wants you in his life, because you are what he needs and most of all because you will be slipping away from him gradually.”  
  
“What?” Harry felt lost in Nick’s words.

“Oh, mon petit cher! We have to make a certain Mr. Tomlinson very very jealous and I am sure he’ll rediscover all his reasons to love you.” There was a gleam in Nick’s eyes that Harry didn’t quite understand.

“Rediscov-” Harry started but was immediately cut off by an enthusiastic Nick.

“Under my tutelage, Harry. You shall rise and acquire uncharted territories and claim the heart of you one true love. You my protégé, shall never surrender!” Nick proclaimed which made Harry gape even further.

“Are you still drunk from last night, Nick?” Harry asked politely and Nick laughed.

“Harry, think about it please what made Louis al territorial last night at the bar? What triggered it?” Nick said and Harry’s eyes widened.

“The kiss!” Harry exclaimed.

“Precisely and that is one weapon I have come to know against him.”

Harry was shaking his head even before Nick had finished speaking.

“I will never manipulate him Nick! It’s not I want!” Harry argued.

“Jealousy isn’t manufactured out of thin air, lad. If he indeed doesn’t have any feelings towards you, your intimacy with someone else shall not be of consequence to him don’t you think?”

Harry pondered on this for a moment before nodding reluctantly and Nick’s eyes softened.

“Harry, I am not asking you to trick him into doing something just making his realise what he has and what he is going to lose if he doesn’t claim you for himself.”

“But he has Stan! I can’t take him away from Stan. Nick!” and it was Nick’s turn to be surprised.

“Elaborate lad that Louis. Never mind though. The objective still stands tall though doesn’t it? If he is indeed happy there will be no damage done.” Nick countered effectively.

Harry nodded and looked at Nick “Are you sure of this?”

“A million and thirty nine percent.” Nick stated confidently and apparently this was a good enough percentage to put a smile on Harry’s face.    

Zayn pulled Harry into a massive hug as soon as he had stepped inside his apartment. “Hazza! How are you? Where were you? Do you know just how worried I was you wanker!” Zayn near shouted.

“Ouch Z! I am fine, see!” Harry did a twirl in front of Zayn who simply rolled his eyes.

“Tell me everything!” Zayn demanded and the rest of the day was spent in his recounting the whole story from the bar to Louis’ place and finally his chat with Nick which had Zayn frowning slightly.

“Seems like a shoddy plan to me.” Zayn states and Harry’s face loses it’s smile.

“You doubt this plan?” Harry enquires.

“No not really. It is a great plan but who will you execute this with?” Zayn asks, rubbing his stubble.

“Nick only right? Because he was the one I was kissing before the whole episode happened.” Harry said pulling at the frayed end of the sofa cover.

Zayn only nodded taking another sip from the glass apple juice he was drinking.

“Z, do you think Stan is really his boyfriend?” Harry asked is voice soaked with his anxiety.

Zayn looked at Harry seriously, torn between wanting to lie so as to not give Harry too much hope but then Zayn had never kept anything from Haz=rry ever. “Remember the conversation we had way back when all the lads were home?” Zayn said.

Harry nodded his eyes wide with expectation.

“Do you remember what he said right after Niall expressed his doubts regarding proposing to Amy?” Zayn asked and Harry just held his breath in wait.

“He said quote I have some experience with girls blah blah blah dot dot dot unquote.” Zayn said his eyes wide and made a gesture which said ‘you get it?’

The thing is Harry did but he really wanted someone else to say it for him.

Zayn understood, “I don’t think he has any experience with guys and all the time I’v known him heard about him from you. I see no gayness.”

Harry’s smile was binding and he felt like it has been ages he had smiled so big, “Okay then, Nick’s plan night work!” Harry said a little excitedly.”

“Alright, I am with you Hazza. But promise me one thing. This New Year will be a new beginning for you, preferably with Louis or with him completely out of it. Deal?” Zayn extended his hand for Harry to shake and Harry took it grudgingly. “Alright then, one last try for my love.”

“Cheers to that mate!” Zayn said as he mimicked holding a class and clinking it with Harry’s equally imaginary one.

Niall ambling past Jeremy’s room when he felt the urge to go and talk to the lad, he had really come to love him in this short time. He opened the door and found Jeremy staring into the space looking mildly scared and the first though in Niall’s mind was that he is in pain or the chemo was cross-reacting in some way.

“You alright tiger? Does it hurt?” Niall asked concerned but Jeremy shook his head as he smiled gently and Niall could easily see that Jeremy was rapidly losing weight and that the dark shadows under his eyes were getting deeper by the day, he knew Louis had scheduled another round of tests and he felt anxious for the reports to come in.

“Then what’s up buddy? You look like you have seen a ghost!” Niall tried

“Are you Stan’s friend, Niall?” Jeremy asked. Jeremy had met Stan plenty times when he had come looking after Louis but he had never felt quite that close to him as he had always felt with Harry and Niall soon after meeting.

“He is a mate of mine, yeah.” Niall said and paused for the little boy to continue.

“Can you please ask him to let Louis be with Harry. I know he must love Louis but Harry loves Louis and I love them both you know?” Jeremy said earnestly and Niall felt his jaw fall open. It was indeed a lot of information coming to him from Jeremy also very confusing one.

“What? Where did all this come from?” Niall questioned.

“Harry was here you know, he was crying. He said he loves Louis but last night Louis said he is with Stan and Harry was breaking. He said he was defuded to believe in his love.” Jeremy said slipping over the foreign word.

“Deluded.” Niall whispered as he sat back leaning on the back of his chair, his eyes staring off into the space. Louis had done this to shirk Harry but they had been so happy to find both the boys missing last night that they toasted to new love and bridged distances. Did Stan know of this?

Niall finally looked up at Jeremy, “You are hundred percent sure, Jer?”

By this time all the stress and the talking had brought back Jeremy’s headache and he was rendered incapable of further communication so he got up and helped Jeremy lay down on the bed gently and called on the nurse to administer the required medication.

He had no clue what was happening he swore to himself that he’d get to the bottom of it.

Niall entered the common staff room to find Stan pouring over a sports magazine and sat down in front of him without an preamble.

“Hey, mate!” Stan smiled.

“Stanny, you and I havn’t been friends long but I am nothing if not blessed with acute power of observation.” Niall stated simply munching on the chips kept beside the magazine.

“Stan looked nothing short of half amused and half shocked out of his pants.”

“What are you even talking about Nialler?” Stan questioned not quite meeting his eye.

“I know what you have agreed to do, Louis told me.” Niall bluffed fearlessly.

Stan instantaneously sagged in his seat, “Thank God somebody else knows! I am going crazy! He calls up right in the morning and goes hello can you please lie that you are my boyfriend and then doesn’t even give me the reason! I mean come on Tommo! What could possibly be so bad that he is lying?” While Stan had his rant Niall continued to stare at him and munch more chips. His bluff worked like magic.

“The reason he is lying is that he loves Harry, Stan.” Niall said as he placed both his elbows on the table and rested his chin on his intertwined fingers.

“What!?” Stan exclaimed flipping the magazine shut. “Then what the fuck is he doing?” he exclaimed.

“The thing is, what I believe is he wants to drive Harry away from himself some reason hitherto unknown to us lowly peasants but I am hoping the brave man Liam would know something.” Niall said finishing off the crisps and standing with a flourish.

“Stanny, I know you are supposed to play along with Lou about this whole relationship but try and not do it in a way that might hurt Haz. Yeah?” Niall said his tone soft.

“Yeah, man, obviously.” Stan looked scared for his sake and concerned for Harry’s and Niall knew for sure that Louis had lied and he can work on some ‘Save the dream couple’ project of his own.

Niall calls Liam just when the hospital calls Louis in for an emergency. Louis is rushing about in his state of half undress and hence doesn’t pay attention that Liam is talking animatedly about how worried he is for both the lads and how he wants to do _something_ to make things better. Liam only feels better when Niall assures him that he’d take care of both of them in the hospital.

Louis rushes in into the hospital to find Mrs. Eriksen crying on the bench outside Jeremy’s room. Her eyes are rimmed red and she is being hugged by her breaking husband. He has been informed about the issue at hand and hence he rushed in to find Harry tweaking the knobs on the IV and preparing some medicine concentrations to give to the little boy now looking falling apart. Louis looks at Jeremy helplessly and imagines him to be something like his very life, he was happy healthy but then never quite and that very seed of death is now taking him apart just like Louis and his secret. He stands there lost in his thoughts when Harry gently hits him with his shoulder and gives a watery smile. Harry seemed to be okay now. Louis’ breathing eased a little.

“Was it bad this time?” Louis asked in a whisper.

Harry took a large breath before replying, “He was screaming by the time I came and when his mum tried to hug to make him feel better he didn’t even recognise her. He stopped only when I had come over and god bless that he recalled a little of me, enough to calm down a little. It is getting worse now.” Harry sniffled and Louis wanted to pull him in and hug him and card his fingers in Harry’s messy curls but he knew better than that. He knew better than to give himself such short spells of happiness to be snatched away later.

“I will keep a watch on him now Hazza. You can go home if you want.” Louis said his eyes flitting between Harry’s.

Harry smiled and patted Louis’ shoulder, “I will leave with Nick later. I will stay awhile.”

“Nick?” Louis was shocked and the thing curling in his stomach made him want to throw up.

“Yeah, he asked me if I wanted to hang out later and I said why not you know.” Harry waited patiently for any reaction but Louis has been a child prodigy in theatre and didn’t even blink once before smiling and making his way towards the staff room.

“Hey Lou?” Harry called in desperation.

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay?” Harry asked his heart beating against his chest, losing breathing space.

“Absolutely wonderful, Haz.” And Louis disappeared around the bend and Harry felt his eyelids and heart drop.

Before anyone knows much two weeks has passed. They are midway to December and Harry is confused as to whether the cold is really this strong or it’s just because his heart is losing its will to pump more blood.

Louis goes about his work like he always did and Harry still smiles at everyone and twerked for Alice once to receive a round of applause from the on lookers.

Louis doesn’t PDA as he says it is against work ethics and any dates Stan and him have are not privy to the boys. Niall looks on sadly but he doesn’t say a word. He feels torn but he knows he is not as torn as either of the boys so he relents.

Harry hands out with Nick all the time now, platonic of course but they still do a better deal of holding hands and chaste kisses in the hallways when Louis is studiously ignoring Harry and Harry always heads over to the washroom to rub his face more than usual when washing it.

It’s 15th December and Louis’ birthday is on approach. At this moment it isn’t Christmas Eve for Harry because Louis spells his very personal miracle. It isn’t Christmas for the Eriksens as Jeremy’s condition is precarious and many people have lost hope but Harry and Louis hold on like the last dregs of their heart depends on this. Neither of them make a move, neither of them really lives anymore.

Zayn and Liam are falling more in love and getting more worried, the snow falls and paints everything white but the couple just wants to paint it in vibrant colours to make their friends even tad bit happy.

All shred of hope are dwindling when Nick sweeps with one of his legendary saves.

“Lads and love!” Nick greets as he sweeps his hands wide and pinched Harry’s bum on the last word. Harry giggles because let’s face it. He really does like Nick, he just happens to love a much shorter and curvier boy.

Nick had asked Louis, Stan, Harry and Niall to assemble in the meeting room.

“What’s the good news, sir?” Louis asked a little acidly, trying not to glare at the giggling Harry.

“I pulled a lot of strings and I have managed to get hold of Dr. Fredrick, a leading surgeon in the country and he has agreed to perform a delicate surgery on the lovely Jeremy and if it is successful then he’ll be completely cured of his problem!” Nick announced and the boys cheered and clapped but Louis crossed his arms, a motion followed by Nick, who looked marginally amused now.

“What will be the repercussions, Nick?” Louis asked seriously and the noise quieted down.

“Louis, Jeremy will be lost to us if we do nothing about his tumour but if this surgery was to go wrong-” Nick took a long breath as he looked around at the sad faces. “He’ll be lost to us sooner than later.”

Harry realised the weight of this announcement and what it meant for Jeremy and his parents.

It was Louis who decided to talk to his parents while Harry went in to talk to Jeremy.

Harry felt like he was losing his already but he couldn’t let Jeremy know that. He was not only his first patient but also a lifeline to hope for a better future and it broke Harry’s heart that he was probably losing him.

“Jer?” Harry asked as he saw Jeremy poring over a superhero comic.

Jeremy looked up and smiled tiredly but his eyes still held some of the old glow and it was enough to bring a genuine smile on Harry’s face.

“What you reading?” Harry asked as he sat down beside him.

“X-Men!” Jeremy announced excitedly. They are awesome no?” Jeremy said and Harry laughed.

“I love them! I used to think I am one of because I used to bake some mean muffins and mum told me it has to be a superpower.” Jeremy laughed at that and Harry felt a little better about this procedure. If it could save Jeremy’s laughter for life, then he’d give his all to this.

It was decided that the surgery would be held on Christmas Eve and continued till Christmas because it was the only time Dr. Fredrick was free and Nick had called in a lot of favours for him to give up his holiday as he was full packed on the other days.

It was no question that the lads promptly agreed to give up on their Christmas plans but Harry didn’t give up on Louis’ birthday.

After Jeremy has placed a request, Harry bakes muffins for all and they sit on their usual table in the cafeteria. Louis’ and Harry’s meet and they know what they are thinking about, last time Harry had brought them muffins, the things have been much different between them. Maybe both of them wanted to go back to that time and get rid of the constant pain.

It’d be a lie to say that Harry had forgotten the one night he had gotten with Louis. His schedule left no space for one night stands and not that Harry would have indulged anyways but at the rare nights when wrapped his hand around his cock and loosely pumped it to make it last, he thought of blue eyes and sharp canines and imagined them digging into his thigh and claiming him and it was embarrassingly fast how he came on such though, he might have shed a tear or two after such occurrences but a breaking heart justified such emotions, didn’t it?

Liam had tried and failed to knock some sense into Louis but he was disappointed when Louis shrugged him off. Liam knew him well enough to see the lurking fear of his future and the crippling pain in Louis wet eyes but he never pushed him too hard, he didn’t want to turn Louis against himself when he was the only person Louis had to depend on.

Zayn on his part encouraged and supported Harry on his plan but always reminded him of their deal and Harry would always smile sadly and nod his agreement. Harry has always been a hopeful child but he had never hoped for something where his sanity and love was at stake. He smiled and laughed but Zayn noticed how his dimples never went too deep or how his light green eyes more prominent now in contrast to his dark circles.

One week before the surgery Jeremy has a guest waiting for him and Louis is sitting with his trying to convince him to meet her.

“But no Louis!! I don’t have my hair anymore!” Jeremy wailed.

“But you are Omi, Jer! She’ll love it!” Louis said with humour in his voice.

“See even you are laughing at me now!” Jeremy pouted and Louis full out laughed.

“I just find it’s cute, you crush on her.” Louis winked at him and he blushed a little, colour flooding on his excessively pale face.

“I certainly don’t.”

“Well, then you can meet her easily right? No issues!” Louis bit his lip trying to prevent his laughter bubbling through; he found it so sweet Jeremy’s reaction.

“Yeah okay.” Jeremy said with resignation, a little anxious.

On Louis’ signal Harry came inside holding Darcy’s hand and Louis felt a deluge of fond break through. The pretty girl looked even prettier today and the way she smiled at Jeremy made him want to coo at them loudly which Harry did just moments later.

“Awwwww! Look at the two of you! I am choking with love here!” Harry said fanning himself with his hand and Louis laughed as both of the children blushed prettily.

“Hello, Jer.” Darcy said sweetly as she went to stand near Jeremy who seemed to have found a reason to shine today.

“I am great, how are you?” and it is then Louis found that he had subconsciously clasped his hands and had tilted his chin on them, looking like a lovesick onlooker.

“Well, Harold! Let’s leave the lady and the lad together and let them talk!” Louis was out of the room first talking about tears, handkerchief and too much love in the room but Harry lingered a little longer, wishing he had what these two had and hoping that nothing happens to break them apart.

By the time Harry had stepped out of his room, Louis had disappeared but he found Niall at the reception, looking at a file and he remembered something which made him realise how bad of a friend he has been lately.

He stepped towards Niall and hooked his arms around him to place his chin on his shoulder.

“Niallerrrrrrrr?” Harry asked in a sing song and Niall laughed out loud.

“If sex is what you want Styles then you gotta wait till my shift is over.” Niall said and Harry made a face.

“I am here out of the purity of my heart Nialler. I am appalled you even considered otherwise.” Harry said and both of them dissolved into laughter again. Both of them made their way inside the common staff room as both Louis and Stan were busy overlooking one of the old cases and they made coffees for themselves before settling down on the table.

“So other than my body, what do you want, Haz?” Niall said as he took a sip of his coffee and Harry snorted in his coffee and dissolved into coughing and laughter.

“Just want to know, what’s happening in your life, mate. I have been neglecting my friendship duties for a while now.” Harry said.

“I am great Harry, nothing to complain about in life.” Niall said.

“Amy is great?” Harry said asking about Niall’s girlfriend and Niall’s slight blush and wild grin was answer enough for Harry.

“She is probably the one you know? I know we have been together little time now but hey! When it is right, it is right!” Niall said looking into his coffee cup.

“Look at you all red and flustered! Oh my god, Amy has you whipped doesn’t she?” Harry grinned.

“Heyyyyy!!” Niall argued but Harry’s grin just grew impossibly wider.

“You love her, Niall. I can’t say how happy I am for you both.” Harry said exuberantly. He loves to live vicariously and today has been a day of affection. He feels marginally happy.

“How are you Haz?” Niall asked and he tries to keep his concern out of his voice but Harry hears it anyways.

“I am not bad Niall.” Harry knows he is pathetic at lying and so he has given up on it a long time ago.

Niall simply hums and sips more of his coffee.

After that they talk about and everything and nothing and Harry knows that even if his love may be failing, his friends will forever be there to catch him.

On 20th December Louis received a call from Jay to know about his birthday plans and Louis informed her of how he won’t be able to celebrate that day.

“I am really sorry mum. I know you wanted this one to be a family get together and such but Dr. Fredrick can only perform the surgery that day and I need to be there.” Louis said.

“It is okay my BooBear, work and human life comes before any kind of celebration. I am proud of what you are doing.” Jay said and usually Louis felt really happy hearing these words but today he felt like a weight has been dropped in to his stomach. He wondered whether he’d still get to hear these words said to him if he came out to his mum. He felt guilty for doubting his mother’s love but he was scared to lose the only parent he had left.

“Thank you so much, mum.”

Harry and Louis didn’t text too much now. Usually Harry’s inbox used to be filled with witty comebacks about his poor jokes and he’d go through them over and over to imagine them in Louis’ tone and laugh when alone. He felt a little odd texting Louis after so many days but officially they were still buddies right? Buddies text each other, don’t they?

**_To Lou_ **

**_How r u? Am I disturbing?_ **

**_8:09 p.m._ **

****

**_He got a response after a 5 minute delay._ **

**_From Lou_ **

**_I am great Haz, hw r u? enjoying d off day?  
8:14 p.m._ **

Harry winced as Louis’ text was devoid of an Xs which used to pepper his texts. He took a long breath and chose to ignore it.

**_To Lou_ **

**_Any birthday boy big plans? ;)  
8:15 p.m._ **

**_From Lou_ **

**_Surgery day! No chance right? Mum called 2. D:  
8:16 p.m._ **

Harry stared fondly at the one emoji Louis had used because Harry was just that pathetic when it came to Louis.

**_To Lou_ **

**_I am sure I can ask Nick to give you the morning off.  
8:17 p.m._ **

And as soon as Harry had sent the message he realised that bringing Nick into the conversation had not been a wise move for the sake of this chat but maybe good for the plan they had cooked.

**_From Lou_ **

**_No need to call special favours, Haz. It’s quite alright._ ** **_J_ ** **_  
8:19 p.m._ **

Harry could visualise Louis putting and deleting the smiley, irritated at Harry for mentioning and then putting it so as to not sound rude.

Harry reflexively raised his hand to mess up his hair and sweep it to the right, it was a nervous habit one that Louis had once said he found cute.

**_To Lou_ **

**_Okie. Good Night BooBear :P  
8:20 p.m._ **

Harry thought maybe him being cheeky will lighten the matter a little but the text he got in return told him that Louis will not be forgiving about his one slip.

**_From Lou_ **

**_Good Night.  
8:21 p.m.     _ **

Harry knew that he was pushing his luck and lately the jumpy mood Louis had been in he was probably risking the last dregs of friendship they have between them. And yet after 2 hours of inner turmoil he found himself calling Liam Payne who picked up after 2 rings.

“Hello Harry” Liam greeted.

“Hello Mr. Malik!” Harry greeted with a cheer and he laughed because he knew Liam must be blushing to his roots. Harry loved this about Liam, he was always sweet and caring and he has never seen him lose his cool over anything.

“Oh hush, Haz! Quit teasing me!” Liam whined and Harry laughed some more.

“Hey Li, do you have any plan for Lou’s birthday?” Harry asked sitting up straighter on his sofa.

Liam faltered a bit, “Nope. Doctor Sir told me that he is busy whole of Christmas Eve and he can’t be of any service to me.” Liam said.

“Well, um-” Harry realised that maybe he hadn’t thought this through. What if Liam gets worked up about his idea?  
“Can I get Jay’s number? I am planning a surprise.” Harry continued anyways.

Liam fell silent for sometime before replying and Harry was glad he sounded happy.

“Great one bud! I will forward it to you! Involve me in it too okay! But aren’t you guys supposed to be in surgery that day?” Liam asked.

“Yeah but I talked to Nick and he gave us the morning off as it’s be used for preparation and stuff. I want to use that time you know?” Harry said holding his bottom lip between his index finger and thumb.

“Wicked! I help you any way you need alright? Just let me know!” Liam said enthusiastically and Harry felt something bubble inside him. Something to be really happy about in so many days.

Harry felt at ease calling Jay because he had talked to her a lot of time on Skype and she instantly agreed to come over on the morning of 24th to surprise Louis.

“Do you want me to get anything, love?” Jay asked, her voice clearly showing her affection for Harry.

“Nope, I will take care of everything, just be safe on the drive over and tell the girls to jump on him as soon as they see him.”

Harry had talked to all of them at some point or the other before Louis would shoo them away fondly for hogging the entire screen. Harry knew Louis loved them more than his own life and that made this surprise many times better.

Harry informs everyone of the plan and everyone automatically agrees to participate, the only hitches were Stan, when Harry hesitated because he was the boyfriend and probably he had made plans but Stan hugged Harry and promised to be as much of a help as he can. The next was Nick, he was busy the day with Dr. Fredrick and also he wanted to give the jealousy thing a break as the birthday boy didn’t deserve that.

Harry had nodded in agreement and sent a silent blessing to the Gods to bless his noble cause. If there was a court in the heaven where he could plea for it, he’d put forth the times he had refrained from going out naked into the streets and all the times he had given out free muffins to stay cats. He was a very noble man, Harry.

On 23rd, Harry had asked for evening off and Louis eyed him doubtfully as Harry never takes off when Louis is working. Nick obviously smiles and tells him to take the evening off but be at the hospital sharp at noon. Harry kisses him on the cheek and makes a hasty get away but not before he sees Louis’ knuckles turn white due to his pressure on the clipboard.

He wakes red velvet cake big enough for everyone to have a fair share. He also made muffins and cookies for the girls and Niall. Niall had _demanded_ muffins and cookies. When he flopped down on his bed at midnight, fully dressed and with floor in his hair and on his black t shirt, he had a satisfied smile on his face. Louis and him might not be at a great place at the moment but his eye-crinkling smile would be right where Harry needs it on Christmas.  
On Christmas Eve morning Harry woke up at record time, reaching over the bed stand he saw it was still 5 in the morning and even the Sun had not decided to wake up today. Usually he’d had groaned and went back to sleep but today he felt a huge grin claim his lips and his feet automatically planted themselves on the carpet to raise his body. It was actually hard to keep in a whoop of cheer as he didn’t quite fancy his neighbours to come and check up on him.. again. He finished the final touches on the cake and dusted the muffins and called Liam at 6 to prepare the place for all the lads. By 7 he was fully dressed and raring to go but as there was no actual place to go to he decided to give wake up calls to all the boys and bribed Niall extensively to actually make it to Louis’ place by 8.  
  
He was to pick Jay at around 7:30 and go directly to Louis’ place with her and so finding time in his hands and no work instead he went into Zayn’s room and flopped over him, making Zayn go ‘oof!’.  
  
“Harry you big foot!” Zayn didn’t ask about the quality of his ‘good morning’ already used to Harry’s methods of killing time.

“It’s Lou’s birthday, Zaynie-man! It’s his happy 22nd!” Harry chirped in Zayn’s ears and Zayn cringed at the sudden and loud noise.

“Not my love of the life, wanker! Gerroff me!” Zayn rolled on his side so that Harry lost his balance and fell of the bed and landed on his ass.

“Zaaaaaaayn! Not my booty please! I love it okay?” Harry whined and Zayn snickered and Harry followed suit and it was not long before both of them had dissolved into laughter joking about their respective booty calls.  
  
When Harry saw Jay coming out of the airport terminal it was not hard for him to recognise her, granted he had seen her over the shabby pixels of Skype and he had appreciated how Louis seemed like a variant of his mother but right now he could fully appreciate the radiance in her smile and the kindness of her eyes, Jay Tomlinson was the kindest person you can find and also the worst if you should mess with her.   


Harry has never been nervous about meeting anyone’s parents but this is Louis’ mother. Spare him if he was debating over a polite handshake or an enveloping hug.

Thankfully Harry saved of his dilemma when Jay pulled him into a hug as soon as he saw him and Harry had never felt so much love from any woman other than his mother. He buried his face in her neck and Jay laughed and Harry couldn’t stop a fond smile to creep to his lips as her laugh was very much like Louis’ and Harry was a sucker for it.   
  
Next Harry laughs as the twins lunge at him for their hugs and Lottie and Charlotte give him kisses on the cheek. All of them loved Harry’s curls and dimples and it was impossible not to love him for his smile.

As Harry puts Jay’s luggage in the boot and opens the door for her, he finds that Jay is smiling to himself and even though Harry wonders but he doesn’t ask any question.   
They talk a lot over the half hour drive.

“How have you been, Harry? Haven’t skyped with you in a while.” Jay asks.

Harry is stunned momentarily, how to explain the situation between him and Louis now but is saved when Lottie interrupts.

“They are all doctors mum. They don’t have the time to talk to the people who come in above 30 age limit.”

“Are you calling me old, young lady?” Jay asks craning her neck to take a look at Lottie who laughs and kisses her mum on the forehead and Jay laughs.

The girls question him about anything and everything, straight from his favourite Disney princess from the twins (Jasmine hands down!) to whether he has worn any briefs today, which gets ‘Lottie! I am right here!’ from Jay.  


In this short time Harry can very well imagine himself a part of this family but just as soon as this realisation hits him he feels his smile drop and he is thankful he is wearing his sunglasses because he is sure his eyes betray his emotions.  
  
“Are you okay son?” Jay asks as she ruffles his hair and Harry just wants to break down and cry, how can he tell her that he is desperately in love with his son who is also the reason of his heartache?

So having no real option he just nods and smiles.

Harry con calls Niall, Zayn, Stan and Liam from Louis’ apartment and waits for all of them to meet.

He hushes all of the girls quite and has to slap Niall to stop for breaking into loud cheers and he knocks.

He is quite aware that he is chewing his bottom lip raw but he can’t help but be anxious, it is cold enough to freeze his balls off but he is still sweaty around his neck.

Louis takes his time opening the door but Harry easily caught the soft paddling of him from his bedroom to his and mutterings about Liam being a lazy ass to not open the door.

The lock clicks and Louis is rubbing his eye with his fist and looking bleary but as he looks at the huge gathering outside of his door, he freezes and his jaw falls open.

It’s easy to see that Louis had forgotten about his birthday amidst all the pressure from the hospital and his personal life but when he saw everyone standing at his door holding what seems like a tonne weight red velvet cake, his family and best friends it all come rushing to him and knocking away his breath.  
  
It’s a good 5 seconds before he can even take a proper breath but when he does, his chest finally expands and he gets enough blood to his brain to start functioning.

“Oh my god!!” he screams as he flings himself on his mum, he hugs her like no tomorrow and even lifts her off the ground a little.

“Happy Birthday my little Boo! I love you!” Jay says.

“I love you mum, love you so much.”  
  
He goes around and hugs all of the girls and all of the lads and comes to Harry at the end.

“Hazza.” He could barely just bear the surprise that has been thrown his way but Harry with his soft smile and his cake made it impossible for him, so he pulled him into a hug too and nobody could blame Louis for lingering a little too long and memorising the scent of lemon and cherry.  
Niall immediately takes over the DJ duties and Liam and Zayn set about to decorating the place as Louis sat down with his family to talk to them.  
This left Harry and Stan in charge breakfast, and Harry would have loved to be alone and not with Stan at the moment but Stan decided not to intrude into family time. Harry had nothing really over Stan but how could he be a 100% okay with Louis’ boyfriend?

“Hey Stan, what should I make for Lou? What’s his fav breakfast option?” Harry asks while opening the cupboards to check whether Louis is well stocked enough to cook for all of them.

“Um, bacon?” Stan half questioned and Harry blinked at him in surprise but did not comment. A good boyfriend he is for not knowing about Louis’ favourite breakfast. He made English toast and omelette and strong tea to go with it.

Louis saw Harry puttering around in his kitchen and found himself focusing on Harry alone, somehow he looked a little older now, his hair has lost his curls but are pushed back from his forehead, he looks a little taller too and his cheeks have lost the last of his baby fat and his cheekbones are sharp and delicious. His arms have a splatter of new tattoos and the flex of his biceps show he has been working out. The one thing which hasn’t changed at all is his smile and his crystal green eyes, currently they are full of love as his older self comes from the bedroom and hugs Harry from behind. Harry picks his hand and kisses it before taking a half circle and placing his hand on Louis’ slim waist. He chews his lips as he looks at Louis face like he is seeing it for the first time and Louis blushes under his gaze and Harry swoops in to capture his lips.

“Good Morning, love.” Harry whispers.  
“Good Morning, husband” Louis says.   
  
He is shaken from his daydream by Jay as he gently places a hand on his shoulder.

“Boo, did you listen to even a word I said?” Jay was looking at Harry though and Louis realised he had zoned out while staring at Harry.

“Yeah mum! Are you calling me a bad son on my own birthday?” Louis sounded affronted.

Just then Harry’s phone rang loudly and he smiled before picking it up, Louis scrunched his eyes, Harry does a lot of things before picking a call including waiting for the whole special ringtone to play to laughing at the unique name he must have put for the person but he never really smiles all fond and that is how Louis would have realised if not Harry confirming his suspicions a moment later.

“Nick! Hello babe!” Harry chirped before leaving through the door to talk to him in private.

He could have talked in front of everyone, no one would have minded, they were all people in relationships for Chrissake. Louis scoffs to himself and Jay raises an eyebrow at that. Louis avoids any questions from her by getting up from the couch and taking the girls to the nearby store and treat them to chocolates.  
  
Jay gets up after Louis leaves and places a hand on Liam’s shoulder. Liam has been with Liam since his childhood and nobody knew her son better than him.

“Liam? Got time for your old auntie?” Jay asks as Liam envelopes her in a hug.

“I am so sorry, been all over the place and as you can see your son makes it tough keeping the place clean.” Liam says with a sigh.

“Liam, is he alright?” Jay asks slowly and Liam freezes. Even he had seen Louis’ reaction towards Harry today, it’s obvious Jay would have too.

“Yeah. He is fine.” Liam stutters and Jay cocks a perfect eyebrow.

“He might be my genetic son, Liam but don’t forget I have had a part in your upbringing too. Tell me.” Jay says sternly and Liam can’t help but smile a little as he slipped down the memory lane but it was short stayed as he realised that he’d have to be answering a lot tonight.

Liam had expected some show of surprise from Jay but he was flabbergasted when she neatly folded back the letter and placed it back on the desk like nothing new had been brought to light. The only indication that she had infact read any part of the letter was the small sigh that escaped his lips and the clear sheen on her eyes.

“How long have you known, Liam?” Jay asked in a low voice.

“Not long really. He didn’t want me to know.” Liam said his eyes low; he was fiddling his fingers nervously.

“She hugged Liam close and carded his hair with her fingers,”It’ll be fine Liam. I’ll talk to him. I will not disappoint him.” Jay promises.   
  
Jay calls Louis as asks him to send the girls home and meet her in the park adjacent to the building.

Louis had managed to forget about all his issues in the time he spent with the girls and so he felt considerably happy when he ran over to his mum and pulled her into a tight hug.

“Oh mum! I am so happy today! It’s the best birthday I could have hoped for!” Louis laughs and Jay laughs alongside.

The grass was crispy under their feet as they walked alongside, Louis had to leave for the surgery in about an hour and he wanted to soak in his mother’s presence until then. The added bonus of the gray sky and the soft breeze made him even happier.

“I love you mum. Thank you for coming.” Louis said.

“I would miss this chance for the world Lou, seeing you with your lover!” Jay winked at him.

Louis stopped in his track and gaped at Jay. “Harry’s not my lover mum!” Louis protested, shocked to his bone.

“I was talking about Stan though. I had a talk with Liam about the latest developments but interesting that you should think about Harry.” Jay observed and Louis felt eyes widen. His throat felt parched and his heart was somersaulting in his chest.

He had fallen for one of the finest Jay Tomlinson moves.   
“Mum! I am sorry! I didn’t tell you because of the-” He stopped, it was not merely an incident, it was something that had defined their life and Louis’ childhood “because of what had happened mum.”

Louis felt tears prick his eyes as he realised that the cat is out of the bag and that his mother must know about his homosexuality now, something he had under the wraps for so many years. It was finally out and he felt scared, it was a monumental moment in Louis Tomlinson’s life and he was feeling his heart will fail him right now.

His acute fear would have been evident on his face because his mum dropped her smile and she placed a soft hand on his cheek. “Oh my god Boo! You think I did not understand you baby? I love you no matter what son. You have made me so proud! It’ll never matter who you choose to love, they’ll be so lucky is all.”Jay hugged him and Louis felt his restrain give way, he started sobbing uncontrollably, his body shaking with the force of the revelation and the lightness of his fear being lifted off his chest.

“It’s Harry isn’t it Boo? The one you love?” Jay asked quietly as Louis’ sobs subsided.

“He has someone else mum. I am no good for him. I drove him away myself.” Louis sniffs. Jay steps back a little and looks at his eyes as she pushes his fringe away from his forehead.

“You are not just good enough for someone, Lou. You are the best one can have and if you give Harry the chance, he’ll show you.” Louis was a well established 22 year old doctor but his mother always managed to make him feel like he was still 5 years old and sobbing over his broken toy, now the toy might have been replaced by his heart as he grew older but his mother’s love never changed. He was glad for that. His mother accepted him for what he was and nothing else mattered for the time being.

Zayn and Liam decided to stay back with Jay and the girls as Jay wanted to better know the guy dating his other son. (“So you guys use protection right?” Jay laughs as Liam gasps “Auntie!”)   
It was bursting in the hospital by the time the boys reached there, all the family members coming to visit their patients before Christmas arrives and they will be busy with entertaining others. They saw that the clean lobbies of the hospital taken over my little festive Christmas trees and even though there were instructions of not doing so he could see mistletoes hanging in some of the rarely used corridors and smiled to himself.

They made a point to hug and greet people as they went and Harry twirled Alice to the applause of everyone standing and she pinched her cheek fondly. Louis found himself smiling as he looked at Harry and it same time he found his heart being torn to pieces. Now he could easily say he knows how it’d feel to have an open heart surgery without administration of an anaesthetic. Fibre to fibre and artery to artery was being torn apart from Louis’ heart Harry continued to laugh.  
  
Harry spotted Nick clapping along with the crowd and pulled him towards himself, on the way Nick stumbled and landed palms first on Harry’s chest. Harry’s trilling laughter echoed in the corridor while Louis clutched his fists in tight balls and pulled ragged deep breaths to calm himself down. He looked at Stan beside him who was watching him sympathetically and he rubbed his knuckle on his nose to wipe away the wetness and held his hands as he made his way out of the crowd. If he had taken a look back, he’d have seen a pair of crystal green eyes looking at him and he would have seen the smile leave his lips as his eyes lingered on Louis’ hand in that of Stan.  
  
Everyone hugged Jeremy as he was being prepared for his surgery in the operation theatre but Harry and Louis decided they needed their alone time with the little boy. His parents talked to Louis about the procedure of the surgery while Harry went in to talk to Jeremy. He looked smaller than usual having lost all of his baby fat and his face appeared almost gaunt under the stark lights, the bags under his eyes cast in shadows. Harry stepped in tentatively and Jeremy opened his eyes to look at Harry and gave him a little smile, it broke Harry’s heart how it appeared to use all of his energy to just pull that smile and Harry wanted to break down because he was a sweetheart to smile when he looked at Harry.  
  
“Hey Angel! How are you?” Harry asked in a soothing voice.

Jeremy barely smiled a little wider and nodded his head once.

“I will be right outside you know? I will be with you _all the time._ ” Harry said taking Jeremy’s hand in his own, very gently.  
“I love you, Jer. Come back to me okay?” Harry asked already tearing up.

“You love Louis too right?” Jeremy asked in his broken voice and Harry’s body jolted to sit upright.  
“How?” Harry asked but he understood what must have happened and his cheek turned pink.

“I do Jeremy. I love him, but maybe it is not meant to be.” And a lone tear fell on Jeremy’s hand straight from Harry’s eyes which took both of the boys by surprise. Harry had promised Louis he’d not break down and he had to leave before he decided he wanted to keep Jeremy with him, under his wings and protect him from every pain and fear.  


“Be brave Jer. You will be with us soon.” Harry smiled at the boy ash e got up and Jeremy kept holding his fingers as long as he could.  
  
Louis entered the room 5 minutes before Jer was supposed to be operated on, Jeremy was awake now and propped up with his back to the pillows.   
Louis went for the classic Tommo approach with Jeremy.

“I spot a superhero amongst us! Will he be able to save us from our troubles?” Louis mock pretended and Jeremy laughed.  
  
“What do you need saving from?” Jeremy asked and Louis didn’t let his concern show on his face. Jeremy’s voice was merely a laboured whispered.

“Well I see some smiled have been stolen you see! I think we need to get them back!” Louis said in a scared voice and Jeremy laughed.

“I will bring them for you Louis! I love when people smile!” Jeremy said a slight twinkle in his eyes and Louis’s hands slumped to his sides as he went near Jeremy to stand beside him.

“I know you will champ. Just be safe and we’ll have our smiles back.” Louis said losing a little of his composure to his fear.  
“Don’t worry Louis. I will come back to see you fulfil my promise.” Jeremy says with a cryptic smile and Louis raises his eyebrow.  
  
“Your promise?” Louis questions feeling lost.  
  
“Remember when you asked me to be brave and try and beat my headaches you promised you’ll do something for me too?” Jeremy rasped and recognition lit Louis’ eyes. He had indeed made this promise.  
  
“What do you want from me, love?” Louis asked.  
“I want you love Harry back and bring back his smile again. It’s the only smile I can’t save, Louis. Will you do it for me?”

To say that Louis was shocked would be a gross understatement. He opened his mouth once, shook his head and tried again but closed his mouth in lieu of his erratic breathing and before he could give another attempt the room was swarmed by the many attending nurses and Dr. Fredrick.

He took one last look at Jer and kisses his forehead before taking his leave and heavily sat down on the bench outside the room with his head in his palms, clutching at his hair.

Why did Jeremy say that? Especially why love Harry _back_? Did Harry want him too? Has Harry discussed this with him? He felt a mighty headache brewing when he felt someone place a hand on his shoulder, it was too small to be Harry’s so he looked up in surprise to find Niall smiling at him.

“Hi Nialler. How are you, mate?” Louis asked forcing himself to not go back to his earlier slumped position.

“I would say better than you Tommo.” Niall said and Louis snorted in agreement.

“I am a mess Niall; it’s not even a secret now.” Louis sounded forlorn and Niall’s face clearly showed his concern.

“You know what else is not really a secret? Your lie about Stan.” Niall said and Louis pulled a sharp breath but didn’t say a word.

“Don’t worry Harry doesn’t know.” Niall continued to speak, draping his eye around his shoulder and pulling him closer. For a minute Louis only focused on the noises around him and tuned out his inner thoughts. He heard the stretchers rumbling down the corridor, the swish of the various doors opening and closing, someone was crying somewhere and there was a constant chatter of the various caretakers and the nurses. He breathed into the sterile air once more, feeling the crisp cold air reach his lungs and mix with the blood and that’s when he looked back at Niall.

“If Jer comes back to us, I’ll tell Harry. I will take it as some sign from the universe and I will, I swear.” Louis said.

Niall frowned a little, apprehensive of the clause Louis had put but he forced away the frown lines and smiled, it was progress and Niall would take anything Louis has to offer.

Niall pumped Louis’ shoulder and got up to take his usual rounds. Louis kept sitting for some time and then got up to join Harry where he knew he’d be working on the case and assist Dr. Fredrick if needed. There was no one in the library owing to the fact that most of the doctors were on leave as it was Christmas Eve and that’s why it didn’t Louis much time to locate Harry in the dark library.

He heard rather than saw Harry flipping through a giant volume having huge sheets as they swished through the air as Harry turned them. He hid behind one of the many racks and peeked to have a look at Harry.

He sat with a lamp beside him on the table which cast a soft yellow light on his face making his lips appear redder which he was chewing on biting softly. His lashes cast shadows on his face against the light. He ran a hand through his curls to push them away from his forehead but to no use as they flopped back on his head again and Louis his fingers twitch to actually touch his hair and bite on those lips himself.

He clamped a hand over his mouth to prevent from any voice to escape and especially a groan of frustration, he felt hot around his collar again and he thought maybe he should get himself checked up. After taking some steadying breaths he made his way over to Harry and sat down in front of him bringing with him a book to study.

Harry looked like he had suffered some personal loss and Louis understood this feeling, he placed a hand on Harry’s and squeezed it gently.

“I know it’ll be alright you know.” Louis said and his conviction echoed in the silent library.

Louis felt his eyes wander to Harry’s upturned collar and instinctively reached out to straighten it but slowed down on his way away from him so that his fingers brushed against the soft skin on Harry’s neck. He looked up at Harry’s eyes and lost himself in them. Harry looked curious and shocked but most of all he looked a little bit out of control like he was holding on to his sanity by the skin of his teeth, it made Louis realise how his hand had been at Harry’s neck far too long and he drew back hastily. He didn’t think about the disappointment in Harry’s eyes or the erratic heartbeat he was sure Harry must be able to listen to.          

Neither of them said anything but every so often one of them would find the other one looking at him and a blush would creep up their faces. They studied hard until Louis saw Harry hitting his head hard on the table apparently having dozed off. He held back his laughter and held him with Harry’s hand over his shoulder and half carried him to the waiting room, he left only when Harry had drifted off to sleep and Louis will never tell anyone that he was staring at Harry’s lips when he heard Harry mumble his name.

Over the next few hours Louis discussed the proceedings with Nick and even went in to assist Dr. Fredrick for an hour. He tried and ignored the crying faces and the worry on Jeremy’s parents his mother rapidly became catatonic. He instead focused on Niall’s hugs and Stan’s poor jokes. He only went to the waiting room himself when Nick commanded him to saying he doesn’t want to lose his best doctor to exertion. As he lay on the bed opposite to Harry’s, Jeremy’s words and his own words to Niall floated in his head and went on in a loop. He drifted off to sleep murmuring about love and promises.    

When Louis wakes up the top things he notices are his body ache from his bad posture in the library, the cramped space that is making his backache worse and the smell of Christmas in the air, sweets and herbs and Christmas trees.   
  
He saw that Harry had already left the room having made up the sheets and fluffed the pillow. He woke up groggily and looked at the time. Jeremy’s surgery has been going on for 12 hours now and with 6 hours to go he was sure the nerves would be high at the moment. But before he would launch himself back into his hectic life and the stress of it he got up and walked over to the bed Harry had slept in and sat down there and ran furtive fingers over the sheets. He realised he was quite a goner for Harry and now that he might be 6 hours away from confessing it to him he felt all the more drawn towards the younger lad.

He cleaned himself and went out into the corridor and was instantly surrounded by the heavy scent of baked goods and tinkling of laughter coming from various rooms. He walked away from the little happiness in the hospital towards the operation theatre and found everyone seated near the door with Harry serving everyone muffins. Nobody was in a mood to eat but Harry would have none of it, “Everyone needs to respect Christmas for the Christmas miracle to happen!”

Liam and Zayn came in when there was two hours to go and they hugged Louis to steady him, the past few hours had made a hole in his sure façade and now he had dissolved to biting his nails and pulling his hair and crying on Liam’s shoulder. Harry had looked like he had seen a ghost when he had walked away from all of them and towards the desolate corridor near the operation theatre.   
  
Harry went there and sat down on the floor his hands curled around himself and rocking gently to ease his tension. His head was buried in between his arms and he was breathing deeply. Dr. Fredrick would be out anytime now and he was scared shitless for what the verdict would be.

It seemed like after an eternity Dr. Fredrick did came out and Mr. Eriksen rushed towards him to know about his son while Mrs. Eriksen tightened his hold on Louis’ hand. He wanted to go and find Harry but he was no where within his sight, probably still sitting in the corridor. He looked up at Dr. Eriksen and prayed for his words to be positive.

“You son is safe Mr. and Mrs. Eriksen. We had a successful surgery.” There was a heartbeat when no where spoke and no one moved and Louis was certain he could hear his breath rush out of his lungs and blood gush past his ears.

Everyone was up in celebration and hugging each other. Louis felt himself engulfed by the boys’ hugs and he was crying, crying of relief and happiness. Jeremy was fine and he’ll be healthy and he’ll live up to have a good life ahead of him. His knees gave out in his happiness as he sobbed harder and Liam held him in his arms and ran his fingers through his hair to calm the boy down. It was a Christmas miracle and each one of them knew it. After he’d appropriately calmed down, Zayn asked the question on his mind.

“Where is the intern if I might ask?”  
  
Louis’ head snapped up from Liam’s shoulder and he looked at Niall and Niall nodded his head in understanding and encouragement. He stepped away from the boys and requested them to stay put here and he’ll go look for his charge.

He found harry still curled up in a ball, probably sobbing, probably dozing he couldn’t know as his head was still buried in his lap, curly hair flyaway.

“Hazza?” Louis said softly but it had a grounding effect on Harry as he looked up in panic to hear the news from Louis.

“He is fine.” These are the only words Louis could manage but Harry spread his legs and let his body lose so that his head went to rest on the wall and his hands palm down on the floor.

“Thank fucking God!” He breathed and rubbed his knuckles on his eyes to chase away the weariness.

“Can I go see him?” Harry asked already moving to get up but Louis sat down on his haunches and stopped him.

“It’ll take sometime atleast. Haz.” Louis said and Harry nodded in agreement.

Harry now looked at Louis now properly and his eyes seemed to take in the stress and the wrinkles that had appeared over the days.

“Are you alright, Lou?” and he said it with so much affection that Louis had to move closer to Harry just to share the same space.

“Hazza, I made to Jeremy before he went into surgery and I have to fulfil this.” Louis said and Harry cocked his head in confusion.

“Yes, Lou?” Harry asked gently.

“Um, I know I don’t even deserve what I am asking for but like a promise is a promise and I-” He was rambling but he was nervous and he couldn’t be blamed.

“Just go on Lou.” Harry encouraged him as he placed his hand on Louis’ thigh.

“I have hurt you and I have made you feel unwanted, I have made you sad and more than one time done something that has hurt your heart and I just-” He stopped breathing hard.

“Lou?”  
  
“I just love you so much that it scared me Harry. I had never had anyone to take care of me like you do, nobody has ever given me the strength to go on with my work like you, you are the first and the only one who made me see what perfect is and you are the one I can’t live without but only and only if you have me.” Louis said in one breath and he avoided any eye contact. He stopped only when he felt Harry’s hand on his cheek.

“Babe, look above and tell me what you see?” Louis looked up to see something that made his heart stop and his voice turned into a whisper.

“Mistletoe” Even before the word had completely left his mouth he felt Harry’s soft lips on his and he was shell shocked but once Harry had moved his lips against his he melted and responded. It was sunshine and honey rolled into one.

Harry kissed like he wanted to memorise the shape of his lips, almost studious and reverent. Louis placed his dainty hands on Harry’s chest and made to get his chest closer to Harry’s when he slipped a little and Harry had to steady him by his waist.

“Oops!”  
“Hi” Harry breathed and bit Louis’ bottom lip and licked it when Louis gasped. He nibbled on Louis' lips for a while before kitten licking his lips and finally moving away to get some breath. They didn't separate from each others embrace having found each other after such trouble.

“Lou, I love you. Have loved you since God knows when. You are all I’ll ever need in my life and I would be lucky if you complete me. You are my everything Lou!” Harry's forehead rested on Louis' and he kissed Louis once more.

  
And Niall would tease Louis later how he must have blushed and Louis would scoff and say that real men don’t blush but Harry would wink at him and Louis would glare at him to keep quite.

As they met Jeremy later on and told him the story when he was able to hold a proper conversation, they knew Jeremy didn’t understand much the concept of love and romance but he understood that the smiles on Harry’s and Louis’ lips are true and pure and Jeremy was glad Louis said I love you too and now that Louis looked at Harry’s smile when he kissed Louis in front of everyone, Louis was glad too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it my lovelies! I am extremely sorry if there are errors because this is unbeta-ed work. I just happen to love you guys so much and would love you hearts and comments in return. You guys can find me here! 
> 
> My [Tumblr!](http://ms-kryptonite.tumblr.com/) :)


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